mae

Look. They weren't perfect in the beginning. They were pretty toxic, ngl. THEY WERE TEENAGERS. JFC.

I don't think Santana "manipulated" Brittany into cheating on Artie. I fully believe that Brittany knew it was wrong so Santana gave her a "plausible" excuse. Brittany grew to love Artie but that whole relationship started out as a "Fuck You" to Santana.

Santana manipulated ARTIE into dumping Brittany.

They were bad for each other. Until they weren't. Somewhere near the end of S2, there was a shift. I believe it happened when Artie called Brittany stupid. That hurt. And I think that's when Brittany decided it was time to stop "playing" the dumb blonde.

Was Britt academically smart? Nope. She really wasn't. But Brittany *was* a genius. She saw things and people differently. I'm beginning to hate the word "stupid". There's a quote (attributed to Einstein but that's in dispute):

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

This is from the self-help book “The Rhythm of Life: Living Every Day with Passion and Purpose” by Matthew Kelly

The question I have for you at this point of our journey together is, “What is your genius?”

She knew Santana better than anyone else. She allowed Santana to "manipulate" her because it gave her permission to do what she wanted. It was when Artie called her stupid that Britt figured out that she didn't want to be that person anymore. She didn't want people thinking that she wasn't making her own decisions. And she *really* didn't want people thinking Santana was a bad person.

It was *Brittany's* idea to talk to an adult about their confusing relationship. Britt wasn't confused - she knew she loved Santana and knew Santana loved her. Her problem was Santana's word and actions didn't align - and she knew that was Santana's problem. Until Santana could accept herself, they were never going to get anywhere.

By the end of S2, they were on their way to a stable, genuine, healthy relationship. They didn't jump into it right away at the end of S2 (which would have been easy) - it happened sometime over the summer between S2 and S3 (I'm sure there are dozens of fics about that).

I need to talk about Brittany outing Santana. Twice.

In S1 - it was a slip-up and nothing will ever convince me otherwise. It wasn't Britt "being stupid" or "manipulative" ... we've all done/said things without thinking and I fully believe that's all that was.

In S2 - I believe it was deliberate but was done in such a way that it could be easily explained as something else (you were on the cheerios now you're in New Directions). I think manipulate might be a strong word because it was pretty ham-handed but I think it was definitely not a slip-up. I also want to note that Santana never called Britt stupid for it. Never even hinted that she thought Britt was stupid. "your ridiculous cheese show" ... Ridiculous? You can't tell me if it had been ANYONE ELSE, Santana wouldn't have called it a stupid cheese show. I also love that, even though she was supremely pissed at Britt, when Artie hurt her and Britt ran to Santana, Santana didn't push Britt off or give her the silent treatment or cold shoulder. Because they were, first and foremost, BEST FRIENDS.

S3 - Brittany was understanding with Santana's need to do things in her own time. They were kind and gentle and loving with one another. "You're a genius, Brittany, there's no one like you. You are the unicorn"

I know there are people who think Santana manipulated Brittany into leaving ND with the "leprachaun wish". No. Brittany and Santana had their own way of communicating. Brittany didn't believe Rory was a leprachaun (let's pretend for a moment that she believed in leprachauns - she would know that leprachauns are tiny) - she used Rory's manipulation against him. He wanted her "pot o' gold" and was willing to trick her by pretending to be a leprachaun. (Seriously, though, Britt eating candy out of the litter box was OTT).

When Santana asked Brittany to leave ND, Brittany asked if she could think about it. Santana telling Rory to tell Britt that Santana wished Britt would leave ND wasn't a manipulation. It was a communication. Santana wanted Brittany to understand how serious she was about leaving ND and how much she didn't want to leave without Brittany. Santana's communication skills were crap. It wasn't until late S5 when she started being more able to communicate. "I usually use a lot of words when I'm saying something negative" <- THIS is Santana. She hides her vulnerability and telling Britt "I really want you to do this with me because I really need to do this" wasn't going to happen. So she let Rory do her talking.

S3 was filled with a lot of really sweet, fun moments for my girls. Watching Santana be so young and in love was awesome. (The Christmas ep where she and Britt are dancing around with their matching socks and garland and Heart where they're just cuddling up in the choir room - oh yeah, and they got to actually kiss in that one ;) )

It was also home to one of THE WORST episodes ever. IKAG makes me a little feral even now. The ONLY thing I come close to liking is Brittany's face before "Perfect" ... if looks could kill, Finn would have dropped dead.

S4 - The most adult (yet ridiculous) thing Santana ever did was break up with Brittany. I hated it. I didn't think it was necessary. But it happened. Santana did it because she recognized that she wasn't being fair to Britt. Again, her communication is crap. Brittany didn't want to break up. It was a mess and I have blocked out most of S4 until E22 with "All or Nothing" because *that* episode was prime Brittana. It was heartbreaking and beautiful. Santana did what she did best; took care of Brittany. "You don't have to say anything Britt" ... of course she didn't because Santana just knew. She knew what she meant to Brittany. Brittany saying it out loud would make their separation too real and would wreck Britt even further than she already was.

S5 & S6 - our girls have grown up. They know what's out there and Britt's over it. "I've seen the world" ... "We're the only two truly awesome people in the world and I'm tired of doing stuff that matters to people who are less awesome" ... "Foremost expert in the field of Santana Lopez" ... Britt managed to untangle all of Santana's knots and get her to see what was really important and what Santana really wanted. No one can convince me that Britt wasn't in NYC at the end of S5 (FF: Where In the World Is Brittana? AO3: Where In the World Is Brittana? covers that headcanon that's really pretty much backed by canon).

So, yeah. They started off really bad for each other but by the time they get married? No. Tina (what?) said it best: "As somebody who has lived their life jealously attacking the happiness of others, even I can't hate this engagement. You guys are perfect for each other."

I have read people saying it's "toxic" because of Santana's line about Brittany always wanting Santana to be herself - meaning THEY think Santana is a cold hearted bitch with no redeeming qualities. BRITTANY has always believed in Santana's innate GOODNESS and GIANT, GENEROUS HEART. She wanted Santana to be true to herself, to be comfortable in her own skin (i.e. come out and be proud) to stop hiding.

I think that's it. I know there are people out there (much smarter and more articulate than I am) who have probably done a better job explaining this but ... these are my thoughts/opinions