LITTERALLY 23 RN AND THIS HITS
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@matchana
LITTERALLY 23 RN AND THIS HITS

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say ‘food’ labeling some good, some bad as i assign moral value to this grain of rice i might say ‘numbers’ counting, measuring, tracking calories, sizes, BMIs allthetimecalculating everysinglething if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say ‘beauty’ complete devotion, idolization of the western standard begging for others’ envy i might say ‘attention’ desperately needing someone anyone, to notice me at all to see that i am unwell, to care if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say ‘control’ the sick, sick result of discipline gone sour a curdling obsession i might say ‘guilt’ over being too big too plain too comfortable too needy too me if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say ‘anger’ hating the injustice of living hating everything, everyone including myself i might say ‘pain’ a way to transpose the scars of my soul onto the body aching for congruence if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say ‘minimalism’ my mind whirls like a run-on sentence and i can’t stand being wasteful so no thank you i don’t need anything at all really i might say ‘self-righteousness’ i’m parading the streets, declaring my holier-than-thouness because hey look! i’m better at dying than you if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say ‘expectations’ i’ve been naturally small my entire life and now, but now i lose myself when i grow i might say ‘childhood’ reverting to my prepubescent body no breasts and when sex was just a word muddled with giggles if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say ‘addiction’ a habit that can’t be kicked craving the buzz, the high of manipulating my insides i might say ‘death’ i’m not that happy anyway so why not drive my body to the edge, tempting it to quit? if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say nothing because i do not know it’s not like it matters because you don’t ask because you don’t know either
—i don’t know, you don’t know, no one knows // 01.22.18
Reblogging again so I dont lose it
I’m not a person I’m just 3 mental illness stacked on top of each other wearing a trench coat
Just a reminder to all you lovely people that today is Christmas Eve and tomorrow is Christmas and you deserve to enjoy it! I know it's difficult, but try to eat what you like, even if it's only a little, and don't punish yourself for it later.
Two days will not cause permanent weight gain, loves.
Just some random ed facts since I'm making questionable google searches rn
Eating disorders are among the deadliest mental illnesses, second only to opioid overdose.
28-74% of risk for eating disorders is through genetic heritability.
Less than 6% of people with eating disorders are medically diagnosed as “underweight.”
20-30% of adults with eating disorders also have autism.
Anorexia has an estimated mortality rate of around 10 percent.
A study by the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders reported that 5 – 10% of anorexics die within 10 years after contracting the disease; 18-20% of anorexics will be dead after 20 years and only 30 – 40% ever fully recover.
Only 1 in 10 people with eating disorders receive treatment.
Treatment of an eating disorder in the US ranges from $500 per day to $2,000 per day. The average cost for a month of inpatient treatment is $30,000. It is estimated that individuals with eating disorders need anywhere from 3 – 6 months of inpatient care. Health insurance companies for several reasons do not typically cover the cost of treating eating disorders.
The cost of outpatient treatment, including therapy and medical monitoring, can extend to $100,000 or more.
All I have to say is yikes😬

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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• this blogger is never going to judge you for unfollowing • this blogger is never going to hunt you down • this blogger doesn’t check who blocks them • this blogger doesn’t send anon hate • this blogger respects your space
Do you think this is a pretty sight? This is the reality of having anorexia for 12+ years. The reality of what eating disorders can do to your body.
When I was in high school and then in college getting my bachelors degree, I spent more time in hospitals and treatment centers than I did out of them.
And then I found out
My organs failed. Permanently.
Last year, I needed major surgery that took about 4 HOURS, and after that I was admitted to the hospital for a week on heavy pain medications, being wheeled around because I couldn’t walk.
I had tubes everywhere.
I had to medically withdraw from graduate school because I had to spend that time in doctors offices, infusion centers for IVs, in the ER, or admitted into the hospital.
Now I have a 6 inch scar across my abdomen and will be on medications for the rest of my life to help my heart and stomach function enough to keep me alive.
I’ve nearly died multiple times from the ED, but I had never believed that my organs could shut down and leave me to deal with that reality for the rest of my life.
That is not a way anyone should have to live life.
This is what an eating disorder looks like. Not the “thinspo” everyone sees on the Internet. This is what you don’t see behind those pictures and it’s not pretty.
WTF HOW DOES THIS ONLY HAVE 1,000 NOTES?? SIGNAL BOOST PLS
PLEASE BOOST
Eating disorders are perhaps one of the most dangerous unspoken killers. They’re so easy to fall into, and almost impossible to crawl out of.
This is why I post thinspo. So I can sneak things like this into it.
:(
I don’t ‘zone out’. Being zoned out is my default state, and I occasionally zone back in to check how things are going.
NEVER TAG YOUR EATING DISORDER POSTS UNDER "PRO RECOVERY"
People in actual ed recovery will find your post and might get triggered into a relapse, i know you want your post to be seen but stick to eating disorder tags, not ones for recovery, everyone deserves to recover and be happy and healthy, it's wrong to risk ruining their hard work and effort, please do not tag ED posts under recovery
I say this because one of my old friends relapsed due to the sheer amount of thinspo and body checks calorie counts etc in the ed recovery tag :(
Just a reminder that I’m an Adult™ and if that makes you feel uncomfortable feel free to:
unfollow me
ask me to unfollow you
block me
I won’t get mad or anything. It’s important to make sure you feel comfortable and secure.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
how do i uninstall anxiety
control alt delete or smth
I wouldn’t mind napping for like a year or 7
reblog if you’re a lesbian who supports bi girls, a bi girl who supports lesbians, or if you want all wlw to have a nice day
People spewing sнiт about eating disorders like they know what’s up:
Me, not wanting to out myself:
True story.
pls reblog if you’re ACTUALLY an active edtumblr blog in dec 2020 pls my feed is dry :)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
i feel like i’m already tired tomorrow
don’t tell me it ain’t true tho
sorry but this pissed me off so i fixed it
in russia, eating disorders are not recognized. this has been a problem since the 90’s, maybe even longer. literally google “anorexia in russia” and read any link. “skinny russians” being a thing just shows how prevalent it is.
russian ana’s recieve no help with this hell. the ED therapy and “help” in russia is traumatizing.
just because they are russian doesnt mean they arent people suffering through the same hell as us.
dont diminish an entire nation’s crisis with eating disorders to “skinny” when they have no help and are completley on their own.
Reblogging cause I didn’t know this!!