that one friend whos always in situations

the queer community needs to hype up disability pride month (july btw) while queer pride month is happening. the queer community needs to amplify disabled queer experiences.

the queer community needs to recognize intersex people and how many of us have disabilities related to our intersex variation - and this Still Does Not Prove Eugenicists Right.

For anyone unaware, I recently received these three (3) asks, likely from the same person.

This situation started over an unposted ask on my now deactivated blog Milqdrop. While I didn't save it, because I didn't see any point in doing so at the time, I will paraphrase it:

Why do you label yourself as a cisgender man on your NSFW coining blog if you claim to be genderfluid here (SFW coining blog)? I'm sick of fake [t slur]-wannabe cissies entering our spaces in order to get a quick jack-off session out of our very real oppression. You're just a stupid [c slur] [j slur] looking for more ways to destroy woman-oriented spaces, something your kind is good at.

(The ask itself was a lot more jumbled, and contained a bit more to it, but that's irrelevant.)

Obviously, this is an incredibly stupid ask. I try to keep slurs away from my blogs, so I never outright responded to it. However, I did make a joke post shortly after. A few hours after this, I reblogged the joke post with a serious addition — which you can read here[link] — and continued with daily activities.

The answer to their question boils down to “I was born male, and I understand some people do not like engaging with people like me in sexual spaces”. I describe myself as a “largely cisgender man” when necessary to do so. I am perisex, I cannot claim to be “AMAB”, this was the next best option. I am not cisgender, I primarily identify as genderfluid with a tendency to lean towards male-aligned genders.

I then received the first ask from above. This, too, is an incredibly stupid ask. Since the issues match with the original, I'm inclined to believe the anons are familiar with one another. The inclusion of me being Asian doesn't make total sense, I assume it's an expression of outrage towards my post about racism in the MOGAI community, of which you can read here[link].

It did not take long to receive the second ask shown after responding to the first. The same rhetoric, the same sender, there's not much to add.

While these asks were, of course, distressing, they were initially funny. Such blatant TERF rhetoric being sent to me by someone too cowardly to stand by their opinion does not hold much weight to me. I received an outpouring of support, of which I am very grateful for.

And then,

Things escalated a lot. It became clear to me that, no, this was likely not a coincidence of someone finding my NSFW coining blog and holding issues regarding it; it was racism being covered by petty issues. I don't believe this anon is the same as the others, but obviously I cannot be sure. It's disheartening, albeit all too common, to receive things of the same nature in online spaces. I should have expected it, but in a community like this I was under the impression people would not resort to such words. It's something you'd find on Twitter, not Tumblr.

At this point, I had had maybe two (2) or three (3) hours of proper sleep over the prior three (3) days. Despite this, I was at least coherent enough not to reply to the ask, and instead blocked them. I turned anonymous off at the recommendation of others, and continued about my day.

A few hours later, I made the decision to turn anonymous asks back on. This was a mistake, chastise me if you wish. I saw the third ask and almost immediately deactivated my blog. I feel very strongly towards cultural femininity, and such words were so unexpected at the time that I “gave up”, you could say. I had someone cover my first shift, and passed out for a few hours. Here we are, now, with a new blog and a much larger recap post than I expected to make.

I am upset, I am still distressed, but I am finding it a lot easier now to form thoughts about the situation. I think the phrasing (your kind, people like you, you people) was intentional, drawing on heritage and culture was intentional, and the consistent effort to make me out to be one of the “bad cisgender men” was intentional. This attack, whether ragebait or not, hit all the markings for:

Racism

Transphobia

Misogyny

Exorsexism

in only three (3) asks. It is a disgusting situation, and it will happen again; whether to me or another person of colour. I wish I could say there's a lesson to be learnt here for the future, but there isn't.

I did not give any negative ask sent to me a real answer. I engaged in mockery towards them. I likely should've handled the situation with more maturity, and the fault lies on me for that mistake. There are not many individuals who were born male active in the community, and I squandered an important chance to bring light to issues unique to us. For that, I ask for forgiveness.

No

Wait

Stop 

(These are full sentences! You do not need to say any more) 

I am not comfortable. 

I am not comfortable, I would like… 

you to wait a moment.

another person in the room. 

everyone else out of the room. 

a doctor/nurse of my same gender to preform this test/procedure. 

the person who came with me to this appointment in the room. 

you to explain everything before you begin. 

you to tell me what you are doing as you go. 

to do this another day. 

I want to get a second opinion before we proceed.

I don’t understand, please repeat that. 

I don’t understand, please explain more simply. 

Please say that slower/spell that, I want to do some research myself.

I would like to talk to [someone in my life, ie my parents to SO] before making this decision. 

No, I do not need to talk to [anyone] before making this decision, I am confidant on my own and am ready to proceed. 

What are the side effects of this medication/procedure? What are the potential complications? 

Why are you recommending/prescribing this specific thing? 

What other treatment options are there? Why are you choosing this?

Would your treatment plan be different if I were a man/woman older/younger had kids, etc? Why are you choosing this one then?

IS there anything I should know about this treatment you have not yet told me?  

I understand you say not to, but If I choose to do X, against medical advice, what risks am I running? (ie taking recreational drugs while on medication)

How much will this cost? 

Are there any less expensive options/tests we can run first? 

Is there a generic of this medication you can prescribe instead?

I think you are not understanding me, I said…

You are not listening to me, please let me finish describing my symptoms. 

You are not understanding how much pain I am in, let me clarify… 

I do not think it is anxiety/depression/my weight/etc, what else could it potentially be? 

I think by assuming it is anxiety/depression/my weight/etc you are ignoring some symptoms. Please listen again and let’s discuss what else it could be. 

Please write in my chart that you are not testing for X and why not. 

I am in enough pain/this is detrimental enough to my life that non-treatment is not an option. If you can not treat this/figure out what is wrong, to whom can you refer me?

Please write (or help me write) a summary of what we did today so I don’t forget 

What are our next steps? 

If [what you are recommending] is ineffective, what would my next steps be? What other doctor should I talk to? 

What is the best way to contact you if I have additional questions or issues? 

“No I would not like to be weighed today.”

but holy hell I love it

when bots run amok

so essentially the extra water actually goes into the bloodstream which gets put into the kidneys and the rest gets used up by your cells and muscles and organs and whatever else your body uses it for!