Maysilee 🌸

he cannot communicate his needs at all, so he keeps living for others, but it’s not because he wants to meet their expectations or construct a facade (looking at mike here), but because he was parentified so early, he never had a chance to learn what he wants because he needed to care for his mom and younger brother from an early age. so he finds his purpose in sacrificing himself for others. jonathan is passive and selfless and that's his biggest problem.

and of course it makes sense that he turns to drugs to avoid thinking about his crumbling relationship and his NYU dream dead, because he learned this coping mechanism, when he was a kid and his parents argued a lot, so when it got ugly he would put on loud music to dissociate from what was happening at home. again, jonathan's defense mechanisms are rooted in passiveness, avoidance, and dissociation.

jonathan's character is so beautifully constructed, the groundwork is all there, and honestly i love that he broke up with nancy and went to NYU to make his niche arthouse horror film in the fake-ass finale, but I would really love to see more to his arc. because it's still not clear what exactly jonathan desires, who he will become when he stops being an observer and takes action, especially if that action is purely selfish for the first time in his life