(Not) Mega

HOW WE DOIN’ HOOT HOUSE

A lot happened in the finale but this was honestly my favorite part willows a queen 🍃.

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when hunter creates a penstagram account and immediately changes his username to “Hunter543221” and his profile pic is just like the default image that u have when you don’t. chose a pfp. so when he comes into willow’s dms like “hi” she’s 99% convinced that he is an actual murderer

it takes a lot of messages (that hunter types incredibly slowly btw) to make willow believe that Yes it’s actually me captain and No i’m not lying to you And yes i remember kidnapping you is that good enough proof No i’m not here to do it again

(hunter finds amity’s account somehow, and spends like a good 6 minutes scrolling through her entire profile and just disliking every post he sees n he thinks it’s the funniest thing)

willow tries to get him to message any of the other team, but when hunter goes to do so he ends up typing for like a full hour and never sending anything because he’s Stressed Ok he doesn’t know how to communicate on this scroll thing. so willow becomes his texting buddy

at first it’s like incredibly awkward… they have like the Forced “hello how are you” “i’m good. you?” “how’s the weather over there” “…not raining blood? hunter look out a window” conversations until they finally, finally get comfortable enough with each other to have proper conversations

willow tries to teach hunter texting lingo. like. LOL and LMFAO and IDK and btw and he doesn’t understand a single thing. he types out “hahahahah” because he doesn’t know how to reach the emojis on his keyboard and when willow sent him a keyboard smash for the first time he was genuinely distressed she like fell or something

WILLOW: GWOWVKWVWLWVWKVW

HUNTER: what is That

WILLOW: a keyboard smash, hunter, it means i’m laughing. it means you’re funny

HUNTER: couldn’t you just say i’m funny?

WILLOW: you have much to learn

when hunter learns how to take pictures 90% of his messages to willow just turn into images of flapjack from different angles at a time or like. sneak pictures of belos when he isn’t looking

they both don’t sleep when they’re supposed to, and they both get the existential crisis thoughts when it’s very late and they should not be awake so like when hunter messages willow at crack ass at night if he’s a real person willow responds with hell if i know dude

willow sends hunter a meme(that she only rlly knows of bc of luz) for the first time and he’s like ?.?:??:?:

HUNTER: who is “that boy”

WILLOW: hunter it’s a meme. it’s an outdated one idk why i even sent you that

HUNTER: what’s a meme.. who is that boy. why are we calling him “that boy”? as if i’m supposed to know who he is?? is he notorious for being a boy?????????? is this a boy that everyone knows??? willow please will

WILLOW: oh good LORD

willow starts posting out of context screenshots of her conversations with hunter on her penstagram account because of the absolute outlandish things this man says and 90% of the comments are lumity being like WHY are you still hanging around with him

WILLOW, messaging hunter after being spammed with notifications to not hang out with him: luz and amity say you’re a danger to my safety

HUNTER; depends

WILLOW: what does That mean

HUNTER: i’m a danger to my own safety most of the time

HUNTER: so it depends.

WILLOW: i’m gonna tell them you’re Not..

hunter doesn’t ever post anything usually but when he does post things it’s just very blurry pictures of either himself or his surroundings and every time his caption is “i didn’t mean to post that” and it becomes such a continuous thing that nobody even knows if he’s being serious or not

hunter messages willow every morning at 6AM “good morning sunshine!!” and willow blocked him for like a full hour when he did that once and he, not knowing what being blocked was, was so distressed bc he thought he might’ve accidentally broken the scroll that he went to darius in tears

HUNTER, sobbing: DARIUS

DARIUS, cradling a mug like it’s his last saving grace: Please stay Away from me

HUNTER: i BROKE THE SCROLL

DARIUS: you have had it for a few Days

willow, afterward gets a very long paragraph full of passive aggression from darius . she did not even know he had a penstagram account

luz is determined to befriend him so she constantly dms him and tries to start conversations with him. the most she gets is like a “hunter is typing” for a good 7 minutes but she never gets a response

their conversations (when hunter does respond) usually go like this:

LUZ: hey hunter

HUNTER: yes

LUZ: BAZINGA

HUNTER: what

hunter finds emoticons and starts using things like :) and ^^ and :0 and :P willow is very endeared to it until he starts posting blurry ominous pictures and captioning it with XD and nothing els e

WILLOW: hunter Please stop misusing emoticons

HUNTER: what do you mean XD

WILLOW: STOP

hunter deactivated his penstagram when people start spamming his comments to spill the secrets about belos. and then immediately makes a second one the next day but with “Hunter19207”

WILLOW: you aren’t doing a very good job of being discreet…

HUNTER: they started asking me questions about belos i’m not able to disclose

WILLOW: the robotic way you said that phrase will forever concern me

HUNTER: a lot of people have had to sign a lot of legal documents

WILLOW: HELLO??????

darius messages hunter once on penstagram and it’s just a link to an article abt sewing tips and hunters so emotional about it that he does not respond to the text for  2 hours n just lays in bed and cries

he sends willow pictures of his sewing progression. willow is aggressively supportive and in turn sends him pictures of her working out which he is incredibly threatened and in awe of

HUNTER: how strong are you. like. physically

WILLOW: i could wring you up like a wet towel

HUNTER: oh

HUNTER: do you want another picture of flapjack?

WILLOW: yes

hunter and amity send each other messages once. they’re respectively: “hunter.” “Amity.” and nothing else

gus is the first to initiate contact with hunter, because hunter is kind of like terrified of him, but it just sort of turns into gus always messaging him to check in on willow ??? and hunter’s like ?? why don’t you just talk to her yourself?? completely not understanding that it’s just gus using it as an excuse to talk to him

GUS: how is willow. is she still alive

HUNTER: last time i heard from her she was

GUS: good.

GUS: how are you

HUNTER: good

GUS: ok.

HUNTER: Ok?????

he ends up coming to willow, texting her about how gus keeps texting him to ask if she’s ok and he’s distressed that he ruined everything and she, having to explain the concept of friendship to him for the first time is like Boy just talk to him normally

the three of them end up creating a groupchat together and immediately gus is aggressively friendly. he starts calling hunter stuff like squishable and bitable and hunter, in response, calls gus by his full Government name and nothing else

GUS: HUNTER MY SCRIBBLEY SKRUNK

HUNTER: Gus.

GUS: :)

HUNTER: :/

hunter ends up just coming to willow and gus whenever belos does some shit, and one time he asks them; is it normal to be threatened to be replaced by a family member if you don’t preform well 100% and willow and gus r like ?? FUCK NO???

gus and willow become his protection squad and gus posts a black screen picture with a very long caption detailing how he’s going to beat up belos and hunter in the comments goes DELETES THIS HE WILL SQUISH YOU LIKE AN ANT

GUS: i fear no god

HUNTER: do Not make me delete my account again i’m running out of different numbers

WILLOW; just don’t put ?? numbers in ur username then??

HUNTER: no.