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Writers have two modes and they are "i haven't written in three weeks and i am rotting from the inside and everything feels wrong and i don't know who i am anymore" and "i wrote for four hours straight and forgot to eat and it's dark outside and when did that happen and i feel like a god" and there is nothing in between. no chill. no medium setting. just famine or feast and a very confused nervous system.
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in which: lohen shows up at your window late at night, completely unbothered by the risk, and asks to stay. what starts as panic turns into quiet, intimate conversation—until varka unexpectedly witnesses the whole thing.
warnings: fluff, secret relationship vibes, sneaking around, mild risk of getting caught, teasing, soft romantic tension, varka being amused and nosy
a/n: SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT OF ANOTHER LOHEN FIC i fear ive been busy with uni...
the first time lohen shows up at your window, you almost scream.
it’s late — far too late for visitors — and the room is lit only by a dim lamp and the soft glow of the moon slipping through the curtains. you’re halfway through getting ready for bed when you hear it:
a quiet tap.
you freeze.
another one.
more deliberate this time.
your heart starts pounding as you slowly turn toward the window.
“…no way,” you whisper.
the tapping comes again.
you inch closer, hesitating before pulling the curtain back just slightly—
and there he is.
balanced on the narrow ledge like it’s nothing, one hand braced against the wall, the other raised mid-knock. his expression is completely calm, like this is a normal, reasonable thing to be doing at this hour.
you stare at him.
he stares back.
“open it,” he says, voice muffled by the window between you two.
you blink rapidly. “are you insane?!”
“possibly,” he replies, unfazed. “it depends on how long you keep me out here.”
your stomach drops as you glance down instinctively — even though you’re several floors up.
“…you climbed up here.”
“yes.” he says it like it required no effort at all.
you hesitate for another second before quickly unlocking the window and pushing it open just enough for him to slip through.
the moment his feet hit your floor, you shut it again and pull the curtains tight.
“what are you doing here?” you whisper harshly, turning back to him. “what if someone saw you?!”
“no one did.”
he doesn’t sound worried in the slightest.
if anything, he sounds mildly curious about why you are.
you run a hand through your hair, trying to steady your breathing. “that’s not the point, lohen. you can’t just climb into my room in the middle of the night!”
he watches you for a moment, then tilts his head slightly.
“…but you didn’t say you didn’t want me here.”
your face heats instantly.
“that’s- that’s not what i meant.”
he steps closer.
not fast.
not sudden.
just enough to close the space between you.
“then what did you mean?”
your words catch in your throat.
being this close to him, in your room, at night — it feels different. quieter. more dangerous, somehow, like the secrecy itself is pressing in around you.
“we could get caught,” you manage.
“we won’t.”he says it simply, like it’s already decided.
your heart is still racing. “you don’t know that-”
“i do.”
he lifts a hand, brushing a stray strand of hair away from your face without hesitation. the familiarity of the gesture makes your breath hitch.
“i checked.”
“you… checked?”
“yes.” he doesn’t elaborate, and somehow, that makes it worse.
you stare at him, your expression somewhere between disbelief and something softer you don’t want to name.
“you’re unbelievable.”
“you still opened the window.”
your face burns again.
you look away immediately. “i panicked.”
“you recognized me.” he says it quietly, like that’s the important part.
you don’t respond. you don’t need to.
lohen studies your expression for a moment before his gaze softens just slightly.
“i missed you.”
the words are simple, but in the stillness of your room, they feel heavier than they should.
you glance back at him, your chest tightening.
“you saw me this morning.”
“that was different.”
he steps closer again, stopping just short of touching you.
“i couldn’t talk to you like this.”
your heart skips. “like what?”
his gaze flicks briefly to the door, then back to you.
“without pretending.”
the room feels smaller.
quieter.
you swallow. “you’re still going to get us caught.”
