marie

Maybe the last one was the most painful to see, because he knew you had gotten it from Peter Callahan, who was three years older than you. No one at school could believe that he had actually given you a Valentine’s Day present at the parking lot after class, especially because you had been so cringey and obvious about your crush from the start. Steve couldn’t help but notice that even Nancy Wheeler had been shocked, staring at the strange exchange between you and the High School boy, because he was too focused on the way she held hands with Jonathan Byers next to the school’s entrance.

‘Sorry.’ He said feeling the jealousy rising on his chest again as he thought about the undelivered envelope hidden in his backpack, with Nancy’s name on top, and three handwritten little words on the card inside that he’d never be able to say out loud to her. ‘I’m in a weird mood.’

You stayed silent for a few seconds as you and Steve walked together to your street’s direction. The sound of the plastic wrapped around the little bouquet annoyed him, as well as the clink of the little heart locket that hung from your neck. It was as unbearable as the sound of your steps, of your breath next to him. Maybe the thing that annoyed him the most was that your worried eyes were fixed on him, and he could feel the heat rushing to his cheeks as he tried to walk faster.

‘I’m sorry about Nancy.’ You finally said.

He rolled his eyes at you, shaking his head as he looked away towards the street.

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’ He still couldn’t face you as he turned into his house’s porch, and you followed behind.

‘Steve.’

‘Do you always have to follow me?’ He snapped, turning back in front of his house’s door. ‘Like seriously, don’t you have any other friends?’

‘No.’ you said crossing your arms over your chest. ‘Neither do you, Steve.’

‘Are we doomed to be unpopular losers forever?’ He complained once he opened the door.

You rolled your eyes at his dramatism as you shut the door behind you while he climbed the stairs of the empty house. As usual, you followed him, hearing the echoes of your steps while you walked down the hallway that led to his room.

He heard you release a sigh when he threw his glasses on the bed before he jumped on it, pressing his face against the mattress as he let out a sound of annoyance.

‘Steve, stop being dramatic.’ You said. ‘We’re not unpopular and we’re not losers. We’re just fourteen. Nobody’s happy at fourteen, look at Joan of Arc.’

‘She was supposed to be in the library after second period.’ His voice was choked by the pillow under his head as he complained. ‘I was going to hide the card inside her copy of The Scarlet Letter.’

‘How romantic.’ You said under your breath as you sat down next to him.

‘It would’ve been romantic.’ He said with his face still against the pillow. ‘It was a letter hidden inside a book about letters.’

‘Oh.’ You said before you repressed a laugh. ‘Steve that’s not—’

‘But you wanna know why she wasn’t at the library?’ He said as he sat up. ‘Because Jonathan Byers left a note inside her locker! I heard Barbara when she was telling Carol during lunch. They were making out in the second-floor toilets.’

You made a face of revulsion as you sat better next to him, and he rubbed his eyes with his hands in frustration.

‘Steve, that’s disgusting.’

‘Disgusting?’ He repeated as he looked back at you. ‘It’s genius! Nobody ever checks the second-floor toilets. Ever.’

‘Yeah, but there’s nothing romantic about making out in the same place people go to pee.’ You said as you searched for his eyes.

‘It’s easy for you to say that, look at all the shit you got!’ He said pointing out at the little pile of presents you had left on his desk.

‘Steve.’ You said looking back at him seriously. ‘Most of the cards are from the seventh graders I’ve tutored this year. And well, yes, I guess I got some nice chocolates from Tommy, but he was very mean about it… He’s always so mean to me.’

Steve sat better on the bed to look back at you seriously, hands resting on your shoulders as he spoke slowly.

‘Needy, a High School guy gave you flowers in front of everyone.’ He said, mortified. ‘And not just any guy, but Peter Callahan. Captain of the basketball team, president of the class…’

‘…Boyfriend of Patricia Solari.’ You shook your head softly.

‘What?’

A smile of pity took over your face as you looked back at him.

‘Steve, Peter doesn’t have a crush on me. He’s seventeen, he’s on his way to college and he’s dating the head cheerleader. Our parents are friends.’ You shrugged. ‘Pat volunteers at the animal shelter with my sister sometimes and I think she mentioned my annoying crush on Peter once and…’

Steve observed the way you looked down at your hands while you bit the inside of your cheek.

‘Patty knows I’ve been having a hard time at school, Steve. She heard Carol call me Needy once at the mall. She just wanted to do something nice for me.’

‘Carol called you Needy?’ Steve’s eyebrows arched at the idea of someone else calling you by the nickname he had given you as his hands fell on your sides. He also knew Carol could be worse that mean sometimes, he had been the target of her practical jokes many times.

‘Promise you won’t tell anyone.’ You asked anxiously as you looked back at him. ‘I don’t need people know that I get pity Valentine’s flowers.’

Steve shook his head softly as he considered this new piece of information, feeling the heat rushing to his face for completely different reasons before he lifted his eyes.

‘Of course I won’t tell anyone, Needy.’ He said softly, then he opened his lips to say something, and he seemed to think about it for a second. ‘I’m sorry, I’ll stop calling you that from now on.’

‘I don’t mind it.’ You shrugged then as you sat closer to him. ‘I actually like it, it’s kinda sweet. I just don’t like it when you’re mean about it.’

Steve took a deep breath as he scratched the back of his neck nervously. He felt the heat rushing to his face as you stood up to walk towards his desk, grabbing the heart-shaped tin of chocolates that Tommy H. had given you today.

‘Right.’ He murmured as you sat next to him. ‘I’ll try not to be mean about it.’

You didn’t say anything else as you opened the tin, instead you just offered him a white chocolate truffle in the shape of a heart as a sign of peace. He took it gladly, taking it to his mouth while you both tasted the sugary, rich texture of the chocolate in silence.

‘If it makes you feel better, Nancy’s got no dignity anyways.’ You said after a while. ‘I wouldn’t make out inside a school toilet even if it was with Peter Callahan.’

‘That’s mean.’ He said, but he was smiling as he took another truffle.

‘I’m just being honest.’ You shook your head as you sat straight next to him. ‘My sister told me a good make out session is all about the time and place. She said that if you get any of those wrong then it can end up being gross.’

‘Hmm.’ He let out a sound of resignation as his eyes got lost on something in the distance. ‘There’s no way I will ever know anyways. Especially now that I’ve got to wear glasses. I’m going to die a virgin.’

‘Oh, Steve, please.’ You rolled your eyes as you extended your hand over his bedsheets to grab the supposedly horrendous glasses. He rested his chin on his hand as his elbow sat on his flexed knee while you cleaned the spectacles with the hem of your skirt. ‘Come here.’

He didn’t move as you carefully placed the glasses over his ears, pushing softly so the bridge would rest over his nose. His eyes stayed on you as your hands hovered on either side of his face, your concentrated stare fixed on the frames before it fell back on his eyes.

‘There we go.’ You said under your breath as a soft smile took over your pretty face.

‘I look like such a nerd.’ He whispered, insecurity overflowing his tone as he looked away. He hated himself as soon as he said it, as soon as you started shaking your head.

‘You look smart.’ You said, trying to search for his eyes. ‘You look like… like Peter Parker or Clark Kent! And even those guys got laid at some point.’

‘If you say so.’ He said sadly.

‘Well, one thing they didn’t do was sit around and feel sorry for themselves, Steve.’ He looked back at you as you crossed your arms over your chest and sat back. ‘You can’t be one of those boys that think everything is about sex. I won’t let you.’

He considered your words as he sat straight, placing his hands over his knees while he thought about your words, blushing once again. God, he hated when you lectured him. He hated when you made him blush.

‘It’s not about sex.’ He murmured before shrugging. ‘I guess I just…’

He saw the way you lifted your eyebrows as you waited patiently for him.

‘I’ve liked Nancy my whole life,’ He nervously played with the sleeve of his sweater as he sat closer to you. ‘And it sucks that she doesn’t even look at me, you know? But I also feel that everyone in our grade is constantly talking about kissing and making out and touchingand I haven’t experienced any of that. And I feel shitty about it, Needy.’

A few seconds of silence passed, and he finally looked at you when the embarrassment became too unbearable. You were lost in your thoughts, looking at the patterns of his patchwork bedsheets while you bit the inside of your cheek.

‘I get that.’ You admitted softly. ‘I always feel like… I’m destined to live a life where nobody chooses me or something.’

‘Nah.’ He murmured softly. When you lifted your eyes, he was smiling sincerely as he sat straight next to you. ‘S different for girls. You know that. Also, I’ve got faith that’ll you’ll eventually outgrow your annoying phase. You can’t be needy forever.’

‘You’re such an asshole.’ You said under your breath as you pushed his shoulder with yours, but he seized the opportunity to wrap his arms on your side and embrace you into a hug.

The occasions where you and Steve touched were rare. Not only were you respectful of each other’s space in that awkward and almost cruel way so common during puberty, but there was a certain self-consciousness that didn’t allow you two to do the things that came so easily when you were younger. It seemed that at some point between turning eleven and now, hugging had become an abnormality that only took place on birthdays, after reluctant apologies or as a way to appease the effects of a mean joke.

Yet this time it was different. Maybe it was the silence that followed, that felt so mature and unknown. When you rested your head against his shoulder it didn’t feel embarrassing but natural, because it was only then that the weight of your shared loneliness fell in between you and him. It was a pure moment of fully mutual understanding.

‘Needy.’ He called softly.

You sat straight almost immediately, worry taking over your eyes as if such a little gesture would ruin your friendship forever. So needy. It almost tendered him, but he couldn’t say it out loud because he knew you’d call him arrogant. He knew it’d make you feel insecure. He liked that, that you were so careful, that you were so needy. Needy, needy, needy.

You seemed to relax when he kept his hand on your shoulder, inexperienced fingers rubbing softly over the sleeve of your pink knitted sweater as he looked back at you.

‘What’s that thing you sister said?’ He asked softly. ‘About time and place?’

‘Oh.’ You hid your hands in between your knees as all trace of worry dissipated from your face. ‘She said that make out sessions are all about where and when. Of course, that depends on what people like. For example, she said she doesn’t like to do it at the movies because it gives her a false sense of intimacy, because it’s dark but there’s still people around you.’

‘Hm.’ He considered it for a second before he looked back at you. ‘What do you think about that?’

‘Me?’ You asked softly before he nodded. ‘I don’t know. I guess I agree. I don’t mind the when so much, but I do think I wouldn’t be able to enjoy myself if I feel like I might get caught. What do you think?’

Steve’s strokes on your arm stopped for a second as he wondered. He had imagined his first kiss on so many occasions that at this point he didn’t think too much about the little details surrounding the event. He just wanted to be kissed, touched, liked.

‘I don’t think I care about the when or where as much as I worry about the who.’ He said softly.

You nodded once.

‘My sister did mention something about that. She said that…’ Your hands had lifted to play with the little heart locket that hung from the chain on your neck. Steve’s lips lifted softly as he looked back at you, sitting more confidently. ‘She said that when it comes to physical stuff it’s just better to do it with people you trust at first, rather than people you just like. I think about that a lot, especially when I get scared.’

‘Scared?’ He frowned as he leaned back slightly before he whispered softly. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, I guess I get self-conscious very easily.’ You shrugged as you looked away for a second, because you just couldn’t look back at him while you spoke about this. ‘I don’t want to feel like I’m being taken advantage of just because I don’t know what I’m doing. Or I’m just…’ Your voice turned very small as you swallowed hard, and Steve thought your eyes were turning glossy before you blinked quickly. ‘Kind of terrified that I might not be assertive enough to say no if somebody tries to force me into something.’

Steve swallowed hard at your confession, and he couldn’t help but keep rubbing your arm, this time a bit purposely as he felt himself soften inside.

‘You’re right.’ He whispered. ‘That does sound scary. But it doesn’t have to be that way.’

‘I just don’t want it to suck.’ You said in a tone of resignation as you looked down at your hands.

‘It won’t.’ He smiled down at you as you bit your lip, unsure of his words.

‘How do you know?’ He could feel that you were fighting the need of rolling your eyes at him.

Steve shrugged as he felt a sudden rush of confidence taking over him.

‘I just do.’ He simply said. ‘You’re pretty, you smell nice, you look like a good kisser.’ He shrugged again. ‘You’re needy. Guys like that.’

You finally rolled your eyes at him, shaking your head as he pulled you in for another side hug. He didn’t know where all this sudden need to have you closer to his body was coming from, but his skin was warm, and you did smell good, and he liked it when you got mad at him.

‘What if they don’t?’ You said after a while. Your head had once again found its place on his shoulder and Steve discovered that if he leaned closer to you, you could lay more comfortably under his neck. ‘What if I suck? Or worse, what if I’m good at it but I become so needy nobody wants me?’

‘Needy.’

‘Exactly.’

‘No, Needy,’ Steve said as he leaned back so you’d look back at him. You looked dead worried as his hands soothingly rubbed your shoulders and he nodded once. ‘Stay still. Breathe.’

You did as he said, following the pace in which he was rubbing your forearm on each side of your body as your breathing pattern turned slower. You felt calmer, as he looked back at you, as he studied your face, staring at your partly opened mouth. Maybe it was the sudden air of maturity that had pierced you that afternoon like one of cupid’s arrows, making you feel much more lucid now that you sat this close to him.

‘I guess it makes sense,’ You admitted softly as you studied his face too. Steve had a pretty mouth, his lips were plump, maybe a bit needy too. ‘Right?’

‘As long as you trust me.’ He said softly, looking for your eyes. ‘Do you?’

‘Yeah.’ You subtly tilted your head to your side as you searched for his eyes. ‘Of course I do.’

Steve nodded once, observing your face for a second to make sure that you still wanted this. Or maybe to give you time to change your mind if you wished to.

You didn’t seem to give any signs that you were going to, so one of his hands climbed down over the fabric of your sweater to hold the wrist you rested on the bed. He leaned in slowly, unsure of his movements, of the air in between you two. He wanted you to know that his intentions were good and harmless, that he wanted you to feel nice.

‘I just want a kiss, okay?’ Steve whispered when you closed your eyes. His nose was brushing yours and you looked so pretty, so ready. His heart was beating so hard he could hear it bumping against his ears. ‘Maybe two.’

His mouth clashed softly against the little smile that his last words had managed to steal from you. He wanted to be tender, but he didn’t really know how to, so all he could do after a few seconds of warmth was lean back again.

It caught him off guard when your hand fell on the collar of his neck, keeping him there, not too far and not too close from you as you stared at each other.

‘That was barely a peck.’ You whispered. It wasn’t an accusation, and you weren’t teasing him. It had just never occurred to him that you wanted to experience the full thing with him. Something neither of you how to do, or what it looked like or how it felt. ‘Should we try…?’

‘We can try.’ He said a bit too quick as he sat better on the bed. Your hand was still holding his sweater, and he wanted it there for as long as this kept going. ‘Let’s try.’

You nodded once. This time your eyes stayed open as you pulled him in, looking from his mouth to his pupils as he waited for your warm lips.

Steve tried not to overthink when your lips were on his again. This time you moved your mouth a bit more, catching his lower lip first, then the upper one. It was wet in a good way, in an irresistible way. He couldn’t help but sigh deeply as he felt you open your mouth, like women did in the movies, and he thought it’d be a good idea to maybe embrace you a bit tighter.

His nervous hand rested against your waist, but he didn’t dare to move it anywhere. Higher would be too close to your chest, lower would be too close to your hip. Instead, he just used it as a soft spot to hold on to while he leaned in a bit closer, tilting his head slowly before you decided where you wanted him. Your other hand seemed to respond his question when it came to rest behind his neck, stroking the hair there before you sighed deeply.

Steve pushed his nerves aside then, he tried to remind himself to stay conscious, to pay attention to your reactions, as his tongue first stroked the little gap in between your lips. He felt the effect of this seemingly small gesture everywhere in his body, feeling the blood rushing to find shelter in every single space it could find. He was sweating a little too, but he didn’t get the time to feel embarrassed because your tongue was peeking out of its hiding place too, playing with his in an almost flirty manner that he would’ve never thought you’d be capable of.

There were little sounds of wetness, the results of your shared inexperienced that you tried to ignore. Still, when you both managed to get used to the odd yet melting sensation of each other’s tongues, there was space for a more slow-paced tenderness so improper of your age. You cupped his cheeks and brushed his cheekbone with your thumb, he fisted the fabric of your sweater when you attempted to lean back. It was all there, alive and throbbing in between you two for a second, and then it vanished just as quickly when you had to grasp for air.

February 1983.

‘What are you doing here, weirdo?’ Your voice startled Steve when you walked inside the tent. ‘I’ve been looking everywhere for you.’

He looked back at you, eyes peaking over his book as his glasses rested on his nose. The lantern your mom had given you for the trip was next to his face, illuminating the pages he was reading and his blushed face as he seemed to be hiding from your gaze.

‘I just wanted some quiet.’ He simply said before resuming his reading.

‘Steve, everyone out there is about to get drunk and you here reading… what?’ You said, trying to read the cover of the book. ‘What is that?’

He then lifted the book to show you the cover of the novel he was reading, the title wasn’t what got your attention really, it was Stephen King’s name what made you roll your eyes at him.

‘Very on theme.’ You said before kicking his leg over the sleeping bag. ‘C’mon. Out. Now.’

‘I really don’t feel like drinking tonight, Needy.’ He admitted softly as he placed his bookmark back on the page.

‘What!’ You zipped the door of the tent behind you before you looked back at him as if he was insane. ‘Steve, Joyce Byers is fast asleep as we speak, and Principal Hopper won’t be here until tomorrow morning. This is our only chance to do something like this in the middle of nowhere, what is wrong with you?’

‘I just…’ He rubbed his eyes with his hands as he took a deep breath, ‘I just don’t feel excited anymore, Needy.’

He saw the way you looked away half worried, half disappointed as you crossed your arms over your chest. It was cold out there, the oversized turtleneck you wore over your leggings made you look so cozy. He didn’t understand why you wanted so badly to get drunk out there where it was damp and freezing while you could just simply stay here with him.

‘Is this about Jonathan and Nancy?’ You finally said.

‘What?’

‘You know exactly what I’m talking about.’ You looked back at him seriously. ‘S not like they’ve been trying to hide their lovey-dovey PDA since they got here. How long has it been anyways, four years?’

‘They’re turning three years together today.’

‘Oh my god.’ You let out a growl of frustration as you tapped your foot on the ground. ‘You keep count?’

‘Well, ‘s not like it’s easy to forget. It’s Valentine’s Day, Needy.’

‘You need to get over this girl, Steve.’

