Mascara and Coffee

“Bill!”

His feet came to a halt at the call of his name and turned in the direction. A soft ‘oof’ falling from his lips as his waist was encompassed in warmth and sobs. It took a moment and a glimpse down to realize it was his mother wrapped around his middle.

“Oh, my boy” she wept pulling away and pulling his face down to her level to inspect his face for harm. “Oh, you’re alright! Thank Merlin!”

“Mum” his voice broke over wails, his eyes glancing up to take in the number of redheads behind her and nodding to himself at the number, they might be bumped and bruised but they were whole. He gripped his mother by her upper arms and pulled her away to meet her warm, nurturing eyes. “Mum, have you seen her? Have you seen Luca?”

Molly’s eyes widened slightly at her son’s question. “Oh no, Bill, I haven’t seen her since the fighting began. I- Bill where are you going?”

Bill had turned away from his family taking the stairs two at a time stretching his long legs as far as they would reach. “I have to find her.”

Again, the soles of his shoes skidded amongst the rubble and discarded wands, even sickeningly jumping over the slain bodies of both friends and foes, both young and old. His voice wrung out through the halls hoping for a response.

Unbeknown to the young curse breaker, he had gained the attention of something dark lurking in the shadows. It followed him, awaiting its opportunity to strike.  He ducked into a classroom inspecting the insides, seeing it empty he continued on. Anxiety and dread chilling him to the bone.

Possibilities of her whereabouts began to plague his mind in dreadful sequences, each darker than the last. Perhaps she was busy getting the underclassman safe into Hogsmead or perhaps she still locked into a duel with a Deatheater? The later wrapped his heart in fear, although Luca had been one of the best duelers in their year, dueling was structured upon rules and respect, qualities Deatheaters lacked.

Through Bill’s reeling mind, something caught his eye.

Something familiar and yet oh so dreadful.

She lay on her side, her wand just within reach of her right hand. Her cloak billowed around her frame. Smudges of dirt accented the freckles that dotted her skin in a delicate pattern

“Luca?”

His feet brought him closer and down to his knees, as tears fell freely. Her eyes lacked their usual mischievous twinkle open and wide but unseeing, her skin pale and cold, the emerald cut diamond gleaming from her left finger almost tauntingly.

An atrocious sob escaped his lips as he gently picked her body up and brought her close to him, burying his nose in her neck and reveling in the scent that was so uniquely her: sweet cherry blossoms, old leather-bound books, and the complex mingling of baking sweets and spices. He looked down upon her body and felt his heart and mind breaking at how unbelievably still she was.

“I’m here” Bill whispered “I’m here sweet girl. Please come back to me.”

His voice cracked towards the end as he begged and pleaded, clenching his eyes shut he felt his body begin to shake desperately pulling at the glue that seemed to be holding him together, desperate to fall into shambles.

‘Just breath.” He told himself before the words began to escape him. “Please open your eyes again sweetheart. Come back to me, it's ok I’ve got you. It’s all over now and I’ve got you. You’re ok, just wake up for me. Please wake up! Don’t leave me, don’t leave and go somewhere I can’t follow you. Don’t do this to me. Please come back.”

As he rocked her back and forth, willing the life back into her body. His mind began to revel in every plan they had ever made: their wedding, their children, holidays at the burrow, making a house a home for them and their family, their children being sent off to Hogwarts. One by one his mind drained all the color and hope from those scenes burying them beneath his loss and sorrow. A small part of his mind reminded him how dangerous this was, laying so out in the open unprotected in the midst of war but he would welcome said death if it meant being back with her.

“Riddikulus!”

Bill could barely process the change that occurred only that the corpse he had been holding had suddenly disappeared and in its place was a snowing of glitter. Looking around confused his eyes fell upon a five-foot three stance at the end of the hall, wand drawn, hair wild as ever, dirt and blood smudged across her face  and eyes sparkling with life.

“Luca?”

She launched herself towards him eventually ending up in his arms. He reveled in the feeling of her warmth, feeling her chest rise and fall against his. He buried his face in her hair and breathed in deeply.

“I thought I’d lost you.” He croaked out.

She smiled softly into his chest as she too lost herself in his presence.

“It’s gonna take more than a war to get rid of me, Weasley.” She smiled up at him. He smiled and gently cupped her cheek, his thumb softly swiping over a cut that marred her skin before bringing her lips to his in a deep kiss. “Mm” she hummed “ besides I have plans with you. Plans I don’t plan on giving up to any other woman.”

“Oh?” Bill smiled, teasingly tears burning his eyes for an entirely new reason now. “And what plans might those be?”

If I thought long enough about the man who rode the fence in regards to his namesake, I could almost smell the cologne that tainted the air in his presence a mix of gasoline, grease, and the signature cigarettes he kept either pursed between his plush lips or tucked away in his jeans. If I focused long enough, I could almost feel the ghost of his calloused fingers tracing down my skin, removing my scrubs, kissing my skin. To remember was such a pleasure and a curse. If I remembered too long, then the pleasant memories I shared of the man quickly faded to those of the last time I saw him; bloodied, shirtless standing victorious over his opponent, Angel’s dark eyes blown with rage and possessiveness. For the first time, I was ever afraid of Angel Reyes.  

The night air was chilly, smoke wafting into the starless night as the crowd roared in delight in a scramble of English and Spanish.  I cowered further into Angel’s hoodie, pressing my side further into Ez, his thick arm wrapped protectively around me as he guided us through the crowd toward the cage. The closer we got to the alloy fence, the more distinct the grunts and curses were as fists met teeth and skin scraped along the concrete.

Underneath the bright lights, a tattooed form sat throwing weighted fists into the body below him. The form on the bottom I instantly recognized as the out-of-town Mayan that had exchanged crude words with me at the bar before throwing his beer on me, drenching my white t-shirt, but his true mistake was laying his hand on me, gripping my arm and pulling me into his frame aggressively.

Those events had led to now. Angel’s muscled form glistened in the light as sheens of sweat rippled along his inked skin. Cords of muscle flexing taunt as his bloody fist rose once more, leveling the planes of his opponents face. I winced, jumping as the out-of-towner managed to take a cheap shot into Angel’s ribs, the two struggling for dominance. A sickening grunt left Angel’s bloodied lips as his head snapped to the side due to a well-placed blow. Quickly, Angel lowered his stance and plowed through his rival bringing them both back down onto the concrete as more blows were delivered.

Bishop finally gave a signal, Coco, and Gilly each taking one of Angel’s arms and hoisting him away from the gory sight of the other Mayan. Angel’s face was contorted in fury, blood dripping onto his face creasing into the expressive lines of his face. He broke away from the two’s grip and began another, fast-paced brutal attack before being pulled away again. His pink stained teeth were grit together, as he spat at the Mayan. It was in that moment I realized the tears slipping down my cheeks accompanying the constricting tightness in my chest. It was too much; the fire raging in Angel’s eyes terrified me. 

The fighting, the loud cheering, my heartbeat pounding behind my eyes, my hands shaking as they covered my mouth as I took in Angel’s frame, his aggressive persona sending my brain into overdrive trying to process the Angel before me and the Angel I had come to love as the same person, the Mayan Angel was dangerous and lethal my Angel was funny and loving. I swallowed the searing bile down as I took in the opponents face bloodied and disfigured, painted in thick blood as he gurgled for air, bubbles of red-tinged spit popping from his mouth as he was sat up.

“Em?”

It was Ezekiel’s questioning tone that made me realize I was distancing myself, I had pulled away from his embrace and steadily moving further from the cage, my eyes locked on the product of Angel’s rage. I met Ez’s eyes and managed a shake of the head, more tears pooling down my face before I turned on my heel and dashed through the crowd away from the MC.

This barbaric, animalistic side was unfathomable compared to the charming, funny biker I had grown to adore. I knew of the club and where his loyalties lie but seeing him so ruthless and cold put things into perspective, the MC wasn’t just a motorcycle group, this was much larger than that. If I wanted to be with Angel, this life of violence would have to be something I would have to accept. I had sworn an oath to heal people and care for them being associated with this type of life just posed so many moral and ethical dilemmas.

Shaking my head to clear away the memories I turned back to my phone. With quick precise keystrokes I typed out my response before my brain caught up with my actions. The message was short and direct, lacking any emotion.

‘When?’

‘Nice going Emelda’ I thought to myself as I fell back into my chair, mentally exhausted ‘Can’t back out now.’

My phone buzzed again.

‘Tomorrow. Clubhouse. 8”

The Mayans MC clubhouse was alive with activity, the expected finding for a Friday night; a beer in every hand most often than not accompanied with tequila. The air was thick with marijuana and cigarette smoke mixed with cheap perfume as scantily clad women sought out men in leather like mice to cheese.

Angel Reyes left his dorm room adjusting his cut as he did fresh from the shower. He checked his phone ‘7:30’ glowing back at him.  A shaky break escaped his lips as his fished in his pocket for a smoke, greedily inhaling the fumes once lit.

“Damn bro” Coco drew out as he walked by, an arm slung around the shoulders of a redhead “Went a little heavy on the aftershave didn’t you?”

“Emelda’s coming,” Angel said through a puff of smoke, giving the only answer he thought relevant.

“Really?” Coco questioned, a lopsided grin playing on his lips. A nervous Angel was an uncommon sight. “When?”

Angel exhaled another thick cloud of smoke his eyes scanning over the room “She gets off at 7 from the hospital. Said she would be here at 8.”

“Well come on man” Coco clapped a hand on Angel’s shoulder “Let's pass the time with some poker, I want to try and win back the money I lost. Hey, bebe go grab us a couple beers will you?” The redhead nodded batting her eyelashes as she went to the bar.

The two Mayans took their places at the table, Angel choosing a seat with a clear view of the door. Angel accepted his beer with a nod and gulped it down his eyes glancing at his phone once more as he was dealt a hand. Only five minutes had passed. Sighing Angel scrubbed his hand across his face before turning back to his cards.

‘Just a little longer’

“Another beer?” he ordered waving the redhead down with the empty brown bottle. He sighed and turned back to the game.

Hours passed.  

Angel waited.

As Angel waited he grew nervous. His knee began to bounce and his fingers began to fidget. He checked his phone repeatedly hoping to see a message or missed call. Nothing.  Anxiously, with shaking fingers the Mayan dialed her number, the digits burned into his brain as muscle memory.

‘Hey, this is Emelda sorry I can’t talk right now. Leave me a message and I'll get back to you!’

Angel bowed his head and clenched his eyes tightly, thousands of possibilities forming through his head as he pressed his fist into his forehead.

What if she was done with him for good? He had never lived in a world without Elena, except for these past few weeks and they were torture enough.

Accepting a shot from Gilly, Angel threw it back smoothly enjoying the burn as he accepted another.

She couldn’t be done with him, she couldn’t.  Angel raked his long fingers through his styled hair and tugged at the strands desperately he decided to wait a little longer.

As Angel waited he continued to drink.

Emelda parked her car outside the club at 10:42. Her grey eyes scanned the area cautiously, taking note of the leather-clad men and practically nude women. Tugging her jacket closer to her she made her way toward the building entrance.  Every fiber of her being told her to go home and crawl in bed.  Right at shift change, just as she was preparing to walk out the door to meet Angel,  a patient coded before another patient began to hemorrhage which resulted in her late arrival. Her bed sounded much more appealing than the heated, heartfelt discussion that was no doubt about to happen.

Ez’s attention drew to the door as the raven-haired woman entered. He smiled softly at her appearance. She had gone all out on her look without going over the top, her natural curls had been smoothed out and hung looser, and more relaxed around her flushed face. A tad more makeup than he was accustomed to her wearing, highlighted her features. Despite her looks, she looked out of place in her jeans and cardigan as she quietly scanned the room, her arms wrapped around herself like a security blanket, her teeth embedded into her lower lip.  

Ez’s smile quickly fell once it clicked in his mind who Emelda was looking for.  

Angel.

Ezekiel looked to his right where Angel sat, blackout drunk, numerous beer bottles surrounded his person littering the floor and table mixed with shot glasses and abandoned playing cards Perched on his lap was the redhead. Angel’s mouth latched to her neck and chest sloppily before devouring her mouth, shimmery lipstick smearing onto both their faces, as his hands groped at her body hungrily. Ez quickly looked back at Emelda just in time to see her mane of curls disappear through the door.

“Emelda!” he called out as he ran through the door stumbling to a halt as he caught her at her car. Her form was shaking violently, her body retching as she emptied her stomach, her breath catching on sobs.  Gently, Ezekiel collected her hair from her shoulders holding it out of the way and rubbing soft, soothing circles into her back. She turned to him with a tight smile, his eyes capturing the slight quiver of her lip and her tear-stained cheeks

“Ez, hi” she tried to smile wiping at her glassy eyes and mouth with her sleeve, before wrapping them around herself again. “How are you?”

“You can cut the formalities Mell” Ezekial offered her a sad smile. “I’m sorry you had to see that. You ok now?” He stuffed his hands in his pockets as he jerked his head back towards the clubhouse, awkwardly searching for some sort of excuse for his older brother.  Emelda shook her head softly keeping her face downcast.

“He was really looking forward to seeing you-“

A humorless laugh escaped Emelda’s lips as she diverted her eyes to the side of him. “I could tell.” She bit out looking toward the ground to collect herself. “Well,” she sniffed “He got his message across, Angel Reyes can have whoever he wants, whenever he wants. No one girl is special, we’re all replaceable.”

“Wha-no! Mel he jus-“

“You don’t have to make excuses for him Ez” she shook her head sadly. Emelda took two steps toward the youngest Reyes, placing her chilly, petite hand on his neck as she stood and pressed a friendly kiss to his cheek  “Take care of yourself. Call me if you ever need a patch up.”

Leaving no room for argument, Emelda climbed into her car. Ezekiel cursed under his breath before storming back into the clubhouse, his sights set on his brother. Emelda had grown up with the Reyes boys after their mother had died; Elena took on a motherly role helping hold the family together, despite being Ezekiel’s age, she was a caregiver by nature. She came and visited him often in prison, brought a home cooked meal to Pops’ at least once a week, and tried her damnedest to keep Angel walking the straight and narrow.  The former having evolved into something more as time went on.

Emelda showed love through action, a theory she applied to everyone in her life. So Angel’s smut fest in the clubhouse, Ezekiel knew, hurt her worse than he would ever imagine and a wave of growing anger bubbled within his chest at the thought of Elena hurting, especially over Angel’s stupidity.

Emelda watched Ez’s broad frame retreat through the side mirror more tears falling with each step he took.  Once she could no longer see his brooding frame, all her tears bubbled to the surface in desperate, shaking sobs and chokes.  Her chest constricted tightly desperate to be rid of the cotton that seemed to be filling her lungs, the small wails passing her lips in a poor attempt to accumulate oxygen.

Suddenly, a shadow passed over her passenger window and the car shook as they slapped their hand onto the roof creating a loud bang. A small scream leaving her lips as her body jerked away from the noise.

“My bad!”

 Meanwhile, inside the clubhouse, Angel and the club hang-around was just as Ez had left them, sloppily exchanging lips and tongue, Angel’s hand stumbling over the redhead’s shorts that had been cut to resemble more of cheekie underwear than bottoms as her hand was hidden beneath Angel’s jeans stroking him. Their scene combined with the heartache and tears in Elena’s eyes fueled Ezekiel’s rage.

“What the fuck?” Angel roared, his alcohol-soaked brain taking a moment to register that lips were no longer on his skin and his dick was no longer receiving the proper attention. Ezekiel stood over him, eyes blazing nostrils flaring as he pointed a finger into Angel’s leather-clad chest.

“I better not ever” Ez snarled “and I mean ever hear you mention Emelda again. Not after that show you just put on. She didn’t deserve that you piece of shit!”

Only one word in Ezekiel’s rant registered in Angel’s mind.

“She’s here?”

Angel’s voice was soft, almost euphoric at the thought, the ghost of a grin pulling at his lips. He pushed off the chair, hands reaching to comb back his hair, legs swaying under his weight as he made an attempt to step toward the door on jelly legs.

Ez pushed his hands firmly into Angel’s chest, shoving the firstborn Reyes back into the chair, the wooden legs scraping the floor in protest against the force.

“Not anymore” Ez snarled reaching down and bracing his arms on the arms of the wooden chair to be level with his brother “She walked in here, hair and makeup all done, all for you. Looked like she was scared to death and what does she see? Good ole Angel practically fucking some other girl when he was the one to invite her here in the first place. She ran out of here crying, fucking made herself sick she was so upset.”

“She was crying?”

Angel’s voice was quiet and weak.  Even through his alcohol fogged mind the words Emelda and crying in the same sentence felt like a brick on his chest.

Ez nodded in response “Said you got your message across pretty clear. Said you wanted her to see you with some whore. Make her realize she wasn’t shit to you and you could have your picks to replace her with just as easily as snapping your fingers.”

Angel’s eyes were widened and glossy, his jaw slack; from the drink or emotion, Ezekiel wasn’t sure.

“That’s not true” Angel whispered, shaking his head, long fingers wrapping into his ebony strands. “That’s not true”

“Well hey” Ezekiel stood straight placing his hands on his chest, a hint of sarcasm dripping from his words “Don’t tell me that. I already know. She’s too damn good for you, for this, and you keep proving that over and over again Angel! ”

Angel looked down at his lap in thought, fidgeting with the ring on his finger when a small black mark at the junction of his thumb caught his attention.  The black ink was less than two months old, still vibrant and bold against his tan skin. A simple sun, the sun that gave light and life to the world, the same role that Emelda played in his life.

“I gotta talk to her” Angel decided, attempting to push himself upright, the force sending him stumbling into the nearby wall.

“Nah man” Ezekial shook his head catching his brother “You need to get in bed. Sleep off this drunkenness before you fuck up even worse with Mel. Think you’ve caused enough problems for one night.”

~*~

“So you were just going to leave again?” Coco asked his eyes, dark and daunting as he rounded the car to approach Emelda who was leaning against the driver’s side door.  Emelda normally felt comfortable around Coco but the way he was staring at her made her feel like a tiny insect under his boot, ready to be squashed at any moment.

A scoff passed her lips as she hung her head, kicking at the asphalt with the tip of her foot

“Angel will be fine without me” she whispered, her voice cracking slightly at the painful admission “ that much is obvious.”

She opened her car door and searched through the console, a triumphant ‘ah-ha’ escaping as she found a barely opened pack of cigarettes. Emelda wasn’t a smoker, but since splitting from Angel she found comfort in the thin, white cancer sticks. She had convinced herself it was a coincidence they happened to be the same kind Angel smoked.

“How do you know?” Coco challenged now standing face-to-face with the woman as he lit her cigarette for her. “You’ve never seen him without you but I have. It kills me to see my brother like that.”

“This life isn’t for me Coco” she shook her head as her gaze fell upon a topless woman who seemed to be prancing around in a pair of licorice underwear, bites seeming to be missing here and there.  “I don’t belong here.”

“But you belong with Angel” the Mayan urged “and he’s a part of this.”

Emelda sniffed shaking her head as she shakily brought her cigarette to her lips and took a small drag.

“He needs someone stronger than me. Someone who can handle all of this.” She rolled her wrists to indicate the clubhouse and packed parking lot. “An MC isn’t for me. I’m sorry that’s just how it is.”

Coco placed his hands on the woman’s shoulders “We’re not just an MC. We’re family. We take care of our own. When Angel chose you, you became a part of it. You have a family. We are your family, not just an MC. We love you, Angel loves you.”

“Then why did I find him seconds from fucking some other girl?” she snapped backfire fueling her words. “He doesn’t love me..”