“then tell me to leave.” he says it immediately. no hesitation, no teasing.
just a calm offer.
you open your mouth—
and hesitate.
lohen watches you carefully.
“i thought so.”
your face heats as he lets out the faintest breath of something that almost sounds like amusement.
“just-” you whisper, stepping closer and grabbing his sleeve instinctively, “-keep your voice down.”
he stills at the contact.
then looks down at your hand.
then back at you.
“you’re the one pulling me closer.”
you immediately let go like you’ve been burned. “i wasn’t- i just-”
he moves this time.
closing the distance properly.
not touching you.
just close enough that you feel it again — that quiet, charged space between you that only exists when no one else is around.
“if you’re worried about being caught,” he murmurs, voice softer now, “you shouldn’t do things like that.”
your breath catches.
“you came into my room,” you whisper back. “you don’t get to lecture me.”
“that’s fair.”
he doesn’t argue.
which somehow throws you off more.
there’s a pause.
a quiet one.
then—
“will you let me stay?”
your heart stumbles.
“for a little while,” he adds, almost as an afterthought. like it matters less than the question itself.
you glance toward the door. then the window. then back at him.
this is a bad idea.
a terrible one.
you already know that.
“just for a bit,” you mutter.
lohen’s expression softens — not dramatically, not obviously, but enough that you notice.
“that’s enough.”
and when he leans just slightly closer, lowering his voice even further—like the world outside your room doesn’t exist— you realize you’d probably open that window every time.
---
varka wasn’t supposed to be back in mondstadt yet.
that’s what you keep telling yourself later.
that if he had stuck to his expedition schedule, none of this would’ve happened.
but unfortunately, varka has never been particularly predictable.
it’s late, quiet.
the kind of quiet where even the knights on patrol have grown sparse, their footsteps distant and fading.
lohen moves easily along the outer wall, fingers finding holds in stone like he’s done this a hundred times before.
(which he has.)
his movements are controlled, silent, precise—
until a voice cuts through the dark.
“interesting.”
lohen stops instantly. slowly, he looks down.
and there, standing a short distance away with his arms crossed and a very obvious grin, is varka.
watching him.
“carry on,” varka says casually, like he’s commenting on the weather. “don’t mind me.”
there’s a pause.
lohen doesn’t move. “…you’re blocking the path,” he says calmly.
varka raises a brow. “am i?”
he very much isn’t.
lohen looks at him for another second before continuing his climb like nothing happened.
varka watches, amused.
“you know,” he calls out, not even trying to be quiet, “most people use doors.”
lohen reaches your window, taps once, and waits.
“this is more efficient,” he replies.
varka laughs under his breath. “is that what we’re calling it?”
the window opens slightly.
you peek out and immediately freeze when you see both of them. “…oh no.”
lohen slips inside before you can say anything else.
you stare down at varka, horrified. “you didn’t see anything.”
varka looks up at you, smiling far too knowingly.
“of course not.” a beat. “…but i did see someone scaling a building in the middle of the night to visit a certain knight’s room.”
you slam the window shut immediately.
inside, you turn to lohen, panicking. “he saw you-”
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He was never against with you going out with your friends, but this particular night—you were gone for way too long. He was starting to regret he didn't ask you to just stay earlier. He doesn't know why he wants to feel you so bad, and why he needs you with him in bed so bad. He grabs your pillow and hugs it tightly, inhaling in your scent. Terushima reaches for his phone on your nightstand and calls you.
Your phone buzzes, but you were far too busy with your friends. The loud music that was playing from the speaker overpowering the repeated missed calls from your boyfriend.
Teru felt impatient as you weren't normally like this. He knew where you were but he knew he couldn't just barge in and directly ask for you to go home. He had to wait. Minutes felt like hours, and as time passed by, you've grown tired so you decided to go home while a needy Teru back home waited for you.
-
"Teru?" Only silence followed, which made you think that your boyfriend was already asleep. As you were about to lock the door, you were startled by your boyfriend hugging you from behind. His body pressed against yours, while his face laid on the crook of your neck.
