Sexuality/gender: Bi, Omni, Aceflux, Demi/ Cis girl, though I donāt really have that big of a connection to my gender so ehh
Pronouns: She/They
This page will be my main account for posting random stuff about my life, activities, crafts, things I like and little/agere stuff!
I will post things like vents and share my thoughts about various subjects, my vents will be under cuts but not everything will have warnings (I will be keeping things as SFW as I can though) this is a heads up to everyone who views my blog!
My dms are open! And Iād love to talk to and meet new people, just keep in mind Iām a bit awkward cause I have anxiety and autismļ¼ļ¼^Ļ^ļ¼
Links/Masterlist!
Mood boards!
Discord Server + News!
Art Trades!
Other art! (Coming soon)
Side blog for vent posts (DNI if you know me irl)
* will add more and update regularly!!*
I will block any people who send me NFSW dms, this is an SFW blog!!
Now onto introducing Bug!!!
My wonderful friend Blaze (@blazedrawsuvu) had worked with me to design and make bug, I love them so much I almost cried when they were finished(Ėā½Ė;)
Bug is inspired by a lot of the things I love and make me happy as a little and throughout my childhood:
Lucky charms! Soft blankets! Plushies! Frilly dresses! Dinosaurs! Pretty bright colors! Rattling toys/fidgets/accessories!! Play-places! And the most special bit, my childhood comfort blanket!!
This post is also my first scrapbook style mood board and I think itās fitting that itās something so special to me, most of the images used were references during the design process and were found on Pinterest. I used Canva for getting everything put together, which was tons of fun!!
Please donāt use any of the photos in this mood board as some are ones I personally took and put into this. And of course donāt steal bug!!
You can however take inspiration, comment or dm me about bug if youād like!
Blazeās accounts will be at the bottom if you like their work, wanna give them a follow or ask about coms!!
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carer that knows their baby struggles with feeling so guilty about being small so theyre sooo so sweet and patient... reminding their baby that they want to take care of them and that its okay to cry, that no theyre not a burden or a bother :(
carer who can tell when their baby is trying so hard to push down their headspace... softly bringing them into it with coos and kisses and reminding them of how cute and small they r .... ofufhhrhgg
I feel like at this point I might just make a side blog for my vents because wow I have a lot of stuff that I need to vent about and canāt do so in my normal places because the people involved are there (close friends and whatnot) idk these instances are making me realize how little places/ people I can talk to that are separate from my close friends, which is good in some cases but not theses ones unfortunatelyā¦ luckily I have here I guess..
I just wanna be smol, and rocked to sleep while being read bedtime stories.. I wanna cuddle and steal warmth an headbutt like kitty or be a burrito.. ya burrito blanket burrito pls
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We love you age regressors whose regression isn't "pretty" or "aesthetic."
Whose regression looks like long nights crying and squeezing a stuffie because you feel so very small and the world feels so very big.
Whose regression looks like using pacifiers to avoid biting your nails or worse.
Whose regression looks like laying in bed watching cartoons because your disability prevents you from doing much else.
Whose regression looks like longing for a childhood you never got to have, and feeling like you're drowning in nostalgia for a time of your life that never truly existed.
We hear you, and we see you. Age regression isn't always bubble baths and playing with stuffies and happy vibes. Sometimes it's sad, and sometimes it's grieving a childhood that was taken from you. It's okay if your age regression isn't pretty or doesn't look like the cutesy photos you see on Instagram. Your age regression is uniquely yours and looks like whatever you need it to be. Let yourself feel sad if you need to feel sad. Let yourself grieve if you need to grieve. It's all part of the healing process.
Iām kinda irritated with a friends behaviorā¦ rant bellow ā¤µļø
So my friend has a thing where they struggle to understand the connotation (emotional meaning) of some words and typically only uses the literal meaning. They are capable of understanding jokes, sarcasm and the implications of wording but still struggles to use kind words when speaking to me. I have tried giving them understanding and grace as I know they can and do struggle with this at certain points but lately itās been feeling like a reason to be unkind to me and itās irritating and hurtful. Another friend (different one) has noticed the way Iāve been treated by friend #1 and has gone out of their way to say āletās be nice to bug please.ā Whenever I get teased or judged a little too harshly and Iām really appreciative of it but it shouldnāt have to happen in the first place. I donāt under why I am treated poorly and with less respect compared to other people my friend interacts with but I see it and others see it. Itās even more frustrating as I used to date this person, we had an almost 5 yr long relationship and have know each other for almost 8 yrs. What happened? Was it always like this? And if they ever actually loved me then why am I being treated like this?
