SERENDIPITY

For the first time, I think that I am not enough for him. I think that his family will not like me if they ever get to meet me which I am not even sure if it will happen.

I am worried that I wouldnt be able to live up to the life he is used to. His lifestyle is different, his family is different and everything about him and me is different.

I am seriously considering working abroad and just trying to be better for him. I want the best for him. I wanna be my very best so he can be proud of me, so I can live up to the life he is used to. I know I am not supposed to, but I just want to make sure that he's not gonna regret choosing me.

I am overthinking again.

I think that I am not good for him. I think that I am not the best for him. I think that he doesn't deserve me, and deserve so much more than me.

It's his birthday yesterday and I am not really sure what to give him, so i decided to buy him a musicbox with the song La Vie En Rose, this is his reaction when he listened to it.

I got the whole thing on a video, and I am just so fucking happy that this person right here isn't hard to please. He is genuinely happy with the gift I gave him, and he made sure I know it.

My Jet,

I know I am not the best person in the world, and I am not the most patient but thank you for finding ways to make me feel like I am the best you've ever had. I know it is too early to say it, but you are by far the only person that made me feel this way. My cravings for you is beyond my control. I need you and miss you when I am not supposed to. But still, thank you for sticking and choosing to stay.

Don't you dare get tired of me, okay?

Today we went out on a movie x massage date because I told him that I've had a very long and stressful week. Before we had dinner, I had some problems I had to deal with and made me feel very angry and stressed again. So before he head home, he said “Pag stress ka pa ulit bukas, itetreat ulit kita ng massage. ʼWag ka na mastress, ha?”

Bunny, you don't even need to try. I am falling for you, and I am falling fast, and I am falling hard.

Thank you for today.

Thank you for making me feel happy.

Thank you for showing that you are the one that I deserve.

Thank you for existing.

First video call last night, and look at this guy. Looking at me as if I am the most beautiful girl alive. Stunned lang siya almost the entire time, just watching me as I browse through 9gag and laugh at all these memes.

Hayyy. When did I ever get so lucky?

You are my happiness.

Paano mo ba malalaman kapag ʼyong isang taong dinedate mo eh siya na ang para sayo? Sabi nila, malalaman mo daw na ʼyan na ʼyon pag nandiyan na. Pag andiyan na siya, masasabi mo na lang na “ito na iyon.”

Kanina, habang kasama ko siya nakatitig lang ako sa kanya habang magkayakap kami at nakatitig lang din siya sakin.. May ibang pakiramdam akong nararamdaman. Ibang klaseng kasiyahan. Nakakatakot na klase. Tipo na matatakot kang mawala. Ito ʼyong klase na sana laging nandyan. Kanina, naramdaman ko ʼyon at ang nasabi ko lang sa sarili ko — “Ito na 'yon. Nahanap ko na siya.”