Constantly Tired

This seems counterproductive to your goals, how are you going to get ice cream if there is no earth? Are you an idiot stupid of sorts?

*patiently waits for the free serotonin boost that is the month of october*

Everyone on tumblr has Conditions. maladies. I log onto tumblr and my mutuals are unwellposting. Conditions I didn't even know existed and sound like dark curses but I will see a post from friend like "died about 60% today, fine now. Made egg on toast #yummytoast". There are so many people in this world with life experiences

There is no drug on earth that can replicate the absolute euphoria of hitting a writing flow state at 2:00 AM. You aren’t even typing anymore. You are a vessel. You are a channel for the gods. The characters are speaking directly into your brain and you’re just the stenographer trying to keep up. You feel like you could fight a bear. You feel like you invented the alphabet

White people be like: I have to take my french bulldog to the chiropractor

Domming a guy i hate and convincing him good puppies like to be named Hubert then getting his name legally changed to Hubert then ghosting him

anyone wearing the camera glasses should be forced to eat them

(no beers in) So how do you perceive me in the privacy of your thoughts

Does the rest of this website live in some alternate reality where you never set foot in a kitchen until age 25?

No, but were you making SOCIAL MEDIA posts about a potato masher when you were 16????

Once Oscar Wilde, coming down to lunch, was asked how he had spent his morning. "I was hard at work," he said. "Oh?" he was asked. "Did you accomplish much?" "Yes indeed," said Wilde. "I inserted a comma." At dinner, he was asked how he had spent his afternoon. "More work," he said. "Inserted another comma?" was the rather sardonic question. "No, said Wilde, unperturbed. "I removed the one I had inserted in the morning."