Iām just really frustrated and hurt, navigating this is hard and I do still see them as a friend but they need to work on how they treat me and maybe dig into why I am treated differently, I know I could be doing some things wrong but I wonāt know unless they talk to me about it. Iām just tired of being treated poorly.
This whole rant was sparked by them saying Iād force them to āmake them sit through a 10 minute unstoppable cutscene talking about this.ā This - being an issue we had earlier and my āunskipable cutsceneā being me needing to discuss what happened and ya know talk about an issue? Why is that a bad thing? And why is that so much to ask for, I simply want to communicate yet thatās being treated as too much to ask for.
Iām done with being treated like ātoo muchā for anyone.
Goes with my previous two vents, feels like one thing after another recently
I tried to talk to my roommates about the thing that happened on Motherās Day and a thing that happened today.
It didnāt go well and it doesnāt feel like they understand what I am feeling at all and that they think Iām just dragging it out for now reason and should be able to get over it. I am allowed to feel how I want to and need to feel about a situation, my feeling are not invalid and Iām tired of being treated like they are. I want to be heard and understood and just met with some compassion and I donāt understand how thatās such a hard thing to provide.
Im grateful for the other two friends whoāve reached out to me and have been there for me while dealing with this along with my papa, but I am hurt because my main support system feels against me in this moment.
I donāt feel like Iām understood or belong anymore..
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For context I live with my roommates and their family, two roommates and their parents, Iām like the adopted child (nobody is blood related to me but they are my found family)
So my day started off bad, I had slept past my alarms and felt like I disappointed some people because I was going to host a game session, luckily they were understanding but I still felt bad. And at that point I was debating on going out with my family to still celebrate as I didnāt want to ruin the mood because I was already upset. I decide to go with anyways as I donāt want to get left alone and I wanted to be there for our mom.
So, I get breakfast and get ready to leave because we were planning to go out for Motherās Day, I ask to bring the wheelchair/get a rental as I have pain flair ups more often when Iām in a poor mood (idk why), but it felt like I had to fight to get that and it was frustrating, I just kept getting told to switch with our mom (sheās disabled too) instead of just renting one and it was frustrating, eventually itās worked out and we leave
We were planning on visiting a garden but unfortunately it was packed and we proceeded to drive around trying to figure out what to do, we end up going to downtown
Get the wheelchair out and set up, Iāve got my cane on top of me (like a seatbelt as suggested by my friend who uses a wheelchair as needed as well), the cane kept moving around making it hard to self propel so I secured it
We end up at an ice cream shop as we were looking for my sister (I saw her location and knew she was around and wanted to surprise her by just showing up) unfortunately because of the cane I canāt fit through the door and my roommate is pushing me, he stops me in-front of the door and gets mad at me for securing the canes because itāll take a bit to remove them (not even a minute if he was patient), I get frustrated and stressed because now Iām blocked the door to the shop and have to move myself out of the way. I park and get the cane off while my roommate is still asking me why I tired it down, I explained it was so I could actually maneuver and he gets frustrated because the rest of our group is walking away awhile Iām situating myself.
We eventually catch up and I inform them that my sister is somewhere else (tracking her with life 360 it updates slow) and we head to the other shop.
We get there and I text her cause it looked like she moved again and unfortunately she left downtown by the time I had messaged her.. kinda sucked but it wasnāt that upsetting.
At this point Iām already a bit upset though from the door thing, and now weāre at my favorite candy shop.. this should make me feel better right?? Nope
Instead I find out the isles are too small for me to get around in the wheelchair and Iām left alone. I get myself off to the side and just sit there for a bit until Iām too uncomfortable from getting stared at and go outside and wait for everyone to be done.
I try just calming down by playing random mobile games and write a vent in a server with some friends. Eventually our parents get outside and sit next to me to smoke, they ask if Iām ok cause at that point I was almost crying. I blink the tears away and say Iām good and just go back to my games. I didnāt want to worsen the mood and ruin Motherās Day so I kept it to myself.
