yeah shoutout to pleasures of the flesh

Do we have a franz kafka diary entry for july 1st, i want to know what he thinks!!!

Franz Kafka Bicycle Moments

Imagine the level of whimsy I could reach if I just had $5M in my bank account rn

op must have been on meatloaf and mashed potatoes when they posted this

I don't want to be negative but I do think we need to kill some of these people

the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive

do you want to play dead bodies with me

floats along your dash face down and quiet and cold

i bet it feels good to be an underwater plant just swaying in sync with the flow of water

I always wanted to be the guard that tells only lies

I mean I've actually never wanted to be that.

Stupid stupid stupid. C'mon. At this rate I'll never be a lie guard.

As a professional guard who always lies, don't worry about it, you're doing great.

advertising lemonade is pointless. the human body already knows it needs it

“you’re so weird, are you on something?” yeah i’ve been on tumblr for 10+years

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