Make Introductions the Right Way
I am a firm believer in intentional network-building. Strong networks help you, not only when it comes to job search time, but also for personal guidance, getting over the impostor syndrome, building confidence, and a whole host of other things. You do the work of network-building not when you need something, but months and even years before. Why? Because network-building is relationship-building, and relationship-building takes time and intentional work.
One great way to build your network is to ask someone to introduce you to someone else in their network, or for you to serve as that connector between people. And one thing I’ve learned over the years is that there is a right way and a wrong way, to make these sorts of introductions. Let’s look at some examples (I’m going to use myself and my colleague Megan in these examples, even though we already work together. Pretend we don’t know each other.).
First, let’s look at the wrong way. Sometimes I’m on the receiving end of an introduction that looks like this, with both myself and Megan copied on an email:
“Hi Allison, I’d like to introduce you to Megan, who is interested in talking to you about her career path and next steps. Thanks for taking the time to help her out!”
So, what’s wrong with this? First, this introduction has hit me cold, and now you have put me in the position of having to respond, without finding out, first, if I’m willing or even have the time to have this conversation. Which means I either look incredibly rude when I say no or (worse) ignore this, or I say yes and am left feeling very disrespected. On top of which, you are making me do most of the work, here. I don’t know who Megan is, I don’t know why I should talk to her, and I don’t know why I am the right person to talk to her.
Remember: network-building is relationship-building. Even if you are playing the part of connector, you are either building relationships or breaking them down. In this example, now I am predisposed to think less of the person being introduced (Megan), and I’m not a big fan of you, either.
Ok, then, what’s the right way? In this example, there are two parts. First, you reach out to me:
“Hi Allison, hope you’re doing well! I was so excited to see that you are leading a session in the Wake Women’s Week. I’ve grabbed my spot!
I’m also reaching out to see if you would be willing to talk to a friend of mine. Megan is a fellow Wake Forest alum, currently working in fundraising, who is looking to make a career pivot. She shares interests in mentoring and young professional development, and I think would benefit greatly from hearing about your path and any advice you might offer. Would you be willing to talk to her? If so, I will make an introduction. Thanks so much for considering!”
What do you see here? First, you’ve made a connection to me and something that’s important to me, and made it clear that you’re not just asking something of me, you’re also giving something to me. While that’s not critical, it’s certainly a nice touch. Second, you have given me the information that I need: why you are reaching out, what I need to know about Megan, why you think I would be a good connection for her. And, third, you have offered to do the work of making the introduction. All of this makes me so much more inclined to say “yes.” But, if I have to say no, due to time commitments or other reasons, you allow me to do so just to you, which prevents me from coming off like a jerk and also saves you from looking like a jerk to your contact, Megan, as well.
Ok, but let’s imagine I say “yes.” Then there is a second part, which is the actual introduction, where both Megan and I are copied:
“Hi Megan, by way of this email I would like to introduce you to my good friend and colleague Allison. Allison is the assistant vice president for mentoring and alumni personal and career development here at Wake Forest, a Wake Forest alumna, and has 25 years of experience in higher education, mentoring, and young professional development. I reached out to her and asked if she would be willing to talk to you about your path and next steps, and of course she said yes.
 Allison, as I mentioned, Megan is looking to pivot from her current fundraising role into something more aligned with mentoring and young professional development. She’s got great experience and a passion for growth and development, and I know will benefit tremendously from any advice you can offer to her as she identifies her next steps.
Megan, please reach out to Allison to find a time that works for both of you. You might also attach your resume so that she has a bit more information about you. Thanks, and thanks again Allison!”
Again, what do you see? You have given both Megan and me the background on what each knows about the other and the reason for the meeting. You have linked to our LinkedIn profiles for some additional information, and not made either one of us have to do that extra work. And you’ve provided guidance on next steps: Megan should send the next email to arrange a time to meet and send along a resume.
Around now you’re probably thinking, yeah, that seems like a lot of work. Does it? It should. You’re building relationships with two people here – me and Megan – and that can only benefit you, in the long-run. Network-building is relationship-building. If you don’t want to do the work, then don’t offer to make the introduction. At the very least, don’t offer to make the introduction to me, if you’re going to do it the wrong way. If you do, chances are the response you will get is a firm “no.”