THESE HOES TREATING ME LIKE A CORN DOG

kep's favorite hobby is crawling onto your lap so he can breathe really loudly and wetly 1 inch away from your face. it is so so important to him that you let him do this.

it’s never a normal temperature anymore it’s always some fucking bullshit

that one post that ends with “john waters think he the hamburglar” is the best post in existence. i just call it the john waters post because sam levinson and ryan murphy arent even part of it for me.

One of those goofy maid animes, except the viewpoint character isn't the hapless master or mistress of the house, but a regular-ass janitor who ended up on this crew due to a paperwork mixup at the temp agency and can't figure out what the fuck is wrong with her co-workers.

“You can’t fix him” I don’t wanna fix him! I wanna FUCK him! I’m a pervert not a psychologist!

this lifetime is very bizarre and then youre not even supposed to also be bizarre. Ok

EVERYONE STOP TELLING ME HOW OLD YOU WERE IN 2008 I DONT WANNA HEAR THAT SHIT

SOME OF YOU SHOULD BE AT THE OPRHANGE

preschool. I meant preschool.

if I got carried away by the harpies I would accept my fate because I respect women

Carries you away like a pathetic little bunny even though I'm not a harpie I'm just a slut

wheeee

I see a child run out in front of this car and I throw a black lace shawl over their shoulders, saving their life

every time I think about how they apparently made yoda's swamp hut an instinctual thing that his entire species crawls off and builds I fucking lose it again

[yoda suffering anxiety attack voice] hmm build a mud hut I must. for reasons I don't know.

[yoda suffering manic episode voice] a really good fucking idea, a mud hut is

either I'm blind or you're just horny

it can be both. i could fill a library with what you don't understand you rube.