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“Yeah, but you don’t understand how compelling Phil peer pressures you and makes you feel like a terrible boyfriend,” Dan says without thinking; slowly pausing to reflect upon what he’d just let himself admit. In a bit of a panic, unknowing what to do, he simply continues and doesn’t even acknowledge what he just casually said while watching the chat freak out. Nonchalantly, he concludes his thought and brings the liveshow to an end.

“So I just fucked up.” Dan sighed, walking into their shared room where Phil was sprawled out on the bed browsing on his laptop.

“What do you mean,” Phil looked concerned.

“Just maybe, don’t go on any social media for the next few days.” Dan sighed, with a panic evident in his voice.

“Dan, what did you do?” Phil replied, sounding stern, setting his laptop to the side and scooting over to make room for Dan to sit next to him.

“I just nonchalantly referred to myself as your boyfriend in my liveshow on accident,” He said in one breath as he sat stiffly next to Phil.

“I-” Was all Phil managed to get out. Dan stared into his eyes, the fear you could see in them was still very much present.

“Okay,” Phil said, letting a long, panicked sigh escape his lips. “It’s not like it’s new information to anyone or anything.”

“So... what are we going to do?” Dan asked, very confused as to why Phil wasn’t particularly upset.

“Never acknowledge it again and just let ourselves be comfortable again.” He suggested.

“Is that really it?”

“I mean would you rather us backtrack or make a full on video or something?”

“No. I like just letting the information kinda sit with them.”

Every year, they celebrate 2 anniversaries.

One in October, marking the milestone of when they first got together in 2009. The second in August, signifying the date they decided to be ‘official’ again after being broken up and merely friends with benefits for 2 and a half years.

They both had mutually agreed that they would never acknowledge the fact they had ever even broken up in the first place. They wanted to just pretend like they had been together the entire 8 years; which technically, they had. They still did intimate and sensual things - just had lost the ‘boyfriend’ title. However, they liked having the day as an excuse to be a complete romantic sap to the other unapologetically.

The day they had gotten together is an old tale, story stretched and varied by many, some may argue that the stories are simply an interpretation. At the top of the Manchester Eye, overlooking such a large city, Dan felt invisible and brave. They pulled away after a short, sweet, but hopeful first kiss and Phil asked: “What are we?” To which Dan replied, “Whatever you want us to be.” “Boyfriends?” “Boyfriends it is.” The memory still makes Phil’s stomach flip the way it had so long ago.

The day they had broken up, not many words were spoken. An argument ended in “Well I’m leaving.” and a door slamming. He never did return that day, and then he came back a day later, still unforgiving and unwilling to mend. They did agree to fulfill each other’s needs. But that was the extent. The ‘boyfriend’ label they’d been assigned was dropped and pretended to have been forgotten about. Sometimes Dan thinks Phil did forget; the way he was so quick and unhesitant to cut it all off, right there and act like the last 3 years never happened. Sometimes Phil thinks Dan believed it was never real in the first place; the way he was so quick to deny what they had and shoot everyone who mentioned Phil’s name down.

The day they had gotten back together was a drunken night, post-YouTuber gathering. They’d stumbled sheepishly back to the hotel room, Dan gave Phil a toothy blowjob in the shower and they collapsed on their individual beds, staring at the ceiling. Phil couldn’t tell if he was black-out drunk or completely sober because he’d turned to Dan, who was still blankly staring at the ceiling - Phil swear it’d come alive - and whispered: “Do you think we’re wasting our time?”. A quick head jolt from Dan somehow eased the anxiety of the awaited response, despite the immensely confused expression that sulked across his face. “Like, we’ve both grown. We’re more mature than we were however long ago. We can handle hardships. I don’t know. We’re just pretending like fucking regularly doesn’t mean anything. We could have made so much progress in the time I’d spent platonically eating your ass-” Yep. Definitely drunk. “Or stealing wet, passionate kisses when you’d walk into the kitchen wearing nothing but your pants. You know?” All Dan mustered out was a faint, “Yeah. Yeah, I agree.” And that was it. There was no need for a further discussion because, after that, Phil threw himself in Dan’s double bed and wrapped his arms around him and lazily nestled into the crook of his neck like they hadn’t done in so, so long.

A few months ago, Phil had bought Dan a bouquet of assorted flowers and a new scented candle to celebrate the 3 year anniversary of rekindling - that really wasn’t even rekindling, because the spark never truly died - their old love. He’d taken him out on a fancy sushi date and the night ended with comfortable snuggles and forehead kisses. It’s nothing significant, really. They ignore the meaning of the date itself, aforementioned, they never acknowledge the fact they ever broke up.

