Hi! I'm having a bad time!
Oh man, this is gonna be a big ol' pity party, be warned, babies.
I did everything I was supposed to. I went to college (albeit much later than most), got a degree, went to work, paid my taxes, etc. I've had plenty of years of unemployment, some due to layoffs, some due to me being a piece of shit. I don't mind admitting that because it's part of what has made me who I am today: not a total piece of shit.
I was laid off in February 2023. I won't bore you with the LinkedIn rhetoric I hate so fucking much (i've applied this many times, to this many places!) because it really doesn't matter. It's a whole fuckin' lot, and not much has come from it. And before you ask, yes, I've tailored my resume to each job, written cover letters, followed up, all that good shit. Please know that last part wasn't supposed to be shitty, I've just been asked a lot. I appreciate you.
I've spent hours on projects and presentations, only to be ghosted. I've been told my interview was great, and I was their number one choice, but things are on hold. I've been told, honestly by a handful of recruiters, that while this is an interview, the job isn't available yet and the company is just farming resumes. The latest of all this fun, was a company I interviewed with over the summer reached out last month wanting to bring me in for realsies. All was good, then nothing. Not a word since mid-November. Like, is this just a fucking game to people? This is my fucking life! I'm so angry. So, so angry.
40 years in this shithole, and nothing to show for it.
Jumping around a bit here, so I'm sorry. In November 2019, I started having back pain that, I thought, was sciatica. In July 2021, I finally broke down and went to the doctor. I was having muscle spasms, intense lower back and leg pain, and I'd lost some feeling in my leg and foot. While the initial doctor I saw was great, she couldn't do much, and told me I needed a specialist. After YEARS of being dicked around, ignored, or had my pain minimized, I finally found a doctor that helped me. That was last December, and thanks to her, I was finally able to have spinal surgery last Thursday.
It's been a painful, trying five years, but there's an end in sight.
Still a ton of pain, but I can feel my foot, and that fucking rules! I hate that I can't pick up my cats, but other than that, things are looking up on that front. Also, I apparently fist bumped a comment about my surgery prep in the OR, and it got a good laugh.
Idk what all this was. I think I just needed to vent. On a positive note, I'm still alive in my guillotine and graveyard leagues, and I've made the playoffs in four of my six traditional fantasy football leagues. So that's pretty cool.
if you're having a rough time, I'm sorry and I love you.
pixelskylines
2087
titsay
jbbartram-illu
vaporwave