‘I am over her.’ He sat up then, crossing his arms over his knees as he looked back at you. ‘That’s not the reason why I don’t want to go out there.’

You didn’t believe him, and he knew it. He still sat behind her in class, you had caught him staring at her neck many times during the last three years as you moved from middle school to high school together. You had witnessed his attempts to establish an honest friendship with her, but Nancy’s receptiveness only seemed to hurt Steve more, because he would never be able to be just friends with Nancy Wheeler.

‘So, why not then?’ You asked softly as you moved to sit next to him. He let you make yourself comfortable inside the little tent as you searched for his eyes, and he thought about what to say. ‘What is it?’

Steve shrugged softly. ‘What it always is. Everyone out there ‘s doing fun stuff and I feel awkward and weird, like I’m never going to fit in.’

‘But you do fit in.’ You murmured as you searched for his eyes, but Steve felt was too embarrassed to look back at you right then. ‘I promise you; people are not thinking about it as much as you are.’

‘No, Needy.’ He shook his head softly before looking back at you. ‘You fit in. You’ve got guys like Dylan Dunn asking you on dates and girls like, Danielle Parkinson asking you for help with the yearbook and I don’t even know which college I want to go…’

‘Steve.’ Your hand fell on his shoulder as you searched for his eyes, and he felt so lost. So confused.

Your hand climbed down over his sweater to land on his hand, and you squeezed his fingers with yours, they were cold. He still didn’t know why you wanted to go out there when it was so warm and safe in here.

‘Can you just stay with me tonight?’ He asked softly as he brushed your hand with his fingers. ‘I’ll join whatever you ask me to join next time. I’ll go to one of those parties at Billy Hargrove’s house even if that means I might get punched on the face again.’

You shook your head as you let out a silly laugh, laying back over the sleeping bag as you pulled your sleeves over your hands. He felt more relaxed when he realised you were staying, hearing the noises of teenage excitement in the distance as he laid down next to you.

‘You know, High School hasn’t been what I thought it would be like for me either.’ You whispered softly as you looked up at the tent’s ceiling. ‘And I can’t believe it’ll be over in just a few months.’

He shrugged before looking back at you. The light of the lantern illuminated your profile subtly, and out there, under all the laughs of the drunk teenagers, he could hear the noise of the crickets.

‘I think you’ve done pretty well.’ He said softly. ‘Better than me, at least. People talk about you.’

‘People call me needy.’ You said annoyed as you turned on your side to face him, but you couldn’t look back at him, playing with your sleeves while he breathed next to you.

‘So?’ He said softly. ‘Don’t be silly, I know you haven’t done any that stuff.’

‘Still.’ You shook your head. ‘Steve, it’s so embarrassing. I’m not that needy, am I?’

‘Sometimes.’ He said under a smile that turned into a laugh as you let out a frustrated sigh.

Steve’s arms caught you before you could even attempt to turn your back to him, and you let him hug you from your side while still playing nervously with your hands.

‘I’m just joking.’ He whispered before kissing your scalp. ‘Don’t be silly, they don’t know you.’

You hummed softly as your body melted into his, searching for his warmth as your head hid in his neck. Needy like only he knew you could be. And he wrapped his arm around you, because Steve had learned that when it came to these things, it never harmed your friendship when he cured that touch starvation you seemed to suffer from. And you weren’t selfish with it, if anything the hand that had climbed to stroke the hairs of his neck was calming his anxiety too.

‘Is it always going to be like this?’ He whispered softly over your scalp. ‘Is she ever going to see me?’

‘I don’t know, Steve.’ You said in the same tone as your arm hugged him tighter. He wondered how you knew that he needed it so much. ‘Maybe one day.’

Steve’s only response was to hug you closer to him, to stroke your back, to hum softly as someone out there shouted drunk words.

‘Do you remember our first kiss?’ He smiled fondly at the memory as he rested his cheek on your head. Softly, you laughed under his embrace. He loved that you remembered it as tenderly as he did, that he could mention it so casually and get a warm reaction in return. There were no secrets between you and him, the kiss had never made things weird. You had been just two innocent kids doing innocent things, it was as simple as that.

‘I do.’ You said softly. ‘Nobody I know has a first kiss story as good as us.’

His smile turned wider at your words, and he couldn’t help but leave another soft kiss on your scalp before taking a deep breath. You smelled good, always good. Always like you.

‘I wish things could be as easy as they were back then.’ He admitted in a whisper. ‘No pressure. No rumours. No bullshit. Just harmless fun.’

You both stayed silent for a while as he kept stroking your back, noticing your breathing pattern, wondering if you were tired. He wanted to keep talking to you, this was your last school trip before graduation in July. Then you’d be gone for college, and he’d be stuck here or maybe away on a different state. Who knew.

‘I mean they could be.’ You murmured under his embrace. ‘If you want to.’

‘What do you mean?’

There was a different kind of spark in your eyes when you leaned back to have a look at him, something serious and yet sweetly familiar overflowing from your gaze while your hands landed on his chest.

‘My sister gave me some condoms. Just in case.’ You shrugged shyly. ‘I thought I might get a chance to use them with Dylan, but…’

Steve stayed quiet as you shrugged again, unable to finish your sentence as you played with the collar of his sweater. He took the liberty of lifting a hand to cup your chin in between his thumb and his index finger, so you’d look back at him.

‘I don’t know?’ Your voice was so small, so low, that everything in him felt weak. ‘I rather use them with you.’

‘As long as you still trust me.’ He rested his forehead against yours then, you were smiling softly as you looked up back at him, feeling the warmth of your skin underneath the layers.

‘What kind of question is that?’ You rolled your eyes as you moved a bit higher up so your faces could be at the same level. ‘Do you still remember how to kiss me?’

He let out an arrogant laugh as he cupped your face, stealing a quick peck from your mouth that got you following his lips as he leaned back teasingly.

‘I’ve actually gotten better at it, Needy.’ He whispered against your mouth. ‘I’ve learned a thing or two since the last time.’

‘Hm.’ You hummed softly as you shut your eyes. ‘Show me?’

Steve slowly took in the image of your pretty face, eyes closed and mouth partly open as he cupped your face with both of his hands. He knew it took a lot more than just attraction to stay so still and so ready for someone, it took trust, it took comfort to be able to be so vulnerable.

His kiss was wet from the beginning. He had made out with a few girls here and there throughout the last years, but he had never known someone else’s mouth so well to be able to explore dominance as he wanted to do it with you.

It was just much easier; it had always been. You melted quickly under his touch, you let him lick your lower lip before his tongue could wander inside. You opened your mouth, yeah, but now you also let out the smallest sounds as he kissed you. Your body had a life of its own, pulling him closer, wrapping a leg on top of his hip. Needy. He just loved it.

Your hands sneaked inside his sweater first, cold skin burning against his hot chest as your tongue stroked his.

‘M so cold.’ You whispered needily under his mouth.

‘S alright, Needy, I’ve got you.’ Steve cooed as his head hid inside your neglected neck. His mouth was messy and hungry as he left wet kisses under your jaw, next to your ear, hands overwhelmed at everything they could potentially touch underneath your clothes. ‘M gonna get you so ready, and then we’re gonna fuck and I promise ‘s gonna be nice and sweet. ‘S that want you want, babe?’

‘Yeah.’ You moaned softly as your hands stroked his hair and you kissed his ear clumsily. ‘That’swhatIwant.‘S exactly what I want.’

He swallowed hard, leaning back slowly, stare falling from your mouth to your lust-filled eyes while something sweet twisted inside him. Steve wondered then, as you looked back at him, how often other people got to share something this pure with another person. The freedom of being embarrassing, clumsy, of not knowing what to do or where to go.

‘Guide me, yeah?’ He said as his hands wrapped around your waist and his nose brushed against yours. He had to close his eyes as he felt the heat rush to his face. ‘Where can I touch?’

‘I-I don’t know.’ You said softly, he could feel you panting under his palm. ‘Anywhere?’

‘Guide me.’ He said again as he shook his head. ‘I’ll touch where you want me to touch.’

Your choky breath echoed through his ears when you placed your hands on his wrists, guiding him through corners of your body that other guys that had absently rubbed or touched with greedy indifference before. His warm, big palms followed your lead as you guided him towards your covered breasts, that he cupped just briefly, eyes still closed, before you directed him lower down. Steve’s hands savoured the curves of your hips before he felt your palm rest on his fingers, guiding them towards your butt while you led his other hand to the warmth in between your legs.

He let out a deep breath when he was able to cup that sweat heat with more confidence, with curiosity. You moaned softly at this simple gesture, and he could feel you turning hotter under his touch, he wondered if you were wet, brain full of stupid horny questions: How much, how sticky, how tasty. His mind filled with obscene thoughts of what he could do to you; what you could do to him, things he had seen in adult movies, things he had thought about in bed, products of his teenage imagination and dirty creativity. He had to take a deep, slow breath before he could get too ahead of himself.

‘Let’s get you naked.’ He painted softly as he pecked your mouth desperately. ‘Before I lose my goddamn mind.’

In a difference instance maybe you would’ve laughed, but instead you let out a sound as desperate as his request. In clumsy movements, you both started getting rid of your clothes. Sweaters falling on the sides of the tiny tent, bottoms ending next to the zipped door. Steve’s glasses were probably the only accessory that was placed neatly next to the lantern before he was pulling your jaw to his face.

He was mesmerized by it all as you whimpered under him: your mismatched underwear, the unshaved corners of your skin, the little scars and moles you had collected throughout the years.

‘Shhh, Needy!’ He whispered against your mouth as his hands wandered from your stomach up to your breasts, stroking them softly before diving his face in them. He was laughing softly over your skin as you whimpered again, unable to concentrate by how turned on you were.

‘I can’t be quiet.’ You said in a half whisper, half moan; then you arched your back when you felt his hands searching blindly for the clasps of your bra.

‘Why?’ He whispered against your skin as he tried to work out the hooks. ‘Are you very needy? Are you needy for me?’

You bit your lip as your hands found his under your back, clumsily unclasping the garment before you threw it away. You were needy, you just were maybe too proud or too horny to admit it. He loved it, smiling against your neck as he left a trace of kisses down to your chest, starting on your clavicles and ending on your perky nipples. He took them into his mouth with greedy intent, making them wet with his tongue, cupping them with his hands. God, he wanted them all to himself. He wanted you all to himself.

Another choky whimper left your mouth when his kisses went even lower. There wasn’t a lot of space on the tent as he sat on his knees to have a better look at you, and he could’ve sworn that for the shortest second, he could hear steps outside.

He was smiling softly when he hovered over your partly naked body, about to tell you that you’d might need to cover your mouth with something if you kept being this loud.

‘Can you wear your glasses?’ The smile fell off his face as you looked at him with arched eyebrows and the neediest, most delicious lustful look on your eyes.

‘What?’ He said with a dumb smile.

‘I like how they look on you.’ You pleaded softly as your hands climbed up his chest. ‘Put them on.’

‘No.’ He laughed softly as he dived his head on your neck, he could fell the goosebumps on your arms when he rubbed the skin there. ‘They’ll get in the way.’

‘Put them on!’ You protested before he choked your scream with his mouth.

‘Shhhh!’ He was supposed to be mad, but you were laughing under his hand, and it was contagious. ‘Needy, what the fuck.’

‘Put them on.’ You whispered before you pouted at him.

‘But I hate them.’ He murmured as he cupped your cheeks, then he had a look at your lips, at your chest. He couldn’t believe this was finally happening. ‘This is not how I want to remember it.’

You tilted your head as you looked back at him, the amused stare from before turning softer as you pondered about his words.

‘How do you want to remember it?’

He shrugged before he placed a soft kiss on your shoulder, unable to resist the temptation of rubbing his cheek against it right after.

‘Nice. Hot. Sweet.’ He whispered before he squeezed your side. ‘At the very least like a night where I made the lucky girl feel good.’

‘Lucky?’

‘Can you cut me some slack, Needy? I’m a little nervous here.’

Your laugh was softer this time. He stayed still as you extended your arm to unzip one of the pockets of your bag. Steve could feel the beating of his heart hard against his chest as the silence was filled with the plastic sound of the square-shaped packets you took out of it.

‘There’s no need to be nervous.’ You murmured before he felt your mouth kiss his nose. ‘We’re doing this together.’

He nodded softly, then he took a few seconds to himself before his hand took the condom from your hand.

In silent curiosity you and Steve observed each other’s movements inside the little tent. There was chatter and a bit of music in the distance, but here the air in between you two was filled with tense expectation. He let you pull down your underwear on your own time while he secured the condom, your anxious eyes more focused that the thing was properly placed rather than worrying over his size or shape.

‘Ready?’ He whispered nervously when you two went back to the previous position of you underneath and him on top.

‘Yeah.’ You replied in the same breathless tone.

In dreams or fantasies, you both had imagined it differently, not so quiet and not so awkward and not so rigid. In the tense seconds that followed, you and Steve discovered the importance of a communication that went beyond words and required the outmost attention from each other. You helped him to find the right hole by guiding him gently, and for that you had to make the bold move of actually holding his dick with your hand. Then he had to learn to put his thoughts aside as he pushed himself softly, consciously reading the reactions of your face and body to cause you the minimal discomfort possible.

‘Does it hurt?’ He asked sadly when he saw you flinch. He could feel his dick getting softer at the prospect of hurting you and yet he wanted to be as ready for you as you were for him.

‘No.’ you said softly when you saw him swallow hard. ‘No, sorry it’s just a bit… weird. Maybe it’s the angle, let me just—’

As soon as you arched your back and lifted your knees on either side of you, he was able to feel the difference instantly, now you were giving him more room for him to apply some gentle pressure. He could feel the insides of your pussy, something quite fleshy that stretched the more he pushed, he just wasn’t sure.

‘Am I doing this right?’ He whispered to himself.

‘Yes.’ You said softly as you searched for his face. ‘I think so.’

‘You think so?’ He asked with amused insecurity as he leaned back.

‘Why don’t we—’ You took a deep breath as he tried to push himself once again. ‘Why don’t we just kiss? While you do that?’

‘Okay.’ He said softly, his hair brushed your forehead when he nodded, before he leaned in. Something about it felt sexy, filling his lower stomach with a sickly-sweet feeling that extended over his body when his mouth clashed against yours.

He felt you sigh under his mouth; he felt you repressing your moan as your socked feet crossed behind his lower back. It was soft, cute, needy. You seemed so receptive under him that he ventured to push himself a bit deeper, and it was as if the walls of your pussy were opening just for him, giving him a glimpse of that smooth, soaked place full of warmth that he couldn’t wait to fuck fully.

You let out a choked breath when he finally did, and he kissed you harder, growling against your mouth as he stayed buried deeply inside you before he got the nerve to start moving again. Your walls squeezed him, your tongue spoiled him, he wasn’t going to last long but he wished that it’d lasted forever.

He felt your pretty hand searching for something in between your bodies, and he had to break the kiss to look back at you. His eyes looked down at the obscene picture of his dick getting lost inside you, of your fingers drawing circles over your clit. He almost choked on his breath when he felt the unannounced orgasm approaching while you breathed hard against his ear. He was sweating on top of you, loving it all and hating that it was ending already.

‘Steve.’ You moaned softly as your knees shook next to his hips. His hand was squeezing the side of your waist a bit too tough, but he was trying so hard not to—

‘Shit.’ He said under his breath, placing his forehead on your temple as he could feel his release feeling the condom. ‘Shit, Needy. What the fuck, babe.’

February 1986.

‘I can’t believe you’ve driven all the way home for this.’ Your sister said as she tightened the silky corset of your dress. You stood still as she tied the ribbons over your skirt.

‘Well, I got an invitation, so…’ You said as you turned back to face her. ‘How do I look?’

‘Like you’re insane.’ She said crossing her arms over her chest. ‘I can’t believe you’re about to crash this wedding.’

‘You can’t crash a wedding you’re invited to.’ You said rolling your eyes.

Your sister let out a sigh of frustration as you walked towards the closest mirror to fix your hair. You didn’t exactly look bridesmaid hot, but you looked decent enough to be considered an attractive last-minute guest.

‘I’m pretty sure they just invited me as a seat filler.’ You said as you grabbed your mother’s earrings from the little dish over her vanity. ‘You simply don’t send an invite three days before the main event unless someone else has cancelled.’

‘Wrong.’ Your sister said while you put the jewellery on. ‘You simply don’t send a wedding invite to someone you haven’t spoken to in three years.’

‘I mean we went to school together, and Steve and I were pretty close at some point.’ You shrugged. ‘I think it’s sweet they thought about me.’

The scoff you sister let out made you lift your eyes at her, she was shaking her head as she looked through the window of your parents’ bedroom with her arms still crossed.

‘Aren’t you nervous?’ She turned back to look at you. ‘I mean, you must be a little nervous. You should have a shot of tequila before leaving.’

You let out a snorty laugh as you frowned at her.

‘Don’t be silly, why should I be nervous?’ You said walking towards the bed where your suitcase rested open. You took your coat out of it as you shook your head with a smile on your face. ‘It’s been years now; I don’t think Steve even remembers.’

‘You don’t think he remembers?’ This time she was the one who laughed, and her semblance finally managed to make you feel a bit nervous. ‘You think a shy guy like Steve would not remember that he lost his virginity to the school’s hottest girl?’

‘I wasn’t the hottest.’ You said putting your coat around you, your eyes focusing on the buttons on the front so you wouldn’t look back at her. ‘I was… something worse than that.’

‘Oh, please!’ She rolled her eyes. ‘So, you fucked a few guys during High School, and they gave you a nickname, big deal. My point still stands.’

‘So does mine.’ You said taking a silver purse out of the suitcase. All this interrogation was making your body temperature raise as you put the few belongings you’d need tonight inside the purse. ‘Steve’s… different. People like him don’t change. He was obsessed with Nancy Wheeler and now he’s marrying her. And you think he’s gonna give a shit about fucking The Needy once?’

Your sister shook her head once again before she looked back at you.

‘I’ve got a bad feeling about this.’ She finally said.

You put the silver chain of the purse over your shoulder before you stood in front of her.

‘You’re full of shit.’ You finally said with an amused semblance. ‘Are you still driving me?’

‘Of course, I am.’ She scoffed. ‘I need to know how this whole thing unfolds.’

Your sister’s words echoed through your mind as you watched the streets of Hawkins from the passenger seat. Aside from the mandatory holiday visits to your family two or three times a year, you barely came back home unless it was absolutely necessary. The town that had once been almost asphyxiating compared to the city where you went to college, was now looking like a juvenile and almost insignificant place in your eyes. Time had healed everything. Or most things, at least.