Coco shifted his weight awkwardly; he didn’t like being the one under fire from the petite woman’s wrath. She reminded him of an automatic assault rifle; sensitive. One wrong move, their fury was unleashed.

‘I would rather the automatic right now’ Coco thought.

“Not to take up for him or anything, but you were late.” Coco shrugged “He thought you were ditching him. Got all kinds of loco thinking you were giving up on him, he started tossing drinks back like it was water. Called you over and over, when you didn’t answer he just went further off the deep end. Angel doesn’t have good coping mechanisms, you know that. He acts now, asks questions when convenient. He thought he had lost you and there was nothing at that moment to tell him differently”

“I had a patient dying on me, I have a responsibility!”  Emelda barked “Then my phone was dead and I had no way to charge it! This piece of shit barely picks up radio forget about charging a cell phone! I told him I would be here, didn’t I? When have I ever lied to him?”

Coco shrugged puffing a deep drag.

“You may not have lied to him, but you’ve left him before. ”

Smoke filtered around his words as they stung Emelda’s skin, a visible flinch shivering through her body.

“That was different” Emelda growled, fresh tears pricking her eyes “Besides, he has to learn just because things don’t go the way he was planning isn’t reason enough to throw in the towel on everything! He has to show he still cares, that he wants to fight for us! If he cares he can’t give up so easily!”

Emelda’s chest heaved, tears rolling down her cheeks. Coco looked at her with a small smirk playing on his thin lips as he removed his cigarette.

“Then why are you?”

“Wh-what?” Emelda whimpered staring at Coco with glassy eyes.

“If you care, which you obviously do, you can’t give up on him so easily.” Coco approached her slowly, placing both hands on her shoulders, shaking her softly to try and add emphasis on his words as he lowered his head to meet her gaze.

“Fight.”

A scoff passed her lips.”Fight? What for? I can’t live like this, worried everytime he goes out that hes with some other girl.” Emelda choked covering her mouth “I fought, I came her tongiht to fight! “

Emelda shook her head and flicked the remainder of her cigarette to the groud and reaching for the car door.

“Ya’ve gone quiet on me, luv.” His heavily accented voice bounced off my skin “Are ya not ‘njoying yaself?”

Speaking seemed too advanced a task for my mental state at the moment, too challenging when his lips were assaulting my skin, there wasn’t even room for air between us as suddenly the Irishman’s arm slipped beneath my knees and hoisted me upward, a smirk pulling on his lips at my surprised squeak.

“I can tell ya enjoying ya’self.  Ya body is so sensitive, so responsive.”

My chest heaved, trying to regain a sense of control over my erratic heart rate and breathing.  I clenched my thighs subconsciously as his voice growled down at me.  Finn’s icy blue eyes searched my face; perhaps looking for a sign of fear or rejection, when he saw none he craned his neck lowering his head closer to mine nudging my nose slightly with his before I met him the rest of the way.  Our lips moved together, Finn capturing my bottom lip between his teeth teasingly.

Finn gently lowered me on the bed, resting my head amongst a soft pillow. My eyes fluttered open, taking in the scene before as the Irishman stepped back, the tip of his pink tongue slipping between his pink lips to run along his lip. He shouldered out of his leather jacket, throwing it over a chair to his right before pawing his t-shirt off, it being tossed across his jacket.  As he slipped off his Vanns, I took the opportunity to scan his body. Mass expanses of taut muscle ripped beneath ivory skin, veins bulging along his arms.

Leaving his jeans in place, Finn gently straddled my frame, being sure to collect his weight on his knees, bracing himself on his forearm beside my head; his free hand gently cupped my cheek his thumb swiping affectionately along my cheek as he brought out lips together once more.  A little more accustomed to the fire coursing through my body, I managed to react, gliding my hand over his shoulder into his hair as the other admired the marble muscle of his abdomen.

A deep, primal growl vibrated through Finn’s chest as I gently pulled at his chocolate strands. A twinge of pride blossomed in my chest that I had produced that reaction from him.  The thought alone sent a burning blush across my cheeks, he was here with me, and he was touching me, kissing me!

“Are you sure ya want this with me darling?” the question was husky in my ear as he pushed my hair away exposing my neck. I knew what his question referred to. In my 25 years of life, I had yet to find any man to hold my interest long enough to even consider the possibility of sex, until I met Finn. Despite our age difference, Finn and I connected began dating.  For the first time, I felt comfortable sharing my secret with a man.  He was shocked at first, but then a sense of pride overcame him when I explained that I would like him to be my first, Finn seemed almost honored.

“I’m sure” I gasped as he sucked along my collarbone my hand flying to hold his head to hold it in place to continue the sweet sensation “God, I love you, Finn.”

Finn gently rolled off of me, offering a sweet smile. “I love you darlin’. So much.” He gently kissed along my neck “I’m gonna take my time wit ya, make ya as happy as you make me.”

He covered my smile with another kiss, one hand gently working its way down to my jeans. As Finn unsnapped the button, my body seemed to freeze anxiously. Finn noticed and softly used his fingertips to stroke the skin of my stomach softly. As my body began to relax my mind became worried.

‘What if I didn’t react the way I should? The way Finn expected? I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. What if it didn’t feel good or what if I didn’t feel anything?! What if I had to fake an orgasm? How do you fake an orgasm? Maybe I should stop him. Yes, I should stop him and tell him I don’t feel well. Tell him we can pick back up tomorrow, that should give me enough to do some research maybe watch some porn and-’

“Holy fuck!”

The loud cry startled both me and Finn as my body arched off the bed, toes curling as my fingers gripped on the bedsheets beneath me. My body was buzzing almost as if I had touched an electric fence but instead of a shock of pain, my body was pulsating with pleasurable needle pricks. Finn’s fingers stilled at my clit, as his other hand covered my mouth.

“Shh” Finn chuckled as he observed my body’s reaction; my clenched thighs, stiff frame, goose-bumped flesh. “Feel good?”                                                                                                                                                                

I could only nod; Finn chuckled pressing his lips to my forehead before he began to work his fingers. We both cursed simultaneously as he slipped a finger inside, his thumb swiping across my clit causing my breath to catch in my throat.

“So tight.” He groaned out, reaching for the neck of my shirt he tugged it down pulling my breast from my bra. I mewled in pleasure as he pumped and swirled the digit inside while sucking feverishly on my nipple. Finn set a steady pace and soon I relaxed into the pleasurable feeling, falling back into the pillow a moaning mess. I felt Finn release my nipple with a pop, through hooded eyes I could see him smirking up at me.  Pressing our lips together I moaned as his tongue swiped between my lips, exploring.  Finn swallowed down the screech that left my mouth as he unexpectedly introduced a second finger into my opening, my wetness helping coax the new member snugly into the hold.

I inhaled sharply through my nose at the searing stretch, as Finn peppered kisses along my neck.

“So good darlin’” he whispered “Such a good girl taking Daddy’s fingers .”

“Fuck” I whispered feeling a swirl of arousal and a flush of heat encase my body at his words.

“Oh God” I moaned arching my back as Finn quickened his pace. His thumb was rubbing deliberate circles across my clit, alternating between harsh and whisper light swirls as his palm ground into the sensitive bud upon entry. My feet planted on the bed, raising my hips to meet the thrusts of his fingers desperate for more. A knot was forming in my lower abdomen pulling tighter and tighter, teetering on the edge of agonizing teasing and eye-rolling bliss.

“Good girl” he whispered huskily combing my hair back. “Breath baby, deep breaths.”

It was then I noticed my breathing was choppy and uneven. I closed my eyes and nodded, I inhaled deeply and released the breath feeling my body slightly relax with adequate oxygen flowing through my veins seemed to heighten the pleasure.

“Oh, Finn” I whined, “I can-I feel..”

“I know it, sweetheart, I know” he hummed pressing a kiss to the base of my throat, gently nibbling at the skin. “Just let go.”

The knot snapped, had been pulled to tight to withstand any more strain. With the snap of the knot, I cried out my body shivering and shaking from the explosion. Every sense was increased tenfold as my body withered in Finn’s arms.

“Wow”

I heaved, my chest erratically heaving with each breath I took as I swallowed hard to keep my heart from bursting from my throat, my legs still shivering.

“Enjoy yaself did ya?” Finn chuckled pressing a kiss into my hair.

I nodded.  Turning on my side to face him, I captured his lips with mine in a gentle kiss, our lips maneuvering together sensually. My fingertips gently traced down his abdomen reaching for his waistband.

“Woah darlin’. Easy.” Finn stopped me, gently grabbing ahold of my wrists.

“I thought..”

“Love” Finn chuckled “You were chocking da hell out of two fingers.” He held up said two fingers, in Bullet Club like fashion before slipping them between his lips, a whimper falling from my lips at the sight. “We’ll ease into it,” he suggested sitting up straighter and feather softly, kissing my shoulder “See what your body likes and doesn’t. Explore our options. We’ll get there.”

“But what about you?” I nodded toward his bulge straining against his jeans.

He shrugged nonchalantly “not the first time. I’ll handle it.”

I smiled at his words watching as he excused himself to the bathroom. I relaxed into the pillows, feeling my eyes droop and limbs become heavy.

“Here luv, let me” Finn gently helped me rid the remainder of my clothes, pulling one of his shirts down in their place. As I laid back Finn gently spread my legs, placing one on his lap, the other behind him, bringing a warm washcloth to my core. I shuttered as the feeling my body still sensitive, he smirked at the reaction. Once cleaned up, Finn discarded the cloth, took a quick shower and turned off the lights. I curled into his warmth nuzzling my head into the crook of his neck.

“Thank you Finn” I whispered, “most guys I know wouldn’t have been as patient or considerate.”

“My pleasure luv.” He pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead before tilting my chin to reach my lips.

I smiled into the kiss, playing his earlier words over in my mind.

’11:15’                                                                                          

Glowed back at me from my desk across the room, reminding me I had only fallen asleep half an hour ago before being jolted awake by the thunder I assume.  Begrudgingly I kicked the blankets off my bare legs and sat straight, grounding my palms into my eyes in annoyance.

Thud.

I peaked over my fingers to my closed door as the sound vibrated through the house.  My foggy, sleep brain was slow processing the possibilities, maybe the wind?

Thud. Thud.

I stood from my bed and softly opened the door. The cabin was dark, soft shadows dancing through the windows creating softer grey shapes amongst the walls as the danced with the storm outside. My bare feet took the steps one by one, being careful to skip over the one that creaked obnoxiously, number 14 on my ‘at home to do list’ that seemed to be ever growing.

Once I reached the landing I peeked around the corner into my kitchen, all seemed to be in place.

THUD

My body jumped at the much louder disturbance just to the right of me.  Stepping into the dining room I released a sigh at the root of my problem; swaying back and forth on their hinges, my French doors stood agape, rain and wind spluttering inside from the gaping opening to the outside.  I skidded against the wet wood floors and managed to latch the doors shut before I glared down at the mess at my feet.

After drenching three towels, I tossed the laundry into the bin and trudged back up the stairs to my room stretching my neck of the stress settling in my bones.

“bout time”

My body jolted and a scream left my lips as my body registered the tall, muscled frame standing before my window.

“Easy lil bit”

The voice chuckled catching my small fist as it swung through the air aimed at the perp. They stepped forward a chuckle falling past their smirk and a beer, no doubt from my fridge, in their hand.

“Jesus Arthur” I sighed releasing the tension in my body as I fell into his bare chest “you scared me to hell and back.”

“Sorry doll” he mumbled using his much larger hand to guide my face up to his. His lips were tart with salt and his hair held the grit of the ocean as I explored him, desperate to get reacquainted with the man I missed so much.

Arthur set his beer bottle aside, now devoting both his hands to my body slipping beneath my sleep shirt. A whine escaped my lips as he jostled us, pulling me up his frame to wrap my legs around his trim, tattooed waist, a hand moving back to caress my head the other firm around my waist .

I got lost in his kiss, savoring the taste of sea salt and beer that embodied Arthur’s persona so perfectly. His lips left mine to pepper kisses along my neck, his beard tickling the sensitive skin creating goosebumps in their wake.  Suddenly, I was dropped onto my bed, Arthur’s body still entwined with mine, his bulging biceps straining as they caught his weight as to not crush me.

“You left the door open downstairs” I gasped, tangling my fingers into his thick, mane as he latched onto my throat. “bout broke my damn neck on the wet floor.”  Arthur lightly bit my flesh in response.

“You really want to talk right now” Arthur growled, grounding his core between my legs.

I pulled his lips back to mine in response the kiss rough and desperate as we both shed our remaining clothes.

Arthur’s arm was tight around my waist as his free hand swirled affectionately against my ribs, my nose tucked into the junction of his neck and shoulder.

“So how are things down below?”  I mumbled, running my leg along his beneath the covers.

“Good” Arthur nodded, the tone in his voice coated with hope “Finally getting things in order.”

“But still bad enough to have to keep me a secret?” I whispered, focusing my gaze on a particular pattern in Arthur’s tattoo.

Arthur’s chest rose and fell with the heavy breath he released.

“Its complicated” Arthur began with a shake of his head, raking a hand through is hair  “Even now there are some that still think like Orm did, hate the surface world and everyone in it. I don’t want to-“

“Put you in danger” our voices echoed together, having heard this time and time again since Arthur’s return to Atlantis. I blinked back the tears that burned my vision “I know, I just miss you is all.”

Arthur sighed sadly “I miss you too sweetheart” he pressed a kiss into my hair “more than you can imagine.

I bite my lip and sat up out of Arthur’s embrace as the tears began to slip down my cheeks, the tightness in my throat constricting my air.

I stood, yanking on a t-shirt and loose shorts prepared to escape downstairs when Arthur’s arms trapped me to him.

“Hey, hey” he soothed tucking my hair behind my ear “What’s going on?”

I shook my head, my hand covering my mouth to keep my tears at bay.

“Hey look at me” Arthur ordered in a soft but stern voice. Our eyes met. “Talk to me, what wrong?”

“Atlantis” I spat out, the city’s name tasting like vinegar in my mouth. “After all you’ve done, how much you’ve proved yourself worthy of being king and there’re still those that are blinded by hatred. That they would hate me, they would hate-“

I turned away cupping my mouth to keep a sob, or bile, at bay.

“Babe,” he said softly pulling me to his chest. “Where’s this coming from?”

I steadied my breathing, my eyes tracing over the intricate pattern adorning his abdomen, taking my time to focus on the ink work and steady my breathing before I reached his eyes.

“I’m pregnant”

Moments passed, Arthur’s eyes grew in size as he stared at me. I could almost see the wheels turning in his brain.

“Please” I begged my voice breaking as I reached for one of his hands in hope for a response “Please say something.”

“Say it again.”

I blinked up at him in confusion as he squeezed my hand in return, prompting me once more.

“Say it again?”

I reached for both his hands, placing them on my lower abdomen on the firm bulge that could have passed as the result of an all you can eat taco bar.

“I’m pregnant, Arthur.”

I had to blink rapidly, blinded by the large, white smile that broke out over Arthur’s tan face.

“Pregnant! When did you find out? How far are you? Oh my God, you’re pregnant!” he spluttered out questions one after another as he fell to his knees, face level with my stomach.

“I found out about a month ago, after your last visit. I’m about 10 weeks.”

His grin looked as if it would split his face in two, his eyes shining through slithers as his cheeks crinkled around his eyes. He gently pulled up my tshirt and lowered the waistband of the shortss, he took a moment and just gazed at my belly. Gently, he pressed his lips to my navel repeatedly before he looked back at me and stood straight, his hands remaining on my stomach.

“I love you” he beamed pressing his lips to mine feverishly. “I love you, I love you!”

Arthur tightened his arms around my waist before lifting me from the floor and spinning me his laugh booming off the walls in joy. 

“We’re gonna be parents!” my feet found the floor again “Baby you’re gonna be a mama and I’m gonna be a dad, I mean a cool dad, not an embarrising-”

 He studied my face his expression falling slightly at my lack of excitement.

“Why aren’t you thrilled about this?” Arthur chuckled awkwardly “Baby you’re pregnant! We’re gonna have a baby! You and me!”

“That’s what I’m scared about” I admitted pulling away from his grasp “Atlantis will hate our baby, just because they came from me! Think of how they saw you and you’re half Atlantian. They basically exiled you, your own people because you were different! What will they do when they find out your heir is only a quarter Atlantian? You said so yourself the council was pushing for you to marry, Atlantis is gonna want a full blood as their leader, not my baby! “

My face served as the battleground of my emotion, tear-stained and flushed with a trembling bottom lip. My arms ghosting around my abdomen protectively as my gut twisted sickeningly at the thought of anyone hurting my child emotionally or physically, especially my child’s own people.

“Sweetheart,” Arthur said softly stepping toward me, his expression torn and dejected. He hated seeing my cry, he always voiced it when I cried over The Notebook, in that situation Arthur knew what to do; cuddle me with beer and pizza before we ended the night in the bedroom. But this? Arthur woulnd’t have a clue how to fix this.

I stepped into his open embrace, allowing what was left of my guard to crumble. I cried softly into his chest as he held me tight, his fingers running along my spine soothingly. The tips of my fingers curved into the cords of muscle in his back, desperatly clinging to him. Once I wept the last of my tears, Arthur pulled me back to lock eyes.THe swirls of blue and gold were lit with emotion; determination and devotion.

“Do you trust me?”

I nodded dumbly, afraid to speak in fear that my voice would break. And I did. I had known Arthur for most of my life. We grew up together on the water, his father a lighthouse keeper mine a fisherman. When the rest of our classmates pointed and made fun of us, Arthur especially, we would reciprocate by spending our time swimming with dolphins and playing tag with fish, I trust him and his gift with my life. When Arthur took his throne, I trusted he would come back for me and forsake all others in my absence, he did that.

“Then trust that I will do everything in my power to protect you, both of you.” He ended the comment pressing his palm to the small swell of my belly.  “Atlantis has changed and for the better, they will be more welcoming of my heir than you would think.” Arthur smiled affectionately.  “They will love you both, how could they not?”

“Arthur” I shook my head “Atlantis doesn’t even know about me! The council told you to keep me a secret because they were afraid of how the people would react for this very reason, I don’t think Atlantis would be ready for a ruler with any less Atlantian blood. How are they gonna handle the news their now beloved king is sneaking out at night to warm the bed of a land walker” I sniffed “And besides you said so yourself, there’s still those that openly hate the surface. What do you think they would do to our child?”

Arthur’s face fell at my question as if he had forgotten about the rotten apples poisoning his tree. From the stories I had heard, I had no doubt those with ill intent toward the surface would have no moral dilemma in ridding Atlantis of anyone with surface blood.

“Not a damn thing that’s what. All the more reason for me to beat their asses out of Atlantis”  Arthur growled, pulling me back towards the bed. “I don’t want you thinking about any of that. Its not good for the baby.”

“Oh so now you’re an expert Mr. ‘I’ve known I’ll be a dad all of five minutes.’?”

I smiled adoringly up at him.

“Details, details” Arthur scoffed pulling my body to his under the covers.

We lay side by side, legs intertwined, his hand on my belly as he tucked my head under his chin. With Arthur wrapped around me I felt all my earlier worries melt away, I knew Arthur would do everything in his power to ensure our safety. God, how I wish he could stay above water a little longer.

“I don’t want you to worry sweetheart” Arthur’s voice rumbled through his chest “I’m gonna have someone keeping an eye on you all the time. No one is gonna touch you or our lil minnow.”

I chuckled at the nickname as we casually talked about our baby. What would they look like? What would we name them?  Who would they grow up to be?

