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xo
Mike Driver
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@makestatements
NEW WEBSITE!
Hi! If you stumbled upon my blog from a different URL - PLEASE go over to www.make-statements.com to continue following along!
xo

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weekly wears
Happy Monday :)
Hope everyone had a great weekend. We had one of the best! Spent it with friends and our girls - can’t ask for anything better. Here is a highlight and a fun new idea I’m working on! :)
[Eating at Skyline as least 1/week these days....]
[And this one is ALWAYS a ticking time bomb]
[I think it is so funny the way she sleeps at Miss Emily’s....]
[My shadow]
[Our really fun and creative friends hosted a St Paddle’s party in honor of St Patrick’s day! Great idea and such a fun night.]
[Lover of breakfast....]
[And we were SO lucky to get front row tickets to the circus this weekend! One of my close friends asked us to go with her family and I was SO excited! For Bea but also because it is the last circus and I really debated getting tickets! We used SaferSit for Poppy and went just the 3 of us and we ALL were mesmerized! AND we never hang JUST with Bea so that was special too :) ]
[Fell asleep on the way there :) ]
[And normally we do Sunday night dinner but I had everyone over for Sunday morning breakfast this week instead! SO fun having the kids play together and run around - they LOVE spending time together :) ]
[So I thought of a new idea that I need to noodle over further and see if it’s even possible to scale and service a bigger group of patients. There is a little girl that I don’t personally know ( but know through a coworker and friend) who has spent a lot of time at Cincinnati Children’s and will continue to for awhile. When I was there with Bea, they put the kids in these hospital gowns during their stay and, to me, they just don’t feel bright and happy. Probably because they’ve been worn by so many other patients, etc.
SO - I thought about what I could do for the family to brighten this little 7 year old’s spirits AND her parent’s spirits.
Project #lookgoodfeelgood
I picked out some fabric that is bright, fun, and meaningful to her (from what I know). She has a dog at home so I incorporated some fabric that will make her think of him! Alterations by Toni (who altered my wedding dress and did a great job!) is going to have her team make this fabric into bright and cheery hospital gowns. Hopefully it’ll make the little girl feel good being in something that is her own and pink and bright and it will hopefully make the parents feel good to see her in something that is a little more fun than the average hospital gown that is provided. A little less “hospital-y”.
Bea and I had matching hospital gowns made out of fabric I picked and while I can’t speak for her, it made me feel good heading into surgery with what felt like my own bright clothing. It made me feel good that I felt like I looked good :)
So, as I work some things out and dig deeper on options, I will update you all. I would love to do this for a 1-2 families/month and eventually grow it further. Even possibly partner with a local dry cleaner to pick them up once a week and launder them so they don’t get lost in the shuffle of the laundry at Cincinnati Childrens Hospital.
Any ideas, suggestions, etc - are WELCOME!
[Picture taken the day before our surgery!]
xo
Hillary
2 years
Two years ago today Bea underwent her first major surgery - the Kasai surgery.
This 8 hour procedure was the only way to truly know if Bea, in fact, had Biliary Atresia. There were indicators through blood work, tissue samples, liver biopsy, etc but the only real way to know if someone has BA is to open them up and look in their belly.
And that’s what they did.
At just 10 weeks old, Bea went into surgery on March 13, 2015 at 7:30am. It was her 5th day at the hospital when just a few days prior we were sent in for weird lab numbers and there we were, getting ready to have our baby cut side to side to figure out what was truly going on.
We baptized her the night before in her hospital room upon the suggestion from my Dad. I had a really emotional conversation with him about how if something were to happen to her, we wanted God there ready with open arms. I’ll never forget leaving the hospital for an hour to run home, shower, put on decent clothing and stop into Castle House to get a baptism gown. I walked in and could barely see I was crying to hard. They were beyond kind, helped me pick something and we were on our way back.
There were only allowed 4 people in her hospital room at a time so it was Jordan, me, Father Ed, and Jordan’s brother flew in from Denver. My younger sister (who is Bea’s Godmother) was with her 6th grade class coming back on a bus from DC and we didn’t have the heart to tell her what was going on until she arrived the next morning.