During these last three years, college had been kinder to you than it had been to most people. There you didn’t have to deal with the whispers of judgmental teenagers in the hallways, you didn’t have to look behind your shoulder when someone shouted some sort of obscene insult at you and everyone around pretended they didn’t hear it. But they knew you did, because you cared. You were so young it was impossible not to care this much about the boys who made promises just to fuck you and then spread the details all around the school. Or to care about the girlfriends you lost when their mothers labelled you as a bad influence, where are her parents? they said, but you didn’t want to tell them. You cared too much to make them feel embarrassed. You cared too much not to be deeply, impossibly hurt when your best friend started dating the girl of his dreams and he slowly faded away, Needy I have a girlfriend now, Steve said, I’m sorry I can’t hang out as much as we used to, Needy. I’m sorry, Needy. Needy, Needy, Needy.

‘We’re here.’ Your sister said when she stopped right outside the church. She was almost jumping ecstatically on the driver seat as her eyes were fixed on your face. ‘Good luck.’

You slowly unclasped the seatbelt, taking a deep breath as you shook your head at her delusional imagination.

‘Thanks.’ You said under your breath as you opened the door.

‘I’m gonna find somewhere to park.’ She said once you stepped out.

‘You don’t need to stay.’ You replied, standing next to the door.

‘Oh, I think I do.’ Her tone was condescending, but there was a glimpse of amusement under it that only years of sisterhood allowed you to detect. ‘I’ll stay around here somewhere.’

You rolled your eyes as you shut the door, turning around to face the lonely church. The foggy atmosphere so common in February made you wonder why Nancy and Steve would choose such a date to celebrate a wedding, the question rang a distant bell on your head.

It was Valentine’s Day, wasn’t it? It made sense, as far as romance could go you guessed it was a popular date to get married. Maybe they had gotten engaged one day like this, a year or two ago. You’d find out later, maybe through the whispers of a teary bridesmaid or through the best man’s speech.

The idea itself seemed absurd for a second. You stopped on your tracks right in front of the church’s doors, What exactly were you doing here? You didn’t know this people. You hadn’t spoken to Steve since graduation, and Nancy had at most shared a few civilized words with you here and there when they started dating right after she dumped Jonathan Byers. You had no right to be here.

‘Oh my god.’ Someone next to you whispered before you realised you were pulled aside. ‘You made it.’

‘Nancy?’ You asked mortified as you looked at the dark circles under her pale eyes. The anxiety rushed to your chest when your eyes fell on her clothes: a long, old, knitted thing covered her waist while she wore leggings and slippers. ‘W-Wha—’

‘I didn’t think you’d come.’ She murmured, her eyes turning glossy as they looked back at you. Your first instinct was to place your hands on her shoulders, wondering if maybe you should offer her your coat. She looked sick, she looked miserable.

‘Nancy, what’s going on?’ You asked softly as she started crying. ‘W-Where’s everyone?’

Nancy looked at something behind your shoulder before she pulled you into a partly open door where you assumed she had been before. Your eyes lingered around the room once you were inside, hearing the door close behind you as you looked at what seemed to be the kind of scene a bride would encounter before her wedding ceremony: a little vanity where products of makeup and skincare were scattered, a few suitcases, a gorgeous white tulle dress hanging on a rack.

‘Do you need help?’ You asked cluelessly as you searched for other people in the room, but it was just the two of you. ‘Where are your bridesmaids? Where’s your mom?’

‘The wedding…’ She tried to say, but she seemed to be about to hyperventilate next to the door and you didn’t have the heart to be impatient, so all you did was guide her to the seat next to the vanity.

Nancy took a few seconds to compose herself as you clenched next to her. She brushed her hair with her hands, it was dirty, rests of mascara had stained the skin under her waterline. She was a mess.

‘Needy, I— I sent you an invitation,’ She finally looked back at you, her eyes still glossy and red. ‘And I changed the time, so you could be here early, so I could talk to you.’

You nodded softly as you looked back at her, patiently waiting for her explanation.

‘I can’t do this.’ She finally said as she stared at your confused face. ‘I can’t marry Steve. And I can’t tell him. I can’t.’

‘Nancy.’ You stood up immediately, feeling your heart beating hard against your chest as you processed her words.

‘I’m so sorry.’ She said in between tears. ‘I know I’m an asshole; I know I’m a coward. I know I’m dropping all this on you…’

‘You better have a good fucking reason to.’ You said then. ‘What the fuck do I have to do in all this?’

‘I need you to tell him.’ She finally said, sniffing softly as she cleaned her teary face. ‘I know I don’t know you very well, I know that you two haven’t been in contact for years, but he’s fond of you and I can’t bring myself to face this shit right now.’ She swallowed hard as she stood up in front of you. ‘I’m sorry I brought you into this, but last week I was drunk and desperate and trying to come up with a good way to do this, and I thought about you, and I need you to do this.’

‘You’re insane.’ You said after a few seconds. ‘Oh my god, you’re… you’re horrible.’

‘I know.’ She said between her teeth as she shut her eyes. ‘I know, goddammit. I know I don’t deserve it but think about him.’

‘Think about him?’ You took a step back as you looked at her. ‘He hasn’t talked to me in three years. And you’re just a selfish— I don’t even wanna say it.’

‘Oh, please, don’t restrain yourself from calling me a bitch.’ She scoffed as her eyes filled with tears again while she looked away. ‘M pretty sure the whole fucking town will once they find out.’

You clenched your jaw at her words, at the way they had reopened a wound inside you that had seemed healed and infantile earlier in the car, but now that you were here it didn’t feel like that at all.

‘When’s that everyone’s supposed to be here anyways?’ You said after a few seconds.

Nancy licked her lips as she looked back at you, a spark of hope taking over her eyes for an instant before she crossed her arms over her chest.

‘Well, Steve should be here in half an hour.’ She said with a hoarse voice as she looked away visibly embarrassed. ‘The wedding was supposed to start at one-thirty.’

‘Right.’ You swallowed hard as you squeezed your fists on either side of you. Maybe your sister was right, and you should’ve had a shot or two before coming here. ‘Okay, how are you leaving?’

‘I-I can call a taxi.’ She said enthusiastically as she realised you were going to follow her crazy plan. It felt unreal for her, for you. ‘I’ll get a room on a hotel not too far from town. I can’t even—I won’t be able to face my family after this.’

‘Don’t be dramatic.’ You rolled your eyes. She wasn’t going to be half as humiliated as Steve, and you were already trying to rehearse what you were going to say to him inside your head. ‘You’re not the first woman to run away from a wedding, and you won’t be the last. Get your shit together.’

Nancy swallowed hard before nodding; it took her a few seconds to realise that you were doing this but that you would never forgive her for it. Maybe no one would. You heard her call the taxi while you put the makeup bag back inside one of the suitcases just to distract yourself with something. If your sister was still parking outside, and you knew she probably was, maybe you could manage to hide the dress before Steve’s arrival. He mustn’t see it, not like this. Not after what Nancy was going to do.

‘I don’t think I’ll ever be able to thank you enough for this.’ She said in a hoarse voice as she stood awkwardly in front of you.

‘I agree.’ You said as you placed your hands on your hips, looking at her while you bit the inside of your cheek. ‘I always knew he didn’t deserve you.’

‘Well,’ She said softly, blinking away her tears. ‘If it makes you feel better, so did I.’

‘It doesn’t.’ You said after a while as you crossed your arms over your chest. You didn’t want her to see you cry, but it all felt so bitter, like a million stitches coming undone. ‘Please go.’

‘Okay.’ She whispered. You knew she wanted to say more, much more. Maybe one day she’ll write you a letter to tell you everything and then you’d might be able to understand. Maybe.

You took a few minutes to compose yourself after her steps echoed outside, down the front steps of the church, along with the sound of the suitcase’s wheels. For what felt like forever, you studied the antique tiles of the little room’s floor as you heard the taxi stop, as you heard the door shut, as you heard the engine in the distance.

Then you turned around to grab the dress. Your eyes lingered on the white tulle, thinking about the time it must’ve taken to sow every bead, every sequin. All that time Nancy had to say something, to reject him kindly. Yet here it was, this orphaned garment with no one to dress, destined to go to waste.

The sound of a car outside brought you back into reality, you decided to hide the dress inside the trunk placed on the very end of the room. The moths would feast on it, and it would never make it to the charity shop, but that was better than letting anyone else see it. Some things were supposed to die from the beginning.

You held your breath as you walked out, searching for him or anyone else, but there was no sign of Steve until you heard someone else’s steps inside the church.

‘Goddammit.’ You whispered to yourself as you silently cursed the moment you thought coming to this hopeless wedding was a good idea.

Inside, the church looked much smaller than you remembered it, but you couldn’t really give it too much thought as your eyes fell on the single figure standing in the middle of the isle. Steve was focused on something on the floor, maybe he was just looking at his sneakers as he stood there wearing some stupid hoodie and jeans. He was wearing his glasses; he had replaced the old frames with a more round and modern shape. He looked so young, so unaware, so familiar. The sight tendered you so much you it brought tears to your eyes, and he hadn’t even seen you yet.

But the sound of your heels echoed through the church when you took the first step, his brown eyes lifted to look back at you, at first confused and then softened by the sweetest realisation.

‘Needy?’ He said softly.

You sobbed a little bit as you ran to his arms through the isle, hurting for him before he could even hurt. Your arms wrapped around his neck, you were stroking his hair, breathing his scent in. You had missed him so much.

His arms hovered over your back before they embraced you tightly, you were crying fully now and his smile was brushing your ear, completely unaware of what was about to happen. You shut your eyes hard when you felt him kiss your cheek, when you heard his tender whisper.

‘I’m so happy to see you.’

You took a deep breath in his arms, hugging him tighter as you wished this moment could last forever, and you both could just stay like this. You holding on to the secret, and him amazed by your return. Nothing else.

‘What are you doing here?’ He finally asked as he leaned back, the brown of his eyes turning serious when he realised you were crying.

‘Oh, Steve.’ You said in a sobby whisper as you tried to find your composure, but he seemed worried, cupping your cheek with his hand. ‘I’m so sorry.’

February 1989.

‘Happy Valentine’s Day!’ Said the young girl behind the counter as she offered Steve the tray with the two coffee cups.

‘Hmm.’ He attempted to give her a smile as he avoided her eyes. ‘You too.’

Steve left the café repressing the sigh caught inside his chest as he searched for the path towards the park. People around walked with bouquets of roses and heart-shaped balloons; he had seen at least two muscular teenagers dressed as cupid handing out flyers with vouchers for some sort of corporation. The world was covered in pink and red, and no matter how hard he tried, the bitter memory of his almost-wedding day still throbbed painfully in the back of his mind.

It still stung, but not everything was lost. Steve was older and wiser now, or as wise as one can be during their mid-twenties. He had things to look forward to, he was about to buy his first apartment, and he had contemplated the idea of getting a dog for the last few weeks. A dalmatian or a golden retriever, maybe. An active, absolutely thoughtless ball of love that would force him to go out for walks every day, something he could take care of. Something that would love him back.

When he found your bench from the other side of the park he stood still as he observed the way you kindly rejected another cupid boy who offered you a flyer. You had been engrossed in a book and now you were looking at cupid almost disgusted, fighting the need to roll your eyes as you resumed your reading.

Every year, for the sake of Steve’s sanity, you pretended to hate Valentine’s Day. Your little tradition had started bitterly of course, the year after the wedding incident when you drove to his parents’ place while he spent the whole morning sleeping through a killing hangover. When he woke up you had decorated the whole place with Halloween garlands, you had put candy corn in a bowl and turned the VHS on to watch horror movies.

You didn’t care that he hadn’t showered or that he didn’t say a word to you as you went through all the tapes he had at home. When he got ready to go to work the next morning, he realised you had washed his dirty dishes, you had put the washing machine on, and you had taken the trash bags he kept telling himself he had to dispose soon before his parents came back from vacation.

After the first year passed, things started to hurt less. The realisation that he had let himself rot into a state of helplessness opened his eyes, he just couldn’t put all his pain on the shoulders of people who wanted to help. People who meant well. You certainly didn’t deserve to see him drinking himself to sleep or wearing the same pyjama for five days straight, he told you so on the phone, he said he was sorry about a million times.

‘Don’t worry, Steve.’ You’d said in a sleepy voice, three or four towns away from him as you laid in bed late at night. ‘I’m here. I’ll hang up once you’re asleep.’

But you always fell asleep first. It was cute, to imagine your partly open mouth, your lashes, your pupils moving behind your closed eyelids. Then you’d call him a few weeks later asking why was your telephone bill so expensive, but he couldn’t tell you that it was because sometimes he fell asleep hearing you breathe on the other side. He couldn’t tell you it soothed him, that it helped him. It would’ve made things weird, it would’ve made things between you and Kyle weird. Steve didn’t even dare to ask how you had gotten rid of your Valentine Day’s plans with your boyfriend to be here with him, and he didn’t want to know.

Now he walked on your direction as a warm feeling took over his body, eyes lingering on the way you fixed your scarf, looking around at the lovey-dovey couples that exchanged cards on the sidewalk.

‘People are going crazy.’ The playful tone of disbelief on your voice managed to lift his lips subtly as he offered you one of the cups. ‘All this kissing and touching on Christmas Day. So disrespectful.’

‘Actually, Needy, it’s St. Patrick’s Day today.’ He sat down next to you, ‘And guess what?’

You gasped innocently, taking a hand to your chest as you looked back at him.

‘What?’

He looked around quickly before he leaned towards you, as if he was going to tell you a secret.

‘Tomorrow’s Thanksgiving.’ He whispered.

‘I thought it was fourth of July.’ You said worriedly, placing a hand on his knee as you looked around you at all the oblivious people in the park.

‘Nope.’ He shook his head with a smile. ‘That’s this afternoon, actually.’

‘Damn.’ You shook your head to yourself as you lifted the coffee cup to your lips. ‘Before we know it’s gonna be New Year’s.’

‘And then we’re thirty.’ Steve finally said as he shook his head. His arm was extended over the bench behind you as you laughed softly, taking another sip of your drink as he laughed to himself too. He had completely forgotten why this little game had started on the first place, and he couldn’t help but smile to himself as he realised you had made him feel so much better in such a simple way.

‘What time do we need to be at the building?’ You asked then as you looked back at him. He was smiling at you, brown eyes lifting softly behind his glasses as he subtly stroked your shoulder over your coat. ‘Steve?’

‘Yeah?’ He leaned back when he realised he had been staring.

‘What time do we need to be there?’ You repeated patiently, completely ignoring his momentary distraction as you searched for his eyes.

‘Uhm,’ He could feel the heat rushing to his neck as he checked his watch. ‘Around six?’

‘Oh, cool.’ You took another sip of your coffee. ‘We can just relax for a while then.’

‘Yeah.’ He said sitting more comfortably next to you.

‘Nervous?’ You asked then. He could see you were smiling from the corner of his eye, then you pushed his shoulder with yours the same way you used to when you were just children.

He shrugged.

‘Not really.’ He said as he looked back at you. ‘I’m with you.’

You laughed softly as you looked down at your coffee, not really saying anything as your eyes got lost on something beyond the sight of the park. Steve enjoyed the way you seemed to be partly flushed; he couldn’t tell exactly, but he did like it when sometimes he dropped some harmless compliments here and there for you and you didn’t acknowledge them. He liked it when you ignored him, when you got him begging for your attention, because he knew you. You were still needy, his Needy, and he knew you loved it, that you enjoyed it. That it was just the adult politeness that kept you from asking for more. But he’d always give it to you. Always.

‘Thanks for doing this for me, by the way.’ He said later that evening as you two stood inside his new apartment. You were standing in the middle of the spacious living room, looking around at all the empty space while he opened a bottle of wine in the kitchen.

‘Don’t be silly, I’ve been dying to help you decorate since you told me you were serious about buying a place.’

You looked back at him with a smile as you observed him pour the wine in the improvised plastic cups you had gotten from the shop minutes ago. It seemed that you hesitated for a second before you started to take your coat off, then you sat down on the floor in front of the balcony, Steve had opened its doors partly earlier and the city noises sneaked inside as he walked back towards you.

‘There we go.’ He said as he sat next to you.

You took the cup he was offering before lifting it on the air in front of you.

‘To you, for being a certified house owner.’

‘And to you, for being here.’ He said before clashing his plastic cup to yours. ‘Thank you.’

You smiled softly before taking the cup to your mouth, savouring the sweetly bitter taste of the wine on your mouth before swallowing. Steve’s eyes lingered on your face as you looked down at the wooden floor underneath you, the sun had set, and the living room was barely illuminated by the distant light of the kitchen. It was so intimate and special, he thought, you being here with him.

‘You know, you do have a tendency there to be there on my firsts.’

‘What do you mean?’ You asked as you took another sip of your cup.

‘You know…’ He said as if it was obvious. ‘First kiss, first time, first wedding. And now first apartment.’

‘Shit.’ You said looking around. ‘See, somehow you just made that sound kind of depressing.’ He threw his head back as he laughed. ‘Also, you didn’t exactly get married, Steve.’

‘Well, I’m not repeating that embarrassing moment any time soon.’ He scoffed. ‘I think it’s fair to call it a first wedding.’

‘What about a first attempt, huh?’ You asked then. ‘Think about it, you know the basics of wedding planning now. Next time it happens, you’ll be able to plan in three days what normal people plan in six months.’

He let out a sigh of resignation as he looked at you with an arched brow, and you couldn’t help but laugh as you squeezed his bicep.

‘C’mon, I’m just joking.’ You said innocently as you pushed his shoulder with yours again. ‘I’m so happy you decided to move out of Hawkins. It’s been so nice to have you around.’

Steve hummed to himself before putting his drink away.

‘I’m glad I left too.’ He said sincerely with a smile. ‘Life’s just easier when you’re around.’

You smiled to yourself as your eyes got lost in the lights from the building opposite, the silhouettes inside the windows were too small for you to tell what they were doing, having dinner, watching tv, sleeping. It didn’t matter, it all looked the same from here.

‘Yeah.’ You said softly. ‘Sometimes I can’t believe we spent so much time apart from each other. Feels weird.’

‘It does.’ He said under a laugh. When you looked back at him, he couldn’t help but brush his hair with his fingers, feeling the heat rushing to his face as he looked down to his new, very interesting wooden floor.

A few minutes of silence passed between you two as the sounds of an ambulance eclipsed the chirping of a few insomniac birds.

