honestly who even knows

he definitely fucks but there’s no way he fucks normal

A PORN BOT UNFOLLOWED ME?

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!

just received the best text message I’ve ever had. from my mom

@teaboot

Painted with a FUCKING PALETTE KNIFE?

just bought the flaming raging poisoning sword of doom at Claire’s

Context for anyone who is wondering: Lamine Yamal's parents won an UNICEF raffle for a charity photoshoot in which Barça players posed with kids, and 5 month old Lamine happened to get 20yo Messi. Which is like. Literally insane

It's not lost on me that Dol-makjar is a historically orcish city and yet has a governing body consisting entirely of humans. How the hallowed round, the very site of so much orcish suffering, is mearly on a lease to Hal from the sundered houses, trying to corrupt and shape the stories they share there.

vampires are so full of shit. "oh the human race is beneath us, you're just livestock to us" I don't think you know what livestock is. do you feed us? care for us? protect us from predators? no. you just slink around dark alleys and ambush people. that's not what a higher being does. that's a bottom feeder. a parasite. karate punches your head off

She Would Say That. She would DO that.

it is still so funny that the party composition of the schemers table is just 18 charisma, 18 charisma, 18 charisma, murray doing her goddamn best

And Murray doing her goddamn best is always SO CLUTCH!!!

the mexican football team has a 17 yrs old player and one of the funniest outcomes of this is that he cannot appear in any ad for gambling or drinking so he only appears in candy and milk advertisements. his first world cup and he's not even legally allowed to drive. his nickname is "morita" (little berry). he's three apples tall.

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

thy mother

Art thou for fucking real