I was really disappointed and just hurt that I didnāt get to enjoy my favorite shop, didnāt get to buy anything or explore.. just got left behind to sit outside.
The other two people in our group come outside and of course they purchased things.. but that just makes me feel worse. Iām not mad they got things for themselves just a bit hurt and jealous I couldnāt and they didnāt ask if Iād like anything either knowing I was sitting outside because I couldnāt move around inside.
We leave because our mom is exhausted and used too much energy, and at that point Iām pretty ready to leave too. Our dad gets the car pulled around before he arrives my roommate pretty much demands I get up so the wheelchair can get folded, even though itās take a bit for our dad to get there. I do get up and get my cane put pack together after my roommate almost messes it up being too forceful with it (I took it apart to make it fit without getting in the way instead of tying it).
Weāre now in the car and try finding something else to do eventually we land on going to our momās favorite restaurant, at this point Iām non verbal and speaking with my notes app, headphones on too because everything was just too much at that point. Even asked to switch seats being in the middle was too much.
We get to the restaurant and of course itās packed.. just like everything else today. Itās a 40 minute wait and we decide to wait and eat. Our mom asks if Iād like to just go home and I respond with āIām fine and donāt mind eating hereā. I wanted to still try spending the day together and knew if I went home at that point Iād just get depressed because they were doing things without me and Iād feel left behind again.
Our mom gets frustrated (Iām not entirely sure) and asks our other roommate to talk to her outside the car. At this point I feel like I messed up by just being upset, Iāve been trying not to show that I was upset all day and just go with things but I guess I was ruining the day anyways.
We eventually get inside and have our food, after my roommates are done they leave to go to a five below. I canāt go with because Iām not done eating but I ask where it is and donāt get clear instructions so now I canāt join them..
We get outside after everyone is done with their food and I sit in the car to just try to relax after everything today. We go and grab my roommates from five below and again they got something for themselves.. blind bags and I express that I felt sad I didnāt get to go and Iām told weāll go another dayā¦ that response just makes me feel dismissed
We get home and I almost immediately go to my room because Iām just done with today. I try to socialize with my roommates again but express I donāt want to play a game (just not in the mood and donāt have the energy) and I apologize for being upset today and they just kinda dismiss my feelings again. So I get frustrated and leave. I pretty much tore into my cheese stick I had gotten for a snack and have to throw it away because now I canāt eat it.
Our parents are in the kitchen and our mom asks whatās wrong I wave it off as Iām still non-verbal and canāt explain as I didnāt have my phone so I text her a brief message when I get back into my room. And she pretty much tells me that my mood did indeed mess things up.. I had been trying all day to keep it to myself and go with everything, to be fine with everything yet I still ruined it because I couldnāt fake being happy.
At this point I leave the house and go to the park because I couldnāt handle being there anymore. I just felt like a total disappointment and like everything I had been feeling was wrong, like I shouldāve just stayed home instead of try to celebrate with them. I get beach home a little while go and talk to my roommates. Let them know I was out and pretty much nobody noticed I left, and likely wouldnāt have noticed because we already had an early dinner at the restaurant.
I explain how Iāve just been having a hard time today and seek comfort, I vented about how I didnāt get how our mom was upset with me for somehow ruining the mood even though I was doing my best to not be a downer. And the response I get is āhonestly I can see her side and maybe you should have just stayed home today.ā (Wasnāt the full thing but that was the gist) and I just get and leave to go back to my roomā¦
And here we are me writing about my crappy day on the internet because idk what else Iām supposed to do, I canāt get comfort from my friends and everything Iāve tried has just made me feel numb. I donāt understand what went wrong and I feel so bad for making our momās day bad but I donāt get how I messed up.. I tried my best and it doesnāt feel like enough.