‘What do you—’

‘Do you ever—’

You both burst out laughing before you looked away, his eyes lingered on your face as he realised you were suddenly turning shy. He licked his lips as he amused himself with the tender view of you being a bit flustered.

‘What were you going to say?’ You finally asked when you could face him again.

‘Uh…’ He shook his head softly as he studied your face. ‘I was just gonna ask what you thought about lenses. What were you going to say?’

‘You mean contact lenses?’ You moved back just slightly, frowning at him. ‘No, I like your glasses. They’re you, they’re Steve. Please don’t get rid of them.’

‘Okay.’ He shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal. ‘I wasn’t planning to yet, I just wanted an opinion first.’

‘Well, my opinion’s that you should keep them. I like them.’ You said a bit too defensively. He was almost about to laugh at your sudden change of mood. ‘Can I use your bathroom?’

‘Sure.’ He moved back slightly as he tried to understand why you were acting so weird, that concerning frown still taking over your face as you stood up. ‘I think I left some toilet paper inside when we came back from the shop.’

‘Thanks.’ You murmured as you get lost in the hallway that led to the guests’ toilet.

Steve stayed still as you used the bathroom, sitting on the spacious living room as he wondered if he had done or said something wrong earlier, but he couldn’t think of anything. Maybe your mood didn’t have to do with him at all, maybe it was something to do with work or Kyle. Maybe you actually had plans tonight and you were trying to find a way to tell him, the thought filled him with embarrassment, he didn’t want to take too much of your time.

He was doing okay, more than okay, he hoped you’d know that. He hoped you’d knew he didn’t think about Nancy these days, but that this awkward persona that didn’t seem to be able to navigate relationships still lived within him. Maybe that’s why he still didn’t dare to date properly, why he only enjoyed the company of a pretty girl every now and then when he felt more stable, more available. Still, he never seemed to fit into the dating world, as if he was destined to live a life where nobody chose him. At this point he wondered if he even cared at all about being chosen.

You were silent when you turned the toilet’s lights off behind him, coming back to the quiet, dark living room where he sat.

‘Do you need to be home early?’ He asked softly as you sat next to him.

You shook your head. When he looked up at your face there didn’t seem to be a trace of the frown from before, but you did seem thoughtful, different.

‘Are you cold?’ Steve said when his eyes fell on your shaky hands, he was about to stand up to close the balcony’s door when your hand grabbed his bicep.

‘I’m fine.’ You said with a soft smile. ‘The water was just cold when I washed my hands.’

‘Oh, right.’ His hand instinctively wrapped around yours over his arm, rubbing it softly with his palm to try warm you up. ‘M sorry.’

‘S alright.’ You smiled as your hand squeezed his arm. You were moving closer to him and he let out a breath of relief as you did. Steve hadn’t realised he was worried until then, that he had been holding his breath the whole time you were in the toilet.

‘What’s wrong, Needy?’ He asked softly as he looked down at you, he brushed his thumb over your hand when you looked down, hiding from him. His eyes studied you patiently as he lifted his hand to put a strand of hair behind your ear, brushing your cheekbone as he waited for you.

You shook your head softly, softening under his touch. Something warm twisted inside him when you blinked slowly before looking up again.

‘Do you ever think about our first time?’ You murmured. ‘Back in High School?’

He felt the heat rush to his face as he leaned his head subtly, a dizzy smile lifting his lips a little as he pondered about what to say. He shrugged.

‘Sometimes.’ Steve whispered. ‘Do you?’

You looked away then, the anxiety rushing to his chest as you looked visibly uncomfortable, and yet he couldn’t stop stroking your pretty face as you scratched the back of your neck.

‘I guess?’ You said unsure. ‘Sometimes. Senior year was a weird time for me.’

‘I know.’ He simply said as his hand fell from your face, remembering all the stupid things he worried about back when he was eighteen. Nancy, School, College. He should’ve worried more about you instead. ‘But I, uh… I hope that night wasn’t so bad for you. I remember it very fondly.’

‘Oh. So do I. You were so gentle,’ You laughed nervously as you sat better to look back at him. ‘It was perfect.’

Perfect. The word sounded as sweet and soothing as honey when you said it, he couldn’t help but smile shyly at it. In a very boyish way, Steve was still proud that you had been his first, and that you had been his. He treasured the fact that you had chosen him not only once but twice in your life to explore the mysteries of childhood love, because he knew that’s what it had always been.

‘Why are you bringing this up?’ He asked sweetly, wishing he could just stroke your pretty face again. Instead, he just settled for brushing your neck with the back of his knuckles while his thumb subtly touched the line of your jaw as you took a deep breath.

‘I don’t know.’ You swallowed softly as your eyes fell back on the lights outside, ‘I’ve been thinking lately. About innocence and gentleness… I don’t understand why it all lasts so little.’

‘Well, you’re still young, Needy.’ He laughed softly. ‘Pretty sure there’s plenty you can still experience out there.’

‘Yeah, but not like that.’ You said sadly before you looked back at him. ‘Sex’s just… hard to understand sometimes.’

Steve frowned softly as he leaned back, lips opening partly as he tried to search for your eyes.

‘Are things okay between you and Kyle?’

His serious stare made you shrunk a little. You clenched your jaw, you blinked repeatedly as you looked away, but he was still able to see the tears pooling on your waterline. Steve’s hand moved from your neck to the base of your head, diving his fingers in your hair as you refused to look back at him.

‘Kind of like there’s nothing between us anymore.’ You whispered.

‘What happened?’ He asked after a while in the same tone.

‘We’re not…’ You cleared your throat as you frowned uncomfortably. ‘We’re not sexually compatible.’

‘That’s not a valid reason to end a relationship.’ He said seriously.

‘Well, it is for us.’ You said under a bitter laugh. ‘It got… complicated, and difficult, and so painful—’

‘Wait.’ His other hand lifted to finally cup your cheek fully. Worry was now overflowing his eyes as he studied your face. ‘Did he hurt you?’

‘No…’ You murmured as you tried to look down, but he was holding your face firmly. He was now seriously concerned, and you were trying to play down the whole situation like you always did. ‘Not like that, Steve. I meant— What I meant was that it was painful for me to stay and feel that I was never able to…’ You shook your head. ‘I don’t know. He had a higher libido than me, and I wasn’t really into some things, and… I guess it just got too complicated.’

Steve’s stare still stayed on you as you bit your lip. He didn’t know what to do, feeling concerned, disturbed and so sorry for you as you released a sigh, looking visibly embarrassed. He started rubbing your back softly when you finally looked back at him, offering you a sad smile in response.

‘I don’t know what to say.’ He murmured softly. ‘I’m sorry.’

You shrugged subtly in response.

‘S fine, I— I’ve been thinking about maybe getting help, but I’m trying to give myself some time first.’

‘Help?’ He frowned seriously as he looked at you carefully. ‘Help with what?’

You shrugged. ‘With whatever’s… wrong.’

Steve stayed quiet for a second, considering your words before he shook his head.

‘No.’ He scoffed, an almost awkward laugh that filled him with bitterness. ‘Nothing’s wrong with you.’

‘Steve—’

‘Nothing is wrong with you.’ He said the word as if just the implication was an offense. For him, it was. ‘You’re Needy. You’re sweet, you’re funny, you’re smart… There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you.’

‘It’s not like I don’t believe those things.’ You said patiently as you shrunk under his touch. Your voice was so small and tender when you spoke again, he could feel himself melt inside. He had never seen you be this insecure. ‘I just don’t understand why sexual chemistry is such a difficult thing for me. I-I just don’t get it.’

He had to lean back a little to have a better look at you, torn between shock and frustration as you took a deep breath.

‘Needy, you can’t just force these things. Sometimes it just doesn’t work, sometimes…’ He took a deep breath as he brushed his hair with his fingers. ‘And why do you assume that this is just a you problem? Maybe Kyle’s not treating you right, maybe he’s not taking the time to make you feel nice, and comfortable, and—’

‘Well, no.’ You said in a sobby whisper as you looked away. ‘I know it is a me thing, Steve. It’s not the first time I struggle with sex, with this. Every single time I date someone it’s the samething: at the beginning I feel fun and wanted, and then time passes and it’s like I become this, sexless boring thing—’ 

‘Needy, don’t say that.’ He shook his head in disapproval as he looked back at you.

You swallowed hard, sniffing softly as you tried to compose yourself. It was killing him inside, seeing you so unconsolable and small.

‘But it’s true.’

‘No, it’s not true.’ He said softly as the hand that rubbed your back pulled you in from your shoulder. The physical contact that you were so needy of only seemed to make you more emotional, it was breaking him to see you take your hands to your face in frustration, rubbing your eyes as he pressed a kiss on your scalp. ‘Now listen to me, I had sex with you once, and yes it was years ago, but you were sexy and beautiful and just perfect, Needy. Nothing’s wrong with you.’

‘You only say that because you’re my best friend.’ You murmured as you melted against his body, hiding your head under his neck like in the old days, letting him embrace you and kiss your scalp a couple of times more.

‘I say it because I love you.’ He started rubbing your back again, but this time it felt a bit more deliberate, a bit slower, a bit needier.

He did love you, while you rested your cheek against his chest, while you breathed softly under his touch, while you sniffed quietly. He loved you that day at church, and inside the tent and back in his boy room when you were both in middle school. He always had, and as he felt your sad smile against his skin, he felt certain that he would always love you. 

‘I love you too.’ You said softly as you tried to get impossibly closer to him. His skin turned warmer under his shirt as he held you more comfortably, feeling your breath turn slower as you shared a sweet silence that was killing him inside.

He couldn’t help but place his cheek on your head, then he squeezed you a bit harder for a second until you laughed softly, it made him smile in response as you sat better to look back at him.

It caught him out of guard when you lifted your hand to touch his face. His heart skipped a beat inevitably as he looked back at you, softened by the shy smile that lifted your pretty mouth. He was so used to the habit of giving you physical contact every time you needed it that it was in the odd moments, while you gave him the littlest glimpse of attention, that he realised how touch-starved he really was.

‘Don’t get rid of your glasses.’ You asked softly as you stroked his cheek. The little pout on your face was making him roll his eyes as the blood rushed to his cheeks. ‘Please?’

‘Okay, Needy.’ He laughed softly. Leaning into your gentle touch, he placed his hand on top of yours and kissed your palm. ‘I’ll do whatever you say.’

You hummed pleasantly, and he loved the little smile of satisfaction that took over your face at his answer. Your hand fell from his face when he leaned back, and he took the spectacles off under your curious stare, moving closer to him when you realised what he intended to do.

‘There.’ he said as he slid the temples above your ears, softly pushing the glasses over your nose.

The sight of your slightly magnified eyes tendered him, he couldn’t help but laugh softly as you took your hands to the frames so they wouldn’t fall.

‘Wow.’ You looked around at the empty apartment, ‘Not only are you insanely blind Steve, but you got a big fat head too.’

‘Oh, thanks, Needy.’ He said sarcastically, enjoying the sight of you wearing his glasses, sitting in his living room. His eyes lingered on you for a second as you kept looking around you while his mind filled with foolish visions of you wearing one of his shirts, walking around with your bare feet, lighting it all up with your presence.

‘You know, maybe I should actually take a trip to the opticians soon,’ you said looking back at him. ‘I’m kind of seeing a bit clearer with these on.’

‘They suit you.’ He said fondly, amused at the way you seemed fascinated by the glasses.

You kept looking around you with the spectacles still on, and just for a second, he hoped that it took you less than a pair of glasses, along with the passing of sweet time, for you to start seeing what was right in front of you.

February 1992.

‘So, it’s a first date?’ Your sister asked on the phone as you applied the pale pink lipstick in front of the mirror.

‘Kind of.’ You said as you rubbed your lips against each other to spread the colour. ‘It’s like, a first date, a blind date and a double date.’

‘What.’ Your sister laughed on the phone, and you rolled your eyes as you placed the telephone between your shoulder and your cheek so you could place the cap on top of the lipstick. ‘How does that even work?’

‘Okay, so, Annie and I know each other from our yoga class, right?’ You said enthusiastically. ‘And a few weeks ago, Steve and I were at the park walking Ruby and we ran into her, and then on my next class she was… asking me questions and I kind of realised where she was coming from so, I thought that maybe I could set them up. So, I mentioned it to Steve, and I did say very nice things about Annie, but you know how he is…’ You sighed as you shook your head, turning off the light of your bathroom as you walked towards your living room. ‘So, he suggested he’d invite someone from work, and we could all go out together.’

‘That sounds like you’re all hanging out as friends.’

‘No!’ You said then. ‘I think I made it very clear for all the parties that it is a date. We’re going for drinks at the local bar and then we’re watching a movie.’

‘So, like ahangout.’

‘It’s Valentine’s Day!’

‘That doesn’t mean anything.’ She said then. ‘Besides, do you even know this guy he’s inviting? Aren’t you worried? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure you and Steve might not have the same taste in men.’

You shrugged then, feeling the heat rush to your cheeks as you tried to come up with words.

‘I-I mean, no. But I’m sure that if Steve suggested it is because he knows this guy and I might have something in common.’

‘Jesus Christ.’ She sighed on the phone. ‘You’re so oblivious. Do you even know the name of this guy?’

‘Yeah. Tim.’

‘Right. As if you didn’t just come up with that. Is his first name Tiny by any chance?’

‘Okay, shut up.’ You said, rolling your eyes. ‘I think Steve must’ve mentioned it, but I forgot.’

Your sister stayed silent on the line for a second as you brushed your hair with your fingers in front of the living room’s mirror before you turned around to grab your jacket.

‘Listen,’ She said. ‘Maybe you shouldn’t put yourself in this position.’

‘What do you mean?’ Something twisted in your stomach as your put the jacket around your shoulders.

‘You need to be an adult about this.’ She said. ‘Both of you. Have an honest conversation about the obvious tension in this friendship. I get that you want to protect what you two have, but there has to be a mutual agreement.’

‘I mean there’s kind of an agreement.’ You said softly, swallowing hard as you felt the anxiety rising on your chest. ‘Like, an implicit one.’

‘No.’ Her firm tone made you bite your lip and suddenly the back of your neck was sweating. ‘You need to communicate, and you need to place some boundaries here too. Setting him on a date with someone was weird, but it can have very damaging consequences for your friendship too, did you think about that?’

‘Oh, please.’ You said rolling your eyes again, but something heavy was piercing through you as you spoke, and you knew very well that if you didn’t believe your words then your sister wouldn’t either. ‘It’s just a date. Annie’s a nice girl, he deserves a nice girl.’

‘Have youasked him if he wanted to date your concept of a nice girl?’ She said then. ‘Tell me something, honey, have you ever thought about asking Steve what he wants?’

You swallowed hard as you blinked repeatedly, trying to find your words.

‘I don’t think— I…’

‘I think you know what he wants.’ She finally said. ‘And I know it’s not easy to accept, and I know it might be scary because you two can’t live without each other, but that’s my point. Instead of setting him up on dates, maybe you should have an honest conversation so he can move on.’

You released a deep breath slowly as you felt tears polling behind your eyelids. The words were stuck on your throat, they stung and burned inside, they went from reasonable to nonsensical, mixing with your nerves, with this sudden desperation that was tinting you blue.

‘Listen, I gotta go.’ You said softly. ‘I already said yes to this thing, and I have to be at the bar by seven.’

‘Okay.’ Your sister said after a sigh. ‘Good luck, kid.’

You tried to find the strength to thank her inside you, but you remembered vividly how things went the last time she said that.

Forty minutes later you were feeling like a coward as you tried not to hyperventilate outside the bar a few blocks from your building. The things your sister had said on the phone were messing with your mind, making you wonder if Steve hated you for overstepping in the situation with Annie. If you were a bad friend. If maybe there was a way you could cancel the whole thing—

‘Hey, Needy.’

You jumped at the sound of his voice, all the blood left your face as you looked back at him as if he had caught you doing something bad, but all Steve could do was smile at you.

‘H-Hey.’ You said then.

‘Are you okay?’ He took a step towards you, placing his hand on your lower back the same way he had done so many times before. ‘Should we go in?’

He was starting to lead you inside when you looked back at him.

‘Wait. Where’s your friend?’

‘He’s inside.’ He simply said as you both walked through the varnished doors of the bar.

You frowned softly, your mouth opened for a second when you were about to question him again, but then your eyes fell on the table where Annie sat, completely unaware of your stare. Next to her, older and as arrogant looking as usual, was Tommy Hagan.

‘Y-You—’

Steve didn’t say anything, instead he just nodded towards the table as he entwined his hand with yours. You were a bit dizzy and confused as he led you there while you blinked softly.

‘Hey, guys.’ Steve said. ‘Sorry we’re a bit late, thanks for joining us.’

Your mouth was still open in surprise as Steve moved your chair back, so you’d sit. Annie gave you a polite smile as you did, still she looked a little bit uncomfortable knowing that this wasn’t part of the plan at all. And you were so, so embarrassed.

You tried to return the gesture discreetly, a silent sorry taking over your eyes, but then you saw her look down as if she didn’t wish to look at you anymore. It took you a second to realise that Steve was lifting your hand and kissing your knuckles softly before he leaned closer to whisper something to you.

‘You didn’t really think I was going to let you get away with all this, did you?’

His breath stroked your jaw and anyone who wouldn’t know what was going on could’ve assumed that you were just one of the many couples drunk on the Valentine’s spirit, exchanging sweet nonsense over the table. But the reality was different. The nerves were making you sweaty underneath your dress, not only you were confused and so mortified by the whole situation with Annie, but the idea that Steve had outsmarted you in such a simple, easy way was messing with your head.

‘So, Tommy,’ you said as you sat straighter on your chair. ‘It’s been so long since the last time I saw you. I had no idea you and Steve worked together.’

‘Yeah,’ Tommy said then as he looked back at you with an awkward smile. He lifted his beer to his mouth as he took a small sip. You looked from Annie to him feeling a bit weird, not sure if maybe you had interrupted their conversation. She was looking at him attentively as he brushed his hair with his fingers. ‘It’s kind of a recent thing. I started at his office two weeks ago, actually.’

‘Oh.’ Annie said before laughing softly and looking from Steve to him. ‘Wait. Isn’t it a bit weird to be in a date with your boss?’

You looked around confused as your eyes fell on Tommy again, and he let out a snorty laugh as he looked back at her.

‘Well, we went to school together, the three of us.’ Tommy clarified. ‘Steve, Needy and me.’

‘Needy?’ Annie asked as she addressed you for the first time tonight.

‘Oh, it was just a stupid nickname.’ You explained quickly before you turned back to Steve. ‘You didn’t mention that Tommy was working for you.’