When I opened my eyes the darkness of night was kissing the warm oranges and yellows of the morning as the sun and moon shared the sky for the briefest moment. I stretched my arms out only to be met with a cool bed. My eyes snapped out the window toward the ocean to see the lone figure walking along the beach toward the water. His broad shoulders stark against the rising sun, as he reached the lapping water he paused and seemed to turn his head and look directly at me. After a sorrowful moment, the body turned back toward the water and began to descend into the depths and within a blink of an eye, his body had disappeared from view and back to the world below like so many times before. Another night hid away between us.

I sighed heavily already missing Arthur. As I fell back into the bed I felt crumpling beneath my head. I retrieved the crumpled note with scratchy handwriting.

‘I’ll be back soon. Take care of yourself lil mama and the minnow. Love you both so much.

-Arthur

I gently reached down and cupped the small bump, rubbing my thumb along it soothingly.

“I guess its just you and me for a little while minnow.”

“Well I’m certainly glad Madam Pomfrey was able to fix your hair” I giggled ruffling my fingers through Fred’s fiery locks as we settled at a table in the Gryffindor common room, flicking my wand at the radio to turn to it on low. The twin’s attempt to enter the Triwizard tournament had left them both with heads full of fluffly white hair and Merlin worthy beards to match. “You know I’m quite fond of gingers.”

“Well if anything” Fred smirked stretching his long limbs high above him and interlocking his fingers “You got to see how devilishly good looking I’ll be even in my old age. Still the better looking twin, eh?” He finished with a wink.

“Hmm” I began tapping my finger against my chin “I don’t know. George’s beard was quite lovely.” Fred’s face showed a mask of horror and shock before lunging at me.

“You little minx!”

A joyous shriek barely left my mouth as Fred launched at me his limber fingers curling into my side as I erupted into laughter. The impact of Fred’s pounce knocked me backward along with the chair I had been sitting in. Fred braced our impact keeping me from knocking my head on the stone floor before resuming his attack on my sensitive sides, burying his face into the crook of my neck. Our laughter mixed together creating a joyous melody, to hear it was to smile.

We gained the attention of the others in the common room, some rolling their eyes at our antics, others giggling. Fred and I were an unusual couple according to the halls of Hogwarts, he the notorious quidditch playing prankster I the studious bookworm. Two halves so very different, yet fit each other perfectly.

“Ok, Ok” I gasped through laughs “I give!”

I could feel Fred smirk against my throat before peppering a few kisses into my skin and offering a victorious smirk as he sat back up offering me his hand to pull me back up. I glanced around my curls a mess, cheeks flushed as I bowed my head in embarrassment, many of the other Gryffindor’s had left due to our shenanigans.

I cleared my throat, combing my fingers through my curls in an attempt to tame the stray pieces before turning to the table “Lets finish this Charms essay, yeah?”

Fred let out an overdramatic groan before agreeing, reaching down for his bag. I had already flipped to the marked page of the oversized leather-bound book and pulled out a fresh sheet of parchment, a pot of ink and the peacock feather quill Fred had bought me last Christmas.

“What’s this?” Fred questioned.

I chuckled under my breath scratching down the first line of my paper.  Our usual study dates were littered with multiple occasions of Fred looking to distract me to prevent us from actually doing any work.

“It's not going to work Freddie” I mused “We really need to finish this paper befo-“

My words were cut short as I looked to see Fred holding an empty flask.

Oh no, it must have fallen out of my robes when Fred knocked us to the ground! Think, girl, think!

“Mummy fly dust,” I said smoothly before turning back to my paper “I needed it for the aging potion.”

My stomach lurched and my throat tasted of acid at how easily the lie slid between my lips. The first lie I had ever told Fred.

“No” Fred’s voice was lack of any usual amusement or the ghost laughter as he shook his head, he was serious. “I was the one to sneak into Snape’s storage room and get the ingredients, remember? Mummy fly dust wasn’t one of them.”

I bit my lip, my brain scrambling to come up with a suitable answer. A suitable lie.

“Elara, answer me.”

But I had no answer. I was too prideful and ashamed to answer with the truth. The pit of my stomach began to form a large hole. I wish it would it swallow me up and when I wake up in the morning this entire year would be a dream, a normal school year with no Triwizard tournament.

Fred kneeled beside me, grabbing my hands and forcing me to look at him. Seeing Fred Weasley with a serious look on his face was bizarre.  Like Hermione failing an exam, or like myself, the clever, top marks student, making a potions “mistake”, bizarre.

“Please tell me you didn’t..” Fred’s face was bewildered “You didn’t intentionally do this, did you?”

The desperate tone in his voice broke me. I bowed my head using my dark curls to hide my face as more tears appeared. He was going to be furious and hurt. I doubt I would be able to get him to see the situation as I did.

“I didn’t want you to enter” I admitted as Fred stood to his feet turning his back on me, his frame tense. “People die in this tournament Fred! I didn’t want to lose you. There was a chance the potion would have worked and would have been chosen and..”

“So you screwed with the potion?”

I nodded.

“Do you not see what George and I were doing it for?” Fred boomed, standing to his full height a passionate fire in his eyes. “A thousand Galleons Elara! Enough to help open up the shop. Did that ever occur to you?”

“Of course it did!” I retorted back standing to my feet although it had little impact compared to Fred’s tall stature “But I would rather you be here, alive, than dead with a joke shop! Please don’t be angry with me Freddie please” my tone pleading as I reached for his hand, desperate for some form of contact.

“I have every right to be angry with you Elara!”

I could practically see the steam pouring out of Fred’s ears, his face matching the color of his hair.

“I know but” I sighed yanking my hands through my hair “Think of it from where I’m standing! I didn’t want to risk you getting hurt or worse!”

“Didn’t want to risk it?” he spat “That wasn’t up to you! It was my decision!”

“ I was just looking out for the two of you,” I whispered

“Well, I don’t need my girlfriend trying to protect me a’right? I am a bloody grown man I can make my own decisions and take care of myself. But you take the chance away from too, didn’t you? Smart little Elara is always right, best let her make all the decisions for everyone cause she knows everything” he growled mockingly. “You should have just stayed focused on your books!”

My bottom lip quivered and my eyes burned at his accusatory tone. Fred’s long legs carried him back to the table. He grabbed his belongings and shoved them into his bag hastily mumbling under his breath. I timidly walked to him reaching for his tense shoulder.

“Don’t!” he spat jerking from my touch, a rough sigh scratching past his lips. “Just don’t touch me. I can’t even bear to look at you right now.”

My heart felt as it had been shattered in my chest, the pieces falling into the gaping hole in my stomach. I had never heard these words pass Fred’s lips before, maybe some harsh words towards the Slytherins but never something so hurtful let alone directed at me.

“You destroyed my dreams El, my future. How am I supposed to put up with that? If Dumbledore’s age line had worked that would have been one thing, chalk it up to at least Georgie and I tried. But you, you made sure we didn’t stand a chance at all!”

“You can still open up a shop-“ I whimpered my voice sounding like a child’s.

“Doesn’t matter” Fred shook his head a new sobering mood flooding his face “Money isn’t an easy thing for us” he shook his head glumly “ not like it is for you.”

“Fred I’m sorry!”

“That’s the thing isn’t it?” He glanced at me, his gaze icy cold. “You’re not. You know exactly what you were doing and what the outcome would be. You knew how badly George and I wanted this and you pissed away our opportunity. You made sure we didn’t stand a chance!”

Slinging his bag to his shoulder Fred readied to enter the doorway for the boy's dorm.

“Freddie please, can’t we talk about this” I begged reaching for him and barely touching his wrist.

“There’s nothing left to say.” Fred shook his head again staring at the ground “I can’t talk about it anymore. Not with you.”

He swiftly turned on his heel and ran up the stairs to the boy’s dormitory. I rushed after him, desperate to try and make things right. However, as I made it to the fifth step, the stairs retreated creating a steep, slippery slope. I scrambled on my feet before finally falling to my knees and sliding back down to the landing.

I chocked for air as a sob erupted through my body barely making it to the couch as I buried my face in my hands. All the tension and stress of the day had reached its breaking point. I had never seen Fred that upset and to have it directed at me made me feel so much worse.

Blindly, I managed to climb the stairs to my dorm and fell into my bed, Charms essay be damned. My body was so incredibly sore. The tension and worry I had been enduring all day had left my bones weighing tons, muscles aching, eyes burning.

 It had been weeks.

The morning following the fight I entered the Great Hall to see Freddie conversing with George and Lee with a mouthful of bacon. I took my seat beside him and went to press a kiss to Fred’s cheek only to have him turn his head away nonchalantly. I frowned but turned to my plate trying to play it off the hurt. I ate quietly.

The air was awkward and tense; no doubt Fred had told George and Lee about my sabotage of the potion.  The twins didn’t even acknowledge me, as I glanced at Lee he gave me a tight, thin lip smile before turning back to his oatmeal and toast.  My insides were a bundle of electricity and apprehension. Slyly, I slipped my hand from my lap and inched it closer to Fred’s hand that was resting on his thigh.  As my fingers brushed his skin he pulled back and stood up along with George before leaving without a second glance.

Then the pranks came.

At first, they were simple and I welcomed them as some sort of connection to Fred, as a sign that he wasn’t mad at me, he still didn’t speak or even look at me for that matter. I treasured the pranks all the more. I could handle my normal cobalt ink being replaced with disappearing ink or my essays coming up missing, replaced with illogical writings and rants and even my quill becoming jinxed to start writing absurdity on its own during class. Things began to accelerate as the pranks began to interfere with my grades.

My curls were tied back into a bun, stray pieces springing loose here and there as my eyes studied intently over the potions book page. A perfect Draught of Living Death simmering before me as I measured out the last of my materials.

I frowned as I came to my last ingredient. My powdered root of asphodel looked considerably dark and especially clumpy.  Come to think of it, my entire canister of powdered root looked darker and lumpy. It was this time I missed having the twins and Lee by myside. At least then I could ask their opinion, that is if they were talking to me and not seated at the furthest table from me.

“Awaiting for the potion to make itself Miss Cross?” came Snape’s dark, snarky voice.

“Erm no sir-“

Flustered by the sudden scrutiny I added the root to the cauldron.

A loud boom echoed through the dungeon of the castle, an ominous, thick cloud of black encased the classroom along with the contents of my potion scorching and covering me in soot and ash. I coughed, eager to clear my lungs and throat of the grainy coal. My body shook, shock racking my frame as adrenaline coursed through me at the sudden explosion.

Snape’s expression was less than pleased, sporting a scowl as he gripped my upper arm and pulled me from my seat, his fingers digging in further into my arm than I would like. Keeping his eyes locked with mine, Snape snatched my jar of potion ingredients and took a sniff.

“Puruvian darkness powder” he sneered. “Do you take me for a fool Miss Cross?”

“N-no sir” I answered in a scratchy voice, tears pooling in my eyes at the ruined potion, embarrassment and no-doubt harsh punishment I was to receive.

“Or are you that much of a naïve, arrogant, blithering embosil that you think it unwise to check your ingredients before adding them to a potion? Its healing you pursue is it not?”

I fought past my clenching throat to nod and answer “Yes sir”

“Then might I suggest checking ingredients before you end up killing someone rather than healing them.” Snape sneered released his bruising grip with a push, my feet stumbling on themselves as the potion’s master stalked over me. I felt a painful stab in my heart at his words. A loud screech filled the room. With an overturned chair at his feet, Fred stood his face reddening as he stared down Snape, George holding a firm grip on his twin. Snape returned Fred ’s gaze.

“100 points from Gryffindor, Miss Cross detention for the next week starting tonight, as well as a failure for this portion of the course.”

My throat constricted uncomfortably, I couldn’t fail this potion. It was worth so much of my grade!

“B-but professor” I stuttered desperately.

“Silence” Snape retorted harshly.

I swallowed hard, my vision blurred as tears flooded my eyes. The classroom was quiet as my classmates stared back at me. As I caught a pair of familiar brown orbs, the dam broke. I quickly grabbed my bag and ran out of the classroom, ignoring Snape’s angry barks to come back.

My chest heaved as I finally made it to the door, the path seeming so long from my seat near the front of the class, before I was stopped by Peeves.  As I attempted to step around him, the poltergeist blocked my path.

“Peeves please” I begged through a whisper, keeping my head tucked down.

“Oooh, Miss Cross’ feeling cranky. What is it this time, my fine Criss-Crossy friend? A B on a paper? Second in your class? Fighting with Weasley?” He sang making my cheeks burn under the dark ash.

I felt my lips fall into a deeper frown at the mention of Fred.  

“Oh, Miss Criss-Cross looks a little under the weather” Peeves sang before snapping his fingers, a clap of thunder erupted as a dark cloud formed above my head before the rain began to pour down, drenching my form. “Now no one can tell Criss-Cross’ tears from the rain!” he continued to cackle as the rain and my tears smeared the ash.

I ducked away and took off down the hall, climbing the staircase back to Gryffindor common room.  I still had three classes scheduled for the day but I felt no desire to attend them nor to feel the stares I knew were bound to be awaiting me. After scrubbing myself clean I fell into my bed desperate for the peace of sleep. I had always been happy at Hogwarts, my adventures with the twins keeping my heart light and joyous. But now, I felt so alone, left with only my books which proved to be poor sources of happiness by themselves.

As my body hit the mattress, a pop was heard before a putrid smell burned my nostrils. I jumped up and covered my mouth desperate to keep the bile at bay as the stench invaded my senses. Pulling up my mattress, I discovered the evidence of a dungbomb. My eyes burned, but I felt as if there were no tears left to spill. After today, the pranks only seemed to remind me of my failures. My failure at potions, my failure with Fred. I wondered how much longer this could possibly continue, or better yet, how much longer I could take it.

 Christmas eve came quickly bringing with it the Yule Ball. In lieu of the gown and heels, I decided to spend the evening with Madam Pomfrey in the hospital wing. Since the fight with Fred, I had spent the allotment of my free time with her, learning all I could about healing.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go down to the ball dear?” Madam Pomfrey asked for the tenth time that evening, wiping her hands on her apron.

“I’m sure” I smiled softly, tapping my wand at the roll of bandages watching as it intricately wrapped around the first year's ankle, as she glared humorously at the high heels in her lap.

Most of the night had been filled with twisted ankles and stepped on toes, hair disasters and last-ditch attempt to lose weight. But nothing too extreme, allowing for Madam Pomfrey to let me take the lead and retiring early for the night.  

Two hours into the ball, the traffic through the wing had slowed down and I began the task of cleaning and putting away supplies. I was humming softly along with the band playing in the great hall, their music filling every corner of Hogwarts. Behind me, I heard the door open.

“Twisted ankle or stepped on toes?” I asked as I counted out varies supplies.

“How about a broken heart?”

I turned around at the familiar voice, feeling my heart clench at the sight. A tall lanky figure dressed in navy dress robes, complimented with shaggy red hair and warm brown eyes that were pooled with a sadness I had never seen before.

“Got another dung bomb do you?” I quipped turning my back to him to hide my tears.

“El” Fred spoke softly, the warmth of his chest comfortably radiating onto my back. “I’m so sorry about that. I-“

“forget it” I moved away from him to begin making up a bed “shouldn’t you be at the ball?”

“I left once I noticed you weren’t there.” He said softly, walking to the opposite side of the bed. “What’s the point if my best girl isn’t there?” he attempted a smile, only to result in a twitch of the lip.

I scoffed fluffing up the pillow and tucking the loose ends of the sheets in.

“Elara please” Fred spoke in a pleading tone catching my wrist in his hand. “I’m sorry. Please, talk to me!”

“You’ve had plenty of chances to talk Fredrick Gideon Weasley!” I barked yanking my hand away, our eyes meeting “But instead you decided to pull pranks.”

My chest was heaving, tears tickling “Over and over, prank after prank.” My voice cracked, I turned away from him covering my face. “Why? Why do that to me?”

A rush of mint and spices fogged my senses as Fred wrapped his arms around me, a comfort I had missed in these long weeks apart.

“I didn’t know what to say” he whispered softly into my hair. “I thought I could use the pranks to bug you until you finally spoke to me again. I never wanted any of this to happen, especially being away from you this long.”      

I took a few deep breaths to steady my breathing, relishing the warmth of Fred’s body before he pulled away.

“Are you done here?” he asked brown eyes looking over the empty wing.

“I would imagine so.” I mused glancing at the bare beds. “Why?”

Fred offered out his hand “Do you trust me?”

I studied the thin, long fingers and lines of his palm in thought. Gingerly, I placed my hand in his before we took off through the hallways of Hogwarts ending up on the astronomy tower. I gasped as I took in the view before me. Against the black sky, were twinkling stars dancing with falling snowflakes, the image being mirrored off the Black Lake. Even in the tall tower, the music of the ball could still be heard.

“Dance with me”

“Fred” I blushed madly “I’m not dressed to dance! I’m in my jumper and-“

“I don’t care” he smiled “you’re still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

I blushed madly, gently taking Fred’s hand as he pulled me gently by the waist. A deep rumble reverberated through his chest as he hummed along to the music.

We gently swayed together, the ginger being much more limber and poised on his feet than I would have expected. I was surprised when Fred spun me around, bringing me back close to his frame. I rested my head gently on Fred’s chest feeling his cheek rest atop my head.

“I guess this is why I could never find out who you were going to the ball with.” Fred chuckled. “I was planning to hex the bloke and have Lee and Georgie throw ‘im into the broom closet with some redcaps.” 

“Oh Merlin” I playfully groaned at his antics.

“I suspected Merlin would have been your first choice, given as how you talk about him all the time” The ginger rolled his eyes

I giggled snuggling further into his chest. “If I wasn’t going with you, I didn’t want to go. Was afraid I would see you snogging some girl in the corner.”

Fred hummed “Sorry, but my lips have become spoiled to you sweetness” Fred laughed pressing a warm kiss to my cheeks, my nose and the corner of my lips earning a hearty giggle. When I opened my eyes to meet Fred’s gaze I was met with a look of adoration.

“I want to thank you,” Fred said softly “After watching the first task, “ Fred shook his head “You did me and George a favor” he chucked “We not TriWizard material.” He smirked coyly “We’re more lovers than fighters I s’pose.”

“Still” I mumbled, “I had no business interfering the way I did.” I pulled my head away to look at him, our eyes meeting, ready to give a proper apology.  “Fred I am so-“

Fred hushed me, pulling me back to his chest. “Let’s not talk about that now. What’s done is done. Can we both agree to forgive each other? Start anew?”

“I like the sound of that. I really missed you Freddie” I whispered, as a chilling wind pushed forth snowflakes to swirl around our frames creating goosebumps beneath my jumper.

“Here” Fred shrugged out of his navy robes and wrapped the billowing material around me before pulling me into his arms again. I hummed feeling myself fall into a lull of comfort surrounded by Fred’s warmth and smell. The tall ginger looked down at me with a smile, running his hands along my arms vigorously to create friction.

“Let's get you in front of a fire, aye? I think I’ve got some chocolate frogs stowed away. I’m willing to share!” Fred winked.

I hummed, appearing to be weighting my options. “I think I want somethig sweeter.”

I stood on my toes and pulled the towering, suprised Weasley closer to my height. I pressed our lips together , temporarily losing myself in the feel of warm skin and chapped lips. The clock tower bellowed in the distance as I pulled away staring up into adoring chocolate eyes. I smiled feeling the familiar swirl of school-girl gidiness I had always felt since my first encounter with the Weasley’s on the Hogwarts express. The hopeful smile Fred gave me destroyed my fears, we would be ok.

“Merry Christmas Freddie.”

A door slammed near me and I turned in the direction of the disturbance. A small, lanky man with sandy blonde hair and a hollow face grumbled as he jogged down the steps of the recruitment office. His blue eyes met mine, a scowl on his face.

“Rejected” he huffed adjusting his coat.

I closed my eyes and breathed a sigh of relief before taking off to catch up with him.

