egoist.

Oh but how much she’d missed and loved when Mercy spoke in her own language! She was a constant light and wonderful inspiration to say the least. Saphira had remained calmed, and quite happy to see the fellow vampire lady, however it wasn’t until she was pulled in a hug that the baroness was not only taken aback. A struck of emotion invaded her entire body, it was unexpected but not any less welcomed, it was -she dared to say- warm. The brunette, unused to be hugged like this, she was far more surprised for how she was not hesitant this time. 

The embrace was returned and the youngest one couldn’t help but hold onto her perhaps a little too long. While not facing her she furrowed her brows, for some strange reason she felt that annoying sting in the back of her eyes. A saddened expression was soon replaced by a bright grin, that was the kind of effect Mercy had, her eyes almost innocent-like, a trait so weird amongst their kind. “Thank you Mercy, however what’s a glow compared to a shining star like you?” she was quick to add with a brighter grin. 

It was in this small moment Saphira understood, she was afraid of being rejected all along, and here she was Mercy in all her splendor pulling her back towards her side. She knew the Dyatlovs resemblance between each others were strong, and as of this moment Mercy might’ve been one of the bravest vampires she every laid her eyes on. “Wouldn’t miss it in the world, we’ve been far too away already.” she said while intertwining their arms together, the door was opened and Saphira was not going to close it soon. “Have you been well?”

Smiling, true genuine smiles were not lost to the older vampire. There always was a lazy grin on the girl’s face, as Mercy would be off in her own private wonderland of happiness if she was not talking to anyone. However, they were far and few between, and although the small upturn of her lips were never forced, but they were never the same as before. There was a lightness inside of her that she missed, the ease of life that she pretended she had inside of her once again, but it wasn’t until now, actually interacting with people in the court and people that she once pushed away, that it had truly returned to her. She could look upon Saphira without hurt and betrayal glazing over her eyes, the features and similarities no longer piercing her heart like an ice pick.

mercy had been thinking a lot lately, which was a miracle as to properly reflect on things in her life was a rarity. but with everything that has happened lately, mercy could not help but use her brain to process everything as she laid on her chaise–from feliks to adrienne, to her king and his new queen. for once, she could not lounge around, her mind not letting her rest because it wanted her to be more properly aware of her emotions, to not just feel but also understand the complexities of the emotions that weighed humans down and restrained them. they weren’t all bad, but the fact that she her mind pulling itself in twenty different directions and creating way too many questions, mercy needed a reprieve.

“¿mi dulce miel? i would want no one else.”

“I loved you because you loved me, all of me. You saw that I was beautiful in every aspect. I didn’t need to be better, I didn’t need to be different. You loved the monster and the girl and every fucked up little piece there was. I thought you were my eternity. I never thought love was possible until I met you. I didn’t think love was real, but we burned together so brightly. But you’re not that man. I loved that man. I loved what you were.”

“Don’t all daughters love their mothers?” Mercy laughed, giving a small shrug. “I love you because there is nothing about you not to love. You and I are similar and different, but each part fits where it needs to fit. I can help but enjoy the worry you have for me. No one really did worry about me before, not that I gave them a reason to, but you still do. What can I say other than I love the attention and the love you give me, so of course, I would return it.”

“Why does the moon love the sun? Why does the tide love the shore? Why do the bees love the flowers? You are essential to me. You are my savior and my heart. My sanity and my devotion. You are the honey that I can taste and devour until the end of days. I love you because you are Adrienne. You are sweet like honey, but powerful like a Goddess. I love you because you put me back together but also allowed me to grow and learn on my own. I just love you because you also love me.”

kass tried not to laugh, and was somewhat successful except for a slight, quiet chuckle. “oh yes, you’re taking over the entire floor with your dancing.” she smiled a bit sadly, though with inevitable acceptance at mercy’s statement. “that we are. although, not the beheading or set-on-fire sort of death that would actually keep you from visiting me, as you well know. what would that be called for us? the final death? sounds properly morbid.”

