until, slowly but surely, he pushed himself off the wall, yet he almost considered arguing against the invitation that sounded more like a hostile demand, but honestly? it wasn’t like he had anywhere better to go, and he’d be lucky if he didn’t run into a gang ready to skin him alive for stepping foot back home. “ is this just so you can fry me alive and hide my body in your apartment walls? ” he muttered, not too amused to show it wasn’t quite a joke. “ don’t think i forgot how pissed you were at me when that- that sorry ass rapper was still alive, ” and he meant it. nam-gyu had made it crystal clear he’d happily join in on teaching him a lesson back then. it was one hell of a shift since, and part of him still wondered if nam-gyu ever truly let that go.

“ a cat? ” he muttered, kicking a loose stone down the cracked pavement, “ you still get blood dirtying your hands, but the first thing on your mind is a cat, ” he shook his head, but there was no venom in it. if anything, it was closer to raw envy. at least nam-gyu had someone, even if it was a pet. “ so you always had her? or did she just show up one day like, ‘yeah, this psycho looks lonely enough’? ” he didn’t wait for an answer right away, “ what the hell was your life like before this? ” he asked, sharper now, but not angry. more like someone peeling off a scab to see if there’s still blood underneath. “ you’re the kind of guy i figured would be on some watchlist. but you talk about your cat like you still damn care, so... ” he paused, glancing at him sideways, “ you still have got anyone else? parents? shitty ex? any neighbors you traumatized? ”

and then nam-gyu said something that hit like a truck in the middle of the road. “ ...shut up, ” he muttered, voice low. not as icy as before, but more like he was trying not to snap. guilt was already tearing him apart inside; he didn’t need nam-gyu rubbing salt into it. the mental image of guys waiting to beat him unconscious in an elevator made a shiver run down his spine ( which he prayed nam-gyu didn’t catch ), and he turned with his most fed-up glare. “ you’d just sit and watch? that’s what you’re saying? i’d hope you could fucking relish it like you and your little thanos friend always did back then, it’s not like you’d see a single coin back if i got my ass kicked, ” he snapped, clinging to the chance of winning that stupid discussion so he would shut up.

not that it helped. myung-gi wanted nam-gyu and all the others to get their money back, even if almost no one believed him when he said that. it didn’t go into his pockets! he’d been tricked too, same as the rest of them. god, he even ended up in the same hellhole that they did. wasn’t that enough punishment? he nearly said it aloud, but bit it back. it would sound too much like an apology, and he wasn’t ready to go down the emotional route with nam-gyu. not when both of them were running on fumes and hunger. he’d save that for another time.

“ i don’t think stalkers get to dress things up with terms like ‘refined obsession’… obsession’s obsession, ” he muttered, ignoring the warning not to let it go to his head. a smirk threatened to tug at his mouth; he didn’t let it show, not fully, but deep down? it really didn’t matter if it was a crazed fangirl printing idol posters or nam-gyu listening to his old videos on repeat. either way, it was obsession over someone who didn’t even know you existed.

how was it any different?

hearing him talk like that, remembering how much he used to like him, only twisted the guilt deeper into his ribs. silently, anyway. so he stayed quiet the rest of the way up, offering only a slow nod before stepping into his apartment. nam-gyu wasn’t wrong, it did smell like cat food. and apparently, his cat was smart. beyond that, it was all surprisingly... fine. much cleaner than the chaos myung-gi had imagined in his head when thinking of where someone as unpredictable as nam-gyu would be living at. so he stood still, catching a glimpse of something alike softness as he watched him with his pet. like, really watched him. as if for the first time nam-gyu looked like something more than just one ticking bomb.

and it was the way the cat welcomed him that got to him; like she missed her owner.

even he’d been missed, he noted bitterly. a sigh escaped his lips as he ran a hand through his greasy hair, walking in further and shutting the door behind him. a small mirror caught his eye and he grimaced, and he noted that he looked even more disgusting than he originally thought he did.