We baptized her and had a quick meeting with the doctor who was going to preform the surgery. She walked in, sat down and said, “Hi...my name is Maria Alonso and I will be performing the Kasai surgery along with Dr Myron. And....I think we are neighbors.”
Dr Maria Alonso is the Surgical Director for Liver Transplants. We had moved into our house just a year before. And she lives like 5 houses down the street from us. Not only was she the most qualified person to be performing this surgery, she was kind, thoughtful, and just a badass. There is no better way to describe this woman than just a total badass. And the best part is? I don’t think she knows it :)
So we slept well that night knowing Bea was in the best hands possible. We woke up early and after we got her prepped and wheeled her back, they escorted us and our families to the waiting room where they gave us an update every hour. The first call we got was to tell us that yes, Bea had Biliary Atresia and they were going to move forward with reworking her plumbing to help drain the bile (prolonging a transplant).
When they called to confirm she had BA we both just looked at each other and cried. Although we both knew that she likely had it, at your most desperate moment you still hang on to a sliver of hope that this was all a mistake. Maybe a mix up. You hope that they open her up and say “ah - everything looks great.”
Sounds crazy but our hearts were just so heavy when they confirmed.
After 8+ hours, she was out of surgery and we spent the next 7-10 days (it’s blurry) in the hospital before sending us home. Those 7-10 days we held onto the hope that Bea’s Kasai worked and her bile would drain. As we all know - it wasn’t a success and we landed back in the hospital just 10 days after being home to start the road to transplant.
Although the Kasai wasn’t a success, I think it was for the better. Sounds crazy, right? But if the Kasai worked, every year I would be wondering “is this the year Bea is going to need her transplant?” The wondering and the anxiety associated would just be too much.
I think the Kasai surgery prepared her for the bigger surgery she would have just a few months later. We learned a lot about her pain tolerance, how her body reacts to different medications, we become comfortable with the hospital, it’s resources, etc. AND we now had a neighbor we knew was in our corner.
It prepared us for the transplant and for that - we are grateful.
2 years later......
“One day she finally grasped that unexpected things were always going to happen in life. And with that, she realized the only control she had was how she chose to handle them. So, she made the decision to survive using courage, humor and grace. She was the Queen of her own life and the choice was hers.”
#QueenBEA
#LongLIVERtheQueen
#QueenBofourHearts
#BEAstrong
Hillary
the girls
Hi!
I feel like I haven’t done an update on my ladies recently! So, I have a 26 month old and a 4.5 month old. Crazy.
Let’s start with Miss Poppy. Poppy has been a little bit of a challenge. Am I not able to have an easy baby?! She has horrible acid reflux so she splits up constantly (I’m talking projectile) and would constantly cry until recently. Other than that, she is a lover. Looks just like Bea when she was a babe except with bright blue eyes. Ah. So cute. She is rolling over, loving her jumping seat in the doorway, and with her meds - she is a new babe :)
Bea is doing really well! We went in last week for labs and Miss Beazer just sat there and didn’t even cry :) Labs looked fabulous - liver is happier than ever and EBV is the LOWEST it’s ever been. Like WHAT?! Couldn’t even believe it!
Both girls have been battling colds recently but here are some pics as of late!
[Not all days are full of smiles...]
And me?! Just feeling good that both of my girls are back to feeling good :)
need a babysitter?
To all my mom readers out there - our prayers have been answered!
How many of you out there are forever stressed out that your babysitter bench isn’t deep enough?!
I have run into numerous occasions where I just panic because I can’t find anyone to watch the girls.
Thank goodness for Safersit!
SaferSit is the best place to book a babysitter because the girls are pre-screened for you with already established rates! All you have to do is go to SaferSit.com , type in your specifics on when you need someone and SaferSit will match you with the perfect babysitter.
It’s that easy :)
We’ve used it multiple times and have LOVED the girls that come to watch Bea and Poppy. Below is a pic of our fave - Francie - who is a co-founder of SaferSit.
