text 📲 lilah
LIL: Even if you don't, you know I think you're the best little brother in the world, right?
MARK: I'm your only little brother
MARK: you /have/ to say that
MARK: But I want you to be happy, Li
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text 📲 lilah
LIL: Even if you don't, you know I think you're the best little brother in the world, right?
MARK: I'm your only little brother
MARK: you /have/ to say that
MARK: But I want you to be happy, Li

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text 📲 mermaid 🐠
Niamh: You're the best guinea pig I've got 'cause you're totally honest. If somethin's shit, you don't pretend it's good. I love that about you.
Niamh: I've never cared for blowjobs. Givin' them feels weird. Like... I don't know what I'm doing?
MARK: that's cause I don't want someone to hurt your feelings down the line and end up with a black eye cause they hurt you
MARK: at least with me you know I'm not purposely trying to hurt you
MARK: uh
MARK: it's really just to pleasure the other person? it's weird
text 📲 lilah
LIL: It doesn't have to be this quick.
LIL: Take your time and we'll figure it out.
LIL: And if I'm un-matchmakable... that's okay too.
MARK: you're not unmatachable li.
MARK: I'll find you someone.
MARK: I swear on it.
text 📲 mermaid 🐠
NIAMH: I mean... I've SEEN gay nuts, but I didn't exactly try them.
NIAMH: How do these conversations happen between us, Onion?
NIAMH: I've been wantin' to try my hand at making them. You wanna be a guinea pig for another Niamh Reed Kitchen Adventure?
MARK: still salty
MARK: I mean don't ask me I have no idea
MARK: YES PLEASE
MARK: those always excite me
text 📲 lilah
LIL: However soon you come up with someone, I guess? I'll probably catch Sky again tomorrow, ask him if he's game.
LIL: He better be. My bro's a helluva catch.
MARK: oh okay
MARK: wow I was not expecting this to happen this quickly
MARK: I'll get to thinking

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text 📲 mermaid 🐠
Niamh: Gay nuts don't sound different from bisexual ones.
Niamh: Those being the only kind of nuts I've tried.
Niamh: Sounds like... you know the rainbow bagel? Have you heard of it? It's supposed to tasty like fruity cereal.
MARK: I suppose they're really not
MARK: I don't know, I'm not completely gay
MARK: I haven't
MARK: I didn't know those were a thing
MARK: I need to try it asap
text 📲 lilah
LIL: So how soon do you think this set-up should be?
MARK: uh
MARK: how soon do you want it to be?
text 📲 mermaid 🐠
Niamh: Hit me with both of 'em.
MARK: well, the other version is kinda
MARK: salty
MARK: but gay nuts in the donut sense would probably taste like rainbows
text 📲 lilah
LIL: The Powers That Be don't seem to think so.
LIL: Whoever's writing this tv show is moments away from killing off the lesbian. I just know it.
MARK: okay well don't talk like that
MARK: you'll find happiness, li
text 📲 lilah
LIL: Good. I'm setting this up then.
LIL: Making this happen and all that.
LIL: I don't know what I deserve.
MARK: ...happiness, Li.
MARK: you deserve happiness

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text 📲 mermaid 🐠
Niamh: What would gay nuts taste like?
MARK: uh
MARK: do you want the confectionate answer or the other one?
text 📲 lilah
LIL: Cute, right?
LIL: And we've talked enough that I feel like I can make this thing happen for you.
LIL: Maybe you two should go on a blind date and I should stay home and listen to my roommate have sex with his husband.
MARK: /very/
MARK: like wow
MARK: holy cow
MARK: no no
MARK: you deserve someone really cute too
text 📲 mermaid 🐠
Niamh: GAYKIES
Niamh: GAYCAKES
Niamh: DOGAYS
Niamh: Or would that be GAYNUTS
MARK: GAYNUTS
MARK: IT WORKS
MARK: BECAUSE
MARK: GAY NUTS
text 📲 lilah
[Ten minutes later]
LIL: I went a'Insta-stalking. FOR YOU.
LIL: Sky with a dog: https://78.media.tumblr.com/263e20bbd70edc1bf3d618267f02413d/tumblr_pd2f30owbh1vymfc4o2_540.png
LIL: Sky with some ice cream: https://78.media.tumblr.com/9b56b7fd40df98b75e295a2a2c6666ef/tumblr_pd2f30owbh1vymfc4o3_540.png
LIL: Sky with... I don't know. Some kind of weird elephant statue? https://78.media.tumblr.com/d426b54a3f6618c19cadce5820f9dd00/tumblr_pd2f30owbh1vymfc4o1_540.jpg
LIL: The boy is real.
MARK: oh heaven almighty....
MARK: I'm gonna have to find you a serious babe
MARK: I swear
text 📲 mermaid 🐠
Niamh: Blech.
Niamh: Not the sisters thing, but boyfriends, girlfriends? My track record's for shit, Onion.
Niamh: Though I do like the idea of producing some queer as fuck cookies for the conservatives of Ohio to shake their heads at.
Niamh: Okay nevermind... I'm doing those too. :P
MARK: oh come on, it'd be cute
MARK: YES
MARK: GAY COOKIES
MARK: GAYKIES

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text 📲 lilah
LIL: I've seen him signing at the pool. Proper signing, not that bullshit where people hope they can get by on two or three letters and making things up.
LIL: HE'S REAL AND HE'S CUTE. I SWEAR!
LIL: His name's... something slightly hippy-dippy.
LIL: Sky. It's Sky.
MARK: And you're /positive/ he's real?
MARK: that you didn't hit your head or something?
text 📲 mermaid 🐠
Niamh: Speeeeaking of cupcakes.
Niamh: I'm workin' on new designs.
Niamh: Like stuff I can make for Pi Day and May The Fourth and Talk Like A Pirate Day. Cupcakes and cookies... nerdy stuff. Wanna help brainstorm?
MARK: yes please
MARK: I love coming up with ideas for that
MARK: and there can be national girlfriend day, and national boyfriend day, and national sisters day...