A Five Day Hiatus, An Emotional Melt Down And The Promise Of Better Blogging
So, to summarise, this week has been a steaming pile of shite. It has rained almost constantly causing grey skies and localised flooding which has made me melancholy and livid in turn; work has been horrifically busy, full of tasks that I thought I was past having to deal with and people I wish I was past having to deal with. My period came on Monday bringing with it terrible cramps, mood swings from hell, hormonal hair (who even knew this was a thing?!) and a break-out that has literally left me looking like my 15 year old self. Add to this exhaustion and the disappointment of learning that I didn’t get something I had been hoping to, and you have all the necessary ingredients for a very Instagram unworthy week. Never was that old adage about your inner self being visible in your outer appearance proven truer than in every single outfit I put on this week. The clothes were not bad, but the stress, discomfort and general malaise of my internal life was writ large over every single garment I put on; this was not a week for picture taking.
So, being the massively dramatic person that I am, I took all of the above as a sign of my failure at life, wallowed in my hormone induced depression/hysteria, questioned my purpose and worth in a few seriously theatrical (wine induced) monologues to my husband and babies and doubted my dress sense (!) and credibility as a fashion/style blogger. Really, it’s a blessing that there are no pictures of me from the last five days – the world just doesn’t need to see that.
But now it’s Friday, it's sunny and much like a butterfly from its chrysalis, I have re-emerged feeling happier, brighter, a little less spotty and chocked full of patterns and colours. Most of this is due to my rise from under the funk of that toxic hormonal cloud, and the clarity of mind that comes with this. My being hormonal last week may have exaggerated some of my emotional responses (and completely created others), but my disappointment at the failure of certain opportunities to materialise was real and something I‘ve had to actually deal with. With the dawn of this new Friday, I’ve decided to err on the side of pragmatism and just accept that what wasn’t meant to be wasn’t and what is meant to be is still somewhere on the horizon. I’ve never been very good at being bullish and pushing my way through life creating incredible opportunities as I go – I’m too reserved, proud, and, in all honesty, haughty for that. Plus, I spent many a year living with the illusion that the extraordinary amount of hard work I put into educating myself and beavering away would have been enough to get me to where I want to be. But I’ve decided that from today I am going to be more serious about Mimi’s Moda and approach this blog in a more disciplined way in the hopes of increasing its readership and actually connecting with more of you lovely ladies and gents out there. As such, there WILL be at least 3 posts every week come hell or high hormones, most likely on a Wednesday, a Friday and a Sunday. I will be honest and open and really put the work in to stretch my writing ability and create a space that is honestly dedicated to looking at Fashion, art, culture and developing my style. At 32 years old, and still nonplussed where my career is concerned – its veered so far off track from what I actually wanted to do that I am kind of in the wilderness, which actually is exciting but also bewildering and at times disheartening – I would like to make Mimi’s Moda the thing I do that gives me the satisfaction and sense of professional(ish) accomplishment that I so desperately want. To this end, you guys’ participation and suggestions are invaluable so please continue to contact me, comment, share my shit and tell me what you want to see and talk about. I love fashion and writing and honestly even if no one reads this, it is stilla thing that has already shown me I had skills I didn'tknow I posessed - this is a thing I can feel proud of.
And now that this little slice of (frankly, uncomfortable) honestly has been served, ima move on to the rest of today; in other words grazing, obsessively reading fashion news and putting together articles for the blog. Onwards and upwards towards the weekend and a more productive life beyond. It’s a whole new Friday y’all.