My Godly Memes

god's weakest soldier is scrolling tumblr instead of being productive or participating in any of their hobbies

hold on i have to do everything

sorry i never replied. everyday is blending together and im losing sense of time

Tactical reloading of things that don’t need tactical reloads

I lost it at the toaster and couldn't make it past the smoke detector before reblogging

This is so satisfying to watch—

u survive literally every single event in your life & still every time a new event happens you feel like this is the event that will kill you and that you will never move on from but actually you will continue to survive like you always have bc u have a 100% win rate of surviving events. btw

ahhhh finally the weekend is beautiful and wide open ahead of me. surely this will be the weekend I finally get my whole life in order and do the twenty-seven things I've been putting off and fix my sleep schedule and make memories with friends and discover my purpose in this world. surely

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

I love tumblr 😭🫶🏻 #sowholesome #plsletmeworkinagardencenter

If life is a never ending loop of dirty dishes and laundry then that means life is a never ending loop of home cooked meals and comfy clean clothes