Steve shrugged then, looking at you with a small smile as he lifted your hand to kiss it again.

‘Sorry, baby.’ He said softly as his eyes didn’t leave yours. The word made your heart skip a beat as you looked at him expectantly. ‘It didn’t seem relevant.’

He was trying not to smile as he sat back again, and you stayed silent. In the distance you could hear Tommy ask Annie if she wanted another drink, then you heard them both stand up from their chairs to go to the bar, feeling your pulse turn faster as your eyes stayed on him.

‘You’re unbelievable.’ You said.

‘Me?’ Steve lifted his eyebrows as he extended his hand over the back of your chair. ‘I can’t believe you thought pairing me with Miss Aerobics was a good idea.’

‘I can’t believe you brought Tommy Hagan.’

‘This could’ve gone so much worse, Needy.’ He said as he sat closer to you. ‘You’re honestly dealing with the best possible scenario of how this night could’ve gone as we speak.’

‘She thinks she’s on a date with you.’

‘She knows she’s not on a date with me. I’m in a date with you. Because the other alternative would’ve been a mess.’ He said before taking a quick look at the bar. ‘Now, they’re gonna come back and you’re gonna pretend you have a killing headache, okay? There’s no way I’m going to sit through a two-hour movie with them.’

You sighed then, looking down at your hands as you bit your lip. The silence was killing you, but you knew you had screwed up big.

‘Okay.’ You said softly.

‘Cheer up, pretty girl.’ He pinched your chin softly and you looked up back at him. ‘I’m not mad at you for trying.’

Your lips lifted in a little smile as you felt every single inch of your skin turn warm at his touch. You wanted to apologise then, but Tommy and Annie were coming back with their drinks, and just the idea of having to resort to small talk made you feel exhausted already.

‘I’m not feeling really well.’ You murmured as you took a hand to the bridge of your nose. You had to shut your eyes a bit hard as you felt Steve’s hand starting to rub your knee, you were trying not to break character and burst out laughing nervously, but he was very gentle and maybe too good at this.

‘Oh, sweetheart, I’m sorry.’ He said softly as he kept rubbing your skin. The previous amusement died down as his tone melted you a little bit inside. ‘Should I call a cab?’

‘Uhm,’ You considered it briefly as you looked from him to the couple sitting on the other side of the table. ‘I don’t know, we just got here, I don’t want to seem rude. ‘M pretty sure it’s just a headache that’ll go away.’

‘I think it’d be better if I we go home, babe.’ The hand that rested over the back of the chair lifted to stroke your cheek. It felt so natural because it was natural. You ventured to look back at him and he seemed truly concerned for a second, brown eyes soft and eyebrows partly arched as he searched for the source of your discomfort. ‘It’s not safe to strain yourself in your state.’

‘Oh my god.’ Annie sat back as you felt the blood leave your face. ‘Are you pregnant?’

‘About eight weeks or so.’ Steve said with a satisfied smile. You had to lick your lips to repress the overwhelming emotions taking over your body then. Tommy lifted his eyebrows at the news, but he didn’t say anything, maybe he didn’t care, or he was just as shocked as you.

‘That makes so much sense, actually.’ Annie’s mood had drastically changed at Steve’s little lie as she looked at you with different eyes. Not only she seemed enthusiastic about the announcement, but there was something else in her semblance that made you confirm that this disastrous night was your fault and only your fault. ‘I mean you haven’t exactly been your usual self in class lately.’

‘What do you mean?’ It came out softly and small from your mouth, because you were still trying to process how you felt about Steve’s words, about his hand on your knee, about his concern. About him.

Annie shrugged.

‘Well, you were struggling a little bit with your balance last Friday, and I assumed that it was probably that you were distracted or sleep deprived, but then you also looked a bit different, so I thought oh well maybe she’s just bloated because of bad PMS or—’

‘Uh—’

‘I’m sorry,’ Steve interrupted you then. Knowing him so well, you felt yourself shrunk on the chair, flushed at the way he was placing his hand on the table in such a calculated manner as he looked back at Annie. ‘But I can’t remember at what point of this conversation she was asking for your opinion on her body.’

‘Well, she’s going to gain some—’

‘Listen, Annie,’ Steve said. ‘I don’t know you very well, and I don’t want to, either. But I’m just not going to let you sit here and make my girlfriend, my pregnant girlfriend feel uncomfortable just because you had no Valentine’s Day plans. Do you know the things I had planned for her this weekend, and I had to postpone it all just because she wanted to do something nice for you? We were gonna fly to Miami. Tommy here knows everything about it.’

Your eyes fell back on Tommy, and you were too stunned to speak as you saw him nodding at Annie’s cornered stare. You didn’t know how or when Steve had actually filled in Tommy with the details of tonight, you hadn’t even stopped to consider that maybe he had been as clueless as you from the beginning.

‘Uh.’ You said softly as you looked back at Steve, whose face was tainted with a certain cynicism for a second before his eyes fell back on you. You were suddenly washed by a wave of guilt again as you tried to look at him uncomfortably. ‘Can we leave?’

You could feel Annie’s awkward stare on you, and Tommy’s silence was killing you, but you were too focused on Steve to care. His eyelids looked heavy, behind his glasses, pupils a bit tired as he stared back at you with the tiniest, sweetest smile on his face.

‘Sure, babe.’ He squeezed your hand softly as he stood up. You bit your lip as he entwined them, following as he nodded at the couple on the other side. ‘Annie. Tommy, I’ll see you Monday.’

‘Sure, boss.’ He said with a polite smile before he looked at you. ‘Needy.’

‘Please don’t call me that.’ You said almost apologetically. ‘See you later, Tommy.’

You tried to come up with something to tell Annie, but things had gotten a bit too awkward between you two at this point. There was no way that this attempt of a friendship was going to survive, and you’d have to start looking for a new place for yoga classes as soon as you got home.  

‘Did I mention I was sorry?’ You asked Steve as he opened the door to his apartment.

‘Hmm. About a million times,’ Steve said as he opened the door for you. ‘But I think a couple of times more won’t hurt me.’

‘I’m sorry.’ You said again as you stood on the living room. Ruby’s steps echoed through the floor as she came to say hi to you. You clenched next to the labrador, scratching under her jaw the way she liked it as you looked back at Steve with an innocent pout on your face. ‘Do you forgive me?’

He let out a little laugh as he started taking his coat off. ‘Do I have another option?’

‘Well apparently not,’ Ruby was looking for one of her toys as you stood up, giving him an accusing stare. ‘Given I’m carrying your child now.’

‘Actually, Needy, you’re carrying twins.’ He said pointing at your stomach from the other side of the living room. ‘Sorry to break the news.’

‘S alright.’ You shrugged with a face of resignation as you rubbed your belly absently. ‘I’d find out sooner or later, I guess. After all, they’re coming out of my vagina.’

‘Right!’ He said thoughtfully as he walked towards the minibar. ‘The main event. Do you think I might be invited?’

‘I don’t know actually, let me check the waiting list and I’ll let you know when you should RSPV.’ You said letting yourself fall on his couch. Ruby had come back with a little teddy bear, and she was expecting you to throw it for her.

Steve let out a little laugh as he shook his head, opening a bottle of tequila as you started playing with Ruby. ‘Do you want a drink?’

‘I could have a pregnancy-safe margarita.’ You said when Ruby came back with her little toy. Steve’s eyes stole a glance at you as she rested her head on your knee, and you started petting her.

The apartment was silent as he made the drinks, and you seemed to be lost in your thoughts while you gave Ruby the attention she demanded. He heard you laugh softly once or twice as you petted her until he walked back with the two cocktail glasses. Neither of you said anything for a few minutes as you tasted the bitterly sweet taste of the drink, then you looked back at him for a second. Your eyes lingered on his profile, on the way his glasses hung over his nose, the moles of his neck and his lips. He had always had such a pretty mouth, a good, gentle mouth that lifted in a sweet smile for you more often than you deserved.

‘Hey.’ You said after a while. ‘Why didn’t you say anything about Tommy?’

‘I told you it wasn’t relevant.’ He looked down for a second as he placed his drink on the coffee table. ‘Two weeks ago, he walked into my office asking for a job. Apparently, he got in some sort of trouble back in Hawkins and he needed to leave. He had references, said he was crashing on someone’s couch so I…’ He shrugged. ‘I did him a favour, I guess.’

‘That doesn’t sound irrelevant.’ You said as you placed your drink next to his on the table. Your eyes studied his face for a second as you sat better. ‘It sounds quite the opposite, actually.’

He shrugged again. Steve was sitting in a relaxed posture, but somehow, he seemed so far from you as he stayed on the other side of the not so big couch, focused on the way Ruby licked her toy on the farthest corner of the living room.

‘I didn’t think it was important.’ He said as he looked back at you. ‘I know you never liked him; I know he used to talk shit about you at school. I didn’t think you’d be thrilled to know he’d moved here.’

‘Then why did you invite him tonight?’

Steve scoffed.

‘Because I didn’t want to be there on the first place, Needy. This was your idea.’ He said when he finally looked at you. ‘And if bringing Tommy Hagan with me was what was going to get me out of it then, fuck it.’

‘Okay.’ You said slowly as you felt the guilt sitting on your chest again. ‘But you lied to me, Steve. You told me you’d invited one of your friends.’

‘What friends, Needy?’ He scoffed again. ‘You know all my friends; we hang out with the same people; we share the same circles. How was I supposed to pair you with someone you already knew?’

‘I-I don’t know, I guess I imagined—’ You rubbed your knees with your hands as you looked back at him. ‘I’m not sure what I imagined but you could’ve said no to me, I wouldn’t have taken it personal.’

‘No, Needy.’ He firmly said as he stood up from the couch. ‘Don’t say that. Don’t fucking say that to me. You know very well that when something gets inside your head there’s no way I can say no to you. Especially things that have to do with my personal life.’

‘Okayokay. I get it!’ You said from your place in the couch, feeling like a teenager that had just been lectured under his stare. ‘I overstepped, I fucked up. I should’ve never suggested this or force you into it. I’m sorry.’

Steve shook his head as he took a deep breath while you bit your lip as you felt the anxiety rushing to your chest. His silence killed your much worse and less kindly than his words.

‘Why Annie, anyways?’ Steve said as he crossed his arms over his chest, he now seemed angrier as a serious frown took over his face. ‘What about this girl gave you the impression that I’d like to date someone like her?’

You opened your mouth for a second, trying to come up with words, stuttering for a moment as you shook your head.

‘I don’t know.’ You admitted. ‘She seemed nice.’

‘Nice?’ He scoffed. ‘Do you think the way she spoke to you was nice?’

‘I didn’t think she was going to come up with something like that, Steve.’ You said slowly as you felt the anxiety turning into anger.

‘Exactly.’ He said firmly. ‘That’s. My point. Needy. You didn’t know this girl and you set me on a date with her. If it wasn’t her, it would’ve been Kristy from work, or Emily from college or your cousin’s friend Alison…’

‘I just wanted to help!’ You raised your voice as you stood up. The back of your neck felt sweaty, your scalp itchy, your cheeks hot as you spoke. ‘I want you to be happy, Steve, I—’

‘Don’t… Don’t.’ He said in the same tone as he took another step towards you. ‘You can’t lie to me Needy, cut the bullshit.’

You crossed your arms over your chest as you blinked your tears away, trying to fight the feeling of anger and defeat you felt inside.

‘Don’t.’ He pointed a finger at you as your eyes fell back on him.

‘Don’t what?’

‘Stop this, Needy—’

‘Don’t what?’

‘Don’t start—’

‘You keep saying don’t don’t don’t—’

‘I don’t want to argue about this anymore.’

‘… And I don’t know what the fuck you mean—’

‘Don’t look at me like that, Needy. Don’t keep pressing on the fucking subject like—’

‘How? How am I looking at you?’

‘Just stop.’

‘Huh? Tell me Steve, how.’

‘Like a— helpless deer,’ He shouted. Steve tried to find his composure as he gathered the patience to look at you again. ‘Like a puppy that I just kicked, like you don’t fucking know.’

‘I’m getting out of here.’ You scoffed as you walked around the table through the side where he wasn’t standing.

‘No.’ 

‘Yes.’ You said as you made your way towards the door.

‘Needy.’ He said as he stood in the living room with his hands over his hips.

‘You know,’ You turned around on your heels as you stood next to the entrance of his apartment. ‘I find it fucking funny that I’m supposed to be the needy one here, when every single time something happens, I’m the one that shows up for you.’

Steve licked his lips as he let his hands fall on either side of him. You waited patiently as he shook his head, looking back at you.

‘Well, that’s your fault.’ He simply said.

It took you a few tense seconds to process his words. You stared at each other from each side of the apartment until a scoff scaped from your mouth.

‘You don’t say.’ You murmured sarcastically.

‘You know very well that if I tell you how much I need you, you’re going to walk through that door and avoid me for the rest of your life.’ He said as he took a step forwards. ‘I’m not gonna let that happen, Needy. I’m not gonna give you that option.’

‘You’re a selfish asshole.’ You murmured under your breath as you felt the tears pooling in your eyes.

‘If it’s about you, yes. Always.’ He shook his head seriously as he took another step towards you. ‘I want you for me, and I’m going to keep rejecting dates and sabotaging your attempts to see me happy with someone else that’s not you until you give me a chance.’

‘That’s manipulative.’ Your soft voice broke painfully as you felt the tears rolling down your cheeks. You were looking away, embarrassed and unable to hold his stare as he finally stood in front of you.

‘Maybe.’ He hid his hands inside his pockets as he looked back at you. He had always known how much you adored being touched by him, and just the idea that he knew you were craving for it now and he wasn’t going to do it just to prove his point was killing you. ‘But you haven’t dated anyone in three years, Needy. You spend every weekend with me. You have a drawer with clothes in my room, a toothbrush in my toilet, a copy of my keys. This is your home.’

‘Steve.’ You swallowed hard as you looked down because you didn’t dare to stare into his heartbroken eyes and know you were the reason he was hurting.

‘Listen, you don’t need to have me now.’ He said after a while. The so unbreakable façade he had been keeping up for the few minutes was slowly crumbling, by the way he had to clear his throat. By the way he had to swallow hard when you finally looked at him. Heavy eyelids and sad eyes as he shook his head. ‘I can wait. I probably will even if you don’t ask me to.’

‘That’s not fair.’ You whispered as your blinked slowly.

‘I don’t care about things being fair anymore.’ He said seriously. ‘I care about you. Being with you, taking care of you. I love you, Needy.’ He said it so honestly, so openly, that your guilt inevitably turned into shame inside your chest. He kept his dignity intact, and that was something you’d never be able to do. ‘I know you know. I know you’ve known for a while, and I’ve been able to live with it. Why can’t you?’

You stood speechless for a few seconds, unable to come up with the right words as you licked your lips and felt your hot skin almost melting on your face.

‘I don’t think I’m the right person for you, Steve.’ You admitted in a hoarse whisper. ‘I don’t think I’m the right person for anyone, really.’

He shook his head.

‘That’s some stupid bullshit you’ve let yourself believe.’

He wasn’t compassionate as he said it, just honest and vulnerable in ways that were messing with your mind. You stayed quiet as he kept talking, with that sincerity that was slowly turning you into nothing.

‘I get that you’re stubborn and whatever I might say now it’s going to be a hundred percent influenced by the fact that you’re my best friend and I’m in love with you, but you can’t live your life like this, Needy.’ His eyes lingered on your face as his eyebrows arched softly. ‘Sooner or later, everyone wants to be loved. And I want to love you. I do already, it’s effortless, I have… years of practice, Needy.’ He smiled softly to himself as he hid his hands deeper inside his pockets.

‘And I want you to give yourself the chance of… maybe finding out, that you might love me too. That you might be able to.’ He shook his head again as he looked away for a second, gathering the courage to keep going. ‘And I might be a selfish asshole, like you said. I know I can be arrogant, but I get the feeling, Needy, that you do. Because that’s just who you are, and you can’t help it. You just can’t help being the right person. You’ve always been.’

You released the deep breath you had been holding as your eyes searched for any little corner of the entrance to keep your focus on. There was a lot you were considering, but your words mixed up with your anxious thoughts, and there was so much you didn’t know how to address as you cleaned your teary face.

‘Why don’t you come back in, huh?’ He asked softly as you rubbed your eyes. ‘I’ll get you some water, maybe I can run you a bath…’

You finally looked back at him, biting the inside of your cheek as you shook your head absentmindedly.

‘I…’ You said as you lingered on your place. ‘C-Can I just— Can I crash here tonight?’

Steve stayed silent for a second as he stood in front of you. He seemed to hesitate for a second, scratching the stubble on his jaw before nodding.

You nodded too, releasing another deep breath as you two walked back inside. Ruby snored a little bit from the other side of the living room, the cocktail glasses untouched and forgotten on the table as the apartment’s atmosphere became intoxicated with tense sadness.

You sobbed a bit more as he led you into his bedroom, where the lamps barely illuminated his perfectly made bed that remained an unexplored area for you to this day. It was part of the implicit agreement of this friendship that on the common occasions where you stayed after a movie night or a few drinks that you’d sleep on his comfy couch while he stayed here. But tonight, there was no agreement, and just the thought brought more tears to your eyes as you sat down on the edge of the bed.

You could feel his soft stare on you when he sat down next to you, while more shameful tears ran down your cheeks. Steve’s hand rubbed your back as you sobbed again, unconsolable as a child as you attempted to clean your face once again.

‘Why don’t you lay down?’ He asked softly as he rubbed your back, but you now seemed to be having a bit of trouble breathing. ‘Needy.’

‘I can’t…’ You said tearily. ‘Tonight, I can’t. I’m sorry.’

‘You can’t?’ He lifted his eyebrows softly as he looked back at you, trying to search for answers in your pretty teary eyes. ‘You want to go home?’

‘No.’ you said softly as you breathed heavily. ‘I can’t have sex tonight. I’m sorry, Steve.’

‘Sweetheart.’ He said softly before he pulled you in. You melted effortlessly, swiftly climbing onto his lap to hide there.

His hands kept holding you against him as you pulled your knees up to your chest, hiding your head under his neck like you had done so many times before. You sobbed a bit more as he kept hushing those hurtful, weak noises that came out of you. He hid his nose on your hair, he kissed your scalp and rocked you softly as you cried some more.

‘Shhh.’ He whispered as you dozed off. ‘It’s okay. It’s all okay now.’

February 1995.

