Thumbs? Dead. Wallet? Empty.

I’m giving the ants full reign of the house while your father and I are gone, so be on your best behavior.

listening to a man break up with his partner on the train and the first sentence I heard was "I just don't appreciate you cheating on me six different times, once with my own father."

People hate it when one girl is super clingy and obsessive to a concerning degree. But what if both girls in a relationship were super clingy and obsessive to a concerning degree? What could possibly go wrong?

the menstrual cup and menstrual scepter

her eyes were the sickly green of the sky before a tornado, and to his horror he discovered she could throw cows around just as easily

to his horror? weak shit. outta my way gayboy im boutta get it