“Steve, I’m sorry. I know how much you want to go fight.” I soothed, looping my arm through his and hugging myself to his thin, stick-like arm.  In all honesty, I was glad Steve was rejected, even if it was for the third, fourth.. maybe the 5th time? I had grown up with Steve and he was one of my best friends. Once the war had started our other childhood friend Bucky had enlisted and Steve was eager as ever to join him. Although Steve’s health caused him to be rejected time and time again, a fact that frustrated him to no end. I for one was happy to know that he would stay on American soil, at least he would be safe, brokenhearted but safe.

“Its just not fair” Steve huffed again. “I have just as much to offer as any of those other guys! Maybe even more! It’s just not fair, Bucky gets to fight then you’re an army nurse..” he shook his head “what am I supposed to do to as a war effort?”

I smiled at his heart and passion and rolled my eyes playfully.

“How about a movie, huh?

‘Accepted, Accepted, Rejection, Accepted’

My nimble fingers sorted through the military health forms creating two stacks; one stack of men that would go overseas to fight the Nazi’s and the other, men who would have to support the war effort from home. I pressed my red painted lips into a thin line as I focused back on the papers.

“Good evening Justine” a thick, German accent greeted.

I greeted Dr. Abraham Erskine with a smile as he handed me a new file.

“I vill need special attention paid to dis file and a copy on my desk once de enlistment process is complete. I know our best girl is up to de task” he winked kindly.

“Right away sir” I smiled gently. The doctor thanked me and bid me goodnight with a  tip of his hat.

I opened the file and felt my smile fall.

Rogers, Steven

My eyes jumped to the bottom and I felt the tears blind my vision.

How could this happen?

There in bold letters, one of my worst fears, a dreaded moment I had convinced myself would never happen: Accepted

 A red smile stared back at me as I twirled before the mirror. A red dance dress encased my frame and my hair was styled in the latest fashion. A flutter of happiness buzzed in my body, a feeling that I had not felt in many months. In the long months since Steve’s enlistment I had received many letters although they did little to fill the gaping hole in my heart. Until almost a month ago, when I received a letter informing me that Steve was coming home. Although only for a night, he invited me out dancing. In that month, I worked double shifts doing everything I could to ensure that I would have that particular Friday night off and could go shopping for the event. And finally, here it was.

The dance hall was crowded numerous men in uniform twirling around their girls to the sound of the live band. I bit my lip expectantly as I stood on my toes in an attempt to peer over the heads crowding the hall. Suddenly, hands gripped my waist and a squeal left my lips as I turned to look at my captor.

“Bucky!”

I launched myself at the brunette as he chuckled in my ear embracing me in a warm hug.

“Look at you!’ I exclaimed holding him at arm’s length “You look great Buck!”

And he did. Bucky had seemed to fill out his frame with muscle and his face had lost the boyish charm he had left with and was now replaced with a strong handsomeness.

“Well if you think Buck looks good wait till you get a load of me.” A voice sounded behind me.

As I turned I looked at the stranger confused. He was tall, well-built with cords of muscle rippling under his uniform. Sandy blond hair perfectly combed and a baby blue eyes that could make Sinatra jealous. I felt a strange sense of recognition but couldn’t place it. I glanced at Bucky for help who only shook his head chuckling.

“I’m sorry do I know you?”

The blonde released a hearty laugh before approaching and grapping my hands bringing them close to his chest.

“Its me Justine” My grey eyes squinted taking in the stranger. Those eyes were so familiar not to mention his voice and that scar on his hairline…

“Oh my God” I breathed out in astonishment “Steve?”

A small scream left my mouth as I launched myself at him as well. I pressed my fingers deep into his back pressing him firmly into me just to prove that what my eyes saw were true. I hurrdily blinked back tears as I examined his face. His cheeks were fuller than their previous hollow appearance, his jaw still sharp, his smile still kind. I placed my hands along his face and smiled.

“My God it is you” the words came out in a choked whimper.

Steve only nodded before accepting me in his arms for another hug. I had so many questions, so many stories to tell. And yet, one question seemed to be more prominent that others.

“What happened to you?”

“I-“

“I’m afraid that’s confidential” A velvety English accent interrupted.

Now standing next to Steve was a brunette woman about my height with flaming red lips and entrancing eyes. Her aurora breathed confident, independent elegance. I felt my spin loose its poised stature that it once had under the eyes of the brunette woman.

“Justine, this is Peggy, Peggy Justine”

I nodded at the woman. Words seeming lost between my brain and mouth.

“Nothing personal” she continued, eyes directed at me “Army protocol I’m afraid.”

“Yes” I replied back, my voice sounding sharper than I intended “My father and brother are both in the army. I understand the protocol and confidentiality measures quite well.”

Peggy’s lips pulled into a tight line, a forced smile filling her cheeks.  Steve clapped his hands.

“Who’s ready to dance?”

At his question, I felt the envious green be washed away with the blossoming happiness, a smile splitting my face in two as I seemed to bounce on the balls of my feet. However, the smile quickly fell and my movements halted when Steve turned his back to me to offer his hand to Peggy before proceeding to the dance floor.

I could feel Bucky’s gaze on me as I swallowed down my happiness allowing the disappointment and hurt to take its place. Breathing deeply through my nose I released it through parted lips.

‘Its alright. He’ll come back, maybe he promised her the first dance. Don’t let it get you down.’

Nodding at my pep talk I glided through the crowd and managed to find an empty table in the back and sipped on a glass of  water waiting patiently for my turn to dance with my solider. My eyes focused on the couple watching as Steve grinned down at her adoringly and she snuck flirtatious shy glances up at him. Soon the view became blurry through unshed tears and I lowered my head to hide them.

“Sure seems to like her, huh?”  I glanced up at Bucky as we both gazed at Steve and Peggy.

Through a shaky breath I nodded. “Yeah, he does.”

“Wouldn’t it be nice” Bucky began making himself comfortable in the seat across from me “they go off and get married after we win the war. Steve deserves that. To be happy.”

I nodded gently pulling at the blistered wood of the table, anything to keep my mind off the words that Bucky was saying feeling that each word dug a deeper hole in my heart. I didn’t understand why I was feeling this way. Was it because I was used to always having Steve and Bucky’s attention? Or was it as simple as I hadn’t seen my best friend in months and the one night I had the opportunity, he hadn’t said a full two sentences to me?

A muffled chime of a clock grabbed my attention and I glanced at the dusty relic to see that almost two hours had passed. The night was waning on, not taking my wishes into consideration and the daunting fact I had a shift in the morning swam into my mind. Sighing I stood, smoothing out my dress in the process.

“I should go. I have a shift in the infirmary in the morning.”

“Go?” Bucky’s brows stitched in confusion “You haven’t even danced yet?”

I shrugged adjusting my coat as I stole another glance at Steve. “I guess I was just waiting for the right partner.”

“Be safe Buck” I kissed his clean shaven cheek before leaving.

I halted at the entrance, the school-girl part of my heart hoping that it would be like a movie. Mine and Steve’s eyes would meet and he would push through the crowd and take me in his arms. But his eyes weren’t meeting mine. His eyes were focused on her, his hand on her waist and her red finger nails grazing along his uniform as they stared at each other affectionately. I turned quickly on my foot and pushed my way out of the hall. As the cool night air hit my face I noticed the wetness on my skin and the rain covering the ground.

‘Well this is fitting for a movie’ I griped wrapping my arms around my torso to shield me from the drizzling rain and wind. I set toward the road to hail a cab home. Too consumed in my thoughts I barely noticed  the approaching.

“What’s got you upset dollface?”

“I’m just trying to get home” I said softly, keeping my eyes downcast.

“Home, huh?” the man stepped closer bringing with him the pungent stench of stale alcohol “Bet you got a warm bed huh?”

I pressed my lips tightly together, again trying to side step him only to be cut off again.

“Or maybe you don’t? Your lover boy off in the war?” he asked inching closer “ I could keep the bed warm for ya while he’s gone”

I slapped his hand away that had reached my waist. Our eyes met and through the drunkenness I could see anger. I attempted to step around the man’s frame yet again but he cut me off growling. “Im trying to be nice here doll and you’re think you can walk away?”

Tightness encased my throat before I realized the man had his large hand tightly gripping my throat as my back hit a fence. I clawed at his arms feeling the last of my oxygen leaving me. I scratched at the man, tearing my nails into his hand and arm. My body fighting against the steel of the metal fence creating  a metallic rustling that mixed with the rain.

 Suddenly the tightness was released and oxygen filled my lungs again as I fell to the ground a hiss passing my lips as the rocks scraped the skin of my knees, my hands holding my throat as I gasped in oxygen. To my right a large frame was throwing his fists into a huddled form. The taller I realized was Steve.

As I managed to bring myself back to my shaky feet Steve ran to my side.

“Jesus Justine” He breathed gazing at my neck, gently wiping at both the tears and rain that drenched my face “Are you ok?”

I felt my lip tremble at his words. In response to my silence he asked again.

“No!” I roared backing away from his touch stumbling to pull myself back on my feet. My lip trembled and I instantly missed the warmth of his skin. “No I’m not alright!”

Steve’s frown depend as he made a move to scoop me up.. “Lets get you to a hospital”

“No!” I yelled again curling into myself as the tears began to fall “I want to go home”

“Justine, you’re hurt” Steve tried to reason glancing at my bloody knees.

I scoffed “You hurt me worse than that jerk did.”

Steve’s expression looked heartbroken and confused.

“Do you know what I had to do to get this night off?” I began “Ive been pulling double’s for a month! Then I get here and you don’t even notice me! You’re this new tall, muscular stranger who only has eyes for Miss Peggy. I don’t know why you even invited me.”

“I missed you” he said softly before his voice gained enthusiasm “I wanted you to see what the Army did for me! I mean look ! I was able to protect you for once, not Bucky, me! And Peggy” he sighed wistfully “shes looking at me! She cares about me! I mean just look at me now.”

“yeah” I scoffed “I’m looking at you Steve Rogers. Let me ask you something did Miss Peggy even give you a second glance before you became” my hands gestured to the tall muscular figure “this.”

Steve looked grudgingly at the ground. “No one looked at me when I was the little guy. I was just a nothing getting tossed around from one bully to another. I was a nobody.”

A slap wrung out and I cradled my hand noticing Steve’s face barely moved to the side despite the slap. I pursed my lips and screamed as I held my throbbing hand. Steve made a move to come near me again but I backed away.

“I did” I whimpered as my back hit the fence “I saw you, loved you Steve. Even when you were a nobody. I loved you!”

Silence filled the moment despite the pelting of the rain and I stood in realization. That was it. I loved Steve. Always had. I loved Steve Rogers.

Steve’s expression was unreadable, his mouth agape. I sniffed before I gathered myself enough to move.

“Be safe Steve.”

Steve reached out and grabbed my wrist stopping me.

“Don’t. Just don’t. ” I said softly as he opened his mouth. His grip loosened around my wrist and I savored the feeling of his skin against mine as I pulled my hand through his grasp.

I had made it a few yards away when Steve’s voice wrung out.

“They gave me a serum.” His voice rang out. “They made me a super solider.”

I ignored his words and kept walking. Knowing that if I stopped I might not leave until he spoke again. 

“They’re sending me to Germany.”

My eyes closed and I stopped midstep at this statement as icy fear constricted my heart. Germany. The heart of this entire God-forsaken war. This day just wouldn’t end with the heartache. I turned back to face him. My heart clenched at the site. His blonde hair wet and sticking to his forehead, blue eyes cutting the dreary night sky desperation clear in the blue swirls. I quickly jogged back to him and wrapped him in my arms. Our wet clothes sloshing against one another as I allowed my tears to mingle with the rain. Steve’s arms were hesitant as they wrapped around me. As we pulled away our eyes met.

“Don’t do anything stupid, like getting yourself hurt” I whispered and with a brief moment of courage I took on my toes and placed a feather soft kiss to his cheek before I turned on my heel and made my way to the awaiting cabs that had lined up. As I shivered in the backseat of the cab I stole a glance back at the solider in the rain.

“My little man became a solider”I whispered

“Please be safe.”

Fluff (950ish words) Just a short something I thought was cute not my best work.

‘911-NICU’

I felt my breath hitch in my throat as I scanned the message across the small pager. I quickly excused myself from the nurses I was making rounds with and dashed to the stairwell taking two at a time. I had been a Nurse Practitioner at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital for the past few years.  I had been the first of very few Nurse Practitioners to be welcomed to the rainy Seattle with less than inviting arms.  Nurse Practitioners were still a new among most of the medical population seen as a new, mysterious species; a brain of a doctor heart of a nurse. I had specialized in Neonatal Intensive care and had post-masters in emergency pediatrics. The latter, a degree I had fought for in spite to try and prove my talent to my fellow coworkers. I wanted to prove that there was more to a nurse than taking vitals and bedpans. I had worked as a nurse since the young age of 21, earning my masters as I worked. By the time I passed my certification I already held more years of experience and knowledge than many doctors.

I finally reached the NICU floor and entered the secure area. My lungs burned and my heart pounded with adrenaline. My shoes skidding to a halt in front of the nurse’s station as I grabbed at my stethosope around my neck to steady it.

“Dr. Karev needs you in room 10” the nurse at the desk said urgently pointing in the direction of the room.

I nodded my thanks and raced to the room. My hands collecting my hair from my shoulder and making an attempt to twist it into a bun. My eyes scanned the room ready to delegate orders as needed, prepared to see a throng of scrubs scrambling around an incubator housing a small struggling baby. My brows furrowed together, my hands dropping my hair mid-twist as I entered the empty room to see Alex standing there expectantly.

“Wh-what happened? Am I too late?” I quickly glanced at my watch, a stone falling into my stomach at the thought “Was it the Logan twins?”

“No, no” Alex chuckled approaching me. He rubbed his hands along my arms soothingly, placing a chaste kiss to my forehead. “Nothing like that.”

I studied his face, confusion evident on mine “But my pager-“

“I wanted to talk to you.” Alex said simply, grabbing my hands and running his thumbs along the top of my skin. .

 I cocked my head at him confused, a slight panic running down my spine. Talk? We lived together, ate lunch together and saw each other at the work most of the time.  What made now so important? Something bad?

Alex wrung his hands together un-characteristically for him.  His shoulders rose and dropped as he took a deep breath before dropping to a knee before me. My heart seemed to stop mid beat.

“Alex?” I whimpered, my throat feeling like it was stuffed with cotton.

He gave me a nervous smile. “This is the room where I fell in love with you.” He began, his eyes scanning over the room.

“We had that 25 week old preme, our first case together. His stomach kept growing and we didn’t know why. You found out that his UVC was malpositioned leaking any infusions into his abdominal cavity when everyone else shrugged it off, all the fluid kept building and he couldn’t breathe. You jumped into action and intubated him without blinking an eye. You were dedicated,a freaking genius!” he beamed at his words before focusing back on me “And I was a goner, you broke down every wall I ever built and suddenly.. everything was about you.” He paused “I want to spend the rest of my life feeling that way.”

Tears wet my eyelashes as I blinked the water back furiously before choking out. “ Alex if this is some kind of joke it isn’t funny.”

He smiled graciously, his eyes creasing as a small laugh escaped his lips.

“Babe this is no joke.” Alex’s much larger hands gripped mine tightly

 “ You’ve become my world, my everything. I want to come home to you everyday. I was always afraid I would end up like my dad, never be able to do anything right when it came to family. But you? You make me a better person, a better doctor a better man. I want us to have kids, so many kids you use up all of those ridiculous baby names you like so much.” His grin spread even wider.

I grinned widely at his statement covering my mouth as a blush crawled up my neck.

“You’re amazing and I want to make sure you never forget that. And if I ever get out of line you can kick my ass back into shape but I promise Ill try to make those moments few and far between. So what do you say?” Alex’s hand dipped into his scrub top pocket and pulled out a black velvet box.

“Will you marry me?”

The finally escaped my lips as I filled my lungs with fresh air again, the tears spilling over my lashes as I nodded furiously.

“Yes yes yes” I chanted as Alex smiled brightly and stood wrapping me in his arms. My hands gripped onto his muscular back as I nestled my face into his neck allowing my tears to flow freely. Clapping erupted behind us. As our coworkers all stood smiling and offering congratulations.

“Alex!” Meredith whisper-yelled gaining Alex’s attention as she animatedly pointed  “The ring!”

“Oh! Right!”

Alex fumbled with the box before revealing the ring and slipping it on my finger.

“Alright enough with the mushy gushy show of affection don’t you people have patients” Dr. Bailey’s voice erupted causing the doctors and nurses to break away but not before shaking her head at the two of us.

“Don’t screw this up Karev.”

“Don’t worry” he smiled before turning to me, gently tucking a stray piece of hair away “I won’t”

“So” I began turning to fully face Alex” Dr. Karev, does the future Mrs. Karev get to kiss you now?”

Alex pressed his lips to mine and hummed “I like the sound of that” he kissed me again. “Mrs. Karev”

I grinned brightly before pushing myself onto my toes and running the tips of my fingers through the hair at the ends of his hair. Our lips meeting in a sweet, zealous kiss.

“you know” Alex murmured against my lips “I bet I can get us an on-call room for a few hours? Celebrate the occasion?”

I quirked an eyebrow at him.

“Race you there?”

“Objection, your honor! Relevance?”

“He called my witness’ character into question and suggested she was a part of a terrorist organization.” My five foot stature retorted back sharply as my brunette curls flew around me at the speed. My voice rising slightly to highlight the importance before turning slightly toward the defense and gesturing to him “He opened this door your honor and I intend to close it.”

A small smirk pulled at the older judge’s face.  The reputation of Kelly Barba’s was favored gossip in the judges’ chambers. They joked how for a woman of such small stature I could rule a courtroom with one expression, a force to be reckoned with especially in the court of law.

“Overruled”

I turned my attention back to my witness, Rafael chuckle slightly under his breath. Rafael had insisted he be my co-council despite how minute this case seemed. This was to be my last trial before the DA was placing me on mandatory maternity leave, an agreement we had reached much to my dismay. If I had it my way, I would be in court and have this baby right here on the marble tile while still receiving a conviction. I focused back on the task at hand and opened my mouth to inquire the next question whe-

There it was again.

An ache that started off dull before gaining momentum into a strong forceful cramp that kicked through my abdomen into my lower back. My entire body tensed at the feeling, eyes clenched shut and I took a sharp intake of breath my hand ghosting over the bump. Even with my back to my husband I could feel his intense green gaze leave his court notes and bore into me.

“Mrs. Barba” the judge called concerned “Are you alright?”

I nodded counting off the last twenty seconds in my head before the feeling slowly faded; I glanced at my watch to mentally record the time. After shuddering out a breath I straightened my spine and continued the questioning as I began to pace to work out the sore muscles in my abdomen. The questions continued along smoothly for the next fifteen minutes and then, like clockwork, the pain hit again.

“No more questions your honor” I bit out, grunting softly. “However, I would like to call for a recess.”

“A recess?” The judge asked with a humorous laugh “Mrs. Barba, it’s barely 10:30.”

“I realize the time your honor” I groaned softly as the wave of pain hit its peak and I reached behind me for support against the prosecution desk “But I don’t think my baby cares and if I’m right” I gasped again. “a recess would be greatly appreciated unless one of the jury members would like to catch this baby.”

I felt a hand ease around my waist as Rafi’s face appeared beside me. The concern etched in his face aged him by at least ten years, seeming to deepen the worry lines across his face. He gripped my hand which I squeezed tightly as the pain seemed to last longer. A horror stricken judge banged her gavel before declaring a recess until the prosecution could provide a new ADA.

