It’s like that mafia crew that made a pizza joint as a front but their pizza was so good they just went legit

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@marx-soul
It’s like that mafia crew that made a pizza joint as a front but their pizza was so good they just went legit

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There's an inverse gradient when it comes to notional nudity in funny cartoon animals.
No clothes at all? Not naked.
Shirt but no pants? Good for a laugh, but unless they're seriously playing it up it doesn't really count.
Socks and shoes and nothing else? That critter is definitely catching an indecent exposure charge.
(Weirdly, though, if you go with socks, shoes and gloves it's back to "not naked" again.)
( @thatcactusgirl )
>settings
>world settings
>set to "your oyster"
the concept of the "shower beer" appears in folklore and mythology from around the world

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☠️
@ho_mori
eating #myballs !
ewww cringeee
Bicycle theft is the number-one crime issue confronting our society today. If you have a nice bicycle – or even a crappy one – and you park it outside, someone may try to steal it. Worse, the entire bike-lock industry, which is supposed to protect your beloved chunk of alloy, seems to be just fine selling turd-ass products. Lots of bike locks can be defeated with a piece of windshield wiper blade, or sneezing particularly loudly in their vicinity. Even more can be trivially destroyed in seconds by the battery-powered angle grinders that the rest of us use for innocent purposes, such as stealing copper from substations.
When confronted with this problem, I directed my top scientists to develop a bicycle security system that doesn't suck. You might be excited to hear that we've succeeded, although not in the way that we first expected.
What's the problem with bike locks? Locking your bike advertises that the bike is valuable. You don't want it to get stolen. This immediately informs the criminal mind that they can probably get, like, twelve bucks for it, or in the worst case, use it to ride to the meeting with their parole officer. Our scientists determined that we could simply leave a bike unlocked, and it would get stolen less frequently, but still be stolen. We suspected lazy criminals. Confusing, and not helpful. Everyone was ordered back to the drawing board, and pizza party privileges were revoked until they came up with something new.
Welcome to DecoyBike®, our innovative two-part solution to bicycle theft. It comes as an exact 1:1 carbon-fibre replica of an expensive touring bicycle, except it's packed with five kilograms of Semtex® plastic explosive. You simply strap it to your back while riding around town, and then leave it in a bike rack alongside your "real" bike when it's time to park up. Then, you lock up your bike with a good lock, and the DecoyBike® with a crappy lock – still providing a valuable challenge for newbie bike thieves, but broadcasting also to them that they can steal that shit all they want.
Once the DecoyBike® gets far enough away from your good bike, it detonates in a massive fireball. Sure, this isn't great for the rest of society, and isn't particularly helpful re: recidivism, but we think it will feel very satisfying. Just don't forget that you brought it to work with you, and pedal off from the bike rack to pick up some Jimmy John's. Everyone else at the bike rack is going to be really pissed that you wrecked their nice bicycles. Then they'll want revenge, too.

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happy pride month
What am i doing
You don't notice subtle changes in culture as they're happening until one day, you reflect on how jarring it would be if you, in the year of our lord 2026, heard something described as being "made of win"
We don't make things out of win anymore. Win is too expensive. You'll be lucky to find something made out of stalemate. Mostly we've been using decaying status quo or even outright lose as our construction materials
I have in my possession certain heritage items made of win, but they have to be kept under archival conditions due to the win shortage nowadays.
Even when you see things claiming to be made of win nowadays, it's usually no more than a 20% win composite with concessions. Or it's made of "fool's win" (pyrrhite)
the widespread idea/meme that qifrey and olruggio are living in two different genres where qifrey thinks he's living a greek tragedy and olruggio thinks he is living in a slice of life BL manga is of course very funny, however that is to me a misrepresentation of olly's perspective specifically. I think olruggio thinks he's living in a slightly depressing piece of nordic social realism cinema about how life will never be quite what you wanted it to be and all you can do is get to terms with that as best you can and then either way one day you'll at least die
Sora and Claire franchise switch

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slow reaction time raiden
the feelings mutual, boss.