“ i will pass, ” he mumbled when asked the question about petting her, sinking into a pretty uncomfortable chair. but anywhere felt comfortable after crawling back from the pits of hell. “ why is it that you’re the only man she likes? and we’ve been through worse than scratches, i don’t need that as the cherry on top. god, okay... how the hell are you still this energized? just say it, she’s not gonna pound on me if i pass out here, is she? scratch my face into shreds, hmm? ”

Yet Nam-Gyu wouldn't make these small sounds too loudly though - as much as he enjoyed being reunited with his furry, feline friend, he naturally values Myung-gi being with him. Perhaps even more. He's greedy, he craves human bond despite the bond that's been with him for longer. Does that make him a bad person? He feels like he should be thankful Aka didn't starve, thankful that his apartment wasn't broken into and ransacked - grateful that Aka is still here in general. Yet he can only be happy that another human is willing to spend time with him.

"Because I feed her." Underwhelming, much. But how else is Nam-Gyu meant to perceive Aka liking him? The only logic he can think of is because there's some kind of exchange going on. Her company for food - but it ran deeper than that. He was oblivious though, taking it at face value and never looking deeper. Watching Myung-gi sit down made his own legs start aching, as if begging for release from all the stress. He had forgotten about how much his legs hurt...

And so he would sit. Not on the couch or anywhere, but on the floor. He set the vocal cat down on his lap, running his fingers through her fur. Evidently, to pull out the fur that was shed yet stuck in her coat. He hadn't been able to take care of her properly, obviously - and he can't imagine how it must feel. And as he did this undeniably pleasing action for her, her vocalisations began to quieten down.

"I don't know why I'm so lively. I think I must be happy to be somewhere familiar." And with someone else. But most importantly - Safety. Because safety is a priority - home should always be a safe haven. He missed it all and although he knows he'll have to clean up, he knows he can do that later. It's not exactly the most important thing to do right now, even if it bothered him. He just knows the first chance he gets, contacting his plug is a must, "Don't worry about that, oh amazing Myung-gi. She doesn't attack if you're defenseless, like when you're asleep. She's a good kitty."

Nam-Gyu briefly stuck his tongue out, continuing to pull the loose fur out of her coat, ensuring to form it into one cluster. It....Wasn't graceful. It wasn't pleasant - certainly there were easier methods like using a brush, but he doesn't want to go looking for Aka's brush. Not when he could feel his legs finally thanking in for sitting down. Besides, his fingers are working just fine.

“ makes sense, ” he muttered when he finally answered his question. though it was obvious aka got most of the love nam-gyu had in him, if not all of it. “ i’d never really take you for the affectionate type. and you getting all handsy doesn’t count, because you’re fucking aware that’s just creepy, not nearly affectionate, ” he added, smirking faintly so it didn’t sound entirely like a jab. just maybe partially, anyway.

he then noticed when the other moved to sit on the cold floor instead. was it raw exhaustion catching up to him? myung-gi liked to think so. after all, this was his place. no sane person would pick the floor over a fucking chair, though nam-gyu’s sanity was debatable at best. “ does it bother me that i took your chair? do you even have another? or is this just you crawling down to stay close to your needy little pet... ” he muttered, trying not to relish too much the fact he had an upper hand on something as ridiculous as a chair.

he didn’t comment on the idea that maybe his cat even had him wrapped around her paw. his head wasn’t up for a fight, not when it was already on the verge of splitting open. and then nam-gyu asked something.

something so stupid myung-gi could only frown hard, as if the other had just tried to slap him. a short, mocking laugh left him, eyes narrowing as he tried to figure out if he was being serious or just screwing with him. “ ...i’m not gonna stand here waiting until your endless energy runs out so i can sleep, no, ” he immediately stated, “ who knows how long that would take? you can’t fucking stay still. i’m not controlling my eyes closing, and unlike you, i was actually on alert in that shithole making sure no one jumped me in my sleep, like your old friend thanos, ” the name always left a bad taste in his mouth. “ i’d get it if you were jealous of your bed, but you look way too comfortable on the floor, covered in fur already. ” with that, he stood up, making it obvious he wasn’t waiting for him to join.