My friends are hosting a group game and I canāt play because itās lagging too much, which is weird as I have a gaming laptop. I asked for help and pretty much got told to figure it out myself. I tried restarting the game and my laptop but then I couldnāt even find the lobby to join them again. So I asked my roommate for help again and he says he canāt do anything and that I can just sit in his room and watch.. which means I have to sit out again for reasons I canāt control. I genuinely hate this, I asked for help multiple times and got nothing and now Iām just sad in my room knowing my friends are having fun without me and I canāt join
i donāt think itās fair that your roommates dismissed u like that, u deserve so much better
i wish everyone had been more patient and understanding, empathetic towards u
if it were me i would have deeply apologized that u had to sit out like that and i would have gotten u something
i hope youāre doing okay we care about u so much <3
Aww thank you for that, Iām doing a lot better now and I talked to them
I wish that they had reacted like that instead but I know they have different perspectives on the situation I guess. Idk it was just a rough day and things werenāt going well for everyone there
But I really appreciate you saying that, it really helps and makes me feel so loved š„¹
I was honestly a bit nervous to post a vent, I guess I just didnāt want to drag it out or for my roommate to look at it and get upset (I talked to the about it a bit ago but ye). But I feel like this community is pretty understanding, supportive and empathetic and I guess I forgot that, thank you tons for the kind words they really do help
For context I live with my roommates and their family, two roommates and their parents, Iām like the adopted child (nobody is blood related to me but they are my found family)
So my day started off bad, I had slept past my alarms and felt like I disappointed some people because I was going to host a game session, luckily they were understanding but I still felt bad. And at that point I was debating on going out with my family to still celebrate as I didnāt want to ruin the mood because I was already upset. I decide to go with anyways as I donāt want to get left alone and I wanted to be there for our mom.
So, I get breakfast and get ready to leave because we were planning to go out for Motherās Day, I ask to bring the wheelchair/get a rental as I have pain flair ups more often when Iām in a poor mood (idk why), but it felt like I had to fight to get that and it was frustrating, I just kept getting told to switch with our mom (sheās disabled too) instead of just renting one and it was frustrating, eventually itās worked out and we leave
We were planning on visiting a garden but unfortunately it was packed and we proceeded to drive around trying to figure out what to do, we end up going to downtown
Get the wheelchair out and set up, Iāve got my cane on top of me (like a seatbelt as suggested by my friend who uses a wheelchair as needed as well), the cane kept moving around making it hard to self propel so I secured it
We end up at an ice cream shop as we were looking for my sister (I saw her location and knew she was around and wanted to surprise her by just showing up) unfortunately because of the cane I canāt fit through the door and my roommate is pushing me, he stops me in-front of the door and gets mad at me for securing the canes because itāll take a bit to remove them (not even a minute if he was patient), I get frustrated and stressed because now Iām blocked the door to the shop and have to move myself out of the way. I park and get the cane off while my roommate is still asking me why I tired it down, I explained it was so I could actually maneuver and he gets frustrated because the rest of our group is walking away awhile Iām situating myself.
We eventually catch up and I inform them that my sister is somewhere else (tracking her with life 360 it updates slow) and we head to the other shop.
We get there and I text her cause it looked like she moved again and unfortunately she left downtown by the time I had messaged her.. kinda sucked but it wasnāt that upsetting.
At this point Iām already a bit upset though from the door thing, and now weāre at my favorite candy shop.. this should make me feel better right?? Nope
Instead I find out the isles are too small for me to get around in the wheelchair and Iām left alone. I get myself off to the side and just sit there for a bit until Iām too uncomfortable from getting stared at and go outside and wait for everyone to be done.
I try just calming down by playing random mobile games and write a vent in a server with some friends. Eventually our parents get outside and sit next to me to smoke, they ask if Iām ok cause at that point I was almost crying. I blink the tears away and say Iām good and just go back to my games. I didnāt want to worsen the mood and ruin Motherās Day so I kept it to myself.
I was really disappointed and just hurt that I didnāt get to enjoy my favorite shop, didnāt get to buy anything or explore.. just got left behind to sit outside.
The other two people in our group come outside and of course they purchased things.. but that just makes me feel worse. Iām not mad they got things for themselves just a bit hurt and jealous I couldnāt and they didnāt ask if Iād like anything either knowing I was sitting outside because I couldnāt move around inside.
We leave because our mom is exhausted and used too much energy, and at that point Iām pretty ready to leave too. Our dad gets the car pulled around before he arrives my roommate pretty much demands I get up so the wheelchair can get folded, even though itās take a bit for our dad to get there. I do get up and get my cane put pack together after my roommate almost messes it up being too forceful with it (I took it apart to make it fit without getting in the way instead of tying it).
