To the person who messaged us the Question about D/s within our relationship: you cant receive messages so:

Hey! I just stumbled across your blog. I had some questions about domination and your relationship. I am very much into the idea of a girl being in charge in bed. I mostly just like being told to do things and made to worship her breasts, butt, feet and pussy. I'm not entirely sure I like BDSM per say, but I'd love to try it. Unfortunately my girlfriend thinks the even being aggressive and dominant is kinda creepy and not her. How should I broach the subject? Thanks!

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Hi there! Firstly, your best bet (and always my first bit of advice!) is to communicate as openly as possible with your partner. Whether that means sitting her down, texting her, or randomly approaching the conversation in a lighthearted way: “I saw this thing on tumblr, what do you think about it?”

Your girlfriend may need reassurance that her being dominant wont take away from other aspects of your relationship. She may fear that she will have to be a Domme from here on out and lose other parts of you as a couple. She may even be shy about taking on a dominant role.

Start small with what you want - spend more time going down on her or giving her foot rubs, worship her without the label and work your way up towards a conversation about it.

if its *very* important to you, express that to her - your partner needs to know what makes you tick and what you need in the bedroom. Ask her if you could just try and explore a few things together (both yours and her interests) and if she hates it after trying it then rethink it.

Lastly, in worst case, your girlfriend may just be vanilla. There’s nothing wrong with vanilla if all parties are satisfied - but if you’re not, you may need to rethink your relationship and consider whether you want to open your relationship up (in an honest way, I don’t condone cheating!) or whether you can live without ever exploring the things you’re into.

Myself and J (my sub/partner) have an agreement that if we ever want to try something outside of our relationship that we’ll sit down and chat about our options. Your partner should be the person youre an open book with and if you can’t be open, your relationship may suffer for it.