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@mchases-blog
F#*k It! (Explicit Language)
Fuck fear. Fuck hate. Fuck anything that was bred to stand in our way. I am not afraid to admit that I don’t feel like a good person, because I don’t need the validation that I am. I live what I live and that is all I can do. I love myself, even when it feels easier to find things to loathe. And, it doesn’t get any easier. That’s alright though, because when shit get’s hard. Fuck it.
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upper hands and low blows
Wow...it's been four months since he left me, and I'm still dwelling on whatever it is that we were. I've always judged close friends for holding onto those who don't want to be held, but here I am, being the fool I've always spoken so strongly against. Well, you live and learn, I guess.
The bad thing about the whole situation is: he's a great guy. Nobody could ask for a more perfect person to be with, but just like most people these days, once the new is gone, it's old. I grew old to him. I associated me not being good enough with a simple fact: everyone is becoming everyone.
And it feels like the older we get, the more people get tired of living, being happy or giving themselves credit. So, we all get pissed off, and take it out on each other. Looks like that's something we're all going to have to get used to.
the chase
I never expected anything to be easy, but I never expected it to be so hard either. Â Maybe, it's my current lack of motivation, due to the overwhelming presence the "scene" has here, or confusion that has kept me held at this place--stuck in idle. Hell, maybe, I'm just intimidated. Of course, I always have been, but it's too late, I'm already here. Might as well, accept it and do something. I refuse to fall behind anymore.
 We get these dreams in our head growing up, that eventually sink to our stomach and become an ache. The longer we pretend it's not there, the more the pain hinders the life we should be living.  Before now, I had spent the last ten years of my life chasing others, instead of finding out who I really am. So regardless of how cruel "the industry" is or how nerve-wracking it all becomes, I'll always remember that this is for me. Nothing and no one else. When I look back on my life, I don't want to regret: loving someone who never loved me, being someone I had pretended to be, believing someone who thought they knew the person that I am. There are billions of people in the world, but only one you. Be you.