remus lupin.

“Because-” Regulus stopped himself, shaking his head a bit. “Normal siblings are probably different. Our family… isn’t normal,” which was a fact he frequently had to tell himself. “Sirius and I… haven’t always gotten on.” 

Remus frowned. “My family isn’t exactly normal either, maybe not in the same way but,” He sighed, shaking his head. “But you can change that, you know that right? Just because you don’t always agree doesn’t mean you won’t be there for each other when you need it.”

“I am Lily Evans, not people.” She reminded him. A small laugh slipped past her lips at his next words, nodding her head in confirmation. Him and Stu were worst but in an absolutely endearing way. “There you go. Honestly I regret not having my muggle camera to shoot the whole thing on film. I’m glad you two sorted it out and are finally happy, one more day of your pining and I wouldn’t be able to take it anymore.” Lily quipped before her smile faded and was replaced by a small frown. “What – No, Remus, don’t think that. I don’t believe anything could scare Stu off, given how much he adores you.”

“Well yes, but how long did it take me to open up to you in the past, Lily Evans? You should be used to this by now,” He mused, shaking his head. “I’m glad you didn’t record it, you and Mary aren’t going to let me live it down without having evidence, I don’t want to think what you’d do if you had it.” Remus rolled his eyes fondly, “I was not pining. Okay, maybe I was.” He huffed out a laugh, before letting out a sigh. “Really, Lils? I mean you, James, Sirius and Peter all took it far too well. I’m just waiting for the person that finds out and doesn’t take it well. I just don’t want that to be Stu, because it’ll break my heart.”

Remus was not moping. Or at least, he was trying not too. What had possessed him to tell Sturgis everything right now --- he would not understand. Remus rubbed at his temples, before swigging from the bottle he held in his other hand. He knew it was a bad idea to get into another relationship without telling the other the truth about what he was, but he did it anyway. 

Spotting a familiar redhead, Remus took another swig from the bottle - plastering a grin onto his lips. “Well if it isn’t the maid of honour,” He teased, “Enjoying the festivities?” 

WARDROBE

The wedding had been beautiful. Well, from what he saw, it had been beautiful. Frankly, he spent more time looking at his boyfriend than at what was happening. To his defense, he hadn’t seen Remus in a very long time, and he missed him more than he let on. Except as he stared at him, he started realizing something was… off. He was smiling, sure, but he felt… almost fake, forced. A small frown appeared on his face, but he quickly covered it back with a smile. This wasn’t the time to look concerned when his best friend was getting married.

But as they moved to the Great Hall for the reception, Sturgis couldn’t help the small frown that settled back on his face. He still tried to let a genuine smile slip on his lips as he headed towards his boyfriend. “Hey, stranger.” He said, letting his arms wrap around the other’s waist once he reached him. They hadn’t been able to talk during the reception, and he was well intent on making up for it now. And figuring out why he looked somewhat sad just earlier. “Haven’t seen you in so long. How have you been?”

( @mccnyrcmus​ )

Remus felt guilty that he wasn’t happier. It was his best friend’s wedding, and the smile on his face was far too forced. Not that he could help it, he genuinely was happy for Sirius and Mary -- but the loss of his mother was still far too fresh. Still, Remus hoped the more he forced his smile, the more genuine it would become. Clearly, that wasn’t the case.

The moment they’d made it to the reception, Remus had grabbed a beer. He didn’t usually drink, but he hoped it would help. As he sipped it, Remus’ noticed his boyfriend walking towards him. Usually, the sight of Stu would bring a smile to his lips -- but the sight of his boyfriend just made Remus feel guiltier. His conversation with Peter rung in his brain. He hated lying to Sturgis. “Hey,” Remus smiled weakly at the other, pulling the bottle away and setting it on a table as he hesitantly wrapped his arms the other boy, burying his face in his shoulder as he let out a heavy sigh. “I-” Remus didn’t know how to respond. He wanted nothing more than to fake another smile, and tell the other everything was fine. He couldn’t lie to Stu again, it wasn’t fair on the other. “Not great,” He admitted, pulling his head away from the others shoulder. He bit down on his lip as his gaze met the others. “But it’s my best friends wedding, so it doesn’t matter. How have you been?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Of course you have to bring us a wedding present.” Sirius huffed and folded his arms over his chest. “Well, especially me even if Mary doesn’t want it. So, where is it?” 