mercy was so elegant and lavish. a part of kass admired that and even related to it strongly. it went along with her own materialistic personality as well, but she also thought mercy was absolutely dramatic. it was almost comical. if she wasn’t dramatic, however, kass would begin to think she were ill. she took a seat when mercy waved her hand and crossed her legs, looking at her. “just because we’re in an eternal motion cryo phase doesn’t mean you have to literally do nothing. this is quite pathetic if i must say, even for you. you’re only moving because of me? do you even hear yourself? you’re barely moving at all as it is. are you ill?” kass wondered, crossing her arms over her chest and frowning with a roll of her eyes. “i would hope so.” she smiled just the tiniest bit, happy that she was better than those people. “seriously, though, you… are worrying me a bit. you recently came back home, fine, but let’s not pretend like moving is exhausting for us and that we have to look dead. not acceptable.”

“aren’t i wonderful? amazing? so graceful.” mercy raised her hands in the air and let them sway to the melody that was playing in her head. it was soft, but languid tune, played somewhat messily in the invisible orchestra that populated mercy’s brain. close to the music one would find at a funeral perhaps, but not as morose. it was just soft. “i would make a wonderful bodiless head, wouldn’t i? just perched on some mantel of someone who successfully killed me? but fire, i love fire. that would be the final death i’d prefer, but i do not plan to die. I will languish all of eternity unless it is time for me to visit you, then i’ll be as lively as a fall crow.”

It was an odd sensation. To know Mercy to her very depths and still feel this way about her. Adrienne had closed herself off a long time ago, closed off from love and relationships— the whole bit. She lived her first fifty years out of Madam Amalia’s grasp alone doing her own thing and finding her retribution. She was content that way. Never bringing in anyone else to get close to her or to stop her from her ultimate goal. Then she met Gabriel and while they had started off sharing a mutual endgame, there was something different about him too. The insane over protectiveness she felt for her king the more time they spent together only seemed to grow exponentially to what it was today. As much as Gabriel insisted that he was unlovable or insisted that he could not love someone else, he had done just that with Adrienne. With all of the members of the court. It had taken some time for they to all warm up to each other, but the sort of relationship that they had cultivated was the reason that Adrienne was standing here today. It was only because of Gabriel’s love for Adrienne that she had been able to even start to love another. There was the whole matter of time though, the toughest hurdle to cross of them all.

But Adrienne and Mercy had been given time, time for Adrienne to piece her back together (however tedious it had been). She could feel her heart start to beat in a way that it hadn’t before. She had began to worry for the other vampire, carefully looking out for her in ways that she did not show to the other members of the court. Of course, there was nothing that could break the bond between her and Gabriel and no one could possibly take the place that he had in her heart. But there had always been a corner of her heart that remained vacant, covered in cobwebs and completely sealed off from any person who ever tried to attempt. But the more she tended to Mercy, the more she gave her heart to her. The small shards of Mercy had penetrated into that part of her heart, clearing away the dust as she began to complete Adrienne in a way that she did not think was possible.

There had always been the matter of Feliks though, the reason that Adrienne had sought out Mercy in the first place. Years and years of trying to convince her that it was Feliks that had made the choice to leave her because of his own selfish reasons. To convince her that he left and that he didn’t come close to deserving her love or affection in anyway. That he was a fool for leaving someone like her, to leave her so fragile and… Broken. But she wasn’t broken, she was just lost. Adrienne only ever wanted to bring her back into the light so she wasn’t lost in the darkest parts of her mind. To guide her to live a life of immortality fulfilled instead of so desperately lost. She had begun to think that all of that work and effort that she had put into making Mercy understand that had fallen on deaf ears that whole time.

