Deep undercover or whatever you were doing. Marleneâs eyes narrowed, her jaw jerking barely an inch to the right, like Maryâs words had personified into the air and physically slapped her. There was a rough tug at the organ in her chest, pulse hitching with a stutter at the undeniable truth in the otherâs words, regardless if the brunette knew that or not. There was no way Mary knew about Malcolm, none of them knew, she had been so carefulâŚÂ
That only begged the next question, though: why say it? Her own barely addressed guilt reared its ugly head once again, deluding itself as a defensive mechanism as it roared in her chest to run, get away, retreat inside herself and isolate before any more âhypotheticalsâ were raisedâŚ. whatever rose colored glasses Marlene still wore for her old friend seemed to irrevocably shatter in that moment, suspicion leaking into the fractures created by her own paranoia. Many facets of the Mary Macdonald she had known not syncing with the one standing before her.Â
âThere was never anyone else - two years didnât change anything for me,â she huffed without thinking, and itâs close enough to the truth that it actually sounded genuine, sandwiched around the lie and making it easier to swallow. Marlene tossed her hair over her shoulder and jutted her chin up again, posturing herself so the admission didnât make her look as small as she felt. She hated that Siriusâ grasp on her had never let up, not after That Night, not after everything sheâd gone through, and only reinforced since her return. It was maddening.Â
Another deduction of Marleneâs was how pointedly Mary hadnât addressed the true concern here, her jealousy now validated as Mary sidestepped the real accusation Marlene had underhanded - Sirius and Mary, together at last, now that she had thrown Marlene under the bus and skipped away from her rotting corpse. Itâs this thought - in addition to her knowledge of their late-night hangouts on the roof of their apartment building, in addition to the jacket, in addition to every other insecurity eating away at Marlene - that has the blondeâs nails sinking into the crevices of her elbows, barely controlling the urge to claw Maryâs eyes out for even looking at Sirius twice.Â
Because it fucking hurt. Mary, Lily, Dorcas, they had spent week after week for the better part of five years listening to Marlene wax poetic about the eldest Black boy, hanging upside down in her bed. Rolling their eyes and huffing their displeasure at Marleneâs lack of shutting up as she mused about the gentility of his eyelashes, the crook of his smile, the way he seemed to copy Jamesâ obsession for ruthlessly tugging at his locks, the flashy & fierce light of silver-bullet eyes. That adoration would never die - even if Marlene had been delivered from her crush, no amount of time in the world would afford her the leniency of A million boys in London and the one she latches on to had to be the same one Marleneâs heart sat curled around since the first time she saw him, instantly captivated by a bad boy with a barking laugh and a penchant for chaos? Marlene stepped forward into Maryâs personal space, not even pretending to smile anymore, the snarl evident on her lips as her volume dropped.Â
âYouâve made woefully clear youâre not interested in being in my life anymore, Mary, so let me make a suggestion, for your sake - whatever you think is going on between you and Sirius, enjoy it,â while it lasts, Marlene already reeling for a way to fracture whatever relationship Mary seemed to believe sheâd forged with him, to dole out what the brunette had begun. âBecause if I find out youâre mouthing off about me again, about shit you obviously donât understand but desperately need to have an opinion over, I wonât hesitate to ruin you - you used to be my friend, so consider this my last gift to you. You want to talk about what Iâve done? Talk to me about it, and stop using him as a buffer for whatever bridge youâre hoping to burn here,â Marlene warned, not even thinking about what she was saying, words ringing with every drop of malice she wished she could toss out the end of her wand.Â
âDonât get on my bad side - itâs a hard place to survive these days,â lilted words were back and with that, the ire melted off her face. A pouting smirk took itâs place, but no mirth reached her eyes - they remained darkened, something sinister churning within her, begging for release. Annoyingly pretty, but jealousy was never a good look on her, even when she was trying to hide it.Â
