dysfunction

I saw a photo of this pose while doomscrolling and couldn’t help myself.

"You did good, tiger."

set in the BEAST universe - in which Atsushi sometimes has a hard time turning back when he's been fighting in tiger form for too long.

What a character wants and what they need are two completely different things.

Dazai has acknowledged Akutagawa's strength, and it wasn't enough. It wasn't enough, because Akutagawa doesn't even fucking know what he needs. In my understanding, I'd go so far as to say he has never needed a reason to live, and God knows Dazai has never provided him with one either way– because Akutagawa is very good at finding reasons himself. He is a survivor, that's who he is, man is always finding reasons to take action, to live.

What Akutagawa needs is acknowledgement of his pain. He literally needs someone to see all the shit he has gone through and to tell him he's done enough. That he's done well. That he did his best.

This boy has not rested a day in his life, he has always had to fight to survive, he has prevailed where many others would have perished. He is always fighting and fighting and fighting, and through all that hurt and trauma, all Akutagawa has ever needed is a gentle touch. That which is most foreign to him. Care, compassion, understanding, sympathy.

"You damn fool