we, of course, came from hell

This was prompted by me and my boyfriend discussing handedness and being able to tell apart left and right. And me, being ambidextrous, was baffled by how do people with an obligate dominant hand mix up which side is the one with their Writing Hand and which one isn't?? And my boyfriend pointed out that I go "turn left - no I mean right" so much when giving directions that I have lost my navigator privileges.

I argued that mixing up the words isn't the same thing as mixing up the directions. Like if your mom accidentally called you the dog's name doesn't mean that she literally can't tell you apart from the dog. And he looked at me like this

lately i've been motivating myself to do things by repeating the mantra we feel alive by doing things and i think it has fixed a big part of my brain.

i tell myself we feel alive by doing things and then i groan and do the thing. and lo and behold i do in fact feel alive. even if i don't like the particular thing i am doing at all.

and because i have attributed the feeling—literally just alive, the most basic possible first building block of any other iota of potential—directly, clearly, and out loud, over and over and over again—to the simple act of doing things, something, anything at all, and then reinforced with, again, the feeling of alive, every single time— i seem to have rewired my brain in a very pavlovian way.

i am a rat in a cage smashing on the lever of "doing literally anything" to get high on the spark of life within myself.

https://www.vaticannews.va/en/vatican-city/news/2026-07/holy-see-decrees-excommunication-lefebrians-consecrations.html

Hilariously I asked my mom if she'd heard and she was like "oh yeah they have a beautiful church in Kansas but they don't believe in the pope. How can you not believe in the pope?"

SIR YESSIRRRRRR!!!!