Weāre now in the car and try finding something else to do eventually we land on going to our momās favorite restaurant, at this point Iām non verbal and speaking with my notes app, headphones on too because everything was just too much at that point. Even asked to switch seats being in the middle was too much.
We get to the restaurant and of course itās packed.. just like everything else today. Itās a 40 minute wait and we decide to wait and eat. Our mom asks if Iād like to just go home and I respond with āIām fine and donāt mind eating hereā. I wanted to still try spending the day together and knew if I went home at that point Iād just get depressed because they were doing things without me and Iād feel left behind again.
Our mom gets frustrated (Iām not entirely sure) and asks our other roommate to talk to her outside the car. At this point I feel like I messed up by just being upset, Iāve been trying not to show that I was upset all day and just go with things but I guess I was ruining the day anyways.
We eventually get inside and have our food, after my roommates are done they leave to go to a five below. I canāt go with because Iām not done eating but I ask where it is and donāt get clear instructions so now I canāt join them..
We get outside after everyone is done with their food and I sit in the car to just try to relax after everything today. We go and grab my roommates from five below and again they got something for themselves.. blind bags and I express that I felt sad I didnāt get to go and Iām told weāll go another dayā¦ that response just makes me feel dismissed
We get home and I almost immediately go to my room because Iām just done with today. I try to socialize with my roommates again but express I donāt want to play a game (just not in the mood and donāt have the energy) and I apologize for being upset today and they just kinda dismiss my feelings again. So I get frustrated and leave. I pretty much tore into my cheese stick I had gotten for a snack and have to throw it away because now I canāt eat it.
Our parents are in the kitchen and our mom asks whatās wrong I wave it off as Iām still non-verbal and canāt explain as I didnāt have my phone so I text her a brief message when I get back into my room. And she pretty much tells me that my mood did indeed mess things up.. I had been trying all day to keep it to myself and go with everything, to be fine with everything yet I still ruined it because I couldnāt fake being happy.
At this point I leave the house and go to the park because I couldnāt handle being there anymore. I just felt like a total disappointment and like everything I had been feeling was wrong, like I shouldāve just stayed home instead of try to celebrate with them. I get beach home a little while go and talk to my roommates. Let them know I was out and pretty much nobody noticed I left, and likely wouldnāt have noticed because we already had an early dinner at the restaurant.
I explain how Iāve just been having a hard time today and seek comfort, I vented about how I didnāt get how our mom was upset with me for somehow ruining the mood even though I was doing my best to not be a downer. And the response I get is āhonestly I can see her side and maybe you should have just stayed home today.ā (Wasnāt the full thing but that was the gist) and I just get and leave to go back to my roomā¦
And here we are me writing about my crappy day on the internet because idk what else Iām supposed to do, I canāt get comfort from my friends and everything Iāve tried has just made me feel numb. I donāt understand what went wrong and I feel so bad for making our momās day bad but I donāt get how I messed up.. I tried my best and it doesnāt feel like enough.
Here's the third comic in the Open World AU. I decided it would be more interesting if the cast also had some limited ability to conjure and worldcraft, so I wanted to explore that. This comic is both the longest I've done yet and is the most involved painting-wise. I hope it was worth the wait!
Oh wow, genuinely didnāt expect to have 100 posts already.. doesnāt totally feel like Iāve made that many given most are reblogs, random thoughts or just other non made by me thing lol (^ā^ļ¼)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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āanother spring dw fanart... meet teagan this time! (i'm not sure i like the result, but...)
aaaaand i'm also not sure that rose hips are associated with spring, but this magenta color and the shape i give to her dress reminded me of them!š (and ok, i just really love this plant)
another version, without background!!
ahhh i love this beautiful tea party non-binary lady so much!!!!
Genuinely the prettiest skin in the game, I love how they made it and when I saw the teagen skin I bought it so fastļ¼āā½āļ¼this art is so pretty, really captures the vibes sheās giving and I enjoy the enbie headcanon for teagen too, I feel like I could stare at this art for hours and keep finding more details you truly do such a good job
