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Xuebing Du
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Misplaced Lens Cap

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cherry valley forever
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Love Begins

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NASA

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taylor price
Interview Vampire Daily
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@marzeydoze

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When you get more objective about the way nature is & away from weird anthropomorphic carnivore slander it is a little funny when the baby sea turtles hatch and every other animal in like a ten mile radius goes "oh fuck yum one million mini sliders"
[ID: a screenshot of the original post's tags that read, "#real turtleheads know this is a play on sliders (turtle emoji) which are a type of terrestrial turtle. but it's also tiny hamburgers #which seems apt. #this has been another episode of Joke Explainer" /end ID]
Keeping these actually. Necessary footnote for this post
Watching a jaguar casually walk up to an adult sea turtle headed back to the water after laying her eggs and eat it like why am I in my sea turtle violence era and why are they like this. Adult sea turtles aren't especially easy to eat in the water they'll swim around with shark bites taken out of them like they're just chillin. And then on land they just kinda
Jaguar watching a sea turtle on the beach: oh fuck yum 100 pound slider
Also today I learned that since the jaguar scares off other smaller predators it's actually good for the sea turtle population if there are jaguars there. Cause less babies get eaten by Everything Else. I'm gonna be honest I didn't even consider that a jaguar could be on the beach
Every other animal in like a ten mile radius: I'm gonna be honest I didn't even consider that a jaguar could be on the beach
This changed my life
there's something so deeply dystopian to me how tech companies don't understand that a forced convenience is not a convenience at all. i'm sure autocorrect is helpful for many, but a function that forcibly changes my actual written words and punctuation is taking away my language. photo filters can be nice but i need to choose using them myself or else i have lost the ability to take the picture i want. i don't want a machine to draw or write for me. taking away the option for me to do things manually feels like violence!!!! all this talk of endless opportunity, why are you RESTRICTING me
disgustedly throws youtube autodubbing onto the pyre pile

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Goddamit i hate this fucking post. I hate it because obviously if “twelve” followed the same pattern as the other teen numbers it wouldn’t be “twoteen” it would be “seconteen”. Think about it. It’s not “threeteen” it’s “thirteen” as in “third”. It’s not “fiveteen” it’s “fifteen” as in fifth. So with that in mind, you count “first, second, third, fourth, fifth,” and so on, so eleven would be “firsteen” and twelve would be “secondteen” or “seconteen”. “Firsteen, seconteen, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen….” It just drives me absolutely mad everytime i see this post that this obvious pattern was overlooked and i cant hold in my rage anymore.
*trying to pitch public transportation to Americans* it’s like a legal form of texting while driving
im singehandedly repairing jewish-goyische relations through my outreach with my facebook friends
I briefly forgot there were normal humans named Elijah and wondered why this person thought they were getting messages from Actual Prophet and Messiah-Herald Elijah the Tishbite.
….yeah me too.
Me three.
Imagine getting visions of someone else’s holy prophet and having to text your friends like “….what am I supposed to do with that?”
I have not laughed that hard in so long I literally cannot remember when.
Jumping between the pool & sauna is gonna hit so good during my birthday party in February
I’m so proud of senshi for making it so far in the tumblr sexyman poll. I think it’s so beautiful that tumblr has reached a point where a short fat hairy bearded man is the pinnacle of sexuality for a large swath of this userbase. it’s like when you see before & after pictures of a rainforest recovering from deforestation. nature is healing and we can fight god
I hope he wins so someone will have to explain to ryoko kui what a tumblr sexyman is
I have to say I forgot the onceler’s thing was cutting down trees when I made my metaphor.

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You wake up one day and discover you've lost control over a random action or feeling!
Spin the wheel to find out what!
How bad is it?
Actually way better than before!
Its good
It's alright
It's annoying but I'll be fine
It's pretty bad
IM DEAD
worse than death
Nothing changes/results
This idea was submitted by @dbnekonico!
Yeah I think most people do
clicking 'stay signed in'-buttons used to mean that u would stay signed in
Phenomenal spare wheel cover I walked past the other day
feminist killjoy hours again, what the actual fuck is “weird girl literature” and how often do we acquiesce to the latest degrading gendered advertising campaigns
Women did not fucking pioneer horror, thriller, and science fiction as we know it for publishing to infantilize it into a high school phase
is Stephen king “weird boy literature”? Or does he get to be an adult horror novelist?
From 1849

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boring take from real 21st century idiots: bdsm is bad because it's basically torture
interesting take from a fictional 14th century monk: torture is bad because it's basically sex
Shoutout to the nun who had other nuns tie her up and pour hot wax on her as she confessed her sins
I'm sure that's true, but something tells me googling "nun tied up by other nuns" "hot wax" "confessing sins" will likely get what you might call rather un-academic results