MILLER.HERSHON

Photos © Maíra Acayaba

“Ten years ago I started a company.  It wasn’t a unicorn or anything, but after a few years it was worth a couple million dollars.  And that was enough for me.  I never wanted to be Bill Gates.  All I wanted was financial security.  And I thought I had achieved it.  We had a deal on the table.  It seemed like a sure thing.  It got so far along that I was sketching out my retirement.  But at the last moment it blew apart, and we never recovered.  Last Friday I called a personal bankruptcy attorney.  I haven’t even told my wife yet.  I want her to know the truth, but I don’t want to freak her out.  The stress is fucking killing me.  And I just turned sixty, so I’m grappling with the notion that I might not be employable.  After being successful for my whole life, suddenly I’m a failure.  But I’m trying not to let the dark side take over.  I’m fighting off suicidal thoughts.  I’m measuring my success by how well I can keep my humanity in the midst of this trauma.  If I can maintain respect for other people, it helps me feel better about myself.  So I’m trying not to snap at anyone.  I’m trying not to be vicious with my wife.  If I can’t be a successful person right now, at least I can be a good person.  And that’s a form of success.”

“I grew up in Australia.  For the first twenty-three years of my life, I lived and worked and partied within the space of a mile.  I had no goals.  I went out every night of the week.  But then in 2007 I went to visit a friend in Japan.  It was my first time on a plane, and suddenly I became addicted to the feeling of seeing something new.  I’ve travelled to fifty-one countries over the past ten years.  From March to October I work as a bartender on a small Scottish island.  I don’t take days off.  And that allows me to save enough money for another six months of travel, as long as I book far in advance.  And stay in hostels.  And limit myself to two meals a day.  I always avoid the expensive attractions.  My favorite thing to do is sit in parks.  After this I’m headed to Niagara Falls.  Then it’s up to Alaska.  I’m not sure what the end goal is.  I don’t have a bucket list.  I don’t feel the need to see every country.  In the beginning I was running away from my partying.  But now I’m just addicted to the unfamiliar.  Most of my friends are starting families and settling into their careers.  And I don’t have any savings.  So there are definitely times when I question if it’s worth it, but never while I’m traveling.” 

Slow Indigo, Devin Lunsford

“My therapist told me that reading the news was causing my depression.  So I’ve managed to completely avoid it for the past five years.  I used to consume articles for four hours every day.  I’d always read the New York Times front to back, everything except the sports section.  But then the Times caused the Iraq war so I switched over to leftist websites.  I always thought it was my obligation as a responsible citizen to pay attention to bad news.  I guess I was looking for some sort of understanding.  If only I could learn enough, then maybe I could help organize something.  But all of it just sent me into utter despair.  I began to look at other people as brainwashed.  Every time I saw someone having kids, I’d get angry.  Don’t they realize how uninhabitable the planet is going to be?  Everyone thinks if we just make a few changes, we’ll be fine.  We won’t be fine.  The problem is systemic and there’s no movement capable of ending capitalism in time to save the planet.  But anyway, I’m trying not to obsess over this stuff anymore.”

Neal Beckstedt Design

NoCal

IG : alexanderjpreston

~ by Eduardo Chillida Juantegui_