🌟 ― i love how you portray your muse(s) 🎀 ― i love your aesthetic / graphics 💯 ― your headcanon posts are always on point ✨ ― i love the way you write 💫 ― i enjoy writing with you 😊 ― i enjoy talking to you 💖 ― you seem like a genuinely nice person ☀️ ― your posts always bring me joy ❤️ ― you're one of my favorite blogs 🌺 ― simply admiring you from afar

it makes him laugh a little , the sound slightly girlish in a way . a creep , what a funny thing to call him , maybe the girls in the club were right after all — oftentimes he didn't spare a glance anyone's way , but ah you see , drugs are bad . ‘ 아니 , 아니 .. just gotta — you know just .. ‘ he stops himself when no efficient excuses come to his mind . so he simply sighs , and rests his forehead against mgcoin's arm instead . playing the role of a regretful mutt , knowing he's done something wrong . tomorrow , namgyu will face the uglier side of this dog finally sobering up and feeling exhausted . though his ' boss ' will take care of him , he always does , namgyu has no idea why he shares such treasure with him , but he does .

until, slowly but surely, he pushed himself off the wall, yet he almost considered arguing against the invitation that sounded more like a hostile demand, but honestly? it wasn’t like he had anywhere better to go, and he’d be lucky if he didn’t run into a gang ready to skin him alive for stepping foot back home. “ is this just so you can fry me alive and hide my body in your apartment walls? ” he muttered, not too amused to show it wasn’t quite a joke. “ don’t think i forgot how pissed you were at me when that- that sorry ass rapper was still alive, ” and he meant it. nam-gyu had made it crystal clear he’d happily join in on teaching him a lesson back then. it was one hell of a shift since, and part of him still wondered if nam-gyu ever truly let that go.

“ a cat? ” he muttered, kicking a loose stone down the cracked pavement, “ you still get blood dirtying your hands, but the first thing on your mind is a cat, ” he shook his head, but there was no venom in it. if anything, it was closer to raw envy. at least nam-gyu had someone, even if it was a pet. “ so you always had her? or did she just show up one day like, ‘yeah, this psycho looks lonely enough’? ” he didn’t wait for an answer right away, “ what the hell was your life like before this? ” he asked, sharper now, but not angry. more like someone peeling off a scab to see if there’s still blood underneath. “ you’re the kind of guy i figured would be on some watchlist. but you talk about your cat like you still damn care, so... ” he paused, glancing at him sideways, “ you still have got anyone else? parents? shitty ex? any neighbors you traumatized? ”

and then nam-gyu said something that hit like a truck in the middle of the road. “ ...shut up, ” he muttered, voice low. not as icy as before, but more like he was trying not to snap. guilt was already tearing him apart inside; he didn’t need nam-gyu rubbing salt into it. the mental image of guys waiting to beat him unconscious in an elevator made a shiver run down his spine ( which he prayed nam-gyu didn’t catch ), and he turned with his most fed-up glare. “ you’d just sit and watch? that’s what you’re saying? i’d hope you could fucking relish it like you and your little thanos friend always did back then, it’s not like you’d see a single coin back if i got my ass kicked, ” he snapped, clinging to the chance of winning that stupid discussion so he would shut up.

not that it helped. myung-gi wanted nam-gyu and all the others to get their money back, even if almost no one believed him when he said that. it didn’t go into his pockets! he’d been tricked too, same as the rest of them. god, he even ended up in the same hellhole that they did. wasn’t that enough punishment? he nearly said it aloud, but bit it back. it would sound too much like an apology, and he wasn’t ready to go down the emotional route with nam-gyu. not when both of them were running on fumes and hunger. he’d save that for another time.

“ i don’t think stalkers get to dress things up with terms like ‘refined obsession’… obsession’s obsession, ” he muttered, ignoring the warning not to let it go to his head. a smirk threatened to tug at his mouth; he didn’t let it show, not fully, but deep down? it really didn’t matter if it was a crazed fangirl printing idol posters or nam-gyu listening to his old videos on repeat. either way, it was obsession over someone who didn’t even know you existed.

how was it any different?

