This fiiiiine ass man with this smooooth ass Southern accent came into my place of work today and scheduled an appointment with me. He was so polite when I nervous rambled my explanation of services. And he had the prettiest eyes. And he was soo Alabama, I fear, right down to the toothpick he kept rolling around in his mouth.

Strangely uncharacteristic and concerningly intense craving for jello cake?? hello??

Please never offer me a spring water. I beg you kindly.

The NBA official store will mail you the most expensive top you've ever bought in a bag it doesn't even require scissors to open

Did I get home around the same time I do on a full day even though it was a half day? Yes. But did I gather all the ingredients and tools necessary to get a batch of lemoncillo steeping by tonight? Also yes.

Did I get home around the same time I do on a full day even though it was a half day? Yes. But did I gather all the ingredients and tools necessary to get a batch of lemoncillo steeping by tonight? Also yes.

this whole not drinking thing really makes me want a cigar

justice for my man he was too silly for this world

they're pissing me off at the pissing me off factory whodda thunk

wishing i had a partner i could call on my drive home and complain about mundane things like how annoying my work day was but i'm sorry yall i will continue to broadcast on this blog until that time maybe comes lmao

what do you mean $35 usd for one lip liner pencil what do you mean

My nipples are going to be braless at aldi this summer. Out and about. And this is not an apology, but rather a service announcement. I can be bothered no longer. It stops at 28, the being bothered.