Give it a try!
xo

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triggers
There is no question that the last few years of my life totally turned me upside down. Sometimes everything with Bea seems hazy - like it is hard for me to even believe some of the stuff we went through with her. I was laying in bed last night thinking about how for MONTHS a nurse would come to the house 2 mornings a week to take her blood, look at her central line, weigh her, flush her line, etc. There were a couple of weeks where she was on a feeding tube and I didn’t have the mental capacity to even learn how to operate the machine so I had to completely rely on Jordan. There were conversations between Jordan and I that no parents should even have to discuss about their child.
And with everything that happened with my Dad. Unfortunately, all of that is still crystal clear. I replay that Monday morning when I got the news at work at least once a day in my brain. It paralyzes me and weighs just so heavy on my heart.
I’ve learned that while the thoughts and feelings linger day in and day out, there are certain triggers that catch me off guard.
For instance, every Monday morning driving to work is a trigger for me. Sometimes I have to take a lap around downtown before parking in the lot because I can’t stop crying. I talked to my Dad every morning on my way to work but Monday is especially hard because that was the morning he didn’t answer. Instead, I go a different route and read his prayer card once I park in our lot. Changing things up a little has helped.
Another moment that caught me off guard recently was at Sunday night dinner. I am so happy that we continue that weekly dinner at my parent’s house because it is a time to connect and was my Dad’s favorite part of the week. This past Sunday my mom had family over to celebrate a couple of 60th birthdays. Everyone was enjoying the craziness of a packed house and then I heard the electric knife going in the kitchen.
My Dad was the only one who ever used this knife and he did so when my Mom made pork and sauerkraut - my Dad’s favorite. I immediately turned around and for a split second when I heard the knife going I thought about walking into the kitchen to talk to him. When I saw my mom standing there over the pork using the knife I had a major trigger moment. I turned to Jordan and in so many words told him he needed to go in there and take the knife from my Mom. It wasn’t her job to cut it.
And with Bea, I have been pretty okay as far as triggers. Very recently a coworker of mine has a family member (who is 7) that is struggling at Cincinnati Children’s. Hearing of the news totally hit me out of nowhere. I’ve had a lot of families reach out for advice or just to chat since everything with Bea but nothing has hit me as hard at this little girl. And I’ve never even met her or her family. Having the feelings of almost losing a child never goes away but when it so closely happens to another family it brings the feelings back stronger than ever.
With the hard triggers there are also good ones too. Bring around and hugging other Dads that remind me of mine always makes me feel so good. I have friends with great Dads and a few physically remind me of Dad and some have similar characteristics. Just makes me feel good being around them
And good triggers with Bea happen every day that I am around her. When I went to go look at preschools for her a couple of months ago, I started the tour with the lady there and burst into tears. It was so emotional for me to be talking about preschool for my baby who I didn’t think was going to see her first birthday. Happy trigger.
So - no real point or revelations to share other than keeping things honest. One of my best friends told me that the hard triggers get easier with time. They will still be there but have good memories associated.
I can’t wait until that is true.
Hillary
few of my faves
Hi!
In an effort to get back to posting some fashion-related stuff, below are a few purchases I’ve made recently that I am obsessed with. Like - will not take off my body - obsessed with. :) Enjoy!
1. Club Monaco Fringe Vest. Find it HERE.
2. Anthro top HERE.
3. Anthro top find HERE.
4. Vineyard Vines cardigan HERE.
5. Travel wrap. (Used mine this weekend :)) Find it HERE.
6. Tunic sweater. Find it HERE.
7. J.Crew bow sweater. Find it HERE.
8. Fringe dress - also comes in white. Find HERE.
9. Tassle flats from Nordstrom. Find them HERE.
10. Ann Taylor top MAJORLY on sale. Find it HERE.
11. Ann Taylor top MAJORLY on sale. Find it HERE.
Happy Shopping!
xo
Hillary
happy valentines day
lately...
Okay. I went to dinner Friday night with my sisters and their husbands. When I picked my little sister up she quickly said she had a bone to pick with me.
Uh oh. Never good.
She went on to tell me what since Dad isn’t here - she has to be the one to tell me that I need to get going with the blog. He always offered me a little push when life got busy and she was doing the same.
SO, here I am. And honestly, every time I have tried to write something it has been totally depressing. And I don’t want this to be a place that brings anyone down BUT I also have always said that this blog is me 100%. A totally honest and true place.