A half amused smile tugged at his lips as he shook his head, making his way over to his best friend. “Trust me, it’ll be easier if you do what he says.” He told the other, watching as they left before turning back to Sirius. “I already gave mine to Mary, so don’t even try.”

“I know that.” Regulus confirmed, shrugging. “But it’s not that simple.” He wanted to trust Sirius with everything, he really did… but there was always something inside telling him not to do it.

“Why?” Remus asked the other, brows furrowing together. “Forgive me for not really knowing, but I don’t exactly have siblings. James, Sirius and Peter are the closest thing I have.”

Peter groaned softly in response, the sound muffled by the mattress beneath him. One and a half years into choosing Defense Against the Dark Arts, and he still wasn’t even sure why he bothered. “I know, Moony. I know.” He’d never ask his friend for that help, though, and he knew it. It felt pathetic, trying to match up to his friends in that class. “Nah. I think I like your boyfriend more than you,” he teased, moving to sit up on his bed. “So it’s official now? Because I’m having a hard time keeping this from James and Sirius.”

“Yeah, and you’re never gonna ask,” Remus retorted, shaking his head. “I like studying, remember? You’d be doing me a favour.” He tried to reason, hoping that would somewhat change the other’s mind. At the other’s teasing, Remus let out a laugh - his cheeks flushing as the smile on his face grew wider. “Yeah, he’s great,” He murmured softly. “Oh, yeah definitely official now.  No more keeping secrets. I’m still waiting for the ribbing they’ll undoubtedly give me.” Remus pulled a face. “I was just --- hestiant about actually starting things with him. I like him a lot, Pete, and --- he still doens’t know. About my uh, condition.” 

Peter couldn’t believe it when he’d heard–Remus’s mom was dead. Even after hours crying, trying to console his friend, being at her goddamn funeral, it didn’t feel real. He wiped a few stray tears away, almost expecting for Mrs. Lupin to come around the corner. Remus and his father didn’t deserve this heartbreak. His eyes glanced around the crowd as it started to dissipate, spotting a whole slew of familiar faces. However, there was one face he’d have expected to be close to Remus who was oddly missing from the event. Stu was dating Remus; shouldn’t this have been a priority for him? His eyes narrowed in confusion as he walked toward his friend.

“–Moony, did your boyfriend just not show up?” There was a tension, a slight twinge of anger to his voice that he hadn’t heard in a long time, and all for the sake of his friend. Stu was great in his book, but missing this funeral was a shit move.

@mccnyrcmus​

Remus was besides himself. Just because he’d known it was coming, had not made it any easier. His hands were trembling, face streaked with tear stains. His own father wouldn’t even look him in the eye, not that Remus had expected as much. He’d only told the other marauders and Lily, he’d already mentioned she was sick, and they’d actually met the woman. He’d thought about inviting Stu, craving the comfort of his boyfriend but he didn’t want to upset the other. Not wanting him to have to attend another funeral so soon after Imogen’s.

He’d almost hoped no one had noticed the other’s missing presence, but clearly, that wasn’t the case with Peter. He startled as the other spoke, hastily wiping away at his tears as he shook his had. “What- no. Stu wouldn’t do that. I--” Remus flinched, head hanging in shame. “I didn’t invite him, He doesn’t know.” He mumbled, words barely audiable.

Regulus let out a bit of a sigh, rubbing his face for a moment, before returning his hand to his lap to pet his cat. “You’re closer to him than I am.” He said first, “It’s easier for you.” He didn’t tell Sirius everything, and Sirius didn’t tell him everything. That always seemed to be how they worked. 

“I suppose so,” Remus frowned. “But that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t be there for you if you needed it. You know that right?”