And today, they celebrate their true anniversary. 8 years of constant reinforcement and reassurance. 8 years of disagreements and compromise. 8 years of spending almost every waking moment together. 8 years of true, requited love.

They woke up in their duplex, laying in the bed they share. The autumn sun was beaming through the, what were supposed to be, blackout curtains. The peaceful sound of birds and the surprisingly calming London traffic echoed throughout. The only reason he really considered the London traffic ‘calming’ was because it was what home sounded like. A siren here, a loud honk there, a bus making that hiss noise as it stops. That was home, and he’d never have it any other way.

“Goodmorning,” Phil sighs into Dan’s neck. His warm breath down his spine makes Dan shiver a little bit.

“Hi,” Dan doesn’t open his eyes or turn around, but Phil can tell he’s smiling just by the octave of his voice.

“Happy 8 years,”

“Uh huh.”

“You okay?” Phil snaked his arm around Dan’s shoulders and gently began to rub up and down his bare chest.

“M’tired.”

“Let’s go back to bed for a lil.”

And then the room was filled with nothing but the sound of consistent breathing patterns and faint snores for the next few hours until Dan had gotten up carefully and made himself and Phil a breakfast. The rest of the day was busy, but in the best way possible. Lunch date at a nearby cafe, gaming video immediately after, an hour for watching sappy rom-coms on the couch, dinner at a fancy restaurant at 7, and an unforgettable night immediately following.

They both knew they’d never let each other go again. They were content.

Quick lil author’s note: s/o to my friend for this concept and also a lot of this was inspired by this specific passage of one of my favorite songs lol ok cool

“And I said "What's up? What you been thinking? 'Cause you been staring at that roof So long, I swear it's come alive." And she spoke nine words, And now we're sinking, But I can't find it in myself to want to lie To keep this thing from going down 'Cause that girl took my heart And I ain't want it back No, I'm laying down my cards 'Cause you said it meant nothing And I should've kept my silence, But I guess I'm too attached To my own pride to let you know That all these words meant nothing And I've always been this heartless And we were just having sex No, I would never call it love But, love Oh no, I think I'm catching feelings And I don't know, If this is empathy I feel Just hold on, Remember why you said This was the last time”

“Hey, have you seen my charg- Phil? What are you doing?” Dan asked, peering around a corner to see Phil with his head carefully placed against a cup connecting to the wall.

“Shh!” Phil whispered, nestling further into the cup.

“Phil-” He said. He was cut off by Phil’s death glare slowing turning to address him.

“There’s an argument going on and I want the tea,” Phil whispered, just enough so Dan could hear it and Phil could still stay caught up.

“Please, don’t ever say tea.” Dan sighed.

“Okay,” Phil put his pointer finger up to his lips, “let me finish this. I’ll let you know who wins.” He finished.

“You’re so weird, I swear.” Dan groaned.

“But you love it.”

“At times.”

Both boys smiled, but Phil quickly jolted away to return to his eavesdropping endeavor. Dan silently shook his head from the top of the staircase, admiring the endearingly crazy boy he was so kindly blessed with. He quietly pulled his phone out of his pocket and snuck a few candid photos of Phil standing there with the cup against his ear. He was wearing glasses and his grey floral jumper, his midnight hair carefully placed over his brow bone. He returned back up to the lounge to finish replying to an email on what little battery life his laptop had left.

“Hey did you see my Twitter?” Phil yelled from downstairs.

“No, let me look” Dan replied. At this point, his laptop was died with no charger to be found, and he was simply sprawled cozily across the couch on Tumblr with his weighted blanket giving him the cuddles Phil was actively failing to provide.

He snickered at the tweet and replied with the pictures he had snuck just a half an hour earlier.

“You took pictures? Daaaan why would you expose me like that?” Phil whined. Dan could hear him marching up the stairs.

“You really exposed yourself with this one.” Dan laughed as Phil made his way around to the couch and sat at the ends of Dan’s legs.

“So what happened?” Dan asked, face still glaring down at his phone, after a few seconds of silence.

“Well, basically Margot was telling Joseph how he was annoyed that she didn’t put the sheets on the bed like she asked him to, and then Margot started saying she was the only one who did anything in the house anymore, and then I heard a door slam.” Phil released in one, big breath.

“Wow. Sounds intense.” Dan sarcastically replied.

