I see my flowers beautifully, harmlessly
Extending themselves toward the light.
I see their poverty or prosperity
According to the weather
And the care I give them;
I show them imperfect love.
Inertia has overcome me
More times than I care to acknowledge.
I see men's grand monuments,
And the far-surpassing
Majesty and variety of Your nature.
There has been hardship for a very long time,
Many lifespans of little humans;
You have lived and died with each of us.
You know how to make us happy,
And we think we want to be,
But we work against ourselves.
We are tiny usurpers of our own hearts,
The only tribute we have to offer
The God of Everything,
Who has all and needs none--
Even our souls were founded in You.
Yet we each have had our eyes plucked
By the ravens of the Deceiver,
Our minds clouded,
Turned against You by lies.
Striving from the outside in,
Whether or not we knew it,
We became control freaks,
Situating everything to our liking
To the best of our ability.
We found ways to get comfortable
On thrones that we knew had to
Be commandeered for us to survive.
We still have no idea how to manage ourselves.
We have despised the sacrificial Love,
Confusing it for weakness.
We climb ladders,
Store up savings,
Get therapy,
Read books,
Focus our breathing,
Work out,
Posture ourselves,
Visit pleasant and beautiful places,
Try to live in them if possible,
Cut out toxic or inconvenient people,
Even throwing them away
For the sake of living our best life.
Or maybe we behave codependently;
Convinced that another person is our answer,
We lay ourselves out flat like a rug
To be trodden on by our elect.
Perhaps we try to make a difference,
To feel better about the overwhelmingly
Hopeless state of the world,
To abate the gnawing guilt of inadequacy
With philanthropic endeavors.
We categorize ourselves,
Deeming some better than us, or vice versa,
According to inconsistent standards.
We recreate things that we have enjoyed.
We try to forget the suffering and toil,
But all the while it remains.
Those who have "made it"
Rest their feet on the backs
Of those who haven't.
I'm glad to know that not all
Who experience prosperity
Find themselves priveleged
At the expense of their consciences.
Some, maybe even many,
Have turned to You and enjoyed
The benefits of their willful abdication.
Interested in nothing other than
Complete and utter surrender,
O jealous Flame,
You are impervious to the
Systems set in place on earth.
You observe each of us
And sovereignly bless who You will,
Righteous and wicked alike,
For Your own purposes.
I have no objection to Your care and provision.
I know my low stature,
Know that everything falls apart
When I try to take the bull by the horns.
I am nothing--worse than nothing--
Apart from You.
Dust is all there is
In the hell of separation.
The gash of the Great Divorce
Is an ever widening chasm,
But one glance in Your direction
Stirs the winds of favor and bliss.
They smack me full in the face
Like the massive wave hiding behind
The smaller one I saw coming.
Leaves me reeling,
A puddle on the floor.
At the point of impact, I'm grateful
For how inaffected You are
By messiness.
You know what matters and what doesn't;
You have perfect advice for everything--
Absolutely everything!
Genius of geniuses,
May I never underestimate
Even the tiniest inkling of Your heart.
Oh, how I have vascillated,
At times thanking You for my sensitivity
Even asking You for more;
At other times longing for
The simplicity of being duller;
Not mentally duller,
But someone who takes little notice of
All the pretty or devilish little details
That have hung me up at the drop of a pin.
Wisdom,
You are the loveliest being eyes can behold.
Your precepts bring gladness;
Your motives tenderize my heart of stone;
Your Word soothes my pulverized soul;
You are comfort and rest from the war country.
You've forged in me a restricted domain
Where none may enter except You.
You have guarded not only my heart but my steps;
You lead me into secret pathways of delight
And my babbling soul skips in time
To the tune of the Spring you sprung
When I said yes to You.