“Your honor come on” the defense cried out as he stood, throwing his pen to the desk angrily “this is obviously a ruse by the prosecution for more time seeing as they have no case against my client.”

Rafael glared at the man and I could see an insult lying on his lips but I squeezed his hand to defuse his anger. We didn’t have time for this. Liv, Sonny, Finn and Amanda had stayed for the trial and were now standing, Finn keys in hand as the rest of the courtroom began to empty. As Rafael grabbed the briefcases I felt a ‘pop’ before a warm wetness coated my legs and dribbled down past my skirt onto the floor.

My eyes rose to meet the bewildered eyes of the defense attorney.

“In case you were wondering I don’t have a broken water bottle up there.”

Rafael stifled a laugh at my snark, shoving papers into the case, snapping it closed. before he and Sonny guided me to a squad car, believing it would be faster than waiting on an ambulance. Thanks to the blaring police sirens the crowds of Manhattan seemed to part like the red sea. I whimpered softly grabbing at Rafael’s hand.

“You’re doing so good Carino” he whispered kissing my hair. “Just breathe.”

Suddenly, the car lurched to a halt as Finn cursed mine and Rafi’s bodies jostling forward at the force.

“Traffic jam” Finn grumbled eyes peaking up through the review mirror before glancing around at the standstill traffic.

“Can you get to 32nd?” Liv asked from the passenger seat an edge to her voice as she took began to look around her mind pondering the next quickest route to the hospital.

“Cant’ bridge is been out for weeks” Finn replied back coolly.

“What? Is my wife supposed to give birth in the back of a squad car?” Rafael barked, sarcastic humor lacing his words.

“What do you want me to do councilor jump the curb onto the sidewalk?” Finn shot back locking eyes with Rafael through the rearview mirror.

“Well actually” Rafael challenged shrugging his shoulders as if it was an obvious answer.

Finn narrowed his dark eyes at Rafi. “Hold on councilors.”

I yelped as Finn indeed pulled the unmarked squad car onto the curb, bystanders crying out as they jumped out of the way of the moving vehicle bypassing the stagnant traffic. I clenched my eyes and cried out as another contraction hit, a new wave of dampness slicking my thighs. My brows furrowed and I pulled my skirt up slightly.  I whimpered at vibrant blood that coated my fingers.

“Rafi”

“What is-“ Rafael stopped mid-sentence as his eyes took in my frightened expression and the blood on my fingers. His face blanched.

Liv turned around in her seat and took in the scene. “Finn step on it.”

Within another 5 minutes of curbside driving and 4 of siren filled road speeding. We arrived at the hospital. Finally, I was placed in a bed, dressed in a mint green cotton gown a nurse on either side of me as they set up IV access and hooked up the monitors of the fetal heart monitor. Rafi stood in the corner of the room keeping an eye on me as he talked in feverish Spanish to his mother. He had removed his suit jacket and had rolled his sleeves up to his elbows, keeping his fingers carded in his usually perfectly styled hair. Dr. Purdy entered the room scrubbing her hands together to distribute the hand sanitizer as she monitored the baby’s heart rate on the monitor before turning to me as she pressed along my stomach.

“Ok Kelly we’re keeping a close eye on the baby right now but the bleeding is a concern.” This piqued mine and Rafael’s concern as he ended the call with his mother and replaced the nurse who was at my side gripping my hand. “We believe your placenta is obstructing your cervix so every time you have a contraction its squeezing the placenta which is making you bleed. Now, right now everything’s ok with both you and the baby but if the bleeding doesn’t stop within the next half hour we’re looking at a C-section.”

“Surgery?” I whispered in a small voice causing Rafael to grip my hand tighter. “But she’s early!”

“I know it wasn’t part of your birth plan” the doctor tried to soothe. “And yes she is early but only by a couple weeks. Her chances are very good.”

 I looked up at Rafael feeling tears prick my eyes. My husband studied my face, taking into consideration every doctor’s visit and every late night talk the two had every shared concerning their unborn daughter.

“A C-section would be the best option for the baby?” Rafael asked, a business like tone in his voice.

“At this point yes” Dr. Purdy nodded “I would prefer to wait the half hour just to see if things improve, right now things are stable, but I don’t want to wait too long and risk putting your wife and your baby in danger.”

Rafael nodded “I understand.”

The team of medical professionals left the room as I blinked up at Rafael clinging to his hand my eyes boring into his. Surgery wasn’t part of my plan at all. There were so many ifs, so many things that could go wrong! What if something went wrong and I bled out or worse what if something happened to the baby!

“I’m scared Rafi” I whimpered softly resting my head on the pillow tears wetting my eyelashes and blurring my vision. “I’m so scared. What if-”

“Shh” he cooed pushing my hair back softly with his free hand “I know you are, I’m scared too mi amor.”

“Wh-what if something happens to the baby?” I stuttered as my eyes flooded with more tears, causing them to pool down my face.

“You can’t think like that Kel” Rafael whispered pushing his forehead to mine and gently wiping my tears away “You know how we are damn good lawyers.” I smiled a soft, watery smile as I chuckled slightly causing Rafael to grin. “Yeah, you know what I mean. My wife stubborn as hell. In full blown labor yet still finishes her questioning.” Rafael grinned proudly “Well we have the damn good doctors for our baby. We have to trust them.”

“If she has your brains and snark do you realize how much trouble we’re gonna be in?” I chuckled wiping at my tears as my breathing began to even out. I placed my free hand over my bulging belly. A whimper fell past my lips as another contraction spiked through my body and I griped onto Rafi’s hand.

“She’s gonna be as gorgeous as her mother and I’m gonna have to make up bullshit charges on any boy that comes near her, have them spend time in the tombs.” Rafi smiled pressing his lips to my hand in an attempt to distract me from the pain.

“You’re gonna be such a good Papi” I smiled cupping his jaw. His lips pressed into a thin line and a flash of doubt and worry wavered through his green eyes. An internal battle had been waging inside Rafael since I broke the news to him I was expecting. Yes, he was thrilled at the thought of me carrying his child, however, he was weary of the thought of himself becoming a father. He didn’t have a good father figure to rely on growing up and was damned if he left the same impression on his own child.

The half hour seemed to pass by agonizingly slow and fast at the same time, during that time I had received an epidural to help with the contractions and was pleasently relieved from the pain despite feeling totally numb. My bleeding had not stopped and Dr. Purdy proceeded to book the OR. I giggled behind my hand as Rafael emerged from the adjoining bathroom in the hospital issued blue scrubs a far cry from his normal designer, tailored suits.

“Did they not have the Versace scrubs in stock?”

Rafi scowled playfully as he adjusted the stiff material across his midsection. He crossed the room and placed his precisely folded three piece suit into the hospital bag Sonny and Amanda had brought from home.  A sharp knock echoed through the room before a face appeared. Lucia’s wine colored lips spread into a smile as she entered the room carrying a steaming Styrofoam cup.

“How are you bebe?” she asked pressing a soft kiss to my cheek as she straightened the blankets of the bed in a motherly manner.

“I’m ok. Excited to finally meet this little girl.” I admitted caressing my stomach lovingly.

“You and me both.” She winked as she turned to Rafael and handed him the coffee. He thanked his mother with a kiss on the cheek before taking a large gulp.

“I’ll be a lot better when I can drink my coffee again” I pouted as I eyed Rafael’s cup. The smell of the freshly brewed Cuban coffee was torture. The moment I found out I was pregnant I gave up caffeine and anything else that could potentially harm or complicate the pregnancy. It had been a long few months without my beloved Iced caramel coffees with extra shots of espressos.

 “Rafi offered to quit with me until the baby was born but I’ve seen him go without caffeine for a few hours and that was bad enough I couldn’t imagine 9 months.” Rafael smirked at my comment before finishing the coffee and tossing the empty cup into the trash.

“Angelita, you give me my little princesa and I will buy that coffee for you by the gallons.” Lucia chuckled as she leaned over to give my hand an encouraging squeeze. The three of us continued to talk as the nurses ventured in and out preparing me for the procedure.

“Ya know Kelly” Lucia began from her seat beside the bed, the latest issue of People magazine in her lap. “Rafi in those scrubs reminds me of those boys in that show.. Oh! What do they call him? McDouble?”

I threw my head back in laughter “Do you mean McDreamy from Grey’s Anatomy?”

“Yes!” Lucia exclaimed clapping her hands together “That’s who he looks like!”

“Well I don’t know about McDreamy” a voice interrupted as Dr.Purdy entered with a kind smile “But he is about to become a McDaddy.” She smiled before looking at me. “Are we ready?”

Suddenly, my stomach filled my nervous gitters before I nodded. Lucia jumped up and kissed my cheek whispering a short prayer into my hair before releasing me as she tried to wipe away the tears that were pooling in her eyes.

“I’ll wait for your parents in the lobby, huh?” she smiled at me. I thanked her before she turned to Rafi grasping his cheek and kissing the other, she whispered words to him that I couldn’t hear. Rafael lowered his gaze and nodded before kissing his mother’s cheek.

“Alright” Dr. Purdy clapped her hands with a gleaming smile “Let’s have a baby!”

Delivery was a whirlwind of anxiety and jumbled nerves, scrubs and sterile fields. As the curtain separated Rafael and I from where the procedure was taking place, I began to chew my bottom lip nervously, there was a reason I went into law instead of the medical field. Rafael grabbed my hand and began retelling the story of how we first met, a useful distraction to the medical conversation happening just beyond the sterile sheet. Chuckling Rafael, reiterated how annoyed he was with the DA for assigning me to him feeling he was paid to babysit instead of prosecute. Yet, overtime he began to appreciate the knowledge I possessed and better yet the full nights of sleep he began to acquire thanks to my help.

Thankfully, Rafael’s story took my mind back in time to those events, halfheartedly distracting me from the tugging and pressure I felt at my belly, a sensation that caused my throat to tighten in a gag as I imagined the doctors moving my organs around. I kept my eyes locked on Rafael’s green ones that peered over the surgical mask so lovingly at me.  Suddenly, I felt the pressure release and a strangled cry fill the room as Dr. Purdy held a plump, raven haired little girl over the sheet declaring she was indeed a girl. I felt tears prick my eyes as my daughter was quickly wiped clean and placed on my bare chest. Her wails softly ebbed away to tender whimpers as her skin came in contact with mine. Her soft hair tickled my jaw and cheek as her chubby hand made a clutching motion, her fingertips gently tracing my opposite cheek.

The local anesthetic had already made me emotional but at the sight of my daughter tears were rolling down my cheeks a smile on my quivering lips as I glanced up at Rafael as he pulled his mask down. His lips were in an awe struck slightly parted state and his green eyes were glossy, locked on his daughter. He slowly, cautiously came closer kneeling to be more level with us.

“We have a daughter” I chuckled choking on my tears as I looked up at my husband in almost a stunned voice “we have our little girl Rafi”

Rafi’s eyes met with mine as a single tear slipped down his cheek he pushed my hair back, pressing his lips to my forehead repeatedly as he so gently pressed a hand to our daughters small back who was still spurting out small whimpers as her eyes dodged here and there taking in all the excitement. Rafael’s  hand showing just how small she was in comparison, he soothingly rubbed his thumb across the length of her shoulder blades.

“Thank you, thank you so much mi amor” Rafi whispered into my hair choking back more tears.

After what seemed like eternity, we finally had our daughter out in the world with us. We finally saw that she had Rafael’s dark ebony locks with had a slight curl she inherited from me, her eyes were a startling light blue that mirrored mine, a petite button nose nestled round rosy cheeks and Rafael’s expressive mouth. Our Gabriella Lucia Barba, named after both her grandmothers.

It was early into the next morning, nearing 3 am. Lucia and my mother had left only a half hour earlier, my father unsurprisingly absent from this beautiful milestone much like many others in my life. Gabby slept soundly in the plastic crib beside me, the affection from her grandmothers having worn her out. Rafael stood just outside the door talking with Liv and Sonny, who had been thoughtful enough to bring by Rafi and I something to eat other than hospital food. Sonny especially excited to present our daughter with dozens of pink balloons and flowers. I smiled softly as I rested on the plush pillows behind me watching the beautiful little life I created breath soundly. I felt my heavy eyes flutter shut.

I groaned as I opened my eyes, the room was still dark except for the warm light the bed side lamp provided. Rafael sat beside the crib, his elbows resting on his knees, hands clasping together under his chin as stared at Gabby in the crib. An old Harvard sweatshirt and jeans replacing the scrubs he once wore. Gabby softly began to whimper quickly becoming more upset. I stiffly sat up, my stomach burning at the exertion.

“You can pick her up Raf” I said softly as I attempted to get comfortable once more. Rafael jumped at my voice, his eyes jumping from me to squirming Gabby.

“I-uh”

“I know you haven’t held her yet.”

Rafael looked to the ground sheepishly. Having spent so much time with Rafael, both personally and professionally I could read some of his best poker faces. He was afraid that much was obvious. His foot twitched, as he bounced his knee. He stood toe to toe in court with some of the most vile, cruel beings to walk this planet without batting a lash yet, his body was jittered with nerves over a small 6 pound baby girl.

“I don’t want to hurt her” Rafi admitted softly. “She’s so small and..”

“You won’t hurt her Rafi” I reached into the crib and pulled Gabby to my chest soothing her before looking at my husband. “Now come here”

I moved to the far side of the bed allowing room for Rafi to squeeze in beside me. I assumed he would prefer holding Gabby on the bed than standing up. Rafael was stiff as I gently placed our daughter in his arms, helping him place his hands appropriately. Gabby squirmed in Rafi’s rigid arms, her face reddening and contorting in discontent as she began to wail, Rafael’s face turning pale at the reaction.

“Just relax” I whispered pressing soft kiss to his shoulder, his body relaxing slightly. “She can sense you’re uncomfortable. Talk to her.”

Rafael chuckled condescendingly “ I don’t even know what to say.”

“well that’s a first” I chuckled “you’ve been talking to her for the past nine months. You even practiced your testimonies and arguments with her in the womb!”

Rafael rolled his eyes playfully as he seemed to slowly relax. He began to rock her slightly, the movement calming the newborn. Gabby’s blue eyes studied her father intently as he moved to gently wipe the crocodile tears away from her cherub cheeks.

“You’re gonna give your papi a hard time with those eyes aren’t you?” he began, offering an awe struck smile at his daughter. “Yeah, I know you will. Your mami gives me that same look and she always wins me over.”

I felt my chest fill with warmth watching Rafael interact with Gabby, he was slowly emerging from his shell. Putting any doubts he had about his fathering skills to rest. Slowly, Rafi stood from the bed rocking Gabby gently in his arms as he began to pace the room. I felt my eyes start to become heavy again, probably from the pain medicine.

“Your papi can get you into Harvard with one phone call”  he whispered “Yeah, one of papi’s friends from law school is a Dean there, but you won’t need papi huh? You’ll be so smart. My little Gabriella will be a legacy! But you don’t have to go to law school mi princesa. You can be whatever you want to be. That’s right! You can be a lawyer or a doctor maybe a teacher like your abuelita, whatever your little heart desires….Papi will love you regardless”

I felt my eyes flutter shut, Rafael’s words painting a permanent smile on my face as his words lulled me to sleep.

“You’re my greatest gift mi princesa. I don’t deserve you or your mami. I love you both so much.”

                                          Gabby’s First Night Home

A groan passed my lips, my hand venturing out toward the opposite side of the bed in search of Rafael’s warm body to cuddle into. My hand met cool sheets causing me to pry my eyes open.  Rafael’s side of the bed was wrinkled but empty. I pushed myself up my hand bracing my incision. I glanced at the clock on the bedside.

4:23

‘He’s probably working in his office’ I thought.

My bare feet hit the chilly hardwood floor, sparking a shiver up my spine. I tied my robe around my waist and softly walked toward Gabby’s door to check on her. Her door was slightly ajar and I pushed it further open with my palm.  I was surprised to see a sleeping form on the futon across from Gabby’s crib. I tiptoed toward the center of the room. I peeked into the crib to see Gabby’s chest rising and falling steadily. Turning to my husband, I knelt down to his level. Rafael slept deeply, stretched out on his stomach, one arm hanging off the side of the futon that was across from Gabby’s crib. I smiled softly and caressed my fingers through his dark locks.

“Rafi” I whispered, continuing to run my fingers through his hair. He moaned softly leaning into my touch. He slowly opened his eyes to meet mine.

“Hm?” he groaned.

“Let’s go back to bed” I whispered.

Rafael groaned sitting upright running his hand over his face roughly.

“She alright?” he questioned nodding toward the crib as he fought a yawn.

I nodded “She’s fine.” I rubbed his arm softly “Let’s get you to bed”

Rafael stared past my shoulder toward the crib “She’ll be so far away..” He trailed off. “What if she needs us?”

“Rafi” I smiled “She’ll let us know. Have you forgotten she has a set of Barba lungs on her.” I chuckled softly “In the unlikeliness anything should happen, Sonny bought us that contraption that monitors her breathing and everything and besides we have the video monitor you can watch her on your phone in bed.”

Rafael’s eyebrows flew up, disappearing into his messy hair as he looked at me. “It can do that?”

I giggled and nodded. “We have to learn to sleep when she sleeps and your back needs memory foam not a futon especially since you sit hunched over a desk most of the time.”

“I know it’s just” he sighed heavily running his hands roughly over his face again “I can’t explain it”

I moved to sit beside him, wrapping my arms around his left bicep and intertwining our fingers, resting my cheek on his strong shoulder.

“You’re a daddy now” I whispered “You’re just worried about your little girl.”

“I worry about both my girls” he whispered pressing his lips to my hair.

“Well, since you’ve taken care of that little girl. Why don’t you come spend some time with this one?” I whispered softly biting at his neck playfully. Rafael cut his eyes over his shoulder at me smirking.

“I can repay you for all those massages you gave me…”

Between Rafael doubling his already stressful workload in order to have a less stressful time off with Gabby’s birth and my own work load intimacy of any kind had become difficult, even cuddling had become a burden finding it a hassle to find a comfortable position with a large watermelon in your stomach that liked to roundhouse kick your ribs at the slightest inconvenience. To say the least I strongly missed my husband’s affection.

I leaned forward pressing my lips to his. Rafi tilted his head deepening the kiss I moaned softly into his mouth as he pressed his left hand to my check, the coolness of his wedding band a stark contrast to my flushed cheeks.

“Mmm” Rafael sighed contently “Ok you’ve twisted my arm carino I’m coming.”

I smiled in triumph, standing up and approaching Gabby’s crib to check on her once again, she was still sleeping soundly completely undisturbed. I heard Rafael groan as he stood, stretching. I stood by the door and smirked shaking my head. Rafi had stalled, stopping to gaze over into Gabby’s crib his hands shoved in the pocket of his sleep pants, a far off dream-like look on his face.

Despite whatever he might think of himself as a papi, fatherhood looked good on Rafael.

                                                 Gabby - 3 Weeks Old

“And you have all of the numbers for the doctor? The pediatrician? Mami? Sonny, Liv? Carmen if you need me and I’m in court right? What about Ms. Christmann next door?” Rafeal rattled off as he stood cradling Gabby in his arms dressed in his suit as he prepared to go back to his first day back at work. He held her close, her bum resting on his forearm as he cradeled her head softly. A far more comfortable posture and position than when he has first held her, now that he was more comfortable he would barely put her down.

“Yes Rafi I have everything” I sighed exasperated as I prepared his thermos of coffee. I appreciated his concern yet he had gone over this list of phone numbers 4 times since waking up this morning not to mention the 6 other times last night as he formed an emergency plan in case one was needed. I was a little anxious staying home by myself with Gabby it was just comforting having someone else there to help especially when tending to a newborn was still a new, daunting task.

