MANNEQUIN DEPRESSED

Ghoulia’s current situation inexplicably reminded her of her old commute on the L train.

Sadly, from the literal moment that Yarmouth donned his homemade mascot costume, ChickenStop business plummeted and children’s nightmares skyrocketed.

For a while, the ranking system was clear. But then...”Helen” arrived.

As Foreva reached the file cabinet, she couldn’t shake the sudden suspicion that she had somehow misinterpreted “Casual Friday.”

Postage loved three things: Sunrises, windbreakers and unauthorized Loony Tunes merchandise.

Pariah did not play the banjo, so her vaudeville act mostly consisted of her presenting the instrument proudly as though it were a baby or a prize ham. Fearing for her sanity, audiences would applaud until she left the stage.

Through the magic of layered scarves, Wrhonda could hide the results of her grisly accident but she dreaded the arrival of warm weather.

People admired what they perceived to be Veileen's shabby chic style but in reality she'd just been "Freaky-Friday'd" with a frumpy old Grandpa.

In a moment of horror, Hester realized she could never leave her Holiday-Themed Girl Group "Joy to the Girl'd" because then she'd just be another creditless alto elf wearing a dress that says "Ho."

"Do we seem brutally intimidating and disinterested ?" Lund and Prelsey asked themselves, "Because we'd also like to seem rich."

Sales plummeted at the "GarDenim of Edenim" once new hire Braidleigh started winking hauntingly at prospective customers.

After Heyther's fifth cup of coffee she still felt tired and had also developed 2nd degree burns along the perimeter of her scalp.

Nothing could stop the Frambouche sisters from enjoying swimwear season, not even the grisly industrial accident they suffered at the pencil sharpener factory.

Some believed LaBorgia's ailment was the result of a curse, or proof of the divine. But only she knew the truth: she'd just binge-watched the microwave for 13 hours.

Grinslee subscribed to Coco Chanel's fashion rule "Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and take one thing off...then haphazardly pile on a whole bunch of other shit."

Qelsey managed to blend in with the party guests until she declared herself a potential fire hazard and demanded a bowl of water to stand in

Vrank and Djason's brand of intimacy was singular, vulnerable and viscerally upsetting to witness.