You turned around to face him, while he still has his arms wrapped around yours waist. "Teru? I thought you were asleep. It's already late, you shouldn't—" He pressed his lips onto yours cutting you off. He tilted his head, deepening the kiss more. You kissed him back instantly, wrapping your arms around his neck, while your other hand plays with his hair.
He pulls away to look at you as he rests his forehead on yours.
"You took too long. I needed you. I need you." Teru just wanted to be close to you more than ever tonight and you saw how desperate he was. And he knew, his words and the way he looked at you was all it took for you to give in.
Tsukishima
Tsukishima wasn't normally the clingy type. At times when he needed your attention or just your presence, he would be straight forward. He would tell you when he wants to be with you, and you only. You were busy working in your study and he didn't want to bother you. He knows how important your work is to you.
The door creeked open-and there you were. Slumped over your computer, endlessly typing on your keyboard that you didn't even notice your boyfriend entering the room.
"Kei?" You didn't realize that he was already behind you, hugging you from behind. Kei only hummed in response, hugging you tighter, nuzzling his nose on your neck. "You need something?"
"Yeah. You." He grabbed your right hand and held it close to him, feeling your touch.
You chuckled at his response. You knew he wasn't usually this needy, but you guess it was probably because of the amount of times you guys haven't spent together.
Tsuki turned your chair around and hovered himselt over you, looking at you with tired eyes. "Are you coming or what? You can't just spend your night working. I've been waiting to at least spend some time with you this whole week. So, i'm only asking you once. Please, come to bed with me. Take me into your arms and let me feel you for one whole night."
Your gaze softened after hearing his words. After seeing your expression, kei couldn't help but blush after begging you like that. "Don't make me repeat it." He said, as he turned his head to the side, attempting to hide his red tinted cheeks.
For the whole night, you did as he wished. While he slept soundly in your arms, you played with his hair while smiling from ear to ear, hoping that this moment would last.
Suna
Suna just came home from training, and when you saw him enter, you greeted him with a warm smile. The smile that immediately melted him, making his knees weak. He tried to compose himself but failed. Luckily you caught him before he could actually fall to his knees.
"Suna? what's wrong?" Your concern for him warmed his heart. He was completely fine, but after a tiring training and coming to you right after made him feel relaxed.
"Nothing's wrong. I just feel tired that's all"
"Well, I cooked something earlier, want to—“ You suddenly get cut off by him dragging you back to your room. "Suna—"
"Not hungry." Before you could even respond, he cuts you off again. You started to become nervous because his expression looked so serious. You started to wonder if you did anything wrong.
"Look, did i do something wrong? You keep on cutting me off.
You asked, seriously this time. Because he wasn't giving you any hints as to what he is feeling, you thought that something might've happened for him to be acting like this.
"I just—" He paused, trying to get his words out. "I need you to hold me right now. I've been tirelessly training. So, i need you. now.
You knew that he would randomly get needy, especially after trainings, so who are you to resist? "Well, you could've just told me straight away, instead of making it seem like something bad happened you know?" You said as you sat down on the bed and patted the space beside you.
“I know, i know. I'm sorry. I just—“
"Stop talking. I thought you needed this?" You said interrupting him. It seems to him like he wasn't the only one needing each other's touch.
He cuddled up next to you as he laid his head on your shoulder, while he had his arms wrapped around you.
"You don't mind how i smell right now?"
You giggled at his question. As if you would have a choice anyway? He probably would have asked you to join him just so he could still see you.
"No. You smell bad everyday" You said, teasing him.
"And yet you don't complain. Your morning breath is much worse." Typical response. You gave him an annoyed look as he stuck out his tongue at you.
"Oh yeah? How about right now?" Suna wasted no time in kissing you and you kissed him back of course. No matter how much you'd complain, you still wouldn't mind anyway. You then both pulled away, and your night ended with the both of you in each other's arms.