hearing him talk like that, remembering how much he used to like him, only twisted the guilt deeper into his ribs. silently, anyway. so he stayed quiet the rest of the way up, offering only a slow nod before stepping into his apartment. nam-gyu wasn’t wrong, it did smell like cat food. and apparently, his cat was smart. beyond that, it was all surprisingly... fine. much cleaner than the chaos myung-gi had imagined in his head when thinking of where someone as unpredictable as nam-gyu would be living at. so he stood still, catching a glimpse of something alike softness as he watched him with his pet. like, really watched him. as if for the first time nam-gyu looked like something more than just one ticking bomb.

and it was the way the cat welcomed him that got to him; like she missed her owner.

even he’d been missed, he noted bitterly. a sigh escaped his lips as he ran a hand through his greasy hair, walking in further and shutting the door behind him. a small mirror caught his eye and he grimaced, and he noted that he looked even more disgusting than he originally thought he did.

“ i will pass, ” he mumbled when asked the question about petting her, sinking into a pretty uncomfortable chair. but anywhere felt comfortable after crawling back from the pits of hell. “ why is it that you’re the only man she likes? and we’ve been through worse than scratches, i don’t need that as the cherry on top. god, okay... how the hell are you still this energized? just say it, she’s not gonna pound on me if i pass out here, is she? scratch my face into shreds, hmm? ”

-> bondage.

are these too tight ?

you look so good like this, all splayed out for me.

hands off, or i'll have to tie them down.

feel that ? every knot tightens when you squirm.

can we try the cuffs tonight ?

tell me where you want my mouth, since your hands can't reach.

don't worry, i'm going to take my time with you.

hold out your wrists.

[ BOUND ] sender finishes tying receiver's second hand to the bedframe. [ TIE ] sender creates makeshift hand restraints for receiver out of clothes / etc. [ STRUGGLE ] sender thrashes against their restraints in throes of pleasure. [ REPRIEVE ] sender unties receiver during sex so they can finally touch them.

-> predator / prey.

i'll give you a head start.

clever hiding spot ... pity i know every inch of these woods.

fear tastes sweeter than surrender.

[ naaame ], where aree youuu ?

your whimpers sound more honest than your words.

chase me, catch me, then see what i do.

your scent gives you away. heat and salt and want.

please, as if you could outrun me.

you can't hide forever, [ name ].

you look pretty enough to eat.

[ CHASE ] sender chases receiver through the woods. [ HIDE & SEEK ] sender has hidden, receiver is hunting them down. [ BITE ] sender digs their teeth into the hollow of receiver's neck. [ CAPTURED ] after catching them, sender straddles receiver on the ground.

-> voyeurism.

don't tell me, show me.

sit there and don't move. just watch.

keep your eyes on the mirror ... watch yourself come undone for me.

show me how you touch yourself when you're alone.

see how stunning you look like this ?

you don't get to touch me yet.

louder. i want them to hear you.

mister shaky hands had roamed the streets and tested every single drug that you could name — begged for them like a pathetic little dog , addiction is the mother of all wicked things or something like that . he was ready to do anything to have his fix , back then he had much more insulting names sticking to him then mister shaky hands . the bastard has gotten him in this mess anyway ! now he's doing this . namgyu jumps and tries to snatch it away , laughs shakily when it's pulled away from his grasp . he covers his mouth with a trembling hand and closes his eyes ; gotta calm down , it's there , all he has to do is to take it , those babies aren't going anywhere . ‘ fuck .. fuck you bastard . ‘ he is laughing again , quietly as he rubs his weary forehead . the tremor in his fingers are visible , every partner he's been with had either made fun of it or yelled at him to man up . funny . thanos' name makes him rabid . he growls out of nowhere and launches at him once more , fingers itching to wrap around the bastard's neck but he stumbles again . ends up on his knees , the frustration he feels out of his feeble attempt to fight makes him slap the ground and yells . ‘ it's your fucking fault anyway ! who got me in this mess ? i was living my miserable fucking life ! i was — i was .. ‘ yeah it's not going to make myunggi give them back to him . he sits there on his knees in the bathroom , a tear rolling down his cheek . he wipes it while he licks his lip , and whispers ; ‘ i need to get good just one more time . then i will stop . i need it .. i need it . ‘ then he holds his shaky hand out , stares up at myunggi .

until, slowly but surely, he pushed himself off the wall, yet he almost considered arguing against the invitation that sounded more like a hostile demand, but honestly? it wasn’t like he had anywhere better to go, and he’d be lucky if he didn’t run into a gang ready to skin him alive for stepping foot back home. “ is this just so you can fry me alive and hide my body in your apartment walls? ” he muttered, not too amused to show it wasn’t quite a joke. “ don’t think i forgot how pissed you were at me when that- that sorry ass rapper was still alive, ” and he meant it. nam-gyu had made it crystal clear he’d happily join in on teaching him a lesson back then. it was one hell of a shift since, and part of him still wondered if nam-gyu ever truly let that go.

