mar ꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱

back from 4 hikes, I’m getting strong <3

i do things now. i do new things and i seek out what scares me. i explore and invite things into my life. i do everything i say i will do, i keep my word. i show up if i say i will. but it never gets easier and it never feels more natural and i never develop what i think i am missing which are instincts and all in all just the ability to sit with my flesh and all it's cells and nerve endings

a thousand tiny suicides

i have done many things most humans never do or never have to do, too, and i cling on to that as a sense of pride or proof of courage maybe as a sign of willingness to try because everyone loves someone who says yes but just because i can physically do something it doesn't mean i will enjoy it or learn from it and at a certain point you have to ask yourself who am i doing this for who do i have to prove this to

it's a party tonightttt then i leave for my trip early early tomorrow

love that u thought of me immediately lmao