Rafael looked at me with a small smirk and a curved eye eyebrow. “What’s Carmen’s number?”

I dropped the spoon I had used to stir my own coffee allowing it to fall on the counter with a clank “I don’t have it memorized I have it written down. What the hell?”

Rafael chuckled kissing Gabby’s head. “Papi will come see his little princessa for lunch, would she like that, huh?”

“Momma will” I smiled walking around the counter to place Rafi’s full thermos next to his suitcase.

“Mmm” Rafael mumbled against my lips as I hugged myself to his side. “God I hate to leave.” He sighed looking down at Gabby and leaning his head against mine.

“Its only for a couple hours babe” I reasoned snuggling into his side inhaling his expensive designer cologne and the smell of coffee that always seemed to cling to his frame.

“I know but what will I miss in those couple hours?” Rafael argued, almost whining. Nuzzling his nose into Gabby’s dark hair and peppering her soft skin with kisses.

“Mmm a few dirty diapers, four or five naps, maybe a bath depending on much milk she decides to wear instead of eat” I giggled stroking Gabby’s round cheek.

“Much more entertaining than going over case files” Rafael smiled.

“Rafi if you don’t leave you’re gonna be late mi amor” I spoke softly, hating to break this intimate moment.

“I know, I know” Rafael sighed in aggravation before almost cringing. “Do it quick, like a band aid.”

Swiftly, Rafi placed Gabby in my arms and slipped his arms through his coat, grabbing his briefcase and coffee. The small girl seemed disgruntled before realizing the swap and becoming fussy. Rafael looked torn and utterly heartbroken as Gabby began to twist and turn in my arms whines and cries falling from her lips.

Raf came forward cradling my head and pressing his lips to mine before kissing Gabby on the head.

“Ill text when I get to the office.” He said still looking torn and helpless “I love you and I love you my princessa”

“love you too daddy” I winked as he blew one last kiss and left for the day and I focused my attention to my spoiled daddy’s girl.

The day had gone by smoothly. I was able to catch up on a lot of the housework and laundry as well as finishing the last of the thank you cards from Gabby’s shower. Rafael came by and had a quick lunch before being called in for a case by Liv. I was able to spend the afternoon playing with Gabby before she decided it was time to nap a notion I agreed upon. After a restful sleep I began to prepare dinner and for Rafael to arrive home.

I had fajitas cooking on the stove while Gabby slept in her bouncer that I had positioned on the counter so I could keep an eye on her.  The jingle of keys and the door closing made me smile as I lowered the heat on the chicken and veggies.

“Are we ready to see Daddy?” I smiled unbuckling Gabby and placing her to my chest. I walked to the front hall and frowned when I saw it empty. I turned to his office and found him already hunched over scribbling over an open case file.

“Dinner will be ready in five” I said softly walking into the room that was lined with numerous volumes of law books. A few phots of our relationship lined Rafi’s desk. As I rounded the corner Rafael still hadn’t answered.

“Rafi” I said softly, touching a hand to his shoulder.

Rafael jerked in my direction. “Sorry carino Im gonna be busy tonight”  he sighed waving to his desk.

“Oh ok” I said solemnly. “Do you need anything?”

“No gracias carino”  he didn’t even look up from his papers.

I sighed closing his office door before turning back to the kitchen. I quietly ate and fed Gabby before cleaning her up and preparing her for bed. With still no sign of Rafael I curled up on the couch with a book that I had been using as a distraction from hard cases while I was pregnant.  After rereading the same sentence thrice I slammed the book shut and rubbed at my eyes angrily.

I had been disappointed in Rafael’s first day back at work. Since we met, he has always been work focused and at the time so was I. But now with Gabby, I had hoped he would carve out time for her once he got home, not hide in his office when she had only seen him for a fleeting moment that morning and her time with him was cut short at lunch. I stood up and walked to his office.

The anger that had bubbled inside began to fizzle away as I took in his appearance. In the short hours since I left him, Rafael had rolled his sleeves up to his elbows and his hair was a disshevled mess worry lines etched deep into his tan skin.

I kneeled beside him placing my hand on his knee.

“Rafi” I said softly “what’s going on?”

He sighed heavily throwing his pen down on the stacks of papers and files and leaning back, roughly scrubbing his face with his hands.

“This damn case” he hissed. “Sex trafficking with the usual side charges of rape, sexual assault, kidnapping the list goes on..” he took a deep breath. “The pictures..” he shook his head and I noticed his green orbs were red and glassy “every time I saw one of those kids.” He choked on his words “I saw Gabriella.”

I felt my heartbreak as I watched the few tears slip past Rafi’s dark lashes, he quickly wiped them away.

“Its crazy, huh?” he sniffed wiping at his eyes “Before I could handle these cases and now I’m a blubbering mess.”

“Rafeal” I cooed softly standing to my feet, I pushed his chair away from the desk and straddled his lap hugging him close, his arms wrapped around my torso resting low on my back as he rested he cheek on my chest. I carded my fingers through is hair allowing my nails to lightly scratch his scalp.

“It makes me want to work even harder” he chocked “for her and for you. I want to keep you two safe.”

“Mi amor”  I whispered running my fingers through his hair “You know I appreciate everything you do for me and now for our family and Gabby, she knows her Papi will take care of her.” I kissed under his ear and felt him shiver beneath my fingertips.  “I think your fatherly side will only make you an even better lawyer, make you want to fight even harder. Just…” I bit my lip debating if I should continue with my sentence.

“Just what carino?” Rafael implored.

I locked my eyes with his “Just promise me you won’t lose yourself to your work. Yes, these cases require a lot of you but don’t let it take all of you. Gabby deserves that much.”

Rafael nodded a look on his face that implied he was lost in thought. I pressed my lips to his softly desperate to break him out of the dark places of his mind, the dark places were bad cases were locked away in. Rafael responded pulling me closer, relaxing back into his seat as he cradled my cheek swiping his tongue over my lips.

Suddenly, a high pitched crying was heard and we pulled apart. I rested my forehead on Rafi’s and breathed out heavily amused.

“That would be your daughter sensing someone is getting your love and affection besides her.” I giggled.

Rafael smiled, a true genuine smile. “Well I best not leave my princesa waiting.”

He stood and began walking to the door of his office while I took a seat back down in his chair and began looking over the case file and Rafi’s notes. Moments later Rafi appeared back at the office door cradeling Gabby, a look of pure joy on his face as he softly bounced the little girl. His eyebrows knitted together as he looked at me.

“What are you doing carino?”

I smiled up at him. Seeing him with our daughter was a sigt I would never get tired of.

“I figured I would be nice and have a second set of eyes look over this stuff for you so you can spend some more time with Gabby.”

“Kel you don’t have to do that”

I shrugged “I want to.”

Rafael smirked “What would I do without you carino?”

It was the perfect mix of classy femininity and smoldering arousal.

The reflection staring back at me was confident, a twinkling mischief in my blue eyes that I hardly recognized.

My day had been long and stressful, a stress that could only be cured by the French negligee that encased my frame like a second skin. Stacks of contracts upon contracts needing final approvals and revisions took refuge in my office and my email not to mention the countless meetings that required my attention, but I suppose there was a price to pay for being the top dog.  When I began working as part of the legal team for the WWE I took it as a challenge and a great opportunity for growth. Thankfully, growth appeared not only in my career but in my personal life as well. When I met Shane I wasn’t looking for a relationship, too focused on my career for any distractions, yet, he was persistent.  I finally accepted his offer when I was promoted to head of the legal team and now three years later here I was happily married with a Harry Winston adorning my left hand and the leading lawyer for World Wrestling Entertainment’s legal team.

Sadly, since Shane had made his public return to the WWE and had taken his place as commissioner of Smackdown our time together had become less and less. Sure, I traveled with him and managed my workload from the computer but I never had his full attention, part of his mind was always still absorbed in the next paperview or work awaiting him at the main office. He could have his hand on my thigh yet his other hand and eyes trained on his phone or computer finalizing last minute details. I was tired of it and desperately missing my husband.

I hoped the lace would change that. I smirked at myself as I adjusted the strap to the bra and smoothed out the material, taking a quick spin to enjoy the full view. He was going to love it.

I glanced at the time on my phone and sighed. Shane would be in meetings for the next few hours. I glanced back at my reflection and touched up my eyeliner giving the light grey orbs more of a sultry bedroom appearance before pulling my dark curls around me. Damn, I looked good.

Too good not to share, I thought.

The smartphone was weighing heavy in my manicured hand as I debated my decision. Quickly tossing my hair over my shoulder I posed my body under the light of the bathroom counter. I snapped a few pictures, capturing the full length of my body in the mirror. I grinned excitedly as I sat on the edge of our King size bed and opened up a new text message under Shane’s name. I attached my favorite picture and typed underneath

‘I bought a present for you xo’

I bite my lip giddily as I pressed send. I had never done something so provocative before the thought of Shane becoming hot and bothered in his meeting sent a thrill of pleasurable excitement through my body. I tapped my foot impatiently as I waited for a response. Suddenly, the time appeared under the message and a bubble with three glowing dots appeared before disappearing.

I climbed further into bed, resting amongst the pillows, as I waited for a response but nothing came. I scoffed tossing my phone to the side as I pouted.  My frustration quickly fueled another idea. I reached behind me and unclipped the bra, tossing it to the side; I situated myself against the pillows grasping my phone again. I raised the camera near my head, snaking my left hand into the small patch of lace between my legs. I snapped the picture and smirked in victory. My bare breasts were in perfect view leading down my stomach to show my hand in my panties, my wedding ring gleaming proudly. I attached it to a new text and pressed send before putting my bra back on and wrapping my silk robe around me.

Now to wait.

I smirked as I heard the SUV shut off in the garage, followed by the hum of the garage door shutting. I quickly unwrapped the tie of my robe leaving it open hanging daintily off my shoulders, a glass of Shane’s favorite bourbon in my hand. The door to the garage slammed shut and I felt my stomach clench in anticipation.

Shane appeared, our eyes connecting instantly, he threw his briefcase onto the couch while his other hand loosened his tie around his neck. His suit jacket quickly made contact with the floor. His steps were quick, calculated, and primal as he approached me.

“Hi baby” I smirked offering out the class of amber liquid.

Once he was in reach, Shane’s hand slapped at mine, the crystal glass shattering along the hardwood floor, the drink offering the sharp tang of alcohol through the air.

I gasped softly; he roughly grabbed my face and crashed his lips to mine. His mouth was hot and feverish against mine dominating every movement with his powerful form. The robe slipped from my shoulders as Shane yanked it away and tossed it aside, pressing his body firmly into mine. A deep, primal growl vibrated through his chest beneath my palm.

Shane released my no-doubt swollen red lips, pressing his forehead to mine eyes closed as we both worked to steady our breathing.

“What the fuck” he growled lowly “Were you thinking sending those pictures?”

A sense of embarrassment and regret flushed through my body at his reaction. I dropped my head, looking down at the hardwood I opened my mouth to reply when I felt Shane’s hand grip my throat and give a squeeze, killing off the words that were trying to form and forcing me to meet his eyes. He pressed his mouth hard to mine before running his parted mouth down the curve of my neck to my shoulder leaving a wet trail in his wake.

“Do you think you were being cute?”

My eyes fluttered closed relishing the feeling off Shane’s lips on my skin, his hands on my body. I gasped when I felt him increase the pressure around my neck my blue orbs snapping open to meet his deadly, dark ones.

“Answer me.”

I shook my head “N-No sir. I just wanted you.”

He chuckled, kissing my forehead gently, “You wanted me? You got me. Upstairs. Bedroom. Now.”

Excitement coursed through me as I led Shane to the bedroom. My bare feet padded softly up the hardwood steps, just as I had reached the last step, a sharp slap echoed through the house leaving a smoldering, red handprint on the globe of my ass. The stinging sensation caused a whimper to escape my lips as I peered back at Shane; he pointed his finger to the ground.

“Crawl.”

I felt the muscles in my thighs twitch as my knees met the slick hardwood. I started forward my palms leading to the carpet of our bedroom. I could feel Shane’s intense gaze on my body as I led him to the dimly lit room. I had taken the liberty of lighting candles, both as an activity to pass the time and to set the mood. The sweet smell of vanilla wafted through the air and the warm light danced with the shadows on the walls.

“Stop.” Shane’s voice echoed causing my joints to freeze in place. “Knees.”

I took the position he said, keeping my back straight as I balanced on my knees. I heard Shane stepping behind me and held in a moan as I felt the heat of his bare chest press into my back his hand sneaking to my neck again as he nuzzled his face into my hair, his lips grazed over my neck.  Shane’s hand caressed my cheek tenderly before falling to my shoulder and trailing down my spine before he reached the lace of the bra his expert fingers unsnapping it, allowing the garment to fall from my arms. As he tossed the garment away he came to stand in front of me. His dress shirt was unbuttoned showcasing his tanned, trim torso his dress pants undone resting low on his hips. Shoving his dress pants and his boxers down his legs, his hard length bobbed in the air, the head glistening with precum. I licked my lips, my eyes trained on my husband’s impressive features. Shane grasped his length, giving the solid for a few good pumps.

“Open.”

I did as he said taking his thick length deep past my lips, moaning at the salty taste as he filled my mouth, the slight curve of his dick hitting the back of my throat. My eyes closed as I flattened my tongue to caress the underside, tightening the grip my lips held around him. Shane’s loud groan echoed off the walls as his hands went to my hair, pulling it away from my face creating a makeshift ponytail as he began to set a pace. The palms of my hands rested on his thighs, the tips of my fingers gripping into the taunt muscle. His dick moved easily past my lips, venturing further down my throat taking the place of oxygen. I spluttered around him, Shane’s hold easing enough to allow me to pull away for air. I grasped the base of his cock feeling the pulse underneath my fingertips. I ran my lips along his length before coming back to the start. I met his dark eyes and swirled the tip of my tongue around the head of him. The head of his dick disappeared between my lips and I gave soft sucks my hands twisting around the slick base.

I peered up at my husband as his head flew back in ecstasy, curses falling from his mouth. I moved my head urging more of his length down my throat again, swirling my tongue along the velvety skin. My bare breast pushing into his thighs as I welcomed him deep into my throat, I flinched slightly at the feeling as my nose met his pelvic bone. A deep growl emitted from Shane’s throat as he gently pulled me away. I continued to lick along his shaft alternating from long to short licks feeling him twitch beneath my lips.

Shane gave my shoulders a squeeze before helping ease me to my feet. Our lips met, tongues gently caressing one another. Shane moaned tasting himself on my tongue, bending down he grabbed my thighs pulling them around his waist.

I squealed as I was lifted in the air. Shane kicked away his pants and carried us to the bed. My body bounced off the lavish white bedding as Shane’s much larger frame covered mine. His lips trailed down my neck, the warmth of his body brushing against mine sparked exciting tingles that erupted down to my fingertips. He climbed into the bed and fell amongst the many pillows that decorated the top. Grabbing my hand he pulled me to him, my back meeting his chest, his slick, hard dick pressing into my back.  

Shane wrapped a thick arm around my waist as he pulled my head back to meet his lips again. Hungry, deep kisses only barely distracting me from the hand that was trailing towards the lace between my legs.  Shane’s fingers swirled designs along the lace teasing at my soaked core and swollen clit. With a firm grasp and a strong jerk, I felt the lace give way from my body a shriek leaving my lips.

“Shane!” I yelped at the sting on my skin “That was new!”

His only response was a deep growl as he pulled me tighter against his chest, he positioned my legs overtop his, locking them in place as he left me spread vulnerable. A gasp left my lips as I felt Shane’s fingers ghost over my folds, his chin rested on my shoulder to watch his hand at work.

“Mmm” he groaned deep in the back of his throat “look how wet you are for me.”

“Only for you” I gasped as the air hitting my pussy caused me to arch further into him.

Shane’s thick fingers slid along the length of my fold gathering the sweet juice among his fingers before bringing it to his lips sucking them clean. A deep moan shook his body.

“God you taste so fucking good”

I whimpered, his words bringing a new wave of moist warmth between my thighs. Shane brought my lips back to his forcing my own taste onto my tongue as his fingers danced along my entrance. As Shane pulled away, our faces only centimeters apart he shoved his thick fingers inside me. I whined at the intrusion before beginning to grind my hips onto his fingers. Shane’s thumb swiped across my clit and my body shuddered in appreciation a strangled mix of a gasp and moan leaving my lips.

“You like that babygirl?” he growled in my ear biting at my neck “You like my fingers fucking you?”

I clenched my eyes shut tightly as Shane’s fingers sped up “Oh God yes! Yes I love it!”

As Shane’s fingers fucked my pussy relentlessly I felt my stomach beginning to tighten a hot ball gripping tighter. Shane noticed the stiffness of my muscles and the franticness of my hips. He quickly pulled his fingers from my entrance and began to rub at my clit with hard, furious strokes.

I screamed out at the new sensation my body pulling against Shane’s strength but to no avail. Shane’s grip only tightened around my midsection and with one final swipe against my delicate clit I came in a blubbering mess. My body stiffened as the peak of my orgasm hit me before relaxing back into Shane’s embrace.

My chest rose and fell rapidly as Shane released me. He positioned my head on a pillow and covered my body with his as he devoured my neck in loving licks and bites. My hands ran through his silvery hair bringing his lips back to mine. As our tongues entangled I pulled his bottom lip between my teeth playfully. An evil glint flashed through Shane’s dark orbs. Before I could comprehend, Shane pulled one of my legs towards his hip and entered me in a full deep thrust. I gasped at the penetration a moan quickly following as he began a steady pace, bottoming out with each forward thrust.

“Oh fuck Shane” I cried as my hands went from his shoulders to my breast, massaging them as my body jostled. I looked between us watching as his dick, glistening with wetness, pulled out before disappearing back into me followed by a stretching and bruising pleasure I felt from deep within.  With my body still buzzing from my first orgasm I could feel my second approaching fast. Wrapping my legs around Shane’s taunt, trim waist I met his thrusts with equal enthusiasm, my eyes threatening to roll back at the incredible feeling it produced. Just as  my orgasm was about strike Shane pulled himself from me.

I whined his name twisting along the sheets in frustration as my hand reached between my thighs, before I could reach, Shane grabbed my wrist and pulled me to my knees. He led me to the headboard and began to tie my wrists with the tie he had worn earlier.  His fingertips danced down my spine before he pushed down into the small of my back, his other hand guiding my hips upward. The position was torture to my back as it was curved in such an odd manner. I glanced over my shoulder at my husband.

“My pretty girl” Shane murmured rubbing his hand along the globe of my ass, his other hand pumping his cock. “Can’t believe you sent pictures like that.”

A sharp smack cracked across my skin and I bit my lip groaning at the burn. Another cracked along my other cheek and then another and so on before my knees were shaking and tears were brimming my eyes. Finally, the rhythm stopped and my burning flesh was left to the cool air of the room before Shane gently rubbed his palms along the marked flesh of my ass.

“I don’t like punishing you” he said lowly kissing up my spine to my shoulder, his dick neatly nestled between my ass “But you have to learn.”

My reply was lost in my throat as Shane pushed forward, entering me again.  This time his pace was fast and brutal. The sound of skin smacking, the bedframe squeaking, my gasps and Shane’s heavy breathing filled the room. His hands were gripped tight onto my hips, moving me forward and backward to meet his thrusts, hitting directly into that particular pleasurable spot. I rested my head along my arm focusing on the feeling of his dick stretching me and that pleasure he created. His hands snacked around me, finding my breasts he gave them a squeeze before twisting my nipples between his fingers.

