freelance wizard

i test superpowers on my youtube channel. i have every power but no divine calling or moral ambition so instead its just speople send in power ideas and i review them. they will say something like "wifi enabled breasts" and i will try it out and say 2/5 kinda tingle. they will say "power to duplicate and command mice. i try it and say 4/5 my mouses army pleasant softness make me feel content. they say "deep fry and consume your own arms". i say thats not really a power,. but ok. 3/5. and thats the episode that blow ups. now im famous for arms and all my new suggestions are eating different body parts. i could ignore them but the money is too good. i try the normal ideas like jump really high but nobody watches. and i cant just make new money with a power bc nobody suggested that plus i have a deep respect for the economy. cry in my youtube mansion full of mice and i always smell like oil

wtf i just saw slender man looking through my fridge farting his ass off real loud

I’m reading this book about the changing arctic and the author stayed with the Nunamiut people of inland alaska for a while and talked to this high school kid who was like “ugh I hate going to school in the spring I wish I was hunting caribou” and I thought that was charming. you often hear about people who are devoted to preserving their traditional culture and knowledge but it’s rare to hear about someone who’s invested in the old ways out of pure teenage selfishness. school is lame and hunting caribou is awesome

Hey guys you should totally get into this thing i like. Yeah it's mid at best. It also aged poorly. You'll get nothing out of it at all. You'll like the idea of it more than the actual thing. But at least only takes half your natural lifespan to finish it

music not hitting, phone not hitting, Minecraft not hitting, food not hitting, mouth taste like blood, death comes for us all