“And I’m a little ashamed of that now.” He replied, trying to lighten up, but he could only bite on his lower lip as he noticed the actual mess he’d left his dorm in. If he’d known Remus would be coming over later, he definitely would’ve made an effort. “I’m not, I’m just…” He started before letting out a sigh, looking at Remus. “Alright, maybe I am a little. But you have no idea how hard it is to find a good gift.”

“You have nothing to be ashamed about, but if you see me in here tidying, that’s not my fault,” He teased lightly. Remus’ eyes were drawn to the other’s lips as he bit down on them, the memory of the kiss they’d not mentioned flashing through his mind. “Stu, the fact you even got me something, means a lot.” Remus smiled softly at the other, before reaching for the box, unwrapping it. His eyes lit up at the sight of the journal, cheeks colouring at how thoughtful it was. “This- I love it, thank you,” Remus told him sincerely, his gaze flickering up to the other -- the urge to kiss him coming back. Remus set the gift down on the side, taking a deep breath as he took a step closer to the other, one hand lifting to the other’s face - his thumb brushing against the other’s cheek. “I-I really want to kiss you right now,” Remus admitted, voice barely a whisper.

Sturgis chewed on the inside of his cheeks as Remus spoke. Somehow, he was starting to feel like he might just never know what the other was hiding, but he wanted to believe what he was saying. So he didn’t say anything when the other was done speaking, only glancing away for a moment. He tried his best to put that thought aside as he kissed the other, a smile stretching on his lips. And as the other explained, it only increased. “Are you kidding me? I’ve been wanting to say it, I was just… I thought I’d scare you away if I did.” He said. “I love you, Remus Lupin.” The words left his mouth softly, and he quickly pressed a kiss on the other’s lips before leaning his head on his shoulder. “I have for a long time now.” He added in a whisper.

Remus knew he needed to tell him at some point, but he desperately didn’t want to lose what they had. He’d fallen harder for Sturgis than he’d ever thought he would, and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to cope if the other hated him for what he was. “You did?” Remus’ lips curved into a wide smile and he shook his head, “Nothing you could do would ever scare me away, Stu.” He murmured, his smile growing even wider at the others words. I love you, Remus Lupin. Remus’ heart fluttered, his own head leaning against the other’s, a hum of content leaving his lips. “Really?” He whispered, brows furrowing together. “I think I have too, I was just too stubborn to actually realise it.” Remus admitted quietly, knowing that’s exactly what had happened. He’d tried to deny his feelings for Stu, until they were almost impossible to ignore. He wished he’d actually admitted them much sooner.

Regulus felt even more relief as Remus agreed not to tell anyone, and he nodded a little bit, relaxing in the chair. “I know, I know… I’ll tell him at some point,” he said first. “Soon.” He quickly added on after, even though he had no intention of telling Sirius any time soon. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Sirius to keep it secret - but the less people who knew, the less it could spread back to their parents.

Remus looked at the other, unsure as to whether he’d actually do what he said. “I’m just saying. He’d probably understand better than most Regulus, but if you want to talk about it, I’m here.”

“You don’t have to feel bad, Remy.” She giggled, bumping her shoulder against his. “We broke up a long time ago, you’re allowed to be happy–and I’m happy for you, love.” With a wide smile still on her face, she turned a bit to look out the window. “Remember how I used to tell you I had visions as a kid? I had a few since Valentine’s day.”

“You know me, always do,” Remus mumbled sheepishly, but at her words, a smile tugged at his lips. “Thanks, Kalli. It means a lot.” His gaze followed hers, and he frowned. “You have? What were they about?”

Regulus let out a breath, but the stress on his face didn’t go away. He slowly sat down on one of the chairs, not wanting Nyx to try and jump and run again… but he couldn’t stay standing for this conversation. He believed Remus when he said he wouldn’t say anything, but the fact that someone knew was a lot to take in. “Can you not tell Sirius?” He asked after a pause, finally looking up at him again. 

Remus cautiously watched the other, a frown growing on his lips as the other told him not to tell Sirius. He didn’t like the idea of keeping secrets from someone that was practically family to him, but this wasn’t his secret to tell. “Okay. You should talk to him, though. If anyone understands, it’s him.” Remus said simply, shrugging his shoulders.