My moans grew louder as Shane’s thrusts staggered and became sloppy. Pulling one hand my from breast he placed it between the front of my thighs and created a steady rhythm against my clit rushing me to my high. As I screamed out, reaching my climax, I felt Shane groan and fill me with his ropes of warm seed. Completely spent, my body hung slack from my confined wrists. Shane pulled at the knot releasing me. He pulled me into a hot searing kiss before he got out of the bed and went to the bathroom. I rested my back stretching the sore muscles as my chest heaved, my body still quivering from the orgasms.

Shane came back into the bedroom and scooped me up in his arms. He had filled the bath with steamy water before submerging us both into it. I moaned resting my head on his chest as his hands ran up my back.

“I’m sorry I was too rough” he whispered, regret lacing his voice as he brought my red wrist to his lips and placing a gentle kiss there.

“Don’t be” I smiled pressing my lips to his “I liked it.” I watched my hands glided over his chest, racing droplets down the crevices “Did you not like the pictures?”

Shane sighed deeply tucking a piece of hair behind my ear “Fuck I loved them baby girl. Its just that– Your timing was just awful baby. We had just got done talking about Paige and Charlotte’s leaked pictures again when yours came through. As much as it turned me on, I got jealous too. I don’t want something to happen and any other man get to see you the way I do.”

I smiled at him “I like when you get jealous” I giggled “But you don’t need to worry. I’m not going anywhere. I love you, Shane.”

He pulled me close, crushing our chests together as I properly straddled him now. “I love you, too.” He pressed his lips to mine again tangling his hands in my hair as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss.

“Seems I owe someone some new lingerie now doesn’t it?”

I bit my lip and nodded as Shane’s lips sucked on my collarbone “Just be sure of one thing.” His lips moved to the other side of my neck.

My body convulsed as the contents of my stomach splashed into the porcelain. Tears streamed down my cheeks as my throat seared bitterly, my stomach completely empty now and yet by body continued to wretch causing me to gag. 

Why did this have to happen? Why here? Why now?

Suddenly, I felt my hair being pulled away from my face and a soothing hand rubbing my back. I coughed before falling onto my bum on the tile closing my eyes.

“ye alrigh now love?” Finn asked wiping my tears with his thumb and wiping at my mouth with a cloth as he squatted before me clad only in a pair of flannel sleep pants.

I groaned leaning against the tub, shaking my head. An action I immediately regretted as the room began to spin I clenched my eyes tightly shut. Finn handed me my toothpaste and toothbrush helping me stand on shaky legs. I vigorously brushed my teeth three times desperate to rid my mouth of the vile bitterness. Finn rubbed soothing circles in the small of my back as I spat the last of the toothpaste out and rinsed. He pressed his lips gently to my forehead.

“Yer running fever, and yer awfully pale darlin’. ” Concern painted his features, his brogue coming off stronger than normal. I leaned into his rough fingers as he cupped my flushed cheek. The warmth felt inviting against my clammy skin.

“Let’s get you back in bed” Finn stated wrapping an arm around my waist to lead me out of the bathroom.

As good as the awaiting bed sounded I shook my head. The unsettling feeling in my stomach hadn’t lessened since I had gotten sick and I didn’t want to risk waking Finn’s parents by running back and forth to the bathroom all night or worse risk not making it to the bathroom in time. The mere thought made me want to die of embarrassment.

“I’m just gonna camp out here until my stomach doesn’t feel as queasy.”

Finn nodded before disappearing from the room. I assumed he went back to bed and sighed as I sat on the edge of the tub holding my tender stomach, a hammer beginning to pound at my temple. 

My first time in Ireland, my first time meeting Finn’s family and I was sick. What did I do in life to deserve this? I just wanted to make a good impression and for his family to approve of our relationship.

 Moments later Finn he returned arms full of supplies. He carried a pack of saltines, a cup of clear bubbling liquid, stomach medicine, pillows and a comforter.  My brows furrowed in confusion as he set the crackers and soda on the counter for me. I munched quietly on a few crackers and sipped the soda watching as Finn wedged a pillow in the corner where the tile wall met the bathtub.

“What are you doing?” I questioned measuring out the medicine and tossing it back with a cringe before pushing it away, fighting to keep the liquid down and not throw it back up. I quickly finished the rest of the Sprite to wash away the revolting taste.

“Yer not staying in here by yerself all night love” Finn answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. He dropped to the floor, throwing another pillow behind his head. He maneuvered into a comfortable position as his steely gaze peered up at me expectantly, opening his arm as an invitation.

“Finn” I sighed defeated yet dropping beside him none the less. “You need to sleep in a bed. Your body gets battered for a living, you don’t need to be sleeping on the floor.”

He shrugged indifferently as he pulled me to his bare chest, settling the comforter over both of us as he reached up the wall and flipped the light switch engulfing us in darkness except for a lone nightlight that was plugged in beside the sink offering a calming warm glow. 

I snuggled into Finn’s pec placing a small kiss over his heart. I inhaled his cologne and felt a sense of warmth and comfort wash over me as his lips brushed my forehead tenderly. The warmth of Finn’s body mixed with the coolness of the tile beneath our bodies created a much needed comfort. Finn’s fingers ghosted lazy under my sleep shirt just at my panty line making my eyes feel heavy at the soothing touch.

“Thank you for being so good to me” I whispered tangling my legs with Finn’s as I clung to him like a small child.

“You take care of me all da time.When I’m hurt and when I’m sick and acting like a baby. Yer always der I want to do the same”  Finn countered, mumbling his words into my hair. “Get some sleep lovey. Wake me if you need anyt’ing. If yer not better in da morning I’m taking ya to the doctor.”

Tig noticed my presence and approached me, his electric blue eyes glassy with unshed tears. He opened his arms wide as he stepped closer, pressing a chaste kiss to my cheek.

“Hey baby doll” his voice cracked slightly and he cleared his throat to try and disguise it, reaching to pet Scottie Lynn’s curls.

“Tig what the hell is going on?” I asked trying to hide the quiver of fear in my voice. “Is he ok?”

Tig opened his mouth to respond but he couldn’t form words, he kept his eyes focused on my daughter.

“He needs you Kay.” Tig said connecting his eyes with mine a lone tear slipping down his cheek. “We all do.”

Realizing Tig wasn’t going to offer up anymore information at the moment I sighed readjusting Scottie Lynn.

“Will you take her for me?” I asked. Tig nodded before taking the giggling toddler from me, Ratboy approaching to relieve me of her bag and stuffed animal.  Once I was sure she was settled, the men seeming to enjoy the distraction of the bubbly little girl, I looked at Tig once more.

“Where is he?” I asked pulling my long black curls up into a bun, a nervous habit I had formed over the years.

Tig pointed a finger in the direction behind me.

“Chapel.”

I readjusted my shirt and took a deep breath as I stood before the chapel door. Giving myself a peptalk and preparing myself for whatever I might see I opened the door.

Chibs sat at the head of the table. Staring intently at the reaper carved in the wood, he didn’t even acknowledge my presence. His chair was pushed all the way back to the wall creating space between himself and the reaper. His expression was stony; his dark eyes brimmed with emotion as they peered over his clasped hands that were propped up by his elbows on his knees. I scanned his body at least three times checking for signs of injury. Thankfully, there was none.

My mind began to hunt through my memories in search for the last time I had seen him. It had been months. We had been so good before. I had his crow tattooed on my lower back and my name was inked on his wrist. We had been so good, so strong. What we had built together had given me every hope that it would last. Until Tara died. With Tara’s death it seemed that the ominous chance of being target in retaliation become all too real for Chibs. Chibs ended our engagement. He said it was to protect Scottie Lynn and I by separating, distancing us from the club and therefor the threats. Yet, once he left I felt more alone and vulnerable than ever before. My left hand still felt cold without the ring he had given me.

“Chibs” my voice broke through the silence softly, looking for any sign of acknowledgement from him. My footsteps carried me to his side quickly. I kneeled before him and clasped my hands over his. His eyes were in a far off place.

“Filip look at me” I demanded my voice stern. His dark orbs snapped up to lock with my light ones. He studied my face seeming to only just realize I was here. I saw the unshed tears pooling in his eyes as his breathing become unsteady. His frame began to shake slightly as he attempted to hold back his sobs.

“Jackie boy..” he croaked dropping his head as he shuddered a few heartbreaking tears. My eyebrows drew together in confusion as to what this had to do with Jax. Chibs pulled our hands apart before opening his left hand. There, settled in his calloused palm, was the ‘President’ patch. My eyes darted to his chest taking in the bare space where his ‘V.President’ patch was once stitched.  My eyes locked with his as I felt my own orbs burn blurry with thick tears my hands covering my mouth in shock.

Jax was gone.

“Oh baby” I whispered caressing his face with a gentle touch. His arms wrapped around my waist pulling me into his lap, our bodies seeming to mold together as if the months of separation had never happened. His cries wracked his body as he buried his face in my neck clutching onto me as if I were his only lifeline. I held him to me, brushing my fingers through his greying hair and pressing kisses into his forehead my own tears spilling over.

“I’m here” I whispered “Let it go. Just let it all go”

Chibs was strong in every meaning of the word. But, everyone had their breaking point and needed to release all the pent up emotion. I continued to twirl the ends of his hair around my fingers, a gesture I knew calmed him as my other hand came to rest on the reaper on his back.

Chibs’ steady heartbeat echoed in my ears as he slept soundly beside me, our bare bodies still tangled together under the sheets. His face was clear of all the worry and stress that would plague his mind once he woke up. After providing the most intimate form of comfort I could, Chibs had fallen into a deep slumber the events of the day having weighed heavily on his heart and mind driving him to exhaustion. My fingers gently traced his rosary, flowing down the beads until they met the cold of the engagement ring that Chibs had threaded the rosary through. I smiled softly at the thought of him keeping it on him; my lips softly caressed the skin of his throat.

Soft knocks at the door jarred me from my thoughts and I quickly scrambled out of the bed to answer as to not wake up Chibs. I pulled on a ratty SAMCRO shirt over my bare body and yanked on a discarded pair of sleep pants before opening the door to reveal Happy holding Scottie Lynn.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to dump her on you guys” I said softly reaching for my daughter. Her chubby fingers were gently playing with her hair. She was sleepy.

“S’okay. We fed her too.” Happy’s gruff voice responded.

I thanked him and bid him goodnight easily slipping Scottie Lynn into the bed beside her father after removing her shoes. Chibs shuffled slightly before nuzzling into Scottie Lynn’s hair releasing a snore. I smiled at the sight and watched as she cuddled into her father’s embrace before her dark eyes closed.

My eyes came to land on Chibs’ cut that had been thrown onto his dresser. The pads of my fingers danced around the reaper delicately. I reached in the pocket and retrieved the patch, the word President staring back at me. Glancing back at the Chibs and Scottie in the bed I quietly walked out.

I sat at the SAMCRO table in the same spot Chibs had been hours ago.  My eyes glued to the patch and the awaiting leather cut.

If only this leather could speak. It had been part of miraculous events. It had adorned Chibs’ back when Scottie Lynn first opened her eyes and it had seen the end of life for both friends and foes.  This worn leather had endured the weather from the harsh, blistering Nevada sun to the overcast clouds of Ireland. It had taken part in gun trades and cartel deals, wiped clean of blood, oil and tears. This black leather cut made Chibs stand a little prouder each time the material touched his back. He loved his club but I was terrified to see him take the gavel as President.

What new dangers would he put him or even Scottie Lynn and me in? Every President of SAMCRO had been killed while holding their title or not long after they lost it. I don’t know what I would do if this became a never ending cycle that would claim Chibs’ life as well.  Unfortunately, the decision wasn’t mine to make and from the looks of things Chibs had already sealed his fate.

I finally drew the courage to pick up the needle and thread I had scraped up and began sewing the patch into place. I took my time saying a prayer for each stitch as a shield of protection. Once I had finished the sun was rising and the main room was buzzing with morning activity. I emerged and saw Chibs holding Scottie on his hip sipping coffee and talking with Tig and Happy.

“I believe this is yours”

Chibs looked at the cut before gently placing Scottie on the bar along with his coffee cup allowing me to slip the worn, black leather over his shoulders. I admired my work for a moment before patting him on the chest softly.

“You look good Prez” I smiled a watery smile at him before turning to reach for Scottie. “Come on little girl its time we head home.”

Chibs grabbed my wrist before I could pull away, leading me a few steps away for privacy before he  pulled me closer pressing his lips to mine. His hand released my wrist to move to my face, gently holding me by my cheeks in place. His goatee created a familiar tickling at my lips that I graciously welcomed. Scottie giggled hysterically clapping her hands. We pulled apart and Chibs’ deep orbs studied my face intently.

“Stay” his Scottish brogue asked softly. “I can’t do dis wit out ya. You’re my  Ole Lady.”

“Filip I-“

“I know I fucked up things before. But darlin’ “ he gently reached and petted my hair “I realized how much I need ya here all de time, every day. I already lost someone I cared about don’t make me lose ye too. Not my girls, not again.”

I sighed heavily my eyes watering as I lowered my gaze pressing my forehead to his. God, how I loved this man. I nodded.

“Ok”

Chibs released a sigh of relief before pecking my lips once more and pulling me to his chest pressing his lips to my hairline.

“I love ye.”

Sami jumped up quickly and rushed to the door, wrenching the door open he came face to face with her. She looked as gorgeous as she did when he had left the bar earlier. Her brown tresses tousled around her face her petite, curvy body encased in fitted strappy black romper. Yet, her pretty face was flushed and stained in thick tears.

Before Sami could react she had fallen into his arms burying her face into his bare chest her arms wrapping around his neck, her body shaking with her sobs. Sami closed the door and maneuvered the two of them to the bed to sit down.

“Shh” he comforted rubbing his hands up and down her back soothingly. “Calm down sweetheart. Deep breaths, tell me, what’s going on?”

His mind was racing with possibilities as to what could have made her so upset. He slyly inspected her form noticing there wasn’t any sign of injury or trauma. She gently pulled back sniffing and wiping at her cheeks before meeting Sami’s dark eyes.

“H-He cheated on me.” She whimpered, her lips quivering more tears pooling in her eyes.

“Seth did what?” Sami growled, anger beginning to course through his veins hotter than any whiskey could.

Sami had warned her about Seth, hell the entire roster had. Sure, Seth Rollins was a good guy he just tended to have bad tendencies when it came to the women he was involved with and no one wanted to see her heart of gold get broken. But she was stubborn refusing to see anyone in a negative light. That was one of the things Sami loved about her. She was the most caring person he had ever met in his life which is why the tears streaming down her face was so discomforting. God, did he love her. Sami came to realize his feelings for her about the time Seth had taken an interest in her as well. While the Architect boasted his affections from the rafters, Sami decided to keep his feelings hidden not wanting to jeopardize their friendship.

“We were at the bar and I went to look for him since he had been gone a while.” She swallowed thickly twirling a ring on her finger “I went to the bathroom and h-he um” the tears were racing down her face again. Sami gently took her hands in his rubbing soothing circles into her palm. “He had some girl pressed up against the sink and th-they were fucking.”

She pulled her hands from Sami’s and hid her face behind her manicure as she sobbed once more. Sami offered his comfort pulling her into his frame. His jaw set, she was the only thing keeping him grounded and from going to confront the no doubt drunken Seth Rollins. She had come to him before when she and Seth had their arguments but nothing mounted up to this. She buried her face into his neck wrapping her arms around him as her tears began to slow. Minutes passed and finally she pulled away with a hiccup much calmer now.

“He noticed me, acted like he cared trying to pull his pants up like he was just as shocked as I was. He followed me out of the bar begging me to stay saying it was a misunderstanding.” She spat bitterly. “A misunderstanding? Like somehow that girl slipped and fell right on his dick.” She shook her head with a scoff. “It’s over” she shrugged simply staring at her folded hands in her lap. “Like I told him, I can forgive a lot but not that.”

Sami felt guilty for the relief that flooded through him. He was upset that she was so heartbroken but oh so happy that she was ending her relationship with Seth.

“I’m proud of you” he offered tucking a strand of coffee colored hair behind her ear. “You deserve the very best in life and it’s high time you realized that.”

She smiled, a rosy color flooding her cheeks at his words.

“You’ve always been so good to me Sami.” She began.

Sami tucked his fingers under her chin lifting her face to meet his, his heart flipping into his throat as her eyes connected with his.

“I wouldn’t change a minute” he breathed. “You deserve it and so much more than what Seth Rollins could offer.”

She bowed her head blushing again “Do you think I could stay here tonight? I don’t want to risk going back to the room and running into him.”

“You know you don’t have to ask sweetheart.” He risked a kiss to her hair as he stood.

She followed his actions discarding her heeled sandals before turning to the bathroom.

“I’m going to shower real fast.” She announced “And Sami?” He turned to her giving her his undivided attention “Thank you. For everthing.”

Sami gave her a smile as she closed the door and he set forth the task of arranging the bed making sure she had enough blankets and pillows on her side. Running water could be heard from the bathroom as Sami dug through his suitcase to retrieve a clean t-shirt and basketball shorts for her to sleep in. As he was double checking he hadn’t forgotten anything the door to the bathroom opened.

“Sami?” she called out. Her hair has been brushed out and pulled into a messy bun atop her head and her face free of makeup and any evidence of tears. She turned her back to him exposing the intricate lacing of the romper. “Can you untie me?”

“Sure thing”

Sami stepped forward, his fingers gently pulling at the string that laced the black garment together, an act so simple yet felt so personal and intimate. As the string was loosened the fabric drew slack away from her sun kissed skin and Sami felt his mouth begin to water. The smell of her perfume mixed with the faintest smell of whiskey she had been nursing earlier that night invaded his senses drowning him in euphoria. Once the garment was loose enough to be removed Sami gently pushed it from her shoulders.

He couldn’t stop himself.

Softly, he placed a hesitant kiss to her slim neck. She hummed softly leaning her head further back which Sami took as encouragement to proceed. He peppered soft kisses along her exposed neck and shoulder gently sucking on a particularly sensitive spot beneath her ear.

“Sami” she gasped followed by a soft moan. His hands circled around her lean waist pulling her back against him, flattening her back against his chest. Her head rested on his shoulder as he continued to assault her skin with gently love bits and the scratch of his beard.

He gently ghosted his lips over the shell of her ear, her skin erupting in goosebumps. “Tell me you want this.” His voice was thick and husky. “Tell me this is what you want and I’ll give it to you. If not, I’ll stop right now and go room with Finn for the night. Just tell me what you want baby.”

She turned in his arms her own hands finding refuge on his chest. Her eyes stared at where his heart was bounding underneath her palm before trailing her eyes up to meet his. Leaning on her toes she left her lips barely a breath away from his as her other hand carded through the hair at the back of his neck.  Her response was low and sinfully lustful.

“I want you, Sami.”

As if those words were enough of a green light Sami crushed his lips with hers. Gently cradling her head his fingers worked her hair free from the tie, his tongue set to explore her mouth searching every inch. Sami groaned into her mouth drinking her in, his senses felt like they had been kicked into overdrive. Her smell surrounded him, her taste drowning him, her touch exciting him.  Sami felt like his knees weren’t able to support him anymore. Her back suddenly crashed into the wall as he pushed his body further into hers. His hand traveled down her side to her bare leg before hooking it around his waist brining their cores even closer. He still needed more.

Her hands cupped his face holding his mouth to hers before dragging her mint colored nails down his back deliciously slow until they reached the band of his sweatpants. Sami pulled away from her mouth, eyes screwed tight in ecstasy.

“Holy fuck” he moaned as she took the opportunity to return the earlier affection and spread nibbles, kisses and licks across his shoulders, neck and chest leaving bright red marks across his pearly skin.

