He can feel the flutter of her pulse, like a bird, and it’s wrong. Her heart pounds, speeds, and she’s larger than life. Confident. Big.
But here Jack could hold her in his arms, and she’d barely weigh anything. And she’s still so careful, like nothing’s changed. Like he hasn’t changed-
His hand curls around her, and the shaking stops- but his vision blurs, just around the edges. Jack won’t cry over this. He said he was done being upset.
“I did,” he admits, and his voice rasps. He sounds… tired. “But I didn’t get out fast enough. So maybe I didn’t want it bad enough.”
It wasn’t the first time she had been held like this, and she presses into the hand- too large, now, closer to Prowl’s than Jack’s. It feels off, in the way holding onto Prowl feels off- a hand too smooth and metallic, too big- she can’t even weave her fingers between his to hold him close, hold him safe.
So instead, she holds onto his hand, looks up at his face, fighting off her own tears. This is wrong, this is not her Jack, and a small tremor runs through her.
“You- you weren’t- it wasn’t your fault.” It wasn’t. Jack was some normal kid; he had never asked to be dragged into the nonsense that the Autobots- and, eventually, she herself- would drag him into. Some distant part of her is pissed, would be dragging Optimus and Arcee and Smokescreen and every single Autobot who had allowed ordinary human children to be dragged into their war off a cliff, but here, now, Jack needed her, needed to know that she was here.
So she traces small circles on the hand holding her, looking up at Jack, and smiles, soft, the way she did when she was trying to calm some scared citizen down enough for them to be able to get away from danger. “We’ll figure this out, right? I know some people- a few gods, someone who’s almost a god-- we can figure it out, right?”