Mavis the Mae

-red pandas in Indiana, Kentucky, and Ohio. they can live in those you-pick orchards and delight tourists, and in the winter the big ones can be harvested by the farmers for food and fur. america also has native bamboo, as well as plenty of escaped invasives.

-koalas in southern california. we already have a lot of feral eucalpytus in the state and it makes our wildfires way worse. let's put koalas in there too. coyotes can hunt them like dingos do.

-cheetahs in colorodo, wyoming, nebraska, and oklahoma. we had cheetahs here once, that's why pronghorns are so fast. let's give them something to really haul ass about.

-spotted hyenas in texas and new mexico. did you know there's actually a shit ton of oryx already roaming around new mexico? they were brought in for a game preserve. oryx can fight off lions, but spotted hyenas are actually superior pack hunters with some of the highest kill rates of large cooperative predators in the world. we might have a problem with ranchers, but like: fuck ranchers. they already decimated the mexican wolf populations. they deserve hyenas.

-pangolins. i would drop these guys in arizona honestly. everyone in arizona hates and fears fire ants. i think entire neighborhoods would throw ecstatic parades for pangolins (which smell much better than giant anteaters) at least until a pangolin dug straight through their pasteboard condo.

-new zealand's little penguin in louisiana. they burrow into mud and sand banks during the day and tolerate quite hot temperatures! i think they'd do fine, and louisiana is sliding into the gulf anyway. let's have penguins there. i'd also try them out in new england in case lousiana is just too swampy for them. i feel like new yorkers would go insane with pride over having penguins around. they would act like they invented the whole concept of penguins. we should let them.

-water buffalo. georgia and the carolinas. i just think it would give everyone there some interesting new problems.

Europe: Wombat

We've had enough of your fucking rabbits and foxes. Here, have a huge badger type thing that can destroy cars with its arse. It'll outcompete your badgers and where will you be then. Haha.

Asia: Wombat

We've had enough of Indian camels ruining our deserts. Here's something to ruin your terrain for a change.

North America: Wombat

We've had enough of United States tourists with no manners. Here's some tourists with even less manners.

South America: Wombat

WE'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR FUCKING CANE TOADS. WOMBATS FOR YOU.

Africa: Wombat

The feral ostriches aren't actually all that much of a problem right now, but in revenge for the problem they will probably become in the future, have some fucking wombats.

Antarctica: Wombat

I'll take it right back home and warm it up I promise I. I just really want to see a wombat walk and dig in the snow.

Australia: Wombat

Pseudolaureola wilsmorei

POV you’re interrupting mbart media time. rude, honestly :/

stills:

I WILL calmly and kindly try to help anyone who is afraid of bugs. I will show them my finds, i will explain their importance, i will tell them just how sweet and gentle and friendly they are. And I WILL shoot down any immature loser who believes senseless killing is the only possible response to not liking something.

Get woke. Love bugs.

Wake up babe, new octopus just dropped

Pov you're Three and multiple fuck off massive ships saw you from across the bar and liked your vibe ✨

Very vaguely inspired by this from Platform Decay (mild spoiler):

Yes... yes.

Superb Fairywren (Malurus cyaneus), male, family Maluridae, order Passeriformes, SA, Australia

photograph by Dave Nightingale

Splendid Fairywren (Malurus splendens), family Maluridae, order Passeriformes, Australia

photograph by Jennifer Sexton

Purple-backed Fairywren (Malurus assimilis), L - female, R - male, family Maluridae, order Passeriformes, Australia

photograph by Graeme Wilkes

Purple-crowned Fairywren (Malurus coronatus), male singing, family Maluridae, order Passeriformes, WA, Australia

photograph by Howard Loosemore

Blue-breasted Fairywrens (Malurus pulcherrimus), male and female, family Maluridae, order Passeriformes, Western Australia

photograph by Shelley Pearson

White-winged Fairywren (Malurus leucopterus), male, family Maluridae, order Passerifromes, Australia

photograph by Mick Jury

Red-backed Fairywren (Malurus melanocephalus), male, family Maluridae, Australia

Photograph by Glenn Bartley

Opalton Grasswren (Amytornis rowleyi), family Maluridae, Forsyth Range, Queensland, Australia

photograph by Jan Wegener

Rufous-crowned Emu-Wren (Stipiturus ruficeps), family Maluridae, found in interior northern and central Australia

photograph by jan_wegener

Mallee Emu-Wren (Stipiturus mallee), family Maluridae, order Passeriformes, endemic to a narrow range in SE Australia

ENDANGERED.

"i'm so basic.....i just like a lot of butter or jam :(" (as though those are not god's best and most beloved condiments and his greatest gifts to mankind)

"FUCK health guidelines FUCK my cholesterol and most importantly FUCK diet culture i'll put a dumpster full of butter on my toast and not even GOD will stop me" (no notes. god would encourage this)

doxxing one's self by mention of polarizing regional delicacies (i am so curious about vegemite i must admit)

"does a grilled cheese count as toast?" (not for the purposes of this post)

"i don't like toast please don't kill me" (i appreciate the honesty but i fear this post is not for you)

people who put full ass meals on toast (based)

people who do not but eat toast as a full meal (based)

melty peanut butter (absolutely based)

"it's a guilty pleasure but...nutella 😳" (relieve yourself of fear and enjoy your dessert toast)