The weak sun sneaked through the curtains as you felt Steve’s weight move next to you on the bed. You sighed deeply as you stayed on that sweet and sometimes awful state between the real world and the realm of dreams.

Ironically, the idea woke you up fully as his arm wrapped around your waist. You had a dream, one of those that left you squeezing your legs while your body temperature increased unbearably.

Steve was awake, very awake. You could feel his heat against your ass as he kissed your shoulder, but thinking that you were still asleep, he didn’t bother in letting you know.

You swallowed hard as you considered the idea of starting the day like this. Your mind took you back to the faded memories of your dream, where he had done things to you that your body had been craving unconsciously and now it was sweetly begging you to do something about it.

Carefully, you took the hand that was hugging you to kiss his knuckles. You could feel the smile that lifted his lips instantly as he kissed the back of your neck, as he hugged you harder against his body.

‘Good morning.’ He said in a hoarse morning voice. The reaction of your body was instant, you were holding your breath as you moved to rest on your back, finding his sleepy eyes staring at your face already.

‘Happy Valentine’s Day.’ You said softly.

Still smiling, he leaned in to leave a soft peck on your mouth.

‘Happy Valentine’s, sweetheart.’

‘I got you a little present.’ You stretched under his stare as he lifted his eyebrows. ‘How do you feel about finally taking that trip to Miami?’

Steve seemed more awake as he leaned back.

‘Are you serious?’ He asked after a while.

You nodded softly, biting your lip as his smile turned wider.

‘There’s a little problem, though.’ You whispered as you turned to your side to wrap your arms around his neck. ‘It might be on the weekend where my parents’ organised that dinner for their vows renewal.’

Steve’s considered your words as his hand sneaked through your shirt, brushing your hip with his fingers as he bit the smile on his face.

‘They’re never going to find out.’ You laid back on the mattress as he climbed on top of you. ‘We just need to keep the pictures to ourselves.’

‘Oh, they will find out.’ Steve said as he entwined his hands on either side of you. A little mischievous smile took over his face at the way you were sighing deeply, he dragged your hands together over your head as he leaned in. ‘I’m gonna tell them.’

‘If you tell them, you’re going down with me, Harrington.’ You threatened him from your place underneath his body.

‘Oh, really?’ He whispered before he leaned in. His lips brushed yours briefly before their found your neck, sucking softly in a way that made you squirm a little before he was able to press his hard dick against your crotch. ‘I can just tell them you forced me to go with you.’

‘They won’t believe you.’ You said in a half moan, half sigh as his hands lifted your shirt to suck on your nipples.

‘I don’t know.’ He said as he left a trail of soft, wet kisses down your stomach. ‘Can just say the pussy was so good I couldn’t say no.’

‘Not to my parents, though.’ You laughed softly as he pulled down your panties. He laughed loudly in response, shaking his head as he blushed under your stare.

‘Right.’ He kissed the skin over your hipbone when he was able to kneel in front of you again. ‘I’ll have to come up with something else.’

‘Like…?’ You sighed when his mouth first came in contact with your pussy, arching your back at the delicious stimulus of his tongue on your clit.

‘I’ll just tell them you stole my idea for your Valentine’s Day present.’ He whispered against your folds as he dived in again to give your pretty pussy another wet kiss. ‘Naughty girl.’

‘No shit.’ You laughed softly as you opened your legs wider for him, letting out a whimper or two as he kept eating you out. ‘Really?’

‘Literally was going to call the travel agency tonight.’ He laughed too before his hands climbed up to stroke your boobs while he got lost on your taste. ‘S like you read my mind or something.’

‘Sorry— uh.’ You moaned again as your palm pressed over his hand against your breast. ‘That’s nice.’

‘Is it, huh?’ He said with his mouth full as he kept licking you. ‘I didn’t know you were so wet baby, how long has this pussy’s been this soaked huh?’

‘Mhmm.’ You moaned.‘I don’t know. I had a dream earlier.’

‘A dream?’ He cooed, placing his cheek on your pelvis while two of his fingers dived inside your sensitive slit. ‘Damn, sweetheart. You can’t just wake up this messy and do nothing about it. Should’ve woke me up me earlier.’

You shook your head as you let out another whimper, playing with his hair absently as more wetness leaked out of your pussy. 

‘M sorry.’ You moaned softly as you started to move your hips in beautiful, seductive circles that made Steve think about the last time you had been on top of him. ‘Was trying to— Uh. Tryin’ to find a way to ask for your help.’

‘Cause you knew I was going to clean you up, huh?’ He said as he fingered you a bit harder. ‘Spoiled thing, you like it when I clean you with my mouth?’

‘Yeah.’ You said with a choky breath. ‘Fuck.’

Steve leaned back slightly then, mesmerised at the way his shirt pooled over your clavicles, exposing your breasts and the rest of your greedy body for him as you kept fucking his fingers. He adored the way desire always found you casually, no makeup, socked feet, hair unbrushed as you bit your lip in desperation.

‘I’m ready.’ You breathed heavily as you looked down at him with a frown of desperation on your face. ‘Come here.’

‘Are you sure?’ He kissed your pelvis as he kept fingering you in the same rhythm. ‘You can cum like this, baby, I like it.’

‘M sure.’ You nodded enthusiastically. ‘I want you here. Inside.’

‘Inside where?’ He was climbing up your body to leave a nice love bite on your inner thigh. ‘Tell me with nice words.’

‘Inside my pussy.’ You moaned dreamily. ‘I want you inside me, please. I’m so needy.’

He smiled fondly at your choice of words, taking his dick out of his boxers with his free hand as his fingers lowered their pace inside you.

‘That you are, babe.’ His lips brushed your mouth when he said it, sweet and tender as he took out his fingers only to replace them with his heavy, hard dick. ‘Needy, Needy, Needy, My Needy.’

You smiled at the nickname as Steve started fucking you slowly, taking his own time as he enjoyed the folds of your flesh, the tightness of your hole. He left soft pecks all along your jaw, resting his forehead against your cheek as his hand rested on your hip for support.

‘I haven’t heard that one in a while.’ You murmured as you started moving your hips in the same pace as him. ‘I miss it.’

‘You do?’ He whispered.

You nodded softly. The heavy sigh that followed the kiss he placed on your earlobe was longing and a bit shaky. His lashes brushed your cheek lightly, almost tickling your skin as he blinked. He was looking at you, at the way you seemed drunk in your sweet pleasure, fascinated by how immersed you were in what your body was feeling.

‘I’ve been thinking about a new nickname for a while.’ He said as he slowed his pace. You instantly opened your eyes to look back at him as he smiled shyly. ‘What d’you think about Mrs Harrington, huh?’

Your eyebrows arched softly as you stared back at him.

‘R-Really?’

The smile on his face was slowly turning wider, lifting the sides of his eyes as he nodded.

‘Think it will suit you.’ He said softly, stroking your pretty face with his knuckles as he fucked you absentmindedly.

You let out a choky breath as your eyes turned a bit glossy, the shadow of a stunned smile on the corner of your mouth as you studied his face.

In the first few months after you two tiptoed around the world relationship, Steve had witnessed your fears with a knot on his throat. Wet kisses and little moans tended to escalate into sobs quickly, and then he’d stop it all and hold you until you feel asleep. Desire was often declined, seduction discouraged. Yet you were still needy of his touch. And he needed you too much not to give it to you. So, he set his mind to break through your vulnerability with patient yet constant attempts. And when he finally did, he found that the innocence he had once known was on the other side, intact and as exquisite as it had always been.

‘What do you think?’ Steve asked then. He was leaning in to swallow the tear that ran down your face. A happy one, a precious one.

‘Think so too.’ You murmured as you hugged him tightly against your body. ‘Yes.’ As you cried softly, he kept loving on you and moving his hips to try appeasing that neediness inside you. That little flame that always remained lit, that lighthouse that kept calling him home. Something innocent and once incomprehensible, that now he had learned how to keep alive and protected under his touch.

The next Friday you were in his car after dinner with his parents and you looked at him from the passenger seat, no pain in your heart, just knowing that whatever had bloomed between you two had run its course.

‘I think you should ask her out.’ You said then, eyes fixed on the windshield. Steve’s stare was overflowing with confusion at your words.

You had been his first everything. Neighbours since you moved to Hawkins when you were nine, best friends since the first day as the new girl at school, first kiss, first girl he slept with, first love.

‘What?’

You tried to read his eyes, knowing him so well, but that night his pupils seemed to be hiding something behind them. The sudden distance between you and the boy you knew like the palm of your hand made you feel insecure.

‘Nancy. She’s pretty. I think you should give it a shot.’

Steve’s eyes turned soft at your words. You weren’t angry, there was no sign of jealousy on your tone, and that was enough for him to know.

You gave him a sad smile and leaned in to kiss his warm cheek, your coconut perfume that stuck to his body like a second skin filling his lungs. The cold yet familiar texture of your lips lingered on his cheek after you stepped out of his car and walked back to your place.

Rumours flew around the school and though you and Steve smiled at each other in the hallways, it was obvious that you were no longer the It couple of Hawkins. A few weeks after that, guys from the sports team started to ask you out and Steve was seen making out with Nancy after classes.

It was weird the first months, but after a while you had to make peace with image of them walking around the school holding hands, and you started going out on dates again.

But you got bored quickly. It was the same every couple of months, a cute guy from the football team would ask you out, you’d go on a date, make out or if you were in the mood, have sex and when they started showing feelings for you, you ended it.

You weren’t sad or disappointed, it was just boredom. Some of them took it nicely, others… not so much. But what if they called you a slut on the hallways? You were still pretty and inaccessible to most. You were having fun.

And Steve, well, he had heard of your reputation, but if he saw anyone talking shit about you, he was always quick on telling them to shut up. He knew he’d always be protective of you, waving from his bedroom’s window when you played with your dog in the backyard every evening, and closing his curtains when he saw you kissing some guy in your bedroom on weekends, sometimes staying in rather than going out as he meant to just in case. In case something happened. In case you needed him. In case you called.

But that never happened.

There was another person in the school that was willing to defend you from the rumours, but you didn’t even know about his existence until one day outside school, when Jason Carver lost his temper with you.

‘I mean it was nice…’ He overheard you say as you stood in front of Jason. ‘I just don’t really feel we’ve got that much chemistry.’

Eddie Munson was leaning against his car from the other side of the parking lot, hiding his amused expression behind a cigarette. Whenever he saw your pretty face around the school, he couldn’t keep his eyes off you. Eddie had always admired the confidence with which you talked to boys, dressed in those little skirts and knee socks he loved even if the autumn chill was too cold for them. Internally, he kind of liked how careless about dating you were, using those guys for a few weeks before dumping them. He’d argue you had terrible taste in men, from Harrington to Carver to any other pretty boy in the school, but he knew he would never have a chance with you.

‘What the fuck?’ Jason said, but no muscle from you face moved.

‘Come on, Jason.’ You tried to be kind but God, was he annoying. ‘Don’t be silly, I’m sure there’s a bunch of girls in Hawkins that would kill to be with you.’ He opened his mouth to say something, but you didn’t let him speak. You never let them. ‘Anyways, I’ll see you around.’

‘Wait a fucking minute, you slut.’ You didn’t even have time to blink when his hand grabbed your arm so tightly it hurt. Eddie observed how you frowned in pain at Jason’s grasp. ‘You don’t get to break up with me.’

‘We’re not even dating, asshole.’ You said trying to get out of his grip. ‘Let me go.’ But the pressure on your arm became even stronger and more painful. ‘Seriously, Jason. Let go!’

Eddie didn’t wait for it to escalate when his fist hit Jason’s jaw and the boy’s hand finally let your arm go. ‘He told you to leave her the fuck alone.’

But Jason was not going to let someone like Eddie Munson walk away just like that. He returned the hit to the Eddie’s nose, and you took your hands to your face when he fell on the ground with a loud noise. Jason kept hitting him even when you screamed at him to leave the boy alone, trying to push him away from Eddie while a bunch of students surrounded you.

It wasn’t pretty. By the time they were separated, Eddie’s face was full of blood and Jason only seemed to have a small bruise on his cheek.

‘Hey!’ You called as the guy that defended you walked back inside the school. But Eddie felt too humiliated to talk to you, and all his bravery had been replaced by a deep sense of shame.

Steve didn’t think he’d find such a scene in front of him when he was about to walk out of the toilet. Eddie The Freak Munson walked inside the toilet with a bloody swollen face. Standing on his place as Eddie opened the sink, he observed the way the boy features clenched in pain when he took his hands to his face.

‘Do you need anything, Harrington?’

‘That just… that looks pretty bad. Should I call the nurse?’

But Eddie only laughed bitterly, not really used to anyone caring too much about him. He had always been invisible in front of people like you or Steve.

‘I’ll be alright.’ He said indifferently, and Steve nodded hesitantly, eyes lingering on the ringed bloody knuckles for a couple of seconds before leaving.

Steve didn’t think too much about it until he heard why Munson had been hit. The rumours said Jason Carver almost hurt you and The Freak had intervened at the right moment, but you felt weird talking about it, so you didn’t answer anyone’s questions as the bruise on your arm started to go from red to purple.

You searched for Eddie the following day at school but didn’t see him. His car was missing in the parking lot and when you tried to drive to his place to thank him, his uncle told you he wasn’t in, even if you heard the clear sound a guitar being played guitar behind the man on the threshold. So, you got the message.

Next Friday, you found yourself drinking and looking at Steve and Nancy from the other side of the party. Steve made eye contact with you as he danced with his girlfriend, and you gave him a sweet smile that he returned. It would never be strange for you to see him with someone else, but at the same time, you told yourself you weren’t really jealous.

But maybe Nancy Wheeler was.

‘Why do you keep looking at her?’ She asked. They were in the toilet after Steve had accidentally thrown his drink on her.

‘What? Who?’ His hands were a bit shaky at the anger behind Nancy’s eyes as he offered her some tissues to clean her clothes.

‘Who?’ She mocked, ‘Your ex-girlfriend, it’s like you’re obsessed with her or something.’

‘I’m not–’

Just then, the toilet’s door opened. Their eyes lift up to find you face, blood rushing to your cheeks quickly at the sight of your ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.

‘Oh, I’m sorry.’ You said, to what Nancy rolled her eyes.

Steve saw the way you looked at her confused. He opened his mouth to apologize for his drunk girlfriend when his eyes caught the purple bruise on your arm, quickly looking back at you. You knew those eyes so well, he was worried. A question in his pupils as his mouth opened slightly. But you turned shy then, embarrassed by the bruise and by your drunkenness, feeling like you had somehow disappointed him.

‘Hey–’ He started, but you closed the toilet’s door quickly before walking towards the living room to tell your ride to go home. You shouldn’t have come to that stupid party anyways.

On Monday, everyone knew that Steve Harrington and Nancy Wheeler were no longer together. You started wearing long sleeved sweaters on top of your usual cute tops with the excuse of the low temperatures, but you were just covering the bruise that had made you feel so humiliated when you last saw Steve.

Eddie thought he was probably the only one that noticed you were wilting after what happened with Jason. He started to be more careful after the fight too, face still purple and swollen by the bruises that cost him the stares of the people calling him a weirdo in the hallways. So, he decided to start eating his lunch in the school’s toilets rather than in the cafeteria.

But he still observed you in between classes, when you were distracted taking your books from your locker, keeping your eyes low. When you started to turn down the dates the popular boys invited you to, punishing yourself for what you thought you had caused. Eddie saw the way you hid your pretty eyes from Steve, who often stared the back of your neck during class or in the hallway, and with narrowed eyes he silently noticed Harrington’s face full of confusion and sadness as you ignored him in the parking lot.

Steve would lift his eyes to find Munson’s gaze on him, not breaking the eye contact as his ringed scarred hands reached for a cigarette on his pocket. His cheeks would turn hotter at the piercing look in Eddie’s pupils, as if he had been caught doing something stupid, or as if he knew something Steve didn’t. All he could do was open the door of his BMW to go home and try to get you off his head as his knuckles wrapped tightly around the wheel.

It all went downhill for Steve after that.

Months later, some rich kids called Eddie to bring some weed over for them at a party, and when he opened the big wooden door of the fancy house, he found Steve’s swollen face on the other side of the door.

The boy ran past him, not even noticing when Eddie stood next to the door and watched him get inside his car. He should’ve done something, he should’ve offered him some help like he had done months ago when he hit Jason, but Eddie was paralysed. He didn’t realise he had been standing outside like an idiot, watching Steve’s car get lost in the distance, until a familiar body walked past him again.

Your coconut perfume made him take a step back into the shadows of the night. You were standing on the street now, your bare back exposed by a nice little dress, trying to see through the darkness. But Steve was gone. The night’s cold air made you shiver, and Eddie decided to walk inside the house before he could do something stupid, like talk to you.

When Eddie walked in, he looked around, trying to find any of the people he had spoken to on the phone earlier. He was about to walk into the kitchen when the sight of Billy Hargrove’s bloody knuckles made him walk away in the opposite direction.

You saw Steve’s bruises heal from the distance.

The laughs of Carol Perkins and Tommy Hagan made you lift your eyes sometimes, but Steve no longer hung out with them, the empty space where he belonged once making you frown your eyebrows with curiosity.

Sometimes you stared at the phone next to your bedside table, laying on your bedroom’s floor with your hair wet after a shower and your feet bare against your green rug, thinking about calling him. But you never felt brave enough to deal his number, and you had grown fond of walking your dog around the block instead of playing with him in the back garden of your house. Or that’s what you told yourself.

You thought he and Nancy would eventually come back together, hopeful that it might all have been a misunderstanding and completely unaware of how you had caused the breakup on the first place, but she was now dating Jonathan Byers. He must be feeling lonely, you thought the morning you found the new couple kissing against Jonathan’s car.

Yet you would still looked back to your locker when you saw Steve walking down the hallway, a little red scar marking his lower lip, purple bruises around his nose fading. You were dying to talk to him, repressing a sigh as the smell of his familiar woody cologne invaded your lungs when he walked past. But you abandoned the idea, closing your locker’s door a bit too harshly before heading to class.

Didn’t everyone feel utterly miserable in high school, anyways?

It all changed two weeks after that, when you were on your way to the cafeteria and Billy Hargrove tried to ask you out. You stood next to your locker in shock, lips partly opened but nothing coming out of them. You had turned more introvert after what Jason Carver did to you, and you figured Hargrove would treat you worse than him. You’d seen what he did to Steve, and the way his little sister seemed so tense around him all the time sent shivers through your body. You almost felt your hands shaking next to your sides as you looked back at him, but the fear quickly turned into something else: anger. Why did you have to be so careful around all these assholes?

