milky!^_^

Certainly helps that I woke up energized at 6am after having a dream about writing a ton for it. I want to get this game done for y’all so badly, but ADHD really is a disability. I’ve dealt with it basically my whole life, worse since my teens, and it’s kept me from doing a lot of things. My executive dysfunction has been absolutely crippling in way too many aspects for way too long. I dropped out of high school because I couldn’t get out of bed in the morning 3 days out of the week. I can’t hold a job for the same reason; I can only work for the time I’m hyperfixated on the job, and then end up quitting about a month later when I can no longer stomach going. (I got my GED and I have never been fired, but these still significantly damage(d) me and my current life, along with my future.) It always seemed like everything that was good for me was on a timer. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety before ADHD, when the real reason was my ADHD was making me depressed, because I felt like I couldn’t accomplish anything, and anxious, because when I could, it was always temporary.

This game has taken me almost 4 years to make this much progress on it because of this. And I am so grateful to have such a kind, patient, and understanding community backing me on it. I know I don’t owe anyone an explanation, but now that I finally have one for myself, I felt like I should share it with you. If not to earn some peace of mind for myself, but also maybe to help some of you who struggle with the same thing feel seen.

For the longest time, I had no idea what was wrong with me. I felt like I was a failure, unable to accomplish anything unless it made me happy. Truth is, it was severe, debilitating, and *untreated* ADHD keeping me captive. Executive dysfunction is a torturous phenomenon, and one that i struggle with on a daily basis. I’m so lucky to have such supportive family, friends, and such a kind community for supporting me. It’s part of why commissions mean so much to me. Commissions are one of the only reliable ways that I can make money to take care of my lizards, my car, and myself with. And whenever I post something saying my commissions are open again, I always get kind souls wanting and willing to contribute in exchange for some of my art. (Which… said commissions are now open again, just by the by, if any of you are interested)