Dante: Sure you do.

Dante: Shut the fuck up about Wesley.

Dante: But yes, I'd rather fuck him than have this pointless conversation with you. You got that right.

Dante: ...Just fuck off, Fuckerman.

Dante: I'm really not in the mood for your shit.

Dante: Don't you have some annoying screechy brunette to bang?

Mateo: Shit, okay... I just hope you feel better man.

Dante: From you? No.

Dante: Nor do I have anything to talk about with you.

Dante: Are you trying to be my therapist now?

Dante: Sure. Whatever.

Dante: Just stop checking out my ass.

Mateo: Alright, well if that changes you know where I am.

Mateo: Same goes for any dicks in that halls, got it? And if you even see a threat about a slushy let me know, alright?

Dante: Is... what?

Dante: I'm doing peachy, as you can see. People who try to kill themselves are usually in a chipper mood.

Dante: ....tmi

Dante: For a straight dude who talks about banging his girlfriend 24/7 you sure as hell worry about my tight pants a lot.

Mateo: Just.. is there anything you need? Or wanna talk about?

Mateo: You know I was asking in good spirits dude, you don't needa be sarcastic with me. How are you feeling?

Dante: Never. I'm not coming back.

Dante: Don't you have anything better to do than worry about my pants, Fuckerman?

Mateo: Oh. Is ... you know... how are you?

Mateo: Vasquez, when the hell are you coming back football? If you think we were drowning before, you have no idea how bad it is now.

I believe that, since you guys get your asses handed to you in literally every game you play. At least with glee club it will be worth it, because there’s an actual pay off. Last year we went to compete in New York, and this year I’ll make sure we actually win too. Please, she can’t be that bad. She’s your mom, and moms support their kids. Or maybe you just like brunettes with a great bullshit detector. Oh, okay… what uh, what do you want to do then?

Correction, we’ve won at least two games this season. So, not literally every game. Figuratively in every game. You mean you made it all the way to New York and flopped? Geez, maybe we should stick around to help you. Yea, you have a point. Or maybe I just like brunettes in general and you’re giving yourself too much credit. We’ll figure that out when I get there, babe. 

It’s okay, sometimes you need to suffer for the arts. The end result is what matters, and it will most definitely be worth it. Of course I won’t, but I think that even she will realize eventually that you’re helping a lot of people, and be proud of you for that too. Almost sounds like you have a type, Mateo… You did, then you took it back… Um, do you just wanna sing with me or…?

You people say that a lot, don’t you? I guess that’s understandable though. We kinda have to suffer for our sport too, so makes sense it works the same for you guys. Yea, you don’t know Heather... Yea, I guess I do. Crazy brunettes who don’t like to believe a word I say, what a catch. Well, I’m reissuing it... Maybe not. 

I’m not tooting anything. I just know what my strengths are, that’s all. And I don’t mind lending a hand when I’m needed… I guess so.. but at least you’re open to change some of your ways, which takes a lot of guts, especially at this school. I’m very proud of you. Gee, I wonder why that is. I wasn’t worried, just curious… because I think you’re.. uh.. you know.. nice and uh, handsome…

Right, sure you aren’t... Yea, well, if I end up eating slushy every day it’ll be on your conscious, princess. But, uh, yea. I guess doing the right thing is worth it. Just don’t tell my mom. Because you’re both crazy. Oh look, another thing in common. Wow, great compliment skills. Well, I already told you I think you’re... ya know... pretty and stuff. 

Sure we can uh, talk, if that’s what you want to do, Mateo… I know my ideas will be a lot better, though… I like to believe it’s latter. You’re not a bad guy, you’re just a little misguided. But we can work on that. Well then I hope for you that at least your maybe-girlfriend believes you. Because I don’t. I don’t know? Why would you spend your evening with someone who you don’t like?