‘I don’t… I don’t think so, Billy.’ You said before trying to walk past him, but Billy placed his arm on your locker and blocked your way out, making you roll your eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, but you pushed his chest with your hand. ‘I said I don’t want to. Leave me the fuck alone.’

‘What? You’re getting picky now after half the school has slept with you?’

And that’s what made you snap.

You kicked him on the shin by reflex, the first thing you brain could come up with. But when he reached for his leg trying to soothe the pain, your rage was too much for you to hold in.

Everyone in the hallway was looking at you when you bent a little to be at the same eye level as him. ‘Listen to me, asshole. I fuck whoever I want to, not the other way around. Maybe you’re not half as hot as you think you are, so if you really want the full thing, you’re gonna have to masturbate until your little dick falls off.’

Your angry words echoed through the walls as Billy’s eyes filled with fury. Under his breath, he was still able to speak, ‘Who wants to fuck the school’s slut, anyways.’

‘That’s it–’ you said, but as you were about to jump on him you felt someone’s arms on your waist.

‘Okay, okay. That’s enough.’ Steve said as he walked you backwards, his hand around your waist while you kicked your feet in the air and Billy composed himself. ‘Come on.’

‘Let me go, Steve!’ You screamed as he kept dragging you away from Billy and the rest of the students.

But he didn’t until you were in the boy’s toilets, your cheeks red with anger and scalp a bit sweaty by the adrenaline.

‘You need to calm down.’

Eddie stood still inside the toilet’s stall when he jumped to the sound of Steve Harrington’s voice. He thought it was weird for him, or anyone, to be in these toilets that he found almost no one in the school seemed to use. Until he heard your voice.

‘I don’t fucking want to calm down.’

Eddie stayed silent, trying to look through a little crack on the stall’s door. Steve had both hands on your shoulders while you seemed to be breathing heavily with rage.

‘He could’ve–’ He started.

‘Don’t say it. Don’t fucking say it.’ You removed his hands from your shoulders, screaming at him. You knew it wasn’t Steve’s fault, but you were burning with anger. ‘I’ll fucking fight him, Steve. Hargrove, Carver, all of them. I’m so sick of this shit.’

You let out a sigh, trying to relax, but it was impossible. Eddie smiled at your words; he loved how tough you were despite the fact you seemed like a really soft girl. He repressed a laugh at the sight of Steve standing in front of you with his hands on his hips, trying to figure out what the fuck do with you.

‘I know, I know.’ He said, eyes serious as he looked at you through brown strands of hair that fell on his forehead, ‘But that’s not the solution–’

‘You’re such a hypocrite!’ You clenched your fist on either side of you, ‘You hit Billy–’

‘Yeah, and I fucking lost.’ He said to you, his hands were aching to touch you again. Your cheeks red, coconut smell everywhere around him, softened by the way your hands got lost inside your oversize sweater. He missed that, he missed that so much, making him suddenly nervous like when he was sixteen. He swallowed before speaking again, trying to keep those thoughts out of his head.

‘I would’ve had to fight him again if he’d touch you and I would’ve lost again.’ His words almost made you smile, stress and anger dissipating and his eyes lighting up at your reaction. ‘Would’ve ended up like Munson when he hit Carver.’

Eddie noticed how you shut your eyes at the sound of his name, tilting your head back and biting your lip. ‘I still feel so fucking guilty about that. I was never able to thank him and now I feel too awkward to do it.’

Eddie held a sigh at your words. A part of him felt kind of flattered, but another was relieved you never spoke to him again. As creepy as it sounded, and as pathetic as he felt for it, he preferred to observe you from afar.

‘I think maybe I should too.’ Said Steve as his eyes got lost on the tiles of the toilet’s floor. You lifted your gaze at his words, but he didn’t feel brave enough to look back at you. ‘I mean, that wouldn’t have happened if I…’

He let the words hang in the air. You turned your gaze to your shoes, arms crossed over your chest as the air turned tense. He took the opportunity to look back at your face and study the subtle changes that had somehow turned you even prettier after your breakup. No wonder you had so many guys after you, the air of confidence you radiated now made you irresistible. But he knew you. They didn’t deserve you.

When you licked your lips, Eddie couldn’t ignore the way Steve’s eyes followed the movement of your mouth.

‘We can be friends.’ You said then, looking up at him.

Steve nodded sightly, but you knew the darkness in those eyes too well. He wasn’t looking at you the way friends looked at each other. Eddie noticed the way your body shifted next to him, looking at Steve from under your lashes and biting your lip unconsciously, unaware of the effect that simple gesture would have in the two boys that were looking at you. Steve looked down to your shoes when you took a step towards him.

God, he was so pretty. You took your time to study the scars that now adorned the skin around his nose and mouth, dying to kiss them. You remembered that summer night you had sneaked into his bed for the first time two years ago, the way his weight over your body felt so right, the safety and tenderness of it all. You remembered how Steve Harrington fucked: slowly, devotedly, sweetly, sloppy.

Maybe it was the habit that made his hand lift to stroke the little space of skin between your skirt and sweater. His fingers hadn’t forgotten, you were still soft as silk, and your coconut smell that used to perfume his bedsheets brought the same memories of your body beneath his. Mind clouded by images of your open mouth and arched brows as he guided you with the movements of his hips. There was a time when you trusted him.

‘S that what you want?’ Steve whispered. His eyes met yours then, not trace of shyness in them, but the same endless devotion he so dangerously gave away as if it was nothing.

‘Maybe.’ You pondered in silence as you got closer to him, and your eyes asked for what your mouth didn’t. ‘I mean, I can be a really good friend.’

Steve’s hand found the back of your knee, fingertips following an invisible line from there towards your ass. Eddie couldn’t look away at the sight of your skirt lifting just enough to see the curve of your butt cheek when Steve’s hand found the lace of your thong. You gasped at his touch; this wasn’t boring at all. Not like the sex you were having in the cars of all those guys you had been dating the last few months.

‘Hmm, ‘m sure you can.’ His hand was playing with the lace of your panties now, he held the thin fabric strip before lightly letting it go, hitting your skin just nicely. He knew you liked that. His fingers moved to the fabric in between your legs, finding it damp. A breathy laugh left his lips in disbelief. ‘So wet already?’

Eddie couldn’t help but shut his eyes at Steve’s words. He couldn’t help but imagine what a wet mess your underwear was, the way he’d kill to put his hand under your skirt like Steve was doing right now. You moaned in response, and Eddie opened his eyes to find you looking straight into your ex-boyfriend’s, dark brown taking in the pretty scene in front of him. Eddie had a thing for girls that knew how to do eye contact, and you seemed to be fucking fantastic at it. Your eyebrows met in the middle when Steve opened your legs slightly, with so much confidence behind, like he had never forgotten the little things that made your body melt.

Steve’s eyes stayed on you when he lifted your leg towards him, your knee resting on his hip. ‘What d’you say, sweetheart?’ He whispered, lips brushing yours as he spoke, ‘Just once for old times’ sake?’

‘Fuck, Steve.’ You rolled your eyes at his cockiness. ‘Just touch me.’

He let out another breathy laugh as his fingers dived inside your underwear. Eddie rolled his eyes when the sounds of Steve’s hands getting in and out of your wet cunt echoed through the toilet’s walls. You took three of your fingers to your mouth, trying to hide your moans by sucking on them. Steve placed his forehead on yours as you looked up at him, eyes overflowing with that purity he loved so much.

‘D’you like it, baby?’ He said putting another finger inside of you, ‘Did your pretty pussy miss me?’

It was the way you nodded innocently as your fingers came in and out your mouth what made Eddie unzip his jeans. How many times had you been in his fantasies? Way too many. And now you were here, being fingered in the school’s toilets, your frail body turning into nothing. He couldn’t resist to touch himself, the noise of your choked whimpers making his cock throb.

Eddie started stroking up and down his dick when your hand found Steve’s big erection under his jeans. ‘Wanna fuck me ‘gainst the sink?’ You said then, voice soft but hot, just how you knew Steve liked it. That voice had always made him dumb, and you knew by the way his eyelids had turned heavy and his pupils shiny, that his brain was struggling to process your dirty words as your hand rubbed against his bulge. ‘Can keep the skirt on and you can fuck me from behind, hmm?’

‘Fuck.’ Eddie whispered under his breath. He was trying not to cum so quickly, but you were making it hard for him.

Steve couldn’t resist your offer, unzipping his jeans clumsily while you bent over the sink. You looked behind your shoulder, innocent eyes inviting him as you stood all exposed for him.

Eddie’s clothes were wet with sweat at the look of your ass and your wet pussy ready for Steve, but when Harrington moved his boxers down and his cock fell out hard and big, something inside him betrayed him, trying hard to repress the loud moan that almost got him caught.

‘Shit.’ He whispered then, as Steve positioned himself behind you and the noise of skin against skin filled the toilet. Eddie had to angle himself properly before all his cum fell promptly on the stall’s door, staining the floor too. ‘Shit. Shit. Shit.’

It didn’t happen just once.

You didn’t know what this meant, and you didn’t care. You and Steve found each other in the school’s toilets at least once a week. In person you were still polite, but it wasn’t like you were dating again.

But it seemed like that’s what made the whole thing so nice. This was different from any other thing you had experienced before. In the time you had spent apart, you and Steve had definitely learned some nice new stuff, but you had never forgotten what could drive each other insane. And through all your encounters, Eddie sat down inside the stalls making sure he kept quiet as he heard your precious moans echoing through the walls.

He had also learned that Steve was very vocal. Growls against your neck, some pretty nice noises when you got on your knees for him… That was Eddie’s favourite sight while he looked through the familiar crack of the same stall door: your little mouth taking Harrington’s big cock so well. At times, he closed his eyes while Steve moaned, fantasising about stroking your hair and calling you a good girl while you made out with your ex-boyfriend’s cock.

But things are always bound to change, and one particularly cold day you found yourself getting fucked in the toilets once again. Your back was against the wall, heel on Steve’s shoulder as his dick touched that spot he knew how to find so well.

‘Hmm, you’re desperate for it today, baby.’ He said before thrusting into you, ‘Like it like that?’

‘Uh-uh.’ Your nails were leaving nice half-moon marks on his back as your head hit the wall every time he thrusted himself inside you. ‘Fuck me like that.’

Eddie could notice your hard nipples under your soft top, since you had taken your sweater off earlier. Steve was right, there was something freaky about you today, something that made Eddie even harder for you as the boy in front of you fucked you faster, and faster.

‘Hmm.’ You moved your hips against Steve as he fucked deeper into you. His eyes almost absent because of how good and tight you felt. You loved when he looked at you like that. ‘Shit, daddy, fuck me harder.’

Steve would’ve cum for you right there if it wasn’t for the soft growl that startled you two. You covered yourself with your skirt and he instinctively stood up in front of you, his hand finding yours right after he zipped his jeans and interlacing your fingers together. There was no noise for a second until something caught your eye, a shadow under one of the stalls. There was someone here. You decided to walk past Steve, standing in front of one of the green metal doors.

You placed your ear next on it and heard the clear sound of a heavy breath behind. Holding your breath, you pushed the door lightly, finding no other than Eddie Munson on the other side.

He was holding his face on his hands, cheeks red in embarrassment when you laughed with relief.

‘Fuck, Eddie. You scared the shit out of me.’

He looked up confusedly at you when Steve walked the distance to the stall. ‘Munson.’ Steve’s cheeks turned rosy at what the situation looked like. ‘Were you…?’ He swallowed hard trying to find the right words.

‘I’m sorry.’ His anxious voice echoed through the walls, and you noticed the subtle shaking of his hands. ‘Shit. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.’

‘Hey.’ You walked inside and bent in front of him. His hands were freezing when you held them in yours. ‘I’m not mad. It’s fine. It’s hot stuff, don’t worry.’

Eddie looked up at Steve then, who stood with his hands on his hips. Steve considered the situation for a second and shrugged in resignation. ‘Whatever, man. If she doesn’t care, I don’t care.’

Eddie let out a sigh of relief then, and you gave him a sweet smile. Your shoulders relaxed when the terror dissipated from his eyes, and something inside you turned soft. The idea of him being so scared almost broke your heart.

‘I’ll tell you what,’ You said standing up, a cheeky smile on your beautiful angelical face as you spoke, ‘I’m feeling quite generous today.’

Eddie thought he was dreaming it all for a second when you walked towards Steve, wrapping your arms around his waist. You were still wearing no underwear, your skirt just short enough for Eddie to look at the soft lines of skin underneath. ‘What do you say, Steve? Should we let Eddie watch?’

Steve looked from you to Eddie, trying to process what you were asking. His dick twitched inside his jeans, still needing the sticky wet walls of your pussy wrapped around it.

‘Babe.’ He said unsure. His hands found your hips by reflex, the soft and warm skin above the hem of your skirt calming his nerves.

‘Steve.’ You said then, face turned serious before you looked behind your shoulder at Eddie, then back at him. ‘Are you really gonna tell me this doesn’t turn you on?’

Steve seemed hesitant. Not because he wished to say no, but because he wanted to say yes so badly it scared him. Something in his eyes made yours turn softer for him as you realised he seemed a bit insecure, heart beating hard against his chest.

‘Hey.’ You cupped his face with your hands and looked into his sweet brown eyes, brows arching when your thumb stroked his cheekbone. You didn’t know what this was anymore, but if you were going to do this, it was going to be with Steve and only Steve. ‘It’s just me. You know I’d never judge you.’

He nodded once and swallowed hard before letting out a deep breath.

‘Still wanna do it?’ You asked once again, to what he nodded more eagerly now, eyelids getting heavy as the heat of his body increased.

You took a step aside, getting rid of your top then, showing off your hard nipples and enjoying the idea of being observed by the two boys. You felt your pussy getting wet once again as your back rested on the cold metal wall of the stall. Feeling Eddie’s eyes on you, you grabbed Steve’s shirt and pulled him towards you.

‘Now fuck me so Eddie can cum.’

And just like that, things changed. Now you and Steve met with Eddie at least once a week in the toilets. You enjoyed it too much. Steve would say he was just happy to indulge you, but you also saw the looks exchanged between the two boys when they were about to cum, the way Steve often looked at Eddie to check that he was enjoying it. You’d be lying if you said it didn’t make your orgasms harder and sweeter.

You found out quickly that Eddie loved to see you sucking cock, and Steve noticed Eddie loved to look at you from the other side of the toilet while he fucked you from behind. And almost in an implicit agreement, you indulged his fantasies too.

Eddie never touched either of you, though. He was just a mere observer on those occasions, and he didn’t feel brave enough to ask for it, scared it might offend you and Steve. He wasn’t sure of how things worked between you two outside the toilet’s boundaries either.

When he smoked his usual cigarette while leaning on his car after school, he noticed that you and Harrington never left together. He still saw how Steve still looked at you during class though, the way the pretty brown eyes that often focused on his dick seconds before cumming followed your silhouette in the hallways. How his face turned red whenever you waved at him right after you caught him staring from the other side of the classroom; the tense frown on his face as some guy tried to flirt with you in the parking lot, mediocre speeches leaving their mouths before you simply replied no to their date offers.

Eddie noticed everything. And Eddie knew that Steve had never gotten over you.

You were more difficult to decipher. You seemed to be extra caring of Steve most times, always leaving needy kisses after finishing before you turned back to look at him and ask, ‘You okay, Eddie?’ with your sweet smile, but that’s just who you were. Outside the toilets, you kept being the girl you had always been, comfortable in that careless solitude that made you seem so unreachable.

Another Friday, another party; and you were considerably drunk, sitting on the kitchen’s counter with some girls from school, joking about the possibility of doing body shots while Steve looked at you from the other side of the room.

You had noticed him earlier, sitting on the couch next to Robin Bluckey, but you promised yourself you wouldn’t give it too much thought. At the end of the day, he kept coming back to fuck you in the toilets every week. His pretty eyes lingered on you, that cocky smile that used to fill your stomach with butterflies at sixteen adorning his face, causing you to bite your lower lip as you tried to ignore him.

You looked down to the drink one of the girls offered you, when the familiar silhouette of Eddie walking into the house caught your attention. He seemed kind of lost, looking for someone or something. You knew what Eddie did in this parties, he wasn’t exactly invited, more like called when he was needed. But a part of you somehow wished he would stay tonight.

His dark eyes found yours and you gave him a sweet smile, too sweet, he would argue, bringing back memories of the little meeting you’d had with Harrington the day before.

He had to try hard to keep the image of your body against the sink counter off his head, Steve kneeling in front of you and his pink tongue softly stroking your clit while you moaned nonsense, your beautiful body turning into nothing just for them–

Weren’t you the sweetest secret he’d ever kept?

You noticed he tried to return the smile, but it was just a shy gesture that lifted the edges of his mouth subtly. You followed his body with your eyes as he got lost between the dancing bodies in the living room before realising Steve wasn’t on the couch anymore.

That was it. You stayed on your side of the party, Steve on his, and Eddie doing business like it was supposed to be. Until your boredom saved your ass for once.

You stepped outside the house with a red cup on your hand, the loud music still bouncing through the walls of the house. It was too cold to be wearing the top and red skirt you had on tonight, but the alcohol made you feel warm, and you felt alone. God, you were always alone. The girls you had been hanging out with hours ago were either puking or getting laid in the rooms upstairs, gone as soon as they found someone else to talk to or a guy to flirt with.

Sometimes being popular felt too much like being pathetic.

You let out a deep sigh and downed the liquid in the cup, feeling the alcohol burning your throat. You cleaned your mouth with your wrist when you noticed the familiar BMW parked a bit further away from the house. Steve, your Steve was leaning against the door, arms crossed over his chest, hair falling on his forehead.

You walked down the front steps and got closer to his car with a smile on your face.

‘Hey.’ You murmured.

‘Hey.’ He said back. Your eyes followed the way his leather jacket hugged his arms so nicely before you turned your head to the night’s darkness. You were trying to hide how cold you were as the wind blew your hair.

‘Had fun tonight?’

He laughed softly at your question. ‘Not really. Just drove Robin here but she left with… uh, someone else.’

You lift an eyebrow with a flirty smile on your face. Steve couldn’t help but repress a laugh as his eyes got lost beyond your shoulder, anything to avoid the way you were making his body temperature increase.

‘King Steve’s date leaving with someone else? That’s new.’

Steve wanted to tell you it wasn’t at all new, and that he didn’t remember when was the last time he went on a date or the last time someone had called him King Steve.

‘You know that Robin is not my girlfriend, right?’

You lifted your eyes at him, studying his face before you took a step forward.