But now she was there in front of her admitting that Adrienne had been right, that she had always been right about him. And her next words rang through her head, echoing so loudly she swore she must have been hallucinating from it. To hurt you while I hurt. It was not until those very words were spoken that Adrienne realized exactly what she had been fighting for all along. Mercy was the first person in all of her centuries of living that drove her to fight for something for the sole reason of loving them. Not in the way that she fought for Gabriel because of how she loved him. Her love for Mercy was something that she couldn’t even fathom, it was the sort of love she never thought could be brought to fruition for all of eternity. It was true. It was just. By no means had it been easy fighting the slight tug of her heartstrings whenever the other vampire was around. It was not easy to see her so undone when the only thing she wanted for Mercy was for someone deserving of her love to love her and be loved by her. This wasn’t something that happened in an instance between them. It was the product of half a century of growing and understanding one another to the point where things without the other just didn’t seem to make any sense.

She couldn’t help the shaky breath that escaped her lips when Mercy brought her hand to her cheek. That same breath she let out the night before as her fingers had dragged across her back like matches. Why she didn’t realize it until now was something she wished to not think about. It had always been Mercy. It was always only going to be Mercy and those words were the only things that had solidified those thoughts in her head. The ideas she had always flirted with but never did anything about. Adrienne let her eyes flutter shut as Mercy closed the distance between the two of them, still guiding her closer with the hand that had been resting on her chin. She knew the moment their lips would meet that would be it for her. That her fears the night before that stirred when they kissed wouldn’t matter because there was hope in her chest now. Hope that Mercy had always felt the same as Adrienne. They had just been too lost before for them to realize that in the years of trying to find something to make them have a grip on this world, they had found each other. Hope that now they had come into the light, hand in hand, heart to heart. It wasn’t something she had understood until Mercy pressed her lips against hers.

Adrienne moved both of her hands to encompass Mercy’s cheeks as she deepened the kiss. Aside from the night before, she had never wanted to share this part of herself with anyone. But in some weird twist of events, Mercy showed her that she could. That love was possible even for someone who thought they deserved it the least. She felt a rush run through her as she pulled Mercy closer to her, wrapping her arms around the girl’s neck so she couldn’t pull away for air or even for a moment. She always knew she hated Madam Amalia for doing what she had to her, but now she felt grateful. Grateful that even though her mortal life had been chosen for her, that everything she went through and everything she did made her the person that stood before Mercy today. Her path in life had led her to Gabriel, her other half— her soul. It led her to Candoris, the only place she had ever been able to call a home. And it led her straight to Mercy, the only person she had truly been in love with. If it weren’t for her and her maliciousness, Adrienne would not have been able to live her life to her fullest extent. Sure, it had taken four centuries for her to get there, but being in the arms of Mercy, her manzanita, proved that the wait had been worth it. That perhaps an immortal life with her could be fulfilling instead of the hell she had deemed it long ago.

In that moment, she stopped thinking. Thinking of all of the ways that she could possibly mess this up, because there were none that made sense. She let her senses take over, never breaking away from the kiss. She moved gracefully and carefully over the other vampire so that her legs were on either side straddling the girl. She sank further into the kiss, sinking down onto Mercy’s lap as she pressed her body against hers. It had felt so good to be this close with another person. To be in the arms of someone she loved entirely and trusted with her whole being. She tangled her fingers through the girl’s hair, pushing and pulling her in every which way, letting out soft moans against her lips. Adrienne had never wanted anything so badly in her entire life than to give her everything to her. Mercy was hers. And she had given every bit of her heart that she could to the girl before she knew she had.