Jealousy, Mary mused absently, was an insidious emotion. She herself knew it intimately, the filthy green tendrils wrapping themselves around oneâs throat -- depositing venom on the tongue and forcing the choice of spitting it out or swallowing it whole. Mary always opted to bury the venom within herself, allowing it to fester deep down and poison her thoughts rather than her words.Â
Marlene, it seemed, abided by the opposite approach, each of her words articulated with enough venom to kill. She had always known that Marleneâs words could cut deep, that her former friend had a tongue like a knife and a mind far faster than Maryâs own, but, until now, Marleneâs ire had never been directed at Mary herself, she had merely watched from afar, in awe of the way Marlene could use her words to strike fear or love into someoneâs heart depending on what she wanted from them. It was just another faced of Marlene that Mary had always admired, her own words always being caught in her throat, her emotions too deeply buried to ever see the light of day. Now, though, Marleneâs sharp tongue seems to be her curse, her words seeping a sort of anger that Mary had never wanted to be on the receiving end of.Â
There was never anyone else. At this, Mary almost falters, understanding what it is to care for someone, deeply and unconditionally. Understanding how it feels to long for years, to look past fights and flaws and distance, only to realise that the affection will always remain unrequited. For Mary, two years had changed many things, two years had given her enough distance to finally let go of Marlene, even if it took the blondeâs return for her to finally realise thatâs what had happened. For Marlene, no such thing had happened, her feelings for Sirius clearly still as raw and pure as they had been when they were teenagers. For a moment, she wants to tell Marlene that itâll be okay, that she knows how she feels. But she doesnât, for as quickly as the flash of empathy comes, it is gone, replaced again by bitter anger.
If not for the adrenaline thrumming through her veins, she may have found the situation laughable. All it took for Marlene to see her was to let her believe Mary had won the affections of the love of Marleneâs life. The notion of Mary and Sirius is as funny to Mary as it is improbable, but she knows the danger that love poses, that a mixture of pain and anger and jealousy are forming the words that exit Marleneâs lips. She could quell Marleneâs jealousy in a few simple words -- youâve got nothing to worry about, heâs like a brother, Iâd sooner eat another sour pickle ice cream than sleep with Sirius Black -- but part of her is relishing in Marleneâs jealousy, in the attention. Marlene had failed to notice Maryâs clear affection for years, Mary had listened to her drone on and on about Sirius while longing for nothing more than his name to be replaced with hers, and now Marlene was getting a taste of what Mary had felt, hopelessly longing after a boy who loves someone else -- or, at least, who Marlene thinks loves someone else.
She resists the urge to shuffle back as Marlene invades her personal space, keeps her eyes level even as every instinct she has tells her to run. Marleneâs words may be sinister, but she doesnât believe the blonde will hurt her, at least not physically, though she knows Marlene would certainly be capable if she wanted. âIâve made it clear?â She says, the words tumbling from her lips before she has the sense to stop them, âYouâre the one who disappeared for two years, Marlene. Youâre the one who left without a word, like - like our friendship was nothing. Youâre the one who came back in the worst possible way and then pretended things were normal. Youâre the one...â Who killed Mulciber. Who took away my chance at revenge. Who let him die a martyr, be remembered as a good man -- âYouâre the one who ruined everything, Marlene, not me.â
âIâve never been able to talk to you.â She says, voice audibly shaking though she does her best to keep it steady. âYou donât care about me, or anyone, for that matter. Youâre selfish, and it took me too long to realise it. You want to know why youâre not with Sirius?â She asks, pausing before she speaks, searching Marleneâs eyes for something, though she doesnât know what, remorse, perhaps? Guilt? âItâs not because of me, and itâs not because of Sirius. Itâs because of you. Because you left, and because youâve hurt people, and because you canât see all the damage you cause.â
Mary shakes her head, breaking eye contact and looking to the ground, still spattered magenta with slowly drying dye. âWhatever, Marlene. Iâm willing to take my chances on your bad side, Iâm done biting my tongue for your sake.â