I’ve just been having a VERY hard time about Dad the last few weeks. I had my birthday several days ago and the days leading up were a few of the toughest I’ve had. Thinking about getting older without him just destroys me because that’s not what I want. I don’t want to get older without my best friend. Without my Dad.
The day was really really tough but hearing from a couple of my Dad’s friends on my birthday really helped. One of them wrote me the kindest email and talked about “the day Bob left us....”. The term “us” when referencing my Dad leaving made me feel so comforted. Like I wasn’t alone in my missing him.
Another one of his friends dropped off such beautiful flowers with a kind note. He called and left me a voicemail and it just felt like something Dad would do.
And Valentine’s Day. Another hard holiday. Dad always told us girls that no matter what - he would always be our valentine. And he was. Every single year...no matter if we were living at home, or in college, or in another state - we would somehow get a box of chocolates and a card. He never missed it.
Every year after we each got married he would say “now you officially have your valentine so you don’t need me anymore” but every year I would walk out to my car in the morning to head to work and there it was - a box of chocolates and a card. Every single year.
Although the last couple of weeks have been a struggle, I’m feeling a little better. I’ll never feel 100% but I can at least talk (and type) about it without totally breaking down.
And you know what?
Dad would want me to continue. Continue to power through, continue in my positive way, continue to put one foot in front of the other.
And I will because I know that is something I can do to make him proud.
xo
Hillary
weekly wears
Happy Monday :)
We are coming off of a great weekend filled with time with friends and our kids! It still so crazy balancing being back at work and managing everything at home but I have to say that by the time Monday rolls around I am ready to be back at work for a few days. Just being honest over here!
Here are some highlights...
[So tough being 2...]
[As some of you remember, as a party gift from the LIVERversary dinner - everyone left with a canvas and paint set to create their own interpretation of the BEAstrong logo. Below are the results :) ]
[How cute are these mini shep shirts?!]
[And someone had perfect labs! Like PERFECT. In all the times we have had to get labs, I’ve never once looked at the numbers and been like - everything looks great - I hope the doctor agrees! And she did! Although EBV is still lingering - it is half of what it was 4 weeks ago. AND we don’t have to go back for labs for another 6 weeks! AH!]
[Playing doctor at Miss Emily’s!]
[Jordan, the girls, and I went to Joseph Beth Friday night to pick a couple things out before heading to dinner. This book was on display and obviously reminded me of our Toby.....]
[For those of you wondering if we still have a dog :) He just got a bed upgrade....]
[Got to spend Saturday night with one of my oldest and best friends. So nice having a low key eve with those you love most!]
[Bea at 3 months and Poppy at 3 months....skin color difference is crazy!]
xo
Hillary

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man’s best friend.
This afternoon we are putting our family dog down.
We got Toby when I was in high school and working at Mt Lookout Swim Club. I’ll never forget my parents picking me up from MTLSC, bringing me home and surprising my sisters and me at the house with this teeny tiny cute white fluffy puppy.
It was the best. My parent’s knew they wanted to get a puppy for us since we had several rescues throughout our childhood but my Dad’s one contingency was that although white, teeny, and fluffy - it had to be a boy.
He needed an ally in a house full of girls.
And he got one. Thick as thieves with Dad so it’s only fitting that 6 months after everything, his little white companion is joining him.
It’s comforting to know Dad will have a buddy from our family but also weird that another physical connection to Dad is lost. As weird as it sounds, I had a similar feeling when we got rid of his car.
It’s scary to get rid of the physical reminders and have to rely more on your memory. What if you forget? That’s the scariest thought of all.
However - Toby lived a long and happy 15 years of life with a family who loved him. This is best for Toby and - Dad will be pumped to have him :)
weekly wears
Hi!
Below are a few highlights from our week :) Crazy as ever.
[Since I started back to work last week, I took but girl’s to Miss Emily’s on Wednesday. Bea likes Poppy at home but Miss Emily said she wouldn’t stop holding her in front of her other little friends....looks wild haha.]
[We also took Bea to her 2 year check up at the pediatrician and all is great! She is in a super healthy spot right now and she officially caught up on the growth chart. If you remember, there was a time when she was sick that she stopped growing. Scary, right? Well now Miss Bea is 73% for height and 95% for weight! Couldn’t be prouder!]