Ironic that the one thing that Mercy adored the most was the one thing that was completely lost to her as a human. Love. Love was a foreign concept. Her mother, the ideal mother would have doted and loved her daughter unconditionally, but Mercy’s mother. The woman that gave birth to her in the midst of the world coming apart around them only seemed to want to use the young girl. Then there was knight, who doted on her and promised her more to her life, but whether or not that was a situation that was created by her mother, it was torn away for something better. The promise of a title. A lord and his son, both of whom fell for Mercy in different ways and to Mercy, it was still love. Their affection came in different forms, both of which Mercy had experience with.  She was young and she didn’t know better. To learn that her value was in her looks and her charm, but Mercy knew, deep down inside of her mortal heart and soul, she knew it wasn’t right. She probably always knew that was her path down in life, but she was fine. Everything was fine.

Until it wasn’t. Until her heart slowed and her blood ran cold. Fangs would appear and she would never want to retract them Her skin, still like cream, but ashier. Darker. Her life was no longer just fine. It was sensational. To feel the strength in her muscles. Mercy was never just a girl, that much for sure. Yet nothing never felt more right than sinking her fangs into the helpless and the weak, to literally feed on the people she would only play with their minds. Mercy’s life began the day she was turned and everything before her was nothing. She destroyed the story, the prequel, as it did not matter, torn apart and burnt to ashes. Her backstory was not Mercy the mortal, but the story that mattered, the beginning to it all, started in fire.

And then came Feliks. What was once just mere idea tainted with the people of her past, it was purified by the fire that was Feliks Dyatlov. True love or that was what Mercy felt it was. And it was for a long time. He plucked her from the chaos and loved the monster and the girl. No, he matched the monster and the boy and the girl fell in love with each other. It was supposed to be good. It was supposed to be great, but the best love with the strongest fires had to burn out. But it wasn’t a burnout, was it? It was Feliks pouring buckets and leaving Mercy without even a smoldering ash. The ash produced no phoenix. Not yet. No, that phoenix had to be coaxed out and the love and care came from someone Mercy never expected but was not surprised by.

She was soft and hard. Unyielding but caring. Adrienne Morales was the best parts of the love she got from her mother and the perfect parts of the love she got from Feliks. If only Mercy could truly see it. Even as it was right in front of her, with no distance between them, Mercy could still feel the pain and the anguish of the betrayal still stung like a burn that refused to heal. But to give it was so easy. Even if her heart was not prepared, was not ready to give herself all in to love again, Mercy herself was ready to give in to this feeling that she adored. To love was amazing, to feel the warmth that being a vampire denies her from within. She never knew how much she really wanted it until it was taken away from her because it was never given to her in the first place. Mercy could love Adrienne and she wanted to. If only that was enough, but there was no more time she wanted to waste.

Mercy tangled her hands into Adrienne’s dark locks, pushing her weight back onto the girl. It pushed the other girl away, but as Mercy rose from her knees, the phoenix finally feeling ready to shake off the ashes, she freed a hand and snaked it around the other girl's tiny waist, pulling her closer to her. Mercy wanted to be as close to the girl as possible, to feel her heartbeat as her own. Their kiss was hesitant, not like the one that stemmed from pure adrenaline and excitement from the night before. No this was them stepping into new territory they both had reservations about, but not because of the feelings that were stirring inside, but because of they themselves. But Mercy was arrogant, she had always been, and even her own fears were afraid of her.

kass had been contemplating on visiting mercy for quite some time now. truly, she’d paced back in forth in her bedroom over the matter as if it were some life-or-death situation. she didn’t know why it took her so long to come to the decision. actually, she knew why, but she also didn’t know why. the whole matter was absurd. she would come up with something on the spot. she sighed out slowly, walking into the foyer and seeing mercy on a chair, not unlike a house cat. she politely bowed her head toward mercy before slowly smiling. “ah, yes, i could tell. you’re practically leaping for joy. be careful not to hurt your back.” she smiled even more and nodded. “i could do with a glass, of course, my thanks.” she wasn’t going to sit unless mercy told her to sit anyway. she had her manners. “are you one to talk? i don’t recall you visiting me either. i started thinking you were dead.” kass clenched her jaw and looked around the sitting room before glancing back at her. “you’re not my daughter, and i believe i’ve told you that a fair amount of times. nor are you my sire. now, mother figure, i can get behind that a bit. but if you call me mother or refer to yourself as my daughter, i promise your head will be sliced off that pretty neck of yours so fast that your eyes will barely function just enough to see the light of flame getting closer and closer until you’re set ablaze. and i’m not bluffing. your bannermen don’t scare me. so, you know. watch your mouth.” kass told her with a sweet smile. in truth, it was very heartwarming of mercy to think of herself as her daughter, but it was also too much at the same time. how she felt about mercy didn’t diminish. she wasn’t angry. but the threat had to be made, if not for kass’ own sake. “may i sit?”

