lightly toasted, never ghosted

this blog is not a well-curated museum. it's my bedroom & i'm putting things on my shelf & taping things on the wall

For the typical “gamer,” there is nothing unusual about spending upwards of 10 hours a year “gaming”

drink some fucking water

I like characters who are women and they suck and are bad people. Bonus points if she never really faces consequences.

nodding my head to show that i approve of all the shitty things this character has done because i'm a bad person

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me