“C’Mere” he whispered huskily pulling her other leg up to wrap around his waist. Once she was securely in place Sami buried his face in her chest peppering the plump flesh in wet open mouthed kisses, his beard irritating the delicate skin. Her nails ran through his thick curls, scraping at his scalp as she pressed a kiss to the fiery locks.

Same dropped the two onto the King size bed, bracing his weight on his forearms as to not crush her. They reconnected their mouths and resumed their wandering hands as Sami worked to remove the romper completely from her frame. Once the material was discarded from her body Sami took a moment to gaze at her. Her hair was in soft waves around her face a stark contrast to the white pillow beneath her. Her cheeks were glowing making her freckles more apparent across her bronze skin. Her bare chest was heaving, her nipples hardened to pebbles atop the supple flesh. Her soft stomach flexing as she inhaled and exhaled expanding into full hips that led to her long toned legs that were encircled around Sami’s waist.

“Ma Belle”

His lips sucked the flesh of her shoulder into his mouth, right above her collarbone enjoying the sounds she made as his tongue worked against the flesh determined to leave a mark. She gripped the band of Sami’s sweats and began to pull them from his hips before they joined the romper on the floor.

“Sami” she moaned grasping his hard length in her small hand and giving a few experimental pumps her thumb swirling around the head of his cock.

“Sh-shit”  he whimpered, dropping his head to her shoulder “Don’t tease mon cherie”

“Please Sami” she begged.

Not one to disappoint, especially her, Sami kissed her softly, teasing her entrance to test the waters. Finding how slick she was, Sami slipped within her easily. He gauged her reaction his smile widening at her haughty moan as she threw her head back and arched further into his body, her hands anchoring her to his shoulders. He set a steady pace, varying his depth and speed to explore her preferences. His lips attached to her breast nibbling the hardened, sensitive peaks.

The couple’s sounds echoed through the hotel room mixing with the narrator of the ongoing tv show. Breathy moans, gasps, and whimpers combining with the sound of their skin connecting.

Sami closed his eyes as he sped up his thrusts, savoring the moment. Her sounds were sweeter than he could have ever imagined her touch softer, lips fuller. He wanted to just take a moment to take it all in.

Suddenly, Sami felt her walls tighten around him her sounds becoming louder and higher pitched his name falling off her lips like a prayer. Sami didn’t think he had ever heard anything sound better to his ears.

He studied her face as she came, etching the image into his brain for safekeeping. Her eyes screwed tightly shut her mouth agape in an expression of awe as she tumbled down from her high. Sami urged himself further his own climax impending, yet, Sami was determined to use her currently over-stimulated body to his advantage and bring her at least one more orgasm. Reaching between them, Sami pressed his thumb to her clit rubbing harsh circles. A loud cry fell from her lips as she pushed her hips forward desperate for more contact. Sami continued, connecting his mouth to his favorite spot on her shoulder as his climax and her second quickly approached. Her legs began to shake, Sami muffling her screams and his groans with a kiss as his thrusts became sloppy before he emptied his seed deep within her.

He fell beside her his chest heaving. She laid her head on his chest with a content sigh her fingers playing in the curls of chest hair, he wrapped his arm around her body holding her close as his hand loosely held hers atop of his chest. Sami found himself staring at her smiling softly before finally dozing off to sleep.The next morning Sami awoke early to the sound of rain pelting at his window. For a moment, he feared that the night before had all been but another dream. A brush of warmth was felt across his leg and lower stomach. 

He looked down to see her sleeping form curling into his side. He smiled. She was here, after all this time, all his wishing and wanting she was finally in his arms. He pressed a kiss to her forehead chuckling as she wrinkled her nose adorably at the disturbance.

He wanted her to be his. But, was it too soon? Sami was itching to tell her of his feelings but she had only ended things with Seth the night before. A label didn’t have to put on them so soon. He would wait and be her support, her comfort whatever she needed until the time came to be something more. Sami slowly snuck out of the bed his feet hitting the carpet.

“Sami?” she mumbled he turned to see her bleary eyes peering up at him 

“Come back to bed” she whispered rubbing the warm spot he had just vacated.

“I’ll be right back. Got some things I have to do ok? You rest now.” He pressed his lips to hers and watched as she nodded and fell back asleep.

An hour later the elevator pinged at Sami’s floor. He exited carrying her favorite coffee and a bouquet of her favorite flowers were nestled in his jacket protected from the bombarding rain. He was going to tell her.

Once the lock turned green Sami opened the door with a wide grin. She was standing at the mirror adjusting her romper onto her body. Sami’s smile fell slightly.

“What are you doing?” he asked stepping further into the room.

She turned to him and smiled “Morning!” she came forward and kissed him on the cheek chastely before grabbing her sandals, sitting on the bed to put them on.

“Seth called. He said he wants to talk about what happened last night over breakfast.”

What was left of Sami’s smile quickly fell. “And you agreed?”

She shrugged standing up “I figure it can’t hurt anything to hear what he has to say. Anyway I’m gonna run back to our room while he’s at the gym and freshen up.”

Sami’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion. Did last night mean nothing to her? Was she that eager to see the man that had cheated on her than to have a proper conversation with the man who had loved her only hours before? His heart felt like a solid stone that had settled at the bottom of the raging ocean that was his stomach.

“Bu-“

“I’ll see you at the show tomorrow?” she cut him off pulling her hair up out of her face as she gathered her clutch from the night before fully prepared to make her departure.  Her fingers adjusted the strap to of her romper to cover the mark on her shoulder.

“Uh yeah” Sami mumbled, his brain was a mess of hurt and confusion. “Here” he shoved the coffee in her direction.

“Oh Sami! Thank you so much! You’re the best!” she accepted the drink and took a sip moaning in delight. A flashback of her moaning beneath his body flashing before his eyes. With a quick bye she kissed his cheek and left.

Sami dropped to the bed his eyes brimming with unshed tears as he pulled the assortment of Daylilies from out of his jacket. He stared at them for a moment before throwing them harshly at the wall, colorful petals falling to the floor. He stared for a moment at the closed door, hoping she would appear back and shower him with the same affection he so longingly desired to give to her.

“I love you” he shrugged his shoulders.

As if it would matter now.

______________________________________________________________

She had taken him back.  

Whatever spell Seth Rollins had on her was stronger than Sami originally had ever thought. The anger and hurt that coursed threw him was indescribable as he saw Seth’s snapchat story of the couple at breakfast.

‘Breakfast with my best girl, thankful she puts up with me <3’

Sami’s heart couldn’t take it. He decided to sever ties with her until he could regain control of his emotions. It was tough, not only did they work in the same company; they stayed in the same hotels and spent their time enjoying some of the same things. But somehow, Sami managed to avoid her and the Architect. It hurt, it hurt him terribly to be separated from his best friend and the woman he loved and yet he was not one to be used and thrown away.

She text him, called him even visited his hotel room and spent 10 minutes knocking on the door, Sami never answered.

But he couldn’t avoid her forever.

It was a normal hustle and bustle of a house show. Sami was walking to the lockerroom his luggage rolling behind him when he heard her laugh. Sami stopped midstep when his eyes locked with her. She stood at a crate laughing at something Seth had said. Her eyes were closed crinkling at the side and Sami felt his hurt lurch painfully.

He turned on his heel hoping to go unnocited when her sweet voice called out to him. This was it, he would have to face her. He turned to face her as she jogged up to him and jumped into his frame wrapping her arms around him. He sighed harshly patting her back unceremoniously. If she noticed his odd, cold behavior toward her, she didn’t let it show.

“Where have you been? I’ve been trying to get a hold of you.” She said pulling away and beaming up at him, happy to see her best friend after so long.

“I’ve been busy” Sami mumbled looking over her shoulder and rubbing the back of his neck desperate to get out of the current situation and avoid her curious eyes.

“Too busy for your best friend?” she joked pushing on his shoulder lightly. Sami’s eyes snapped to hers quickly, the fire burning in his eye making her smile fall.

“Yeah too busy for my best friend” he growled emphasizing the word friend. Her face fell suddenly as she stepped back as if she had been scolded, pulling the hand she had  touched his shoulder with back to her chest as if the touch has burned her.  Her eyes glistened with unshed tears.

“Sami..”

“Hey Zayn” Seth appeared beside her smirking cockily as he draped an arm around her shoulders pulling her into his side. “Thanks for watching my girl for me.”

Seth placed a chaste kiss to her dark hair and Sami felt the jealously flare in the pit of his stomach, his nostrils flaring slightly. Her sad eyes hadn’t left Sami’s face as if maybe his expression would reveal why he was upset with her.

“Yeah, of course.” Sami nodded, gritting his teeth to keep the bitterness at bay. 

“You know I’m always looking out to take care of her.”

Seth snorted back a sarcastic laugh “Oh trust me Zayn. We all know how much you care about her.”

“Seth” she mumbled lowly “Don’t.” She glared up at her boyfriend as he chuckled darkly.

“You’re right Rollins” Sami nodded, his chest puffing up in determination. Sami’s eyes met with her confused ones, giving him the grit to go through with his actions. “I do care about her. A whole hell of a lot more than you do.” Seth scoffed a wicked smirk settled on his tan face. “I care about her. I make sure she’s well taken care of. Not to mention I make it my personal mission to make sure she’s satisfied and warm every night.”

The fuse was lit.

“Until someone else catches your eye” Sami spat back, watching in victory as Seth’s face fell a bit. She looked at Sami, worry and shock filling her face. A crowd had begun to form around the three, but neither of the parties noticed. 

 “And then while you’re playing ladies’ man. She’s with me! I’m the one drying her tears and putting her back together. I’m the one who has to make her feel whole again because of a piece of shit like you. I’m the one who keeps her warm on those nights!”

The crowd around them seemed to burst in excited chatter at the new information and Sami sneered in satisfaction at having the upper hand.

“Sami!” she shrieked in shock, tears filling her pretty eyes. Their secret was out. Sami felt his heart clench at the sight of her tears and knowing that he was the cause. He wanted to be sick at the sight and managed to tear his eyes away from her. She might not realize it now but what he was doing was for the best. 

The best for her.

Seth turned to her anger marring his face. He grabbed her by the arms and pulled her away to a nearby corner.  He shoved her into the corner and grabbed onto her arms shaking her roughly, her eyes wide in fear as she trembled in the man’s grip.

“You little fucking whore! You’ve been sleeping around with Zayn behind my back! You tring to make me look stupid?” Seth’s angry red face roared. She cowered forcing herself deeper into the wall shaking her head no.

In an instant Sami had thrown Seth into the adjacent wall, delivering blow after blow blindly, rage pouring out of him. She was scared huddled into the opposite wall, quivering as she pleaded for Sami to stop. Multiple sets of hands flew around Sami encouraging him to stop but were to little avail.

With the help of others, Seth managed to shove Sami off of him before thrusting him into a crate. His fists blurs as they pounded away in retaliation. Finally, security managed to separate the two as the wrestlers continued to roar at one another.

She was surrounded by the female talent and a few interviewers as they tried their best to console her. Nia’s arms were around her serving as a hug and to keep her from running between the two hostile men. Her eyes connected with Sami’s, glossy with tears accompanied by her quivering bottom lip.

Finally, Sami agreed to be seen by the trainers. After being probed and prodded and rating his pain for the thousandth time, Sami sat shirtless with a large bag of ice tapped to his shoulder while his knuckles were being cleaned. He sighed heavily running his hand through his hair, his mind wandering to what the higher-ups what have to say about the scuffle.

“Sami”

His head whipped to the door. She was standing there; her arms wrapped around herself tears still making her eyes shine. Sami nodded to the trainer who has cleaning his knuckles, signaling him to leave. His eyes stayed focused on the irritated, busted knuckles as she entered further in the room.

“You shouldn’t be here.” He mumbled.

“I’m right where I’m supposed to be.”  She stepped even closer.

“No” Sami shook his head “you should be with Rollins. He’s the one you want after all.”

She shook her head, her eyes glued to her feet. “Seth’s never been what I wanted.”

Sami’s head snapped upward to look at her.

“Its awful really. I met you and couldn’t help but to fall for you. But I was afraid. Hell, I was terrified.” She chuckled softly. Her eyes slowly rose to meet his. “I didn’t want to lose my best friend. I didn’t want you to reject me and lose you and I didn’t want us to not work out and I lose you.” She shrugged. “Looks like I lost you anyway.”

“Woah whoa whoa let me get this straight?” Sami rose his hands as if it would pause reality long enough for him to process the information. “You wanted me but you chose Seth? How the hell does that make sense?”

Her eyes dropped again falling to his knuckles. She gently reached for his hand and the discarded cloth the trainer had been using to clean the scrapes with. With gentle strokes she ran the cloth over the bruised flesh.

“When Seth began to come on to me I saw it as a chance to move on from you. Someone I could focus on other than you. I figured I could learn to like him as something more and still have you.  But it didn’t work like that.” Sami was intrigued, hanging on her every word as she explained.

“Yeah he cheated.”

She shook her head again “It was more than that. He became abusive. Not physically but mentally. He had to control everything. What I wore, where I went. The cheating was the last straw.”

“Then why did you go back to him?” Sami snapped, snatching his hand from hers. “That night everything was perfect and you go back to him? Back to that?”

She retracted from Sami’s harsh tone before wrapping her arms around her herself again.

“It was perfect” she admitted. “That’s what scared me. I was afraid maybe you only did it to make me feel better about Seth or only saw it as a one night stand or something. And I realized being with Seth had done nothing to lessen my feelings for you. And that night” she paused shaking her head “That night only made my feelings grow. When Seth called that morning I figured it was my chance to put things back how they were. Try and fix them.”

Sami stood up quickly his face grimacing as he reached for his injured shoulder. He grunted and she reached for him in concern but he held a hand to stop her.

“You think I would do that?” his voice mixing with sadness and disbelief laced with anger. “A one night stand? With you? You know I care about you more than that.”

“I know” she whispered bowing her head. “I was just scared. I didn’t want to loose you Sami. I was selfish and staying friends was the one way I knew I was guaranteed to keep you in my life. I would rather keep you in my life and be miserable in a relationship than not have you at all.”

Sami felt his heart soften. “For you to have been miserable in a relationship you sure seemed upset when Seth cheated.”

“Just hurt that anyone could betray you like that.”

Sami slowly approached her. Her revelation had left him pondering and he realized after everything that had happened Sami’s heart still yearned for her.

“Do you want to make this work?” Sami’s voice game out softly as his fingers traced her arm softly.

“I do” she released a tearful breathy nod.

“I do too sweetheart” he admitted stepping closer and wrapping his arms around her a smile pulling at his lips.

She buried her face in his chest and breathed in his scent deeply.  

“Just not now”

Sami’s heart felt like it stopped entirely, his expression falling. He pulled away to see her face.

“W-what?”

“Sami I’ve put you through so much” she whimpered glancing at his shoulder “Emotionally and now physically.” She shook her heard “And being with Seth has messed me up emotionally with my confidence.” She glanced up at Sami’s concerned, sad eyes. “You don’t deserve to have to help clean up my messes or what Seth did to me.”

“But I want to help! I want to be there for you.” Sami pleaded his words passionate, he pulled her hands close to his chest.

She smiled at him placing a hand on his cheek and stroking his beard. “I can’t ask that of you Sami. I don’t want to build a relationship on cleaning up and rebuilding what’s been damaged. I talked to the higher ups they’re gonna let me take some time off and get myself back together. That way I can be the best me I can be. The type of me you deserve.”

“So you’re gonna leave?” Sami asked exasperated.

“Its only for a little while.” She tried to reassure him. “Do” she paused swallowing deeply.” Do you think you can wait for me?”

Sami scoffed pulling her back into his chest. “I’ve waited this long” he placed a kiss in her hairs “whats a little while longer?

______________________________________________________________

2 months later

She bit her glossy lip nervously as she waited for the elevator to reach the right floor. Her foot tapped impatiently with excitement at seeing Sami for the first time in months. The two had kept in touch with as best they could with his busy schedule resulting in maybe one or two phone calls a week. He wasn’t expecting her, she told him she would be making her return at the beginning of the next month. She nervously tucked a curl behind her ear. Seth hated her natural curls so therefore she kept them straightened for the sake of avoiding a fight but now they fell in large ‘s’ shaped waves that grazed her collar bone inches having been chopped off since her departure.

She finally felt like herself for the first time since she joined the company. Now Seth wasn’t there to dictate her hair or her clothes. She even brought back the winged eyeliner she loved so much. It had been so long since she had dressed for herself that it almost made her seem like a new person. She just hoped Sami still loved her this way.

The elevator dinged at the arrival of the floor and she exited before maneuvering the hallways looking for his room number. As she turned the corner marked with his room number she paused. Charly Caruso was walking out of the room pulling on a jacket before she stopped short and turned back to the doorway of room 713 smiling a pink tinge to her cheeks.

Her breath hitched.

She watched as the woman smiled brightly before Sami himself reached outside the door and enveloped the dark haired woman in a hug before the separated. She hung her head in defeat clutching the strap of her bag tightly. She had waited too long. Of course Sami had moved on from her. Why would she expect him to wait 2 months while she glued back the shambles of her life. Charly was so beautiful after all. Making her decision she turned on her heel to leave just as her name echoed off the corridor walls.

Taking a deep breath she plastered on a big smile and turned back to the couple

As long as he’s happy she thought to herself.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt” she smiled sheepishly.

Sami’s face was illuminating he rushed to her and picked her up in a bear hug lifting her feet from the ground as he spun them around a soft giggle falling past her lips. He placed her gently back on the floor, his arm still around her waist.

“You’re not interrupting a thing” He beamed turning back to Charly. “I’ll meet you at the arena ok?”

Charly smiled and nodded before giving her a quick hug and “Welcome back!” Sami ushered her into his room before hugging her again, bringing her closer to his chest as he buried his face in her hair and she clutched to his shoulder blades.

“I can’t believe you’re here” he said excitedly “God, you look great! I love the hair and…” He paused as he pulled away looking awestruck “You look amazing.”

She blushed looking down. “You look good too” she murmured, she decided to address the elephant in the room. “So you and Charly huh?

Sami’s face scrunched up in confusion.

“What are you talking about?”

“How long have you two been dating?” she explained, feeling her throat tighten at the statement.

Sami laughed softly “We are most definitely NOT dating. Creative changed up the interview for tonight last minute so we were just going over it before the show tonight.”

Her face was blank as she allowed the information to sink in, Sami watched her intently awaiting her reaction.

“Oh thank God!”

She jumped into his arms once again this time wrapping her legs around his waist, her face buried in his neck. Sami’s laugh echoed loudly through the room.  She pulled her head away from his neck to meet his eyes, her gaze falling to his lips momentarily

Their lips met softly at first but the kiss quickly grew more passionate. Hands were tangled in hair and tongues were exploring mouths both desperate to make up for lost time. Sami’s fingers pulled away the strap of her tantop to reach the spot on her shoulder he loved to mark when he paused.

“This is new” he whispered his hot breath bouncing off her skin. Right in the spot where he once left his mark was a small, delicate Canadian maple leaf.

She smiled at him tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. 

“I wanted something to remember you by.” she giggled pressing their noses together. Sami returned her smile before kissing the tattoo. Now she was officially marked as his. Their lips reconnected passionately before Sami pulled away shaking his head to which she whined.

“We need to stop” he breathing heavily, he placed her back on her feet as she peered up at him confused. “I want to do this right.”

He held her hands in his much larger ones before kneeling before her.

Her full name fell from his lips as their eyes locked “Will you allow me the honor of taking you to dinner tonight?”

She smiled so large she thought her cheeks would burst before she accepted. He smiled and pulled her into him again reconnecting their lips in a tender kiss.

“I’m so glad you waited for me” she smiled against his lips.

“You’re definitely worth waiting for.”