Stay Gold

These past couple of months have been such a blur. I've experienced more than I thought I would have within that time and it was relieving. It has helped me develop the ambition I have now.

Yet.. here I find myself torn between the old habits and the new.

Familiarity can be either good or bad, but in my case I've had unhealthy experiences with it. I'm not necessarily fond of familiarity but instead the comfort it gave me. Unfortunately, it became an addiction because I have returned and left familiarity so often.

For a good moment I wasn't afraid of the unfamiliar. I laid in bed alone, all my errands done with nothing to do, and smiled.

The unknown was exciting.

It was nice. It was refreshing. It was like coming up for air from drowning. I couldn't wait for the next day and the days to come.

Being alone wasn't scary. To think for only myself and have no responsibility for no one other than myself, that was exhilarating.

I've thought about it often, I can have both if I allow myself to adjust the way I approach situations. Is it impossible? No. Is it possible? Maybe.

It will be a challenge and a mentally exhausting one.

Something I’ve thought about