maria

if u ever see me zoned out i'm listening to the deafening frequency of a nearby electrical device

attaching something to an email is so scary. what if i accidentally put hard-core porn in there. i don't think i have any downloaded but what if i do and i attached it to the email. what then.

dude star wars is so good and/or bad and/or mediocre sometimes, depending

at the start of every month everyone reblogs some insane poetry that’s like “august has arrived and again I swallow my bones in the burning sun” and every time I’m like damn that makes no sense. but kind of true.

omg guys happy bone swallowing august

You join a new fandom and you become acquainted with a new flavor of moron you didn’t even know god could make

“It looks like you have your adblocker on :(” it looks like you can suck both my balls from the back

“Hear me out” and it’s the most conventionally attractive alien father figure you’ve ever seen

honey he has a fish for a head

So what, all of a sudden mermaids aren't hot?

I’m not saying it’s wrong to take care of yourself but when I see posts praising old women for having good skin and no wrinkles because they never sunbathed or smiled or ate sugar it makes me sad. what’s the point? I think if you get to 80 and you have lots of wrinkles and you’re a bit fat it’s a sign of a life well lived