Yea, sure, you think so. But we’ll see about that when I actually get there. You really enjoy tooting your own horn, huh? Well, uh, thanks. I appreciate that. I’m not misguided though. Just trying to survive in a dog-eat-dog world. Yea, my girlfriend doesn’t believe much of anything actually. At least when it’s stuff I’m saying. You guys have that in common. Don’t worry about that. That’s my prerogative. 

I mean, you could choose something yourself, I guess. Or you could let me pick something for us and have it be perfect. Up to you. I always have a point. This is kind of weird, though, you being so helpful… Maybe Figgins was actually right to put you guys in glee club. But then again, I suppose even a broken clock is right at least twice a day. Liar. The fact that you’re coming over tonight to sing with me, instead of spending time with your bitchy girlfriend, who you’re not even certain of if she is your girlfriend, mostly.

We can talk it out when I get there, alright? Who knows, you might have some okay suggestions. You know, judging my this conversation so far. Yea, well, maybe I want to get out of this club just as fast as you want us out of here. And this is the easiest way to do it. Or maybe I actually am I nice person. I don’t lie. Sorry to burst your bubble. Exactly, I don’t know if we’re together. So why would I spend my evening with her? 

I don’t know, ask the rest of the idiots you play football with who he is and there you’ll find your answer. Okay, perfect, you can come by my house tonight then. I have a lot of um, great ideas for a duet. Though don’t feel bad if you can’t keep up with me vocally. Very few people can. No, I don’t, because your brother is too stubborn and too much of a sulking piss baby to do anything nice for a club that’s lead by Harrison Lynn. But even if he did want to help, then it’s only a good thing that you’re helping out too. The more people, the better. So, you will? Thanks a lot, Mateo! I guess I was wrong about you after all.. Mhm, are you really sure about that? Because I think you like me.

Alright, true, touche. You got be there, Fabray. Tonight? Oh, okay yea I guess I can. I thought the whole point of this was me picking my own music to do though? You got a point there too, I guess. Kid needs to grow a pair and move on. Alright yea I’ll try to give a hand I guess. I’m 100% positive. Oh yea, and what gives you that idea, princess? 

Not everything that’s mainstream is bad, though admittedly I am surprised and impressed that you even know who Eros Ramazzotti is. Alright, I’ll be looking forward to it. Let me know if you need any help at all… You know, easy things, such as setting a good example for the rest of them. No more slushies, no more dumpster tosses, no more calling us mean names or throwing food at us. And of course, protecting us when you see someone else doing it. It’s really not that difficult. Oh, I see.. well, I guess we’ll just have to prove her wrong then. Oh please, we both know you don’t mean that…

He’s one of the most popular Italian artists, how could I not know who he is? I’m actually kind of surprised you know who he is, to be frank.... Uh, right. Yea. If you wanna help, that’s cool. Don’t you think my brother is better suited for that stuff? He was already friends with you dorks before we got added into this club, you know? ... But, uh, I’ll see what I can do, I guess. Don’t tell me what I mean. I know what I mean.

What part of her isn’t diverse? Literally every music video this icon reinvents herself. But if you really think that’s all we sing, then you really have been missing out on a lot, Mateo. Also, Mr. Smythe is open to everyone’s suggestions, so if you don’t like our current music then why don’t you come up with your own performance? Well, if I actually had someone on my side to lead a revolution with, maybe I wouldn’t have to raise my voice so much to be heard. …Oh wait, you mean your mom? Why wouldn’t she be proud of you for doing something good? ….Whatever, take it back then if it’s so important to you. Right, sure you were. Well in that case, Don’t be offended by my frank analysis. Think of it as personality dialysis.

Yea, but she’s mainstream. Everyone knows her if you say her name, that’s not diverse music. Diverse music would be Eros Ramazzotti, or something different like that. And trust me, I will be. Be prepared for something actually good to be sung. ... What exactly does this job entail. The whole being on your side thing? And yea, my mother. She was a firm believer in leaving the order of things how they were. Why do you think Ezra and I play football? She wants us on top. This whole glee thing has her fuming... Yea, exactly. You need a personality dialysis.