“I mean, there was a lot more, like a LOT was said. But the basic rundown is that. I’m sure it’s alright now. I bet the bedsheets are securely on the bed and they’re making up as we speak.” Phil suggested, failing to wink at the last part. Dan just rolled his eyes.

“Are you gonna put your ear against the wall to listen to that too?” Dan said completely straight-faced, which made Phil punch the sole of his foot playfully.

“Shut up.” He fondly groaned as a response, attempting to sound slightly upset, but failing miserably.

Dan aggressively snatched the remote and abruptly paused the TV.

“Dan?” Phil whined. It was complete and utter silence beforehand, nothing that could’ve possibly set Dan off. Phil presumed everything was fine.

“I love you,” Dan stated as he swiftly turned his head to face Phil.

“Huh?” Phil inquired, slightly confused as to why Dan had to pause the TV to announce that.

“I felt as though I was pretty clear,” Dan started, “I love you.” He reiterated.

“I mean I love you too, but why pause the TV?” Phil giggled, his tongue peeping out ever-so-slightly between his teeth.

“Because you’re distracting.”

Phil cocked his head and gave a blank, puzzled stare.

“You’re too damn pretty that I can’t focus briefly on what we’re watching,” He sighed. “What even are we watching?”

“What are you on about?” Phil clearly wasn’t taking Dan seriously to any extent, as there was still a large grin tickling his lips.

“You’re just adorable, and I can’t keep my eyes off you, and it’s a little bit inconvenient,” Dan said in a hostile tone, but the words spoken were too soft to embody any harm.

“Well I’m sorry,” Phil sarcastically replied, his tongue slipped between his teeth once again. Dan absolutely adored that about Phil, which only made current matters worse.

“See what I mean? That! Your stupid tongue, how it pokes out when you laugh or smile. Put it away. You’re disgusting.” Dan complained in the same tone aforementioned.

“I sincerely do apologize,” Phil stated, completely straight-faced.

“Good.” Dan scoffed. Phil leaned over to where the remote was; carefully placed on the coffee table, and pressed play to resume their show.

Moments of comfortable silence passed before Dan unexpectedly felt a familiar grip around his waist. Phil. Dan leaned into Phil’s side gently as Phil took his free hand and began gently running his fingers between the chestnut-eyed boy’s chestnut hair. A content sigh escaped Dan’s lips as he nuzzled further into Phil, taking in the utmost comfort.

“For the record, you’re awfully cute and stunning as well,” Phil whispered as he moved a curl out of Dan’s face and placed a light peck to where the curl once resided.

“Good morning,” Dan sighed, picking a lock of Phil’s midnight hair and twirling it between his fingers. The warmth of Dan’s breath against his neck gave him an indescribable feeling of comfort.

“Mmmph” Phil mumbled in response. Dan placed his pointer finger under his chin and pulled his head up, placing a soft kiss on his lips. A soft pink tint surfaced on Phil’s cheeks as result of his boyfriend’s affection.

“Happy birthday, Phil,” Dan said as he fondly smiled at the beautiful sight that was Phil with his messy morning hair. The slightest grin tickled Phil’s rose-colored lips.

A familiar aroma Phil was unable to notice before ran through Phil’s nose - pancakes and coffee. “What’s that smell?” Phil asked, rhetorically, hoping Dan would confirm.

“I made you breakfast in bed.” Dan smiled softly as he ran his hands over Phil’s smooth, freckled skin.

“You’re the absolute best.” Phil sighed as Dan reached over and handed him a colorful plate with a stack of 3 buttered pancakes and a mug filled with coffee.

“Did you get anything for yourself?” The birthday boy asked, taking an elegant sip of his coffee and glancing up at Dan, who was fondly admiring the boy hidden behind the mug.

“I had some cereal,” Dan whispered.

“Would you like some pancake?”

“Noo,” Dan whined, extending the ‘o’. “I made those for you, baby boy.” Dan grabbed Phil’s exposed thigh and shook it gently.

“I’m older than you. You’re my baby boy if anything.” Phil shot a glance at Dan. A muffled giggle barely escaped Phil’s coffee-stained lips as he pressed a sloppy kiss to Dan’s sad dimple.

Moments of comfortable silence passed before it was broken by the clink of Phil placing his mug and plate on the bedside table.

“Do you have anything you’d want to do before we have to meet your parents at 5?” Dan inquired after burying the entirety of his body under the duvet, only his head peeking out, hinting at Phil what he’d rather do.

“Well,” Phil started, joining Dan under the covers between thought. “I’d love to stay under here for awhile and then maybe shower and watch some TV or play Mario--” he finished.