‘I know.’ You said, the candy gloss on your lips reflecting the lights of the road.

He could see the way your skin was full of goosebumps, but his eyes lingered shamelessly on the red mark he had left on your neck the day before. The sweet melody of your moans mixing with Eddie’s heavy breaths came to his mind.

He opened his mouth to say something, but the reflection of red and blue lights in the distance stopped him.

‘Shit.’ Said Steve. You’d recognise Jim Hopper’s car anywhere.

‘Eddie.’ He looked back at you at the sound of the boy’s name. ‘Shit, Steve. Eddie’s inside selling stuff.’

You were about to move when Steve put his hand on your shoulder. ‘Get in the car. I’ll get Eddie, then we’ll leave.’

You stayed in your place, confusion all over your face as Steve climbed the front steps.

‘Get in the car!’ He said before he got lost inside.

You didn’t waste time and quickly walked around the car to sit on the passenger seat. The red and blue lights were much closer now, music still loud mixing with the laughs of the people inside the house.

You observed how Hopper walked out of his car with other two police officers, your knees were shaking but the cold had nothing to do with it. Your parents were going to kill you if they found out. You sat deeper into the seat when they walked next to Steve’s car, before climbing the front stairs of the house.

You didn’t notice Eddie and Steve walking out through the garden gate until the driver’s door opened, making you jump.

‘Let’s go.’ He closed the door quickly as you heard the screams of people and Hopper’s loud voice over the music. ‘Eddie, let’s go.’

But Eddie stood outside the car as people started to run out of the house. He was paralysed at the absurdity of the situation, unable to move until you looked behind your shoulder at him. ‘Eddie, get in!’

He nervously opened the door and sat in the backseat as Steve turned the engine on. You let out a sigh of relief when he started to drive in reverse. Eddie looked down at the strange looks of the few people realising the three of you were inside Steve’s car, his own sense of shame telling him maybe you wouldn’t want to be associated with the school’s freak.

But all you did was roll your eyes and show them your pretty manicured middle finger through the windshield. You could imagine what the whispers would say about you on Monday, but it was out of your control at this point.

‘Let’s get the fuck out of here.’ Said Steve.

He had been driving in silence for a few minutes. You were warmer now that Steve had turned the heating on. Eddie stood at the back, trying to ignore how the seats of Steve’s car smelled so much like him. Like cinnamon and cedar. Like pretty boy and money.

‘I can’t go home like this.’ You said looking through the window. Eddie frowned at the note of sadness in your voice. ‘If my dad sees me like this, he’s gonna kill me, Steve.’

He noticed how Steve licked his lips and took a worried glance at you before looking back at the road. ‘My parent’s aren’t home. You can stay there tonight.’ Eddie almost jumped when Steve looked at him through the rearview mirror. ‘You okay with that, Munson?’

Eddie looked up at the worried brown eyes on the mirror, piercing and protective in a way he didn’t know Steve Harrington could be.

‘Sure.’

You stepped out of the car as soon as Steve parked in front of his house, making sure to walk in quickly in case your parents were around. But your body visibly relaxed once you were inside the Harrington’s living room, leaning against the wall and closing your eyes to let out a breath of relief. Steve couldn’t help but stare at you, body full of goosebumps as you tried to calm down.

Eddie looked around the spacious house, at the green couch that must’ve costed more money he would ever make in his life, at the elegant lamps that fell from the ceiling, at crystal walls on the other side of the living room. He looked back at Steve, who hadn’t taken his eyes off your profile and was so evidently and pathetically in love with you, and Eddie knew then thathe didn’t belong there or anywhere else.

‘I should probably go home.’ He said.

Your eyes opened wide at his words. ‘No.’

Your hand found his quickly, not even giving him a chance for his brain to register the cold touch of your fingers. ‘Eddie, come on.’

He stayed silent for a second, thinking about what words to choose, when Steve spoke.

‘Why?’

‘I…’ But couldn’t bring himself to say it, instead he just shook his head slightly.

The confusion in your eyes made his chest hurt. He looked from you to Steve, but he couldn’t hold the deepness of his stare, he would rather drown in the tenderness of yours.

‘Listen, I–, you two–,’ He couldn’t help but get distracted at the way your fingers stroked his rough hands. ‘You two work really well, sweetheart. I don’t know what I’m doing here.’

‘Hey. Eddie.’ Steve took a step towards him, his shoulder brushing with yours, tone filled with urgency as he searched for the boy’s eyes. ‘Come on.’

Eddie let out an unsure breath before brushing the curls of his head with his free hand. He didn’t know what Steve and you were asking, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to. If he was ready to.

It was almost a whisper, the way Steve said it, but it was loud enough for you two to hear it. ‘We came back for you.’

You looked back at him then, vulnerability overflowing from those eyes you’ve loved since you were sixteen. And you knew. You knew that the something you and Steve were missing was right in front of you.

Your other hand found Steve’s then, making his gaze fall on you, pretty and beautiful under the soft lights of his empty house.

Your movements were slow when you placed Eddie’s hand on your stomach. He had never touched you, so he couldn’t repress the deep breath he let out as you guided his hand upwards, ringed thick fingers touching your ribs over your shirt. You were still looking into Steve’s eyes when Eddie’s hand reached your chest under your guidance, feeling your nipples getting hard under your bra. He was so warm now, burning against the fabric that covered your boobs.

‘Tell me to stop.’ You told Steve, voice weak as he observed the way your cheeks were turning rosy and your eyes needy. ‘Tell me to stop, and I’ll stop.’

He shook his head, a subtle gesture interrupted by his eyes following the trace you drew over your body with the other boy’s hand. You took Eddie’s fingers to the space in between your clavicles, then your neck, then your chin.

‘Jesus Christ.’  Eddie couldn’t help but swear under his breath when you took two of his fingers inside your mouth.

Your saliva was thick and sticky as you took them into your pretty mouth, tongue soft when it came in contact with his fingertips. You closed your eyes and let out a deep breath as you took his fingers in and out of you. Your eyes finally looked back at Eddie when they opened again, and he looked so entranced by you and your damn mouth taking his fingers so well that he knew he was gone.

You couldn’t help but pull him towards you, his body crashing softly and heavy against yours and Steve’s, the sweetest smile on your face as your hand found his cheek. You felt Steve’s arm wrap around your waist, chin sitting on your shoulder and erection hard against your ass while Eddie’s lips brushed yours, hesitating even when your noses rubbed against each other and one of Steve’s hands started to draw an invisible line from your knee to your thigh.

‘Just… just kiss me, Eddie.’ You whispered.

He finally got the courage to close the gap between you two. His lips were needy but tender. You were dying to bite him, to feel him. This wasn’t just sex, and you knew it by the way Eddie’s lips stroked yours slowly and his hands found your face while Steve left sweet pecks on your neck and temple.

‘Take me to the couch.’ You whispered breathily as Eddie’s lips brushed against the skin of your neck.

‘Uh-uh, sweetheart.’ His voice was velvety as he kissed along the curve of your boobs. ‘M not fucking you on some couch.’

You let out a soft laugh at his words. Your hand found the back of Steve’s neck as you looked back at him, he loved the way your eyelids turned heavy as Eddie started to kiss the skin next to your knee.

‘Want to share you.’ You whispered then. Steve’s eyebrows arched at your words, it overwhelmed him, how willing you were to give him everything so devotedly. His eyes almost rolled when Eddie’s hand found the bulge under his pants, and you smiled at him as the curly haired boy observed his reaction from below. ‘Re you gonna let me, Steve? Wanna share you with Eddie.’

Steve’s head was clouded by desire and fear, and his dick was getting harder the more the big hand of Eddie kept rubbing his bugle. His forehead fell on yours, the sigh that left his mouth stroked your lips, as he shut his eyes hard. His breaths heavy in between shaky words, surrendering to what his body wanted, ‘Fuck. Yeah. Yeah, okay.’

His heart was still beating hard against his chest when he sat on the bed. You got rid of your top as soon as you walked inside his room, pushing Steve’s chest lightly towards the bed just like you loved to do when you were younger. Eddie’s hands found your shoulders to push you into Steve’s lap while his lips started to bite your neck, his curls tickling the skin of your arms.

Steve got rid of your bra when Eddie’s tongue found its way back to your mouth, swallowing the moans you let out as the other boy started sucking on your hard nipples. Your skin filled with goosebumps, Eddie’s cautious hand sneaking into your underwear to feel your pussy so deliciously wet for him. It caught you off guard, the way he seemed to know your body even if it was the first time he touched it, making you moan as two of his fingers massaged the spot he had seen Steve hit with his fingers so many times.

Your mouth opened to let a loud moan out while he still kissed you, making his dick throb as you felt Steve’s hand lifting your skirt to have a better look at the pretty image of Eddie’s fingers getting in and out of you. When the pace of his fingers turned faster you couldn’t help but throw your head back to rest it on his shoulder, breaking the kiss.

Eddie’s hungry eyes turned to Steve then, looking at the way the pretty boy’s cheeks were rosy under his gaze, the leather jacket he was wearing long forgotten on the bedroom’s floor, the tight white shirt he wore accentuating his arms nicely. Eddie’s arm still vibrated by the rhythmic movements of his fingers inside you when Steve swallowed hard at what he knew was coming.

You fell on top of his body when Eddie leaned in to kiss him, being nicely crushed by Eddie’s weight and caught in between their bodies, feeling his dick hard against your ass. Always used to be a giver, Steve got overwhelmed by all the attention he was receiving as Eddie’s demanding tongue stroked his and the smell of your hair surrounded him. He felt your lips climbing from his neck to his jaw, the way your tongue played with his earlobe before you bit it sweetly, a soft laugh leaving your lips as you felt his hand squeezing your thigh in response. You could feel his heartbeat, hard and fast under your naked chest, and your own body’s response, the sound of your pulse on your ears. Eddie’s lips started climbing down to Steve’s neck, and you took the opportunity to climb off his lap.

It was a sweet dance of an implied agreement between you and Eddie to make Steve feel good and safe. You sat down behind him to help him get rid of his t-shirt as Eddie left a trail of kisses down his chest and stomach. You kneeled on the bed so Steve’s head could rest on your thighs, pretty eyes looking at you with fear and excitement. You bent to kiss his forehead, his nose, the corner of his mouth while his lips let out shaky breaths that reminded you so much of the fear you both felt the first time you had sex. His shaky hands found yours as you smiled at him from above, and his eyes shut hard when Eddie finally teased the tip of his dick with his lips.

‘Fuck.’ He whispered in your mouth as the curled haired boy started to take his cock deeper into his own mouth, making sure of getting it sloppy the way you had done all those times he watched from the stalls. Steve ran his fingers through his hair as he looked down to the scene of Eddie taking his big dick into his mouth and feeling the tip of his cock hit the back of his throat. ‘F-fuck, yes.’

Eddie slightly smiled at you from the other side of the bed. You loved how moany Steve could get with blowjobs, whining in agony, turning needy as he let out the sweetest noises. He looked up at you then, brown eyes looking dark and desperate. He let out a breathy laugh at you before squeezing your thigh with one of his hands. ‘Come sit on my mouth, babe.’

‘Keep the skirt on.’ Eddie’s voice made you lift your eyes. His stare dark now, taking in the sight of you: nipples hard, mouth shiny and swollen by their kisses.

You nodded slightly, not breaking the eye contact with him as you moved to open your legs and sit comfortably. You made sure to lift the piece of fabric around your hips a little when you finally sat down on Steve’s perfect tongue. You couldn’t help but bite your lip as you kept your eyes on Eddie when he took Steve back into his mouth, rolling your eyes at the sweet sensation of skin against skin. He loved the way his tongue rubbed against your sensitive clit, his big lips hungry and pussy drunk for you. How you moved your hips slowly, the way you held one of your boobs and Steve’s hard grip around your thighs as he ate you out, making his arms look veiny and strong. There was not one inch of skin in front of Eddie Munson that he wasn’t dying to taste that night.

‘So sweet, fuck.’ Steve said in between licks, ‘Such a perfect pussy.’

His hips had started moving up and down unconsciously, fucking Eddie’s pretty pink mouth repeatedly. You never thought such a sight would turn you on so much, but there was something about Eddie that was so rough and messy as he took Steve in. A thread of saliva falling from one the sides of his mouth, head moving with violent devotion. God, did you want to be fucked. The thought made your eyebrows arch in desperation as your orgasm started to slowly build up from the bottom of your tummy.

‘I’m gonna c-cu–’

‘No, you’re fucking not.’ Said Steve against your cunt, but he resumed his movements right after.

‘I-I’m going to.’

‘Fuck no, you’re not, princess.’ Said Eddie then. You lifted your eyes to find him cleaning his mouth with his sleeve. His ringed hands pulled Steve’s thighs, getting him out from under your legs.

You looked flushed and desperate as you waited for them to do something, anything so you could get what you wanted. Eddie got rid of his clothes as Steve shook his jeans off his ankles, before cupping your face and kissing you hard, your sweet taste on his tongue mixing with the remains of your candy gloss. You whined in disappointment as he kept kissing you, begging to be touched.

‘Steve, please.’

‘What?’ He laughed as if he was completely clueless. You didn’t like being teased, always expecting to get what you wanted without working for it. His hands found the cheeks of your ass when you felt Eddie’s body behind you, emanating a warmth that made you feel so small, but so safe and cozy.

His curls were tickling your back when the tip of his dick started stroking your ass hole. ‘Is this okay?’

His voice was raspy but sweet. You let out a shaky breath but your eyes rolled as your pussy got wetter at the possibility of having both boys inside you. ‘God. Yes.’ You head rested against his shoulder as Steve’s mouth left love bites on your neck. ‘Yes, it’s fucking perfect. Steve, t-tell me you’ve got lube.’

‘I do.’ He said lips brushing against your skin, enjoying how desperate you grew every second you didn’t have a dick inside you. ‘Baby wanna be fucked in the ass, huh?’

‘Steve.’

His face came out of your neck to find your needy, demanding eyes. His pupils were dark, moving to your lips as he spoke. ‘Tell Eddie.’

You frowned at his words as he kneeled in front of you, hands still on your hips, looking down at you and taking in the beautiful image of your curves. ‘Tell Eddie you want him to fuck you in the ass.’

You rolled your eyes half annoyed, half turned on at his authority. The soft stroke of Eddie’s laugh against your cheek made it much worse. Steve sweetly smacked your butt cheek at your lack of words. ‘C’mon. Say it.’

But you took your time, head turning slowly to your side. Your eyes lingered on Eddie’s mouth and then on his eyes for a few seconds before you let out a soft moan. ‘Hmm.’ Your nose stroked his and he almost started searching for your mouth when you whispered against his lips. ‘Want your cock in my ass, baby. Please.’

Eddie let out a sweet laugh, the shyness he showed downstairs had disappeared completely, instead you had found a devotion as overwhelming as Steve’s.

‘You always ask so nicely, don’t you?’ He whispered against your lips.

It took a few minutes of playing with your body to get you to relax. Steve stroked your clit with his fingers while Eddie kept teasing your tiny hole with a finger wet with warm lube. There was no distance between your bodies as your back still rested against Eddie’s and your hand stroked the hairs of Steve’s chest lazily.

‘Thought so much ‘bout this you know,’ Eddie whispered on your ear as his dick teased you once again. You could feel your body ceding as he pushed lightly inside you. You looked up at him with those angelic eyes he’d grown to love the last few months, Steve’s pretty mouth ghosting above your cheekbone as your nails left half moons marks on his arm whenever Eddie pushed deeper.

‘Fuck.’ You moaned. ‘I need you. P-please. I need to feel both of you.’

Steve was done teasing you, too turned on to say no to you. You saw the ways his eyes shut and his mouth opened in pleasure when his dick came in contact with the inner walls of your cunt, feeling Eddie’s erected cock on the other side of your body. A loud growl came out his chest at the overwhelming sensation.

You were gone. All you could feel was how you full you were, how cared for you felt as one of Eddie’s hands grabbed at your hip firmly and he fucked you slowly and deeply, taking his own time.

Steve’s movements were a bit faster, desperate with need as his eyes got lost in your beautiful body, boobs moving rhythmically with the pace of his hips as he went in and out of you.

‘Shit.’ You heard him say as your eyes lingered absently on the tiny drops of sweat adorning his crown. ‘Come here, Munson. Fuck.’

Steve grabbed Eddie’s hand over your shoulder and took two of his fingers into his mouth as his speed inside you increased. Your blurry eyes got lost in his beautiful, flushed face: eyebrows arched in pleasure but eyes dark with desire as he kept fucking you. Eddie couldn’t help but moan at the feeling of Steve’s warm wet tongue before he took the big hand out of his mouth, a thread of saliva hanging in between you two, and guided it towards your centre.

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes and arch your back at the overstimulation. There was no inch of your skin that wasn’t burning, no curve that wasn’t worshipped, no stare that wasn’t met with overflowing adoration. No part of your body that wasn’t being loved by the two boys.

‘Come on, baby.’ You could hear Eddie’s voice in the distance as his hand touched the sensitive nerves of your clit and his dick kept stretching out your ass hole. ‘You can cum now, you can let go. It’s okay.’

You could only reply with moans, high-pitched needy sounds that made them move closer to you, crushing you in between them. Your back against Eddie’s chest, boobs pressed against Steve. Something hot wet your face, you were fucking crying at how good it all felt.

Steve cupped your face with one of his hands then, lost in the way your lips opened slightly, eyes absent and body focused in just feeling. His head found a comfortable place on your neck as your grip on his arm got even tighter and you felt the walls of your cunt and ass contract before your body exploded in pleasure.

‘Fuck, baby.’ Said Steve on your neck. ‘Look at you. Fuck, fuck, fuck.’

Something hot and sticky fell from your thighs. Eddie’s lips left a wet kiss on your shoulder as your convulsions became less intense, you could feel his hard breaths while he kept hugging you from behind. ‘You did so well, princess. So well.’ 

You stayed there, crushed in between their bodies for a few minutes, or maybe hours. Eddie was still stroking the skin next to your belly button when you felt the weight of Steve’s body lift. The sound of water in the distance. Crickets outside or maybe the birds waking up.

‘Let’s go clean you up, babe.’ Said Eddie, leaving a sweet kiss on your temple.

You opened your eyes to find him smiling at you, eyes full of tenderness. A tickling touch made you lift your eyes to the end of the bed, where Steve’s stood up, sweet smile, tired eyes and hair messy while his fingers wrapped around your ankle.

‘Come on, pretty girl. You can take a nap later.’

You let out a silly giggle. This was absurd.