minichibis' art

the ultra monty hall problem: you are presented with three doors and told that one of them contains a car, the other two goats. after your initial choice the host reveals a fourth door & asks if you would like to switch your guess, but only to the fourth door. you are not given any hint as to whats behind the fourth door

monty hall scattershot: you are presented with three doors and are told that 10 cars & 10 goats are spread across them completely at random. after your initial guess the host opens the door you picked, then asks if you want to switch to another one

the discursive monty hall problem: exactly like the regular monty hall problem except each door has a 50/50 chance of having a goat or a car

the monty prison problem: you and a stranger in a separate room you cannot see, hear, or communicate with are each presented with three doors. if you and the stranger pick the same door, you both get a car: otherwise you both get a goat. after your initial pick the host will reveal a door that the stranger did not pick and ask if you want to switch your choice-- the stranger is being asked the same thing

the monty hall solution: three doors (1 car & 2 goats). after your initial choice the host opens the door you picked, revealing its contents, then asks if you want the contents or not. irrespective of whether you were correct he will say "are you sure" 5 times at minimum.

the monty corridor problem: the host presents you with three doors: two of them contain goats, and one leads to three further doors: of those doors, two contain slightly smaller goats, and one leads to three further doors. and so on

the monty hall problem unrated edition: as the regular monty hall problem, but if you dont change your initial choice, whatever prize you get is doubled

the monty hall consensus: you are one of twelve contestants being presented with three doors. one door has $120000, one has $60000, and the other has 120 litres of goat milk. all contestants who pick a given door will have its prize evenly split between them. three of the other contestants (you dont know which ones) have been told which doors contain which prizes. you are last in the picking order.

the monty trust problem: you are presented with three doors and told that one contains a car, the other two goats. after your initial pick the host says "oh, well that's wrong. door x is the one with the car." none of the doors are opened. you are asked if you want to switch

the monty twist problem: as "the monty trust problem", but you are also aware that one of the doors contains a cursed gem that will free the previous host and force you to become the new monty hall

hall of the monty king: the host presents you with 100 doors. 4 of them contain various ungulates, 1 contains a car, and 95 contain a ticket that allows you to pick another door.

the monty "hard mode" problem: after your initial guess all three doors will be opened. if your initial guess was incorrect, the car will be demolished on the spot. the host will then ask if you want to switch to the other goat

monty hall aim assist: as the monty hall problem, but if your initial guess was incorrect, the host will switch your choice to the correct door without asking permission

the monty hydra problem: as the monty hall problem, but if your initial guess is incorrect, two more doors are added to the group, & the car is reshuffled to a random door, then you have to guess again. this will be repeated for every incorrect guess. you keep going until you either find the car or give up

the monty hall tragedy: you are presented with three doors. all of them have a car behind them, but you dont know how to drive. youve always wanted a goat

the sleeping monty problem: theres a sleeping woman backstage. depending on whether you picked door 1, 2, or 3, she will be woken 1, 2, or 3 times, asked a question, then have her memories wiped & be put back to sleep. the question is: "which door did the contestant pick". you get one car times the number of times she answers correctly

the monty hall political cartoon: you are presented with three doors. instead of being numbered, the doors are labeled "deficit", "drugs", and "the voting public". whichever door you pick, the host will shake his head in disappointment

monty at 20000 halls: as the monty hall problem, but after your initial guess, the host opens a door that reveals a monster sabotaging the set. nobody believes you when you try to warn them

You follow it. it's the only thing out of place you've seen since you got here. In the back of your mind you wonder what it could be. Is it bait? Is this a trap? Is there some lurking thing waiting at the end? Wouldn't that be exciting. More likely, though, this is someone else's path. A trail of breadcrumbs in the woods.

It occurs to you you have no way to date this scratch. Is there entropy in this place? What force would erode these marks? Does something clean these walls, or are they so empty they simply don't need cleaning?

You look down at the carpet beneath the scratch. It might be disturbed, those might be footprints, places where someone else had been here. Someone else. Anything else. Maybe it's an illusion, though. The carpet is, of course, a carpet; it's wall to wall, each loop sticking out in its own way. The slight graying, the gentle mustyness of it... is that the remnants of some past use, or did it come into being old and dirty and worn?

You wonder if you're going fast enough. Is the person who made those marks always just a few turns ahead of you? What if they're just on the other side of this hallway? One part of you wants to yell, to scream and get their attention, but something catches you in the throat, shuts your lips. You don't want to break the silence. Maybe you fear something noticing you, but moreso you fear the sound of your voice being drowned out, muffled by endless yellowed carpet and dry paneling. You carry on.

They're probably dead, you think. Does anything rot in here? Are they a blackened, moldering spot on the floor? Or will you find a mummy, some dessicated corpse of a roman centurian or a caveman? Maybe you hope theyre dead. You don't know how long you've been here, of course, but it feels like its been days. Despite that, your hunger, your thirst, your need to sleep... all tickle at the back of your brain, but none are urgent. None threaten your life. None offer an end to your wandering. If they are dead you'll be grateful, because that means you'll die too.

You've been following the scratch for a while. It's faded now, the jumps getting wider and wider, each turn now taking a moment to find the next mark. Did they get weaker? Was this their life fading away, their strength going? Or did they get bored, simply lose hope? You'll ask them when you find them. You'll find out what happens soon. As soon as you get to the end of the scratch.

You do. You do reach the end. You've scoured this room now, peered into the hallways around it, never straying too far from where you last saw the scratch. The rest should be here. The scratch. You go back to where it was, where you knew it was last, but you can not find it. Maybe you lost it. Maybe you stepped into another room, an identical room, and forgot. Or maybe it wasn't there at all.

Of course Peter Gallagher knows that "dank" is a weed thing. He also knows that "in heat" is a sex thing and that when aliens "probe" someone it's in the anus.

These are words, not things. Heathcliff is a comic about symbols.

You're never going to get a comic where an alien actually probes someone any more than you're going to get a comic where the Man-Eating Giant eats a man. You're just going to get a dozen comics where aliens like the word "probe".

Heathcliff wears the ham helmet because it's the helmet you wear when you eat a ham. You can tell it's that helmet because it says "ham" on it. The helmet's function is determined not by its form but by its label.

summer = beach = sand = desert = mummy and thus there is the Summer Mummy. Because of symbolic associations that do not otherwise cohere.

Robots don't wear clothes but the mere act of labeling them "nude" makes them nude. And once a painting is a nude painting there has to be a fig leaf because a "nude" without a "figleaf" is "indecent".