Maybe Lets

This blog is now inactive. Thanks for the good times, and fun asks, but Tumblr doesn’t seem like it will be the right community for me once these changes go into effect.

I think you can not want to be with a brat while still understanding their need for convincing and belief in your dominance. 

Personally I don’t like brats. I like littles that are good, and strive to be good. I prefer littles that don’t act out for attention, or need punishment. I have plenty of punishments to dole out, but if someone is into spanking for instance, I’d rather be able to give them that without necessitating them screwing up. I find that totally backwards. 

Brats are valid littles, fully. And there are plenty of daddys who like to wrangle them, who like the push/pull of submission. Who are seeking that kind of dynamic. 

I do not have successful relationships with brats. But I love littles that challenge me. Littles that push me to be a better daddy, that put me in uncomfortable or new situations I have to figure out, that constantly help our relationship by renegotiating for what they need. 

I think this is a really complicated situation and I’m sorry that you’re struggling. 

I’ve seen a lot of advice about this in the vein of “start asking for caretaking in small ways, start acting childish and make it more normalized before you bring it up, call him daddy while fucking unprompted” which I personally think are all terrible ways to approach it.

My suggestion is to start having conversations about kink with your partner if you haven’t. This is going to be a baby step process I think, and something that you will hopefully help them grow into, as you grow into each other. 

If the kink introduction, the small things, start going well, just keep moving it along. Experiment and explore with each other, and talk a LOT about it so you know where each of you are in the process. If it’s all going well, you can maybe introduce the little side of you once there’s a real good level of trust and fun built up and even if their first reaction wouldn’t have been positive, maybe now it will be at least curiosity.

That’s all to say that you really want to be with this person. Because this is going to be a lot of work. A lot of relationship work. A lot of work that won’t always go well and could backfire and might have to be put on hold if other relationship stress appears. If you’re in it for the long haul, then start moving towards it. You’ll know pretty quickly I think if it’s going to be a path you can take. 

You also always have the option of not doing that work though. And I’ll promise you that there’s no one you won’t have to do work for. No perfect partner like that. BUT there’s probably someone who you might not have to work on this side of the relationship with and instead focus on other very important parts like attachment, affection, support and aligning your dreams together. 

It’s always up to you to choose what gaps you’re willing to work at crossing for someone. 

The past three or four years I’ve been mostly single, but also looking pretty consistently. 

One of the things I had been trying to do after my last relationship, and thanks to therapy, was move away from a very sex-focused compatibility guage. You see, in the past, it was something I always looked for first and it got me into some relationships that maybe I could’ve avoided if I didn’t weight that compatibility so high. Obviously, the pendulum has swung back the other way, and dating without a sex-first mentality has really helped me understand what it is I’m looking for in all aspects of a partner. 

But in these past three or four years, I’ve dated a handful of women for short periods of time (1-2 months) and they all ended in the same way. 

When someone here asks if I’d still date a person with x, y, z qualifier...I always want to say to them, the thing I’ve found that immediately makes me understand our incompatibility is a person’s lack of insight into their own sexuality. 

All of the women I dated after that shift in my focus, were deeply disconnected from their sexual needs and desires. It ranged from not being able to communicate what those were, to me being told explicitly “can’t you, ya know, just do whatever you want?” and not in like a sexy power dynamic way but in a “I don’t want to participate in this really and never have had to before why are you asking me to” kind of way. 

So, whatever your special circumstance is, know that it’s probably not a disqualifier for me. 

I know that a female ownership of sexuality is complicated, to say the least. And that society has put immense pressures on both men and women (and nonconforming folks too!) when it comes to how they navigate sexuality. I have some deep sympathy for that, and also realize that where I’m at with my own sexuality would likely not make me a good partner for someone not on the same trajectory. We’re all at different levels, and I think that’s okay, we just have to recognize it and be honest, even if we really like someone. 

Well, there’s a couple ideas here…

I think that if someone and I match on the ddlg dynamic, there’s a lot going for us right away. Kink exploration is one of my very favorite things to do, and that’s a pretty hard thing to give up for a relationship. But also, I might want to grow and explore in other ways that just stretching. I dated a kitten girl once upon a time, and really liked that for instance. And I’ve got a few really hidden kinks that I’d love to explore with the right person. I know what things I don’t have much interest in (knives, extreme violence, blood, advanced rope/rigging) but I think there’s a whole lot left for me to explore.

If it was a hard limit/never will try this, I might have some questions about that and it might ultimately not work. But that’s not a hard and fast rule at all. 

I don’t think I earn submission by asking like this. I usually earn submission by earning trust, understanding the person, and then easing into it. 

I’m not one for traditional dating practices really. I don’t think the roles of dating should be constrained by traditional values and stereotypes, especially in kink. In my experience, I find that the relationships that happened before the kink are always more understanding and able to work through hurdles together better than the ones that start solely in kink. It feels like those have more times where people miss each other and don’t know how to figure it out. 

But I’ll also say that if someone asked me out of the blue, I’d be a little taken back. I prefer to have a conversation, a few conversations, grow towards each other, before jumping in. I don’t think all daddies are meant for all little girls, and all little girls aren’t good matches for daddies, there’s a lot more to it than just our shared interest in a specific dynamic. 

Do you say it with a French accent? “Ehnnnnn-ree” 

Yeah. Maybe. I think I would have to work up to 24/7 because of the trust and expectations that are involved. But if someone was able to have effective communication around wants, needs and problems...I’d definitely consider it.

I prefer to moderate and watch someone else. Though I also like all sorts of watersports play. I kinda lump it all together, though I think the omorashi folks would not really approve of that.

A favorite self-watersports activity is drinking a whole lot of water, and letting the urge build up for a while, before pulling myself out, holding the glass I drank from down, and filling it up with my cock inside of it so it’s submerged by the time I finish. Then going to get more water and do it again in another 30 mins. 

How long have you been holding it little girl? A long time huh? Well. I guess if you can’t hold it any longer, you can let it go right here. I know it’ll be a little embarrassing to not go in the bathroom, and who knows if your sister will walk in. But you can let it go right here in the middle of the room if you can’t hold it any longer. 

That’s it little one, go ahead and have your accident right here in front of me. Oh this is a big accident, isn’t it? And you’re shaking so much. Does it feel good? Is that why you’re shaking? Letting it all run down your legs, and over your socks...

Thank you for holding it so long. Why don’t you peel those socks and panties off and put them in the bathroom sink. We’ll wash them later after we clean up your big mess here.