“ a cat? ” he muttered, kicking a loose stone down the cracked pavement, “ you still get blood dirtying your hands, but the first thing on your mind is a cat, ” he shook his head, but there was no venom in it. if anything, it was closer to raw envy. at least nam-gyu had someone, even if it was a pet. “ so you always had her? or did she just show up one day like, ‘yeah, this psycho looks lonely enough’? ” he didn’t wait for an answer right away, “ what the hell was your life like before this? ” he asked, sharper now, but not angry. more like someone peeling off a scab to see if there’s still blood underneath. “ you’re the kind of guy i figured would be on some watchlist. but you talk about your cat like you still damn care, so... ” he paused, glancing at him sideways, “ you still have got anyone else? parents? shitty ex? any neighbors you traumatized? ”

slowly myung-gi rubbed the back of his neck, eyes flicking around the cramped streets like he was already plotting escape routes; but really, he wasn’t planning on going anywhere. and nam-gyu’s company was a breath of relief in that empty night; even though he’d rather die than admit it. “ your uncle sounds like one of those dusty photo albums nobody wants to look at. like, too awkward to throw away but useless as hell. family’s great at being inconvenient reminders, i guess... i, uh, i’m not exactly eager to dive back into that mess either... ”

myung-gi’s voice dropped low when he mentioned jun-hee, that subtle glimpse of something fragile breaking through his sharp edge as her image came into his mind. as much as he tried to shove it back, she came back. she always did. “ i don’t have her, see, she- she actually wants me gone, ” he revealed, the words tasting bitter on his tongue since for the first time they felt like they were true. it wasn’t easy to say; but nam-gyu opening up surprisingly fueled him. it sat heavy in his chest. jun-hee was pregnant. from his cold. the thought alone twisted something tight inside, a mix of shame and fear he wasn’t ready to unpack.

"With every step, yeah. A few more turns and we should come to the building. It feels kind of weird walking home instead of sleeping on those bunks." He mused, briefly glancing up at the sky. The sky - and not just the ceiling. It was beautiful. It made him feel like everything was okay now - he never appreciated something he saw daily until now. Though a part of him couldn't help but miss those bunks, being surrounded by people. In the entirety, he kind of misses the situation.

Nam-Gyu soon snorted a laugh, shaking his head, "Oh before I lost my money I was crazy for you. Like, literally insane." But he wouldn't elaborate. He wouldn't mention how he had previously taped a picture of Myung-gi onto the wall so he had motivation to work. He wouldn't mention how he watched, and sometimes even slept, Myung-gi's videos multiple times. And he certainly wouldn't mention how at one point he ate a picture of him - that certainly may set alarm bells off, and Nam-Gyu would rather avoid alarming him. Especially since he grimaced at his own actions.

Eventually, Nam-Gyu pulled Myung-gi down another bend, but he certainly perked up more. No doubt, this was the street his building was in. And no doubt he was more concerned about the current status of his pet - certainly that was the obvious, with how he suddenly picked the pace up. Once they got to the building entrance, Nam-Gyu grinned, looking to Myung-gi as he briefly stuck his tongue out, quickly retracting it back into his mouth.