Oikawa
Okawa rarely ever gets jealous or needy. And when he does get clingy, it's not as much as he is right now. Earlier, the both of you were sitting on the couch, having your usual "catch-up sesh" as you would call it. Toor loved hearing your stories and you felt the same way with his.
Okawa was asking about how you thought about his friends you brought up iwaizumi. You talked about how much you admired him back then and how you would often laugh whenever he would scold oikawa until now. Oikawa's expression shifted after hearing what you said.
You couldn't exactly tell what his expression meant.
Oikawa then shifted the topic into something else.
-
Later on, he would continue to follow you around the house and would ask you questions what you liked about him. Which was odd but you thought it was just his way to get your praise, like he usually does.
But this time, it felt different, and you think that the conversation you had earlier might have something to do with his behavior right now.
You decided to rest on the couch and tooru followed—he then climbed on top of you.
"Ok what's up? you've been acting different." You asked, genuinely wanting to know that got him acting like this.
"Nothing. I just want you close to me." It was already obvious that he wasn't telling the whole truth.
"If you don't tell me the real reason i'm pushing you off."
"Ok fine! It was about what you said earlier. I can't believe that you also admired iwa!"
You can't help but laugh at his reason. It was way back then so it shouldn't even be a big problem. But seeing his face right now, you still thought it was cute. Cute, but stupid.
Tooru could only pout after admitted to such a silly reason of his. You pulled him closer to you and told him that he didn't have to act this way because it was before you guys even dated.
He lifted his head up to look at you and his usual prideful expression faced you. You rolled your eyes at him.
"So are you ok now?" You asked.
"Yes, but we have to stay like this. I like being on top of you."
Kuroo
It was late at night and you were still busy scrolling on your phone while waiting for kuroo to come home. He told you he was going to a reunion party with his old teammates and that he wouldn't come home too late. But, as you checked the time, it was already 11:30 pm.
Just as you were about to put your phone down, your bedroom door swung open, and there he was. Kuroo was standing in front of you, with his eyes slightly open and messy hair. He stumbled in front of you and you got up to help him.
Kuroo then grabbed your hand, holding it against his face, feeling your warmth.
That's when you realized, he was drunk.
You sighed as you helped him freshen up. While you were fixing his clothes, he tugged on the hem of your shirt and leaned his head on your chest. You paid no mind to his efforts to get your attention because you were as tired as him.
Kuroo couldn't help but wrap his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him. "Hmm, don't move. I wanna feel you." he ended up slurring his words while trying to talk to you.
You sighed once again, using both of your hands to make him face you. You knew he was tired, but in this drunken state of his, it just means he's just as needy.
"Kuroo, i know you're tired. You can't even get your words out."
Kuroo just shook his head in response. It was obvious to you that you wouldn't get out of his embrace easily. But it would at least be better if you were both in bed and not while you're helping him inside the bathroom. If only you could just drag him out but he would just end up resisting you.
" ‘m not tired. Can we hiccup not spend a bit of time together?"
"You are tired and we can spend time together by sleeping. Can we please go to bed?"
Kuroo hummed in response and you ended up having to drag him to bed. He then wasted no time in warming up beside you, immedietly embracing you and burrying his face on your neck.
He hugged you tightly that it was almost like you won't be able to get out of his embrace anytime soon. You kissed his forehead as you watched him slowly drift off to sleep.
━━━━━━━━━━ ❤︎ ━━━━━━━━━━
finally finished this after sooo longgg. I didn't proof read this anymore because it's currently late at night 😫 anyway enjoy!
Fanfiction is supposed to be cringy. You're allowed to write bad. You're allowed to be cringe. Fanfiction is supposed to be self indulgent. You're allowed to be cringe. Let yourself be cringe. Fanfiction is supposed to be fun. Stop putting arbitrary rules on yourself and be free.
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