[First day back at work flowers. Just the best.]
[Poppy has obviously turned a corner. Thank goodness.]
[A mom’s dream....]
[And we had VERY special visitors this weekend. One of my very best friends and her husband come to visit each MLK weekend and it is a tradition we REALLY look forward to. Just a time to hang and catch up amongst the crazy....]
[And we baptized Miss Penelope Kelly over the weekend along side her cousin Grant!]
[My heart may explode....]
spoon & cellar
You guys. Jordan and I have a a pair of REALLY great friends and they just developed a hotel and restaurant in downtown Cincinnati. It’s amazing.
I bought Jordan tickets to Second City for Christmas so before we ventured up to Mt Adams we stopped down to check it out.
The logo is creative and totally chic. A great reflection of their love for soup and their extensive wine collection.
And guess what.....
Our little Beazy has a drink named after her AND 10% of each drink purchased goes to Cincinnati Childrens! Can you believe it?!
Everything we ordered to eat was so delicious - can’t go wrong with a grilled romaine salad - my favorite. And the soups were exceptional, staff was friendly, and the ambiance was warm and welcoming. A must try in the growing Cincinnati dining scene!
xo
Hillary
update on all things
Hi!
SO much has gone on over the last several weeks and although I know I have posted a couple of times, I am ready to get back into the swing of all things fun!
Below is a LONG list of pictures of what has been my life through the holidays and up until now. Monday was my first day back at work so I’ll talk about that transition in a diff post :)
[Random House Children’s Books sent Bea this HUGE box of books. The woman who oversees publicity at this publishing house found my instagram account ((@hillarykweidner) and had been following along on Bea’s journey. How amazingly nice is this? The books were so thoughtful too - some about being a big sister, some about doctor visits, Frozen books, etc. Bea LOVED it - and so did I!]
[We came back from Florida on December 27th so Bea could be with her little friends at Miss Emily’s on the 28th to celebrate her birthday. :) ]
[And New Year’s Eve we spent at my sister’s house. We exchanged gifts that night and just had a low key one - it was perfect.]
[It was the first year we each drew a name to buy for - instead of buying for everyone - and we LOVED it. Made for some really creative and thoughtful gifts.]
[And then on New Year’s day we celebrated Noodle’s birthday with immediate family. We took everyone to Bea’s favorite restaurant - Skyline - and then migrated back to our house for dessert and drinks. Due to Bea’s egg allergy I whipped up my FAVORITE birthday dessert (my sister makes this for me every year).....dirt cake. It was a total hit :) ]
[Then the Monday after - Jordan was off of work and I hadn’t returned yet so my in-laws generously took both of the girls while Jordan and I cleaned. We cleared out what we needed to in the basement and had fun while we were at it!]
[A couple interesting finds....]
[So embarrassing....]
[And then things turn a turn.....]
[And we rewarded ourselves for the craziness of 2016, getting Bea to age 2, and cleaning the basement with an afternoon lunch at Otto’s & Hotel Covington for dessert....]
[A few other pics from the week....]
[Gorgeous and thoughtful flowers from a friend....]
[Mr and Mrs Briggs Joseph Zerbe]
[Mr and Mrs John Joseph Zerbe III]
[And just this past weekend Jordan and I went to the Second City performance at the Playhouse in the Park but beforehand we stopped at a new fave spot - Spoon & Cellar. It is so beautifully decorated, food was delish...but my favorite part was their drink menu - SEE BELOW! More on this next week!]
[AND ...our doll baby Penelope turns 12 weeks today. SO crazy to think how different this experience is. At 12 weeks Bea had already undergone a 2 week hospital stay, an 8 hour surgery, and at this point we knew a liver transplant was inevitable. This time - Poppy is happy, sleeping 7-10 hour stretches at night and is making our lives a little easier :) Love my girls!]
xo
Hillary
our holiday
We decided right after everything happened with Dad that Longboat Key was going to be the lesser of 2 evils for Christmas. If we stayed in Cincinnati, it would be painfully obvious he was missing in all of the traditions we have done the last 30+ years. SO - the next alternative was to go to his favorite place - LBK. Although the idea was nice, it was still so painfully hard being down there without him. Everything reminds us of him down there. It was the bright spot to to his year and our last trip there in July was just a couple of weeks before everything happened.