“i’m practically dancing. can’t you see?” mercy’s head leaned back in her chair, trying to get full view of the vampire and straining her neck in the process. even upside down, there was no denying the poise and strength that resonated from kassandra. mercy loved it. the image of a young girl, frozen in time, but with the eyes of a wise sage, who seems to know exactly how the world works and how to twist it to her advantage. “but i am dead, darling. we both are,” mercy said, her lips curling into a smile and letting out a small giggle.

“You demean me, Mademoiselle Velazquez,” Gabriel purred, his hand still resting underneath his chin at Mercy’s words. She was a bit of a loose canon, Mercy was; Gabriel trusted her, with the expectation that at any moment, she would explode. Like a bomb waiting to be detonated. Perhaps that would come in handy…perhaps, he could use Mercy’s particular breed of ruthlessness and ambition to his own gain…

“Well, as you likely know, we’ve been working on repairing things with the faerie courts,” Gabriel mused, leaning back in his chair and gazing before him. “But still, the memory of what those rabid dogs and their pet humans got away with at the wedding reception haunts me. Things have been quiet in Candoris ever since the explosion at my wedding, and as I sit and stew with my thoughts, I find myself growing irate. Restless. Tell me, Mercy; what do you think of the boy king? I know your former lover seems to have a fondness for him.”

“I would never. I only suggest that you truly need no one but yourself, as I am always grateful and humbled to be apart of your Court.” Mercy paused for a beat, her eyes trailing away to look for something, someone. “Although I could never imagine you without Adrienne. So that is a bit of a hypocritical statement.” Hesitancy was never a quality that Mercy practiced, nor was it ever a quality that came about around her king. Words would spill out of her mouth before her brain would truly filter through them, but somehow it worked. Somehow her mind would string together words that deemed her clever, or mildly mad to others. It was never really her mouth that got her in trouble. No, somehow her mouth and mind had properly worked together to gain her access to power within the Court and, as much as Mercy would laze about and shirk her duties, she never took her position for granted. She had worked, and killed, too much for it. 

@mercyvelazquez

It had been a while since she had last seen Mercy, and to be honest she felt bad for not paying her the same attention as before. However with all the strange events that were happening, the war, the lost days everyone seemed to be experiencing…The baroness questioned if she was in any way ready, you know mentally or emotionally. Mercy was someone special for her anyway, a friend that was more like a sister, not to say Eleanor wasn’t a good one. 

By now though, they all shared one common pain, but seeing her almost sister-in-law growing stronger and moving on each day was far more pleasant. Even if she didn’t felt ready, Saphira concluded she had to meet her no matter what, at their best and at their worst, that’s what family and friends are for.

“Mercy? There you are!”

There was one reason for Mercy to keep extending her stay at the castle, even if that reason was not busy was war preparations and not around as much as Mercy would like, but the even the short trip back to her own estate seemed like a drag. The palace was somehow a big enough place for the layabout vampire to wander while avoiding everyone but somehow seemingly running into everyone at the same time. “Saphira! Mi hermosa muñeca." The slight surprise in her voice was masked by genuine happiness. It had been a long time since she had seen the brunette Dyatlov. For a selfish reason, but there was no love lost from Mercy for the girl. They were almost sisters.