Healing my relationship with food

I've struggled with overeating most of my life but began to binge once I got my first job and had my own money. Over the years my binging became more frequent, I then began to purge and restrict. I've gained and lost weight so many times but never in a healthy way. Emotional eating is definitely the root of my issues and that I want to heal.

I'm currently 5'7" and 280 pounds. I'd like to lose 140 pounds but I'm not fixated on a particular number. The closest I ever got was 160 but I wasn't eating properly and binged back all my weight and more.

I aim for 1,800 calories a day.

I'm interested in walking more and doing zumba, bodyweight, and dumbell exercises 5 days a week. My goal is to stretch everyday.

I want to heal my relationship with food, treat my emotional wounds, and build healthy habits for my life.

Starting weight: 280 pounds

Current weight: 267.8 pounds

But today I'm back on track. Waiting to eat until 12, planned two meals and my med snack, will maybe workout later I'm trying to build up my eating routine first.

I find the mental stress of dieting to be really draining so I'm trying to act like this is my usual routine already and pretend it's just another day in a life where I already have dicipline.

I'm feeling more motivated now so you know what I AM going to workout today. I want the satisfaction of sore muscles and the endorphins after.

I keep coming back to it because I like not having to eat first thing in the morning and I feel like it gives my body a break from digesting. Then when i do eat i can really feel my fullness levels early on so I can stop when I'm content.

I just noticed i get snacky between breakfast and lunch and then again between lunch and dinner. But that's too many calories in a day.

If i eat later it'll minimize it.

It's a simple correction to make but I don't want to lose sight of it entirely.

I haven't been working out as much as I like so I'm going to try to do my stationary bike during the day and then workout with my husband after dinner.