amanda noelle

1. Fill your apartment with books. Buy so many books that you can’t afford furniture. Start using your Shakespeare textbook as a stool, doorstop, and/or step-ladder.

2. Cover your windows with an exorbitant amount of drapery and light your apartment with candles and/or a vintage desk lamp.

3. Buy a rotary phone, stop replying to text messages, and insist that your friends either call you on your land line or send a letter.

4. In the event that a friend sends you a letter, fill your desk drawers with stationary so that you can send back a reply that spans three sheets of card-stock paper, heavy enough to require two postage stamps, because it’s all written in calligraphy.