“ fifth floor, huh? ” he muttered, glancing at the stairs that seemed endless, “ figures you'd pick the most inconvenient level. should’ve known you were the type to make people... work for it, ” he didn’t wait for a response, already taking the first step up like it didn’t matter to him either way, even if his legs were screaming at him to rest. pride had always been myung-gi’s deadly sin. “ besides, ” he added, voice a little breathless but smug, “ everyone knows elevators are for the rich and the lazy, and last i checked, you’re still sad, and broke. ”

by the third floor, he was slowing, though he masked it well; kept one hand shoved in his pocket like he was just casually strolling through hell. “ ...crazy for me, hm? ” he echoed, tossing the words over his shoulder with a deadpan eye roll. “ you’re not exactly subtle, nam-gyu. you stared at me like i was the prize money, even before you lost everything, ” slowly but surely he smirked, shooting a glance at him. like he knew it all along, but hearing him saying it devoted made him almost guilty he’d made him lose it all. “ you’re getting the full experience. hope it lives up to your... creep obsession. ”

briefly , the length of his index finger touches his lips as a feeble attempt to shut the man up , and briefly does he glance around to make sure nobody's awake or too scared of him to say anything in the daylight if they are . nervous but grinning , reddened lips stretched over slightly crooked set of teeth , too much so he had to cover his smile with his palm . ‘ he — wouldn't like it if he found out yeah ? yeah , myunggee huh ? hmm . ‘ he scratches the side of his forehead before tucking the already tucked hair behind his ears . soft hushes leave the other's lips , getting to fix the covers on myung's shoulders like a careful mother .

but suddenly he's pausing , his head leaning downward . 333's back is turned to namgyu and maybe that's better — he's uttering more words to namgyu than thanos ever has , he's sober , he's so fun to rile up because myunggi doesn't say no to pretty much any sort of touch . namgyu leans in , brushes the tip of his nose against the bump of myunggi's shoulder . ah such scent — how the hell this bastard keeps smelling like this after the games ? you know what they say ; if you're attracted to the scent of someone's sweat , you're .. probably just a little horny and might be clever to think about taking a cold shower . ‘ ah - heh . ‘ his palm presses on myunggi's arm , squeezes and rubs . trying to turn him to face the ceiling , eager and kinda excited . thanos has been generous today , namgyu is awfully touchy when he's high . at least slightly , he feels a bit dizzy and euphoric that's all . ‘ ya' smell so good .. very good . you use a cologne ? ‘ a useless question just to stir something , just to hear something , to wait to hear something while he's fucking smelling myunggi like some rabid dog looking for pets . and myunggi won't pet him . namgyu's chin rests atop his knuckles , while his hands grip myunggi's arm . he tilts his head to catch myunggi'a eyes , squeezes him like a pillow , whispers quietly ; ‘ let me smell . ‘

Rae is giving me the permission to post what I redrew with the inspiration of her Myung-gi and obviously my Nam-Gyu. I dunno if this makes any sense, so I hope it does.

Do not reblog unless you're @mgco1n !

-> bondage.

are these too tight ?

you look so good like this, all splayed out for me.

hands off, or i'll have to tie them down.

feel that ? every knot tightens when you squirm.

can we try the cuffs tonight ?

tell me where you want my mouth, since your hands can't reach.

don't worry, i'm going to take my time with you.

hold out your wrists.

[ BOUND ] sender finishes tying receiver's second hand to the bedframe. [ TIE ] sender creates makeshift hand restraints for receiver out of clothes / etc. [ STRUGGLE ] sender thrashes against their restraints in throes of pleasure. [ REPRIEVE ] sender unties receiver during sex so they can finally touch them.

-> predator / prey.

i'll give you a head start.

clever hiding spot ... pity i know every inch of these woods.

fear tastes sweeter than surrender.

[ naaame ], where aree youuu ?

your whimpers sound more honest than your words.

chase me, catch me, then see what i do.

your scent gives you away. heat and salt and want.

please, as if you could outrun me.

you can't hide forever, [ name ].

you look pretty enough to eat.

[ CHASE ] sender chases receiver through the woods. [ HIDE & SEEK ] sender has hidden, receiver is hunting them down. [ BITE ] sender digs their teeth into the hollow of receiver's neck. [ CAPTURED ] after catching them, sender straddles receiver on the ground.

-> voyeurism.

don't tell me, show me.

sit there and don't move. just watch.

keep your eyes on the mirror ... watch yourself come undone for me.

show me how you touch yourself when you're alone.

see how stunning you look like this ?

you don't get to touch me yet.

louder. i want them to hear you.