From The River To The Sea Palestine will be Free

im moving out in a month, going to go as low contact as I can, and I feel like I'm going more and more insane as I count down the days

i'm no contact with my mother and low contact with my father, so a few things:

sort out the logistic decisions like emergency contact before it becomes an issue. it sucks ASS to be sick in an urgent care when you have the realization of "who do i put as an emergency contact now" if your parent(s) have been your default. it is not an added factor to have to process live in public when you already feel like shit.

make sure there's nothing left in their house that you will be upset if you never see it again. my mother accidentally made this easier than it would have been otherwise because she threw out a fuckton of my stuff once when she was mad at me, but there are still things i wish i had and probably never will because i won't go back there.

plan your holidays in advance if being with people on holidays is important to you. for me, holiday dinners were always so stressful and anxiety-inducing that i prefer having my holidays alone because that's SO much better than how i grew up, but if you're someone who would feel sad at spending holidays alone, decide in advance what you're going to do. volunteer somewhere to serve holiday dinner? invite a friend over? find a friend to go home with? decide ahead of time what's going to feel good to you.

know ahead of time that other family members are going to have questions or be sent from your parent(s) to try and push you back into contact. decide how much you want other people to know. don't get backed into a corner and say more than you planned on. know exactly how much access to your truth other people deserve and can be trusted with.

Hmmm, maybe I could listen to their song without walking into the sea…

Maybe this rope could help… but how…?

When you're talking about the design of the boat, you say "it".

When the boat is still being built, your say "it".

When the boat is nearing completion, you can say "it" or "she".

When the boat is floating in the water you probably say "she", unless there is still a lot of work to be done (e.g. no engine yet) then you say "it".

When the boat is officially launched and operating, you say "she". If you continue to say "it" at this point you are not incorrect but suspiciously untraditional. You are not playing the game.

If you are referring to a boat you don't really know anything about you may say "it" ("there's a big boat, it's coming this way"). But if you know its name, it's probably "she" ("there's the Waverley, she's on her way to Greenock").

If you are talking about boats in general, you say "it" ("when a boat is hit by a wave it heels over")

If you speak about a boat in complimentary terms, it's "she" ("she's a grand boat"). If you are being disparaging it may be it, but not necessarily ("it's as ugly as sin", "she's a grotty old tub").

If she has a boy's name, she's still she. "Boy James", "King Edward", "Sir David Attenborough"? The pronoun is she.

If it's a dumb barge (no engine), you say it. But if it's a rowing boat (no engine), you say she.

“You can always assume one thing about your clients; and that is that they are doing their best. Always assume everyone is doing their best. And if they’re having a day where their best just isn’t that great, or their best doesn’t look like your best, you have to be okay with that.”