BUT - It ended up being the perfect decision. Although it was really, really tough - we were exactly where Dad would have wanted us to be. With each other. On Longboat Key.
The mornings in LBK were my time with Dad. My time to catch up with him, get advice, and just talk everything. Walking in the mornings this time was hard, it was different, but I felt at peace just thinking of him with every step. And I brought a new sidekick with me - Bea.
My younger sister and her husband went all out to try and lift spirits during our trip. They packed all sorts of things to host a Christmas Eve party with a full step and repeat, favors, awards, and SANDta even made an appearance. It was so so fun and Bea (who had previously been afraid of Santa) LOVED it.
Overall, the anticipation of the holiday was worse than the holiday itself. Being out of town helped gloss over Christmas and focus on just hanging out with each other, again, that’s what Dad would have wanted.
[Traveling with two kids - nerve-racking but actually not too bad....]
[When the flood happened, all of the clothing I lost was soaked and ended up frozen outside in garbage bags. My first reaction was to just let it all go but a couple of friends and my sisters helped me sort through and keep a few things. One friend took my stuff to her garage, let it dry, and then took it to the dry cleaner - all within a couple of days so I had clothing for Florida. A saint. :) ]

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2016 still had you.
Hi.
I will do a recap later this week about Christmas, how we spent it, and all of the feelings associated with spending such a holiday without the leader of the 8′s.
Today, I am talking about the new year.
The expression, New Year - New You always helped me jumpstart each year with a purpose to be better and to make the upcoming year great. Like most of you reading, the New Year signified for me a time to hit the reset button and focus on a few things that would make me a better wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend. It was a new start. A new beginning.
I had a hard time spending Thanksgiving and Christmas without Dad but New Year’s came out of the blue as the hardest milestone yet. Is it because it isn’t a holiday but more of a time differentiator? A reminder that time still moves on even without the people who matter to us most?
I have run into a lot of people who have said to me “the last 2 years have been so tough - I bet you’re excited for the new year” or I have even expressed feeling of excitement over saying goodbye to 2015 and 2016.
Now that the new year has officially started, I have totally different feelings about it.
The leap from 2016 to 2017 is hard. Really hard. Although 2015 is the year we found out about Bea’s liver disease, it was also the year we hung onto tremendous hope as she got her new liver and recovered. 2016 we lost Dad but my sister got married, we had a baby and we welcomed a nephew.
The first 6 months of 2016 I had Dad.
I’ll never have a year where I can say that ever again.
So, I struggle with this “new year, new you” because I don’t want a new me.
The new me doesn’t have her best friend. Her world. Her handyman. Her confidant. Her breakfast club partner. Her early riser. Her mentor. Her moral compass.
The new me does’t have her Dad.
I want the old me.
The old me still had you.
Bea is two.
And I can’t believe it!
Today, two years ago, our lives changed forever and it has been a roller coaster ever since. Looking back, it were boring without you. You came in, shook things up and have us counting our blessings every day since.
You are sassy. You are funny. You give loving and deliberate kisses and you are sweet. You are a great listener and you are cautious. You are obsessed with mermaids, Frozen, and thanks to Uncle Zonkie - you are coming around to Santa.
Last year, you crawled on your first birthday in Longboat Key. This year, your speech totally took off and you are repeating words left and right. Your favorite word? Patrick.
LBK looks good on you, Noodle, which is another reason I know we were meant to be :)
We give thanks every day that you are a part of our family and that you fight every day to continue to be. There is no doubt your health will continue to be steady but there is also no doubt we will face challenges. I am confident that with your positive attitude and bright smile - we will conquer anything in our path - together.
And with a little help from your guardian angel above, too. Pappy loved you SO much, Bea. He cherished his time with you and I know for a fact he misses you desperately. The good news? He’s with you always but especially while you lay in bed right before falling asleep. So, talk to him.
SO - as you enter your second year and a year and a half post your liver transplant, keep being you.